Enough of this.

[Alex DeLarge]

I haven't been on this board for a while. I'm sick of all the whining and overanalyzing of every little detail with a woman. Why the hell does everyone care so much? Just because a girl doesn't return your text within the next 5 minutes does not mean she's off with another boyfriend behind your back. Just because a girl has guy friends doesn't mean she's fvcking all of them. This board is seriously a cess pool of insecure thoughts and ideas which leads to neuroticism.

As Lodro Rinzler says in his famous book "Buddha Walks into a Bar.. "If you drop some dirt into a glass of water, things start to get messy. Particularly if you take a spoon and stir the dirt up." This is metaphorical to everything on this board. Girl doesn't return a text (the dirt is dropped in your glass of water). You begin to over-analyze "Her IL is dropping! Oh No!" (Now you are stirring the glass). Now, when you stop stirring the glass, the dirt drops to the bottom. The water is crystal clear again.

You all need to stop caring so much about the outcomes of dating. You may find a woman particularly interesting and feel that it's going great, however she does not feel the same way. Well, would you want to date a woman who's not that into you if you can date a woman that IS?!

You don't need to be a jerk, you don't need to be nice, you don't need to use all this pick up artist b/s. All you need to do is be your confident self and know what you want. If anything, I think this site may have gotten in the way a few times of some potential great relationships.

I advise each man on this site to abandon all "hope" toward woman. It is foolish, selfish, and pitiful to have "hope" in another person. You can only have hope in yourself.

Now go live your life. Go climb mountains, go travel across country, go see your family and spend time with them, go hangout with your best friends, go abroad and live in a different country for a while. You only live once, why are you going to waste another second thinking "Does she like me?" "Why doesn't she like me?" If you love yourself, you're not going to waste time with such silliness. You'll be out and about enjoying the fruits of life!

I'm working my ass off right now so I can go dharma bum around the country for 2 months and work a seasonal farming job out west in the early fall. From there I think I might use that money to check out Europe for a month or so.. Maybe even work and live abroad out there for a while.

Live your life sosuave! Women aren't as evil and conniving as you think.. At least the ones you'd actually WANT to date!

Best,
Alex DeLarge

 

[Trump]

Agree, yet IMHO only flaw is you are assuming girls that you find a connection with can be found like chocolate bars at 7-11.

Yes you shouldn't care what she thinks, but you should care enough to impress her and make her feel secure, otherwise you could be considered aloof. It's similar to buying a house, you want it, but it won't kill you if you don't get it.

 

[Young Stallion]

Alex,

As much as I understand what you are trying to get at here which is instead of analyzing each and every detail of interactions with women and then using this website to gain insight, we should just be workin on improving ourselves.

So again as much as I understand this, doesn't your post pretty much contradict the purpose of this website? Does this mean that you do not believe websites such as this where guys ask about different attraction and relationship issues should exist? If thats the case, why are you posting on it?

All in all though I agree that we are putting much to much emphasis on understanding women in general and this is leading us to become insecure, however let me ask you this; Would you not agree that there should be a place where people can come to in order to gain the kind of information that this website shares?

 

[JohnChops]

I haven't been on this board for a while. I'm sick of all the whining and overanalyzing of every little detail with a woman. Why the hell does everyone care so much? Just because a girl doesn't return your text within the next 5 minutes does not mean she's off with another boyfriend behind your back. Just because a girl has guy friends doesn't mean she's fvcking all of them. This board is seriously a cess pool of insecure thoughts and ideas which leads to neuroticism.

As Lodro Rinzler says in his famous book "Buddha Walks into a Bar.. "If you drop some dirt into a glass of water, things start to get messy. Particularly if you take a spoon and stir the dirt up." This is metaphorical to everything on this board. Girl doesn't return a text (the dirt is dropped in your glass of water). You begin to over-analyze "Her IL is dropping! Oh No!" (Now you are stirring the glass). Now, when you stop stirring the glass, the dirt drops to the bottom. The water is crystal clear again.

You all need to stop caring so much about the outcomes of dating. You may find a woman particularly interesting and feel that it's going great, however she does not feel the same way. Well, would you want to date a woman who's not that into you if you can date a woman that IS?!

You don't need to be a jerk, you don't need to be nice, you don't need to use all this pick up artist b/s. All you need to do is be your confident self and know what you want. If anything, I think this site may have gotten in the way a few times of some potential great relationships.

I advise each man on this site to abandon all "hope" toward woman. It is foolish, selfish, and pitiful to have "hope" in another person. You can only have hope in yourself.

Now go live your life. Go climb mountains, go travel across country, go see your family and spend time with them, go hangout with your best friends, go abroad and live in a different country for a while. You only live once, why are you going to waste another second thinking "Does she like me?" "Why doesn't she like me?" If you love yourself, you're not going to waste time with such silliness. You'll be out and about enjoying the fruits of life!

I'm working my ass off right now so I can go dharma bum around the country for 2 months and work a seasonal farming job out west in the early fall. From there I think I might use that money to check out Europe for a month or so.. Maybe even work and live abroad out there for a while.

Live your life sosuave! Women aren't as evil and conniving as you think.. At least the ones you'd actually WANT to date!

Best,
Alex DeLarge

Pftttt I agree with the over analyzing. Everyone is way to worried about unreturned texts or phone calls or wtf she's thinking when in reality just have fun. There making women control their life not the other way around ( as it should be ). There's so much truth on this post its insane . I've. Noticed if you live your life women just slide in without much effort anyway over thinking is a killer I do it in chem a lot and I wish I didn't

 

[Love's Orphan]

Wise words, DeLarge. There are several members afraid of making mistakes, asking advice on every step. You have to make mistakes in order to learn. You cant be afraid of losing a hb9. You have to think, work hard to fix your problems.

 

[MisterD]

I agree with the over analyzing. It's scary coming on here and reading how some people live and how much focus they put on every little interaction with women.

I think we're all guilty of it at one point or another, and coming on here can be damaging if you don't know how to handle the information being presented.

At the end of the day, as I've said in many a thread, you just have to live your life. You can't spend all your time worrying over women.

And the craziest part is men are on here trying to understand the logic of a woman. You can't. What may work on one girl may not work on another. Girls just don't make sense. They go by emotions. The bottom line is there are two types of women; girls that dig you and girls that don't.

I've done things that many would consider afc but it's landed me hotties, I've also gotten lukewarm responses from women I tried to game.

Either a chick likes you or she doesn't, and you can't worry about either outcome.

I do think this site does help in doses but, it's definitely not for the weak minded. This stuff can definitely wear on your mental if you're not careful and you lose sense of who you are.

 

[izza]

"Success" is very much a mirage in my experience. I believe a lot of people on this board are living out their deepest hurt and struggling with it. I remember when I was doing this and very unconscious of it. I'm not a whole lot better now, but I try to struggle consciously.

I find it's not particularly difficult to be with some woman, even one I find beautiful. What's hard is relating to women in a way that is really "me." A way that makes me deeply happy, that makes my dreams come true. Women are so broken - it wouldn't be hard to manipulate or emotionally bully people. What's hard is liberating them to freely choose to be with me. I've had women almost sleep with me out of guilt, just because they felt like they led me on. I said, well I'd love to sleep with you but not out of guilt. Let's wait - I want to do this out of joy. Sometimes, I never saw that person again and was sad about it. But I lived up to my values and I can't say I regret it.

I don't see a lot of people on this board who see things that way.

 

[5string]

Do penguins have knees?

Let's discuss and analyze.

 

[TonyBaloney]

Alex,

Yeah i'm getting fed up with all this wishey washey touchy feely "what shall I do" type talk.

Time for a few guys to man up, and get their ball out.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niP-uHBg-pU

YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN

 

[ne0phyte]

alex is right. don't over-analyze things. now i understand why we do it, we all came to this site due to our cluelessness, being hurt by a girl etc. and it's eye-opening to see how things really work. but at a certain point, it becomes detrimental.

"she twirled her hair while talking to me - she must like me. Oh no, now her legs are pointing away - She must be losing interest!" if you're constantly looking for these things while on a date, how "natural" can you be? you're going to appear anxious and girls are much better at picking up stuff like that than you think.

so don't worry so much, just be the BEST SELF that you can be. always work to improve YOURSELF

it's been said on this board many times, and the best way of doing that is through MAKING MISTAKES. now there are some rules for complete newbies to follow, (don't be too eager/available, etc) but other than that, you gotta get out there and talk to many, MANY girls. you will get shut down, you will get played, rejected, heart-broken, etc. but you WILL LEARN much more than from that than from over-analyzing everything on an internet forum.

there are no set lines, no foolproof methods of making girls interested in you. if one isn't responding, put her on the backburner and find another. if you know you messed up and lost her, shrug her off and find another. Yes, it's easier said than done, but you still have to do it. whether you want to find a quality mate, or rack up a bed count in the 1000s, it won't be easy. Nothing in life worth having ever comes easy.

 

[Spinning Spinning]

BOOM!! Great post.

 

[Packers2010]

i like your post alex. i also think that most guys who ask all these stupid questions all the time ( me included) have no idea what they are doing. once we ask the question and gain insight to it. we won't have to asking again because now we know what to do.

 

[bigneil]

Good post Alex.

One reason it's especially important not to overanalyze what women say (especially during a breakup) is: SHE WON'T TELL YOU THE REAL REASON(S) BEHIND HER BEHAVIOR.

She'll sidetrack you with subtle details that were only observed after her heart was no longer in it. She won't say "Well I slept with this other guy the night after I was at your house and he made me come harder so I cancelled my trip with you." She'll say "You weren't nice to the valet." You look like a fool when you scramble to address these issues ("I promise I'll tip them at least $10 from now on!").

Chances are she liked you right away and you liked her BECAUSE she liked you. Then when her feels eventually changed (possibly because you started to take her for granted) she stopped liking you. Instead of restoring her interest level, just find another girl just like she used to be (before you messed it up). They are all the same. If you can get one HB8/9 you can get thousands under similar conditions. Also, you learn from experience (what NOT to do or say) and gain momentum the more experience you have. Women can just sense that you've been there.

It's also important to get used to dumping (or walking away from) super hot women, versus holding until every last shred of respect is destroyed. Absence increases honor, if there is any left. Doc Love says how once Interest Level hits 50% it never comes back. I think it makes more sense to think of her romantic interest level (The top 50%) as reaching zero. Then you can't scale it back up because any number times zero is zero.

 

[metoo]

get your security (physical defense and financial capability) FIRST, don't worry about women at all. Once you have those things "covered", finding acceptable women will be so easy that you will laugh about it.