Squy
Master Don Juan
"The best revenge you can get, is living your own life the most happily you can"
I've read this somewhere in this forum before.
I've read this somewhere in this forum before.
Endure!
- Thread starter Pook
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Jack Lance
Don Juan
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i think it's because we have been brought up in a world that thinks to be rich, successful and ambitious is a sin and if u manage to achieve dreams of wealth and happiness, then u must be a crook or something and must have cheated someone out of their 'fair' share of money and happiness, which therefore justifies bringing u down. *take a deep breath*
it's called destructive envy
it's called destructive envy
Mr. Mystery
Master Don Juan
This I whole heartedly agree with, I don't mean any disrespect to Pook, but I don't share the love for this post as everyone else seems to.
And Page...
Chill out pal, you seem to be alittle too worried about how you measure up to others, you should really worry more about yourself.
Mr. Mystery
Last edited:
Bungo Pony
Master Don Juan
This is a very good post, and I agree with most of it. I especially agree with your exes wanting you to fail in life, instead of being successful and happy.
Another note - my father is NOT happy for me, that I found a damn decent woman. He strongly believes that me and her aren't going to last very long.
However, I don't completely agree with the whole change thing. I find this to be half and half. Half of the people will not like the changes they see in you, however the other half will notice an improvement.
Another note - my father is NOT happy for me, that I found a damn decent woman. He strongly believes that me and her aren't going to last very long.
However, I don't completely agree with the whole change thing. I find this to be half and half. Half of the people will not like the changes they see in you, however the other half will notice an improvement.
To those whose success annoys their fathers...
I can totally relate. It seems it also annoys brothers as well.
In high school and early college, we develop habits. Aristotle says (and I totally agree) that we are the sum of our habits. Some people can't break their old habits and they wonder why their lives are going in circles. Others can imagine a success they want and so shape the habits to fit the success, turning themselves into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Change your habits and so change yourself. It is that simple.
I meet people I haven't seen in years and they don't recognize me. When they realize it is me, they just look at me in awe. To me, they are almost exactly the same since I last saw them.
We cannot control Time. But we can control our habits that does create our future.
Hi Survivor!
It's blue supplication!
Survivor, you are thinking that I am saying: "Oh, how I have made so many failures in my life! Oh, if they could only see me now! I must self-improve due to their insecurities!"
How you are reading that from the post leaves me in a state of astonishment. I suppose people see what they want to see.
I've always believed people have more potential, more possibilities, than they ever realize. Realizing one's potential takes more strength than can be communicated.
Most people just... stop. They get grounded up into conformity. They may think that they are still special. But the harsh truth is that they are now just like everyone else. They work at a job they hate (or merely go through for a good wage), return home to perform their 'family duties' like going through the motion in life, almost in a sleep walk. Watching football, heroic movies, etc. all day will be their 'masculinity' buzz as they no longer seem to have it within themselves.
This is how many people think of their life: to graduate highschool, to graduate college (or a good trade school), get a good job, marry, crank out kids, raise kids, grow old, die. This is how my parents think I'd live my life. But I told them, "I will define my own life."
One of my most common questions to people is, "What is your passion in life?" I ask this to older people. They always get a sad look in their eyes and tell me their tale. They gave it up, gave it all up as they grounded up in conformity. They work at jobs they hate 'just to get by'. I've never seen such misery. (If you give up on your dreams, you might as well just give up on your soul. For your dreams and your soul are not two but one).
Let me explain the post so there is no confusion:
As long as you stay in your mold, as the one that everyone sees you in, you are OK. They like you because they can define you. You are harmless.
But when you break OUT of that mold, everything changes. And when I say 'break out', I mean MAJORLY.
If I were a Genie Pook, I would grant you several million dollars. Now, what would the result be?
No, you wouldn't exactly change. Everyone else around you would. You would have more friends than you ever dreamed of. These people would act like they have a RIGHT to your money. You try to go hang out and talk with your friends like normal and they will say, "How can you talk about this? YOU are a millionaire!" Not everyone will despise you, of course. But many will. And you will be astonished at those who will... often times they are your closest relatives...
"But Pook, we are not millionaires."
Not yet. But you are with women. You are with life.
Say you want to be an astronaut. You will hear from experienced members of the program: "Don't do that. It is not worth it. I wish I went into blah blah." Or say if you want to be a writer or artist or whatever. You will hear the same thing, the same echo from the failures: "Go put your energy in something else." They didn't succeed and don't want you to either.
