English People - Help

[doctoroxygen]

I just moved to an area 30min north of London after spending all my previous 18 years in the same place in America. I had a good number of friends in Seattle, where people are relatively outgoing, so moving to reserved Hertfordshire has been a pretty big shock. Yesterday, I went over to introduce myself to the neighbors and they thought something was wrong with me. Evidently, that's something English neighbors don't ever do. So my question is, how do I meet people here? I don't have a car/English license, so I can't drive anywhere. There is a train station within walking distance that would take me into London, but I can't think of any way I would be able to meet people there, either. Has anybody had a similar experience that would be willing to share some tips? England is a cool place, but for the past week it's been very lonely.

 

[Beethoven]

This isn't your main point I'm answering first, but back when I was up in Scotland, an American guy came over to live. Legally, he was allowed to use his American driving license for 1 year before he had to get a British one. I imagine the law's much the same here in England, can anyone confirm that?

If it is, all you need is the car, and some place to drive to.

Try going into various pubs full of people your age and challenging them to a game of (English) pool. Your American accent gives you an easy conversation starter!

--> Beethoven

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

Welcome to the UK, my friend!

You will find that our culture is different from the USA culture in that English people are generally more reserved around strangers. You'll find that over here, the accepted way of meeting people is through 'networking', which means by being introduced to people by others.

But that doesn't mean you can't meet people 'cold', it's just harder. Even though I'm British, I find the UK culture pretty frustrating. I have noticed that during the daytime, people don't speak much to strangers and are quite 'closed off' and 'meek', and in the evening people go to pubs/clubs/bars to drink alcohol, and only then do they drop the 'closed off' side and loosen up. But obviously the negative effects of drinking mean it's harder to have quality conversation.

Have heart though....just because UK people are closed off doesn't mean it's game over. I've noticed that if you take the risk and break the ice in a non threatening way, you can talk to people fairly easily. It does take confidence though.

You hint that you're 18 years old, and there are plenty of ways to meet people. You don't say why you came to England, but if it's work or education related, then you can meet people through that. My advice, meet ONE guy and ONE girl to begin with. Then meet about 5 of the guys friends, and 5 of the girls friends.
Next meet some friends of the 5 they introduced you to, and before you know it you'll have lots of social contact. It's the principal of 'networking', and it's so easy to meet people this way that most people overlook it! As I said, you originally have to meet only ONe guy and ONE girl!!

Good luck, and any questions relating to picking up chicks in the UK, please ask!

 

[doctoroxygen]

Thanks for your help. The reason I moved here is because my dad took a job in Watford, so I don't have school or work in common with anybody here, unfortunately. I will be at university in Dublin in October, and I don't think I'll have any trouble meeting people through that, but it seems like a long time to October from this end, not knowing anybody. The neighbor girl I met yesterday warmed to me after quite a long chat, but I have no idea where I'm going to meet more people. I'd ideally first like to make some guy friends here, because that's always been harder for me than meeting girls. Guitar Whizz, do you have any general tips for English girls, i.e. anything in particular I'd have to change in a "textbook DJ" approach in the US etc? Where in the UK are you? I'm in Chorleywood.

 

[Tweek_1984]

Watford is a bit of a ****hole to be honest. Then again, I'm biased because I'm northern.

Anyways, watch out for what we call 'charvers,neds,townies etc'. Check out this link.

Anyways, I'm sure you'll make some friends through school/college/work. Just don't lay the American thing on too thick because people will be able to see through it. I wouldn't be going into pubs on your own, make some friends first and then start going out. That's if you want to. Personally, I don't bother gong out to clubs unless there is a big band or DJ playing.

Depends what your into though.

The neighbour thing is a bit suprising to me. Last time my family moved house we took flowers raround next door and introduced ourselves. Maybe it was your accent, or maybe your living in a not so affluent area. I don't know but that sounds strange to me.

 

[doctoroxygen]

We don't live in Watford, that's just where my dad's office is. But I agree from what I've seen of it that it's not a great place. Where we live, between Chorleywood and Rickmansworth, is actually the "third-happiest city in Britain" according to some recent newspaper thing. And one of the houses on our street is for sale for 735k pound, so I don't think the SES has anything to do with the aloofness. But the advice on not going into pubs by myself seems like good stuff.

 

[NewMan]

I did the reverse.

I came to the US after living in the UK for 24 yrs.

It's a blast dude.

Use what you have - your accent and the fact that you are different.

This is your "In".

People will want to talk to you and get to know you - find out about you - because you are different.

Cold approachs are a waste of time in my opinion.

You need to join a local sports team - soccer or perhaps rugby.


That way you will meet a load of people.

If you are a cool guy, you can work it into the team atmosphere and have a lot of friends very quickly - because team sports are all about your team mates.

Women are easy. Go out to the bars and clubs - you will have 0 problems.

Have fun - and don't let the reserved attitude stop you. Be yourself above all other things - it will be different to have someone a little unconventional around them - they will warm up to you if your not brash, over the top, and have the "America is the best" attitude that most US tourists have.

 

[Julian]

Anyways, watch out for what we call 'charvers,neds,townies etc'. Check out this link.

Basically wannabe gangsters like we have here in the states.

haha

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Tweek - I saw your link on "Chavs" - the dude hosting the site is a Homo faggot and gets upset when people speak truth that men should keep their penis for the vagina and not a$$es.

You english bastards need to quit marrying your cousins and start 'mixing' with other races to improve your looks! J/K

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

Originally posted by doctoroxygen
Thanks for your help. The reason I moved here is because my dad took a job in Watford, so I don't have school or work in common with anybody here, unfortunately. I will be at university in Dublin in October, and I don't think I'll have any trouble meeting people through that, but it seems like a long time to October from this end, not knowing anybody. The neighbor girl I met yesterday warmed to me after quite a long chat, but I have no idea where I'm going to meet more people. I'd ideally first like to make some guy friends here, because that's always been harder for me than meeting girls. Guitar Whizz, do you have any general tips for English girls, i.e. anything in particular I'd have to change in a "textbook DJ" approach in the US etc? Where in the UK are you? I'm in Chorleywood.

Hello again doctoroxygen. I'm in the north west, about 30 mins south of Manchester. But I have relatives in the south, so I sort of know the area you live in.

You can meet girls in all sorts of ways over here. As other DJs have said, you can use the fact that you're American to your advantage....girls will be more 'intrigued' because you will stand out from the typical UK guys.

If you want to do cold approaches here, I'd suggest being a little less direct, and try conversation openers that get her talking without initially seeming like you're picking her up. Once you're talking, talk about coming from the USA to England, and keep the conversation flowing, then have the balls to ask for her number or arrange a date.

You can meet girls in bars/clubs, libraries, shops, coffee shops/eating places, in fact most everyday places can work over here, it just requires a little more bravery because not many UK guys chat up girls in everyday places.

My best successes have been bars, library and coffee shops, parties, and by being introduced through friends.

 

[danrizzy]

Originally posted by Tweek_1984
Watford is a bit of a ****hole to be honest. Then again, I'm biased because I'm northern.

Anyways, watch out for what we call 'charvers,neds,townies etc'. Check out this link.

Anyways, I'm sure you'll make some friends through school/college/work. Just don't lay the American thing on too thick because people will be able to see through it. I wouldn't be going into pubs on your own, make some friends first and then start going out. That's if you want to. Personally, I don't bother gong out to clubs unless there is a big band or DJ playing.

Depends what your into though.

The neighbour thing is a bit suprising to me. Last time my family moved house we took flowers raround next door and introduced ourselves. Maybe it was your accent, or maybe your living in a not so affluent area. I don't know but that sounds strange to me.

Watford is a dump? You can talk: you're from up north.

 

[Not Quite There]

Originally posted by NewMan
I did the reverse.

I came to the US after living in the UK for 24 yrs.

It's a blast dude.

Use what you have - your accent and the fact that you are different.

This is your "In".

People will want to talk to you and get to know you - find out about you - because you are different.

Cold approachs are a waste of time in my opinion.

You need to join a local sports team - soccer or perhaps rugby.


That way you will meet a load of people.

If you are a cool guy, you can work it into the team atmosphere and have a lot of friends very quickly - because team sports are all about your team mates.

Women are easy. Go out to the bars and clubs - you will have 0 problems.

Have fun - and don't let the reserved attitude stop you. Be yourself above all other things - it will be different to have someone a little unconventional around them - they will warm up to you if your not brash, over the top, and have the "America is the best" attitude that most US tourists have.

There's some good points there, I definitly think he can use his accent to his advantage, but its not anything like the way it is for a brit/irishman in north america.

Anyhow, getting invovled in team sports is a good idea, maybe also charity work, if you got time to kill, basically anything that will involve meeting people.

Actually, your best bet is probably getting a job where a lot of young people work, a pub/restaurant or shop. Assuming your allowed to work here, even if your not, theres ways round it. Your soon meet a LOT of people, and it'll keep you busy whilst your earn money, and before you know it i'm sure you'll have a good few friends.

 

[MasterYoda]

Im getting real tired of this English women are conservative talk.its all about locatioin. Northern chicks are more friendly than southern chicks. when was in Manchester I could strike convo with a chick in a sec. in southern places like Reading, Slough, Oxford etc I found it much harder. London wasn't too bad becasue it was a mixture of cultures but it can get hard.

The harder it is the more skills u need to apply.

 

[Fash]

The general rule of thumb is, if you start from London, the further you move up towards the north, the easier the women get.

I live in Hertfordshire as well, but I rarely go out around here. I find an English crowd difficult to socialise in. I prefare the mixed crowd and for that, you'll need to head into central London.

 

[diablo]

AE...

Interesting thread.

 

[doctoroxygen]

Wow, I'd forgotten all about this thread. Reading it brought back some memories of when I first got here..cool.

I'm doing just fine now

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Originally posted by doctoroxygen
Wow, I'd forgotten all about this thread. Reading it brought back some memories of when I first got here..cool.

I'm doing just fine now

so how did things turn out? how you doing at university?

 

[Warboss Alex]

ESSEX.

And remember, "The Joy Of Life Is Canvey In Your Rear View Mirror".

 

[L777]

Originally posted by Fash
The general rule of thumb is, if you start from London, the further you move up towards the north, the easier the women get.

lol thats true. You wanna go to newcastle man. Any non-jordy is considered exotic there...you would easily get laid after a night out....crazy city it really is.

 

[doctoroxygen]

Originally posted by check_mate_kid_uk
so how did things turn out? how you doing at university?

Very well, thanks. Englishwomen aren't so bad, but I greatly prefer French, Spanish, and Germans. I've made some good friends here. The food's better here, too.