Why is there an income tax? Do not legislatures (who are wealthy) want a lower tax for themselves? Do not these lobbyists want lower tax on their higher incomes? But they do not get their wealth from incomes like you or I do. They have their wealth and want to close the doors on your dreams. (This is why the tax is on INCOME and not on WEALTH. It closes the door on those persisting to be wealthy, not those who already are.)
I've even read here that some people want to 'lock this website up' to not let others succeed! People want to seize the cake of success and hide it from everyone else!
In your exes and every girl who blew you off's ideal world: you would remain EXACTLY who you are and DECLINE even more. People would rather have their vanities intact than to smile on your success.
The more successful you become, the more people will try to tear you down. They will cheer if you go down in flames. This is not paranoia. It is the dark corner of the Human mind.
It is a custom that everyone believes himself or herself special, important, and the center of the universe. When you, minding your own business, break the mold, they will not like it. Many won't display it now because they are rationalizing it away: "Yes, he has changed BUT he is still the same because..." You THINK differently and THIS makes all the difference. When it suddenly becomes clear that you are not what they thought you were, they will retaliate. And this is where many people crack.
I was surprised to see this same sentiment expressed by Anthony Ellis, the guy who specializes in building mass in skinny guys. He says:
As we post here, life continues to march on. Why are we still chattering here?
Some people only want to retreat from their mistakes. "Am I AFC in doing this!? What about this?" When they get angry, they sound like this: "You are the AFC!" "No, sir, it is you!" Back and forth they go with the AFC label. "You supplicated when you did this! No, you supplicated when you did that!"
When I came to this site, I was reaching for love. Now, I reach for life.
AFCs fear this, AFCs fear that. Suggesting that there is some 'latent AFCism' runing through puts me at a loss. Fear? I honestly don't understand the word any longer.
As for me, what people call 'fear' I call anti-life!
I can totally relate. It seems it also annoys brothers as well.
In high school and early college, we develop habits. Aristotle says (and I totally agree) that we are the sum of our habits. Some people can't break their old habits and they wonder why their lives are going in circles. Others can imagine a success they want and so shape the habits to fit the success, turning themselves into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Change your habits and so change yourself. It is that simple.
I meet people I haven't seen in years and they don't recognize me. When they realize it is me, they just look at me in awe. To me, they are almost exactly the same since I last saw them.
We cannot control Time. But we can control our habits that does create our future.
Hi Survivor!
It's blue!
It's blue supplication!
Survivor, you are thinking that I am saying: "Oh, how I have made so many failures in my life! Oh, if they could only see me now! I must self-improve due to their insecurities!"
How you are reading that from the post leaves me in a state of astonishment. I suppose people see what they want to see.
I've always believed people have more potential, more possibilities, than they ever realize. Realizing one's potential takes more strength than can be communicated.
Most people just... stop. They get grounded up into conformity. They may think that they are still special. But the harsh truth is that they are now just like everyone else. They work at a job they hate (or merely go through for a good wage), return home to perform their 'family duties' like going through the motion in life, almost in a sleep walk. Watching football, heroic movies, etc. all day will be their 'masculinity' buzz as they no longer seem to have it within themselves.
This is how many people think of their life: to graduate highschool, to graduate college (or a good trade school), get a good job, marry, crank out kids, raise kids, grow old, die. This is how my parents think I'd live my life. But I told them, "I will define my own life."
One of my most common questions to people is, "What is your passion in life?" I ask this to older people. They always get a sad look in their eyes and tell me their tale. They gave it up, gave it all up as they grounded up in conformity. They work at jobs they hate 'just to get by'. I've never seen such misery. (If you give up on your dreams, you might as well just give up on your soul. For your dreams and your soul are not two but one).
I smell a lot of bitterness here.
Let me explain the post so there is no confusion:
As long as you stay in your mold, as the one that everyone sees you in, you are OK. They like you because they can define you. You are harmless.
But when you break OUT of that mold, everything changes. And when I say 'break out', I mean MAJORLY.
If I were a Genie Pook, I would grant you several million dollars. Now, what would the result be?
No, you wouldn't exactly change. Everyone else around you would. You would have more friends than you ever dreamed of. These people would act like they have a RIGHT to your money. You try to go hang out and talk with your friends like normal and they will say, "How can you talk about this? YOU are a millionaire!" Not everyone will despise you, of course. But many will. And you will be astonished at those who will... often times they are your closest relatives...
"But Pook, we are not millionaires."
Not yet. But you are with women. You are with life.
Say you want to be an astronaut. You will hear from experienced members of the program: "Don't do that. It is not worth it. I wish I went into blah blah." Or say if you want to be a writer or artist or whatever. You will hear the same thing, the same echo from the failures: "Go put your energy in something else." They didn't succeed and don't want you to either.
Why is there an income tax? Do not legislatures (who are wealthy) want a lower tax for themselves? Do not these lobbyists want lower tax on their higher incomes? But they do not get their wealth from incomes like you or I do. They have their wealth and want to close the doors on your dreams. (This is why the tax is on INCOME and not on WEALTH. It closes the door on those persisting to be wealthy, not those who already are.)
I've even read here that some people want to 'lock this website up' to not let others succeed! People want to seize the cake of success and hide it from everyone else!
In your exes and every girl who blew you off's ideal world: you would remain EXACTLY who you are and DECLINE even more. People would rather have their vanities intact than to smile on your success.
The more successful you become, the more people will try to tear you down. They will cheer if you go down in flames. This is not paranoia. It is the dark corner of the Human mind.
It is a custom that everyone believes himself or herself special, important, and the center of the universe. When you, minding your own business, break the mold, they will not like it. Many won't display it now because they are rationalizing it away: "Yes, he has changed BUT he is still the same because..." You THINK differently and THIS makes all the difference. When it suddenly becomes clear that you are not what they thought you were, they will retaliate. And this is where many people crack.
I was surprised to see this same sentiment expressed by Anthony Ellis, the guy who specializes in building mass in skinny guys. He says:
Being a Don Juan IS going to make you different. So what are we to do? Go back to our Nice Guy days? Go back to the AFC mindset of flowers, bad poetry, and chocolate?
As we post here, life continues to march on. Why are we still chattering here?
Some people only want to retreat from their mistakes. "Am I AFC in doing this!? What about this?" When they get angry, they sound like this: "You are the AFC!" "No, sir, it is you!" Back and forth they go with the AFC label. "You supplicated when you did this! No, you supplicated when you did that!"
When I came to this site, I was reaching for love. Now, I reach for life.
AFCs fear this, AFCs fear that. Suggesting that there is some 'latent AFCism' runing through puts me at a loss. Fear? I honestly don't understand the word any longer.
As for me, what people call 'fear' I call anti-life!
Endure. The women that adore you *today* have one thing in common: they want you to *suceed*. The last thing they want is for you to dwell on past failures. No! They want to see you learn from your failures and apply those lessons to the *present*, not the regurgitated past.
Endure. Your teachers, your coach, your true friends and family, all the people who encouraged you and told you how much potential you had if you would just have courage and stand up for yourself: they want you to *suceed*. A big hope in people is *identifying* the "Great Catch", the man who will live up to his utmost potential. Give substance to their vision.
Endure. At your high school reunion, the ones you knew will come back with secret desires of seeing failures everywhere, even at you. Defy them by not even showing up. For their first and lasting impression of you was as Skinny Nerd Boy. As a popular poster once said "People see what they want to see." Going to the renunion will only be viewed as Skinny Nerd Boy impersonating the "Great Catch", even with the muscles. It is useless, futile, and serves no good purpose. Suppress your desire to prove past people wrong and focus more on proving your present self right. Endure.
Half-empty, half-full. Perhaps if you had taken that approach to the post, I would have agreed more.
I remember alot of times when people would tell me how I talk too softly and I needed to speak up, that I was too nice, too skinny and needed to bulk up and toughen up, a chump, a pushover... but I was too heavily vested into my fantasies to take heed. Some offered to help me but I was too ashamed to humble myself and admit that I was a wimp. My biggest regret is not listening those people. Whats utterly pitiful and shameful is that it took a damn web-site for me to come to my senses.
So as opposed to enduring for the people who took advantage of my weakness, I endure for those thoughtful people who tried to help me. They could've easily screwed me over, but didn't. I don't know what they saw in me, maybe they saw their former selves, but whatever it was, I endure for *them*, and not my exes or the girls that shot me down.
Today, I'm more picky of the friends I chose, and the ones I do have, we endure life *together*.
Its not "Pook Against the World".
Its not "Survivor Against the World".
Not everyone wants to see you fail... some are in your corner cheering you along. Don't forget about them.
Ok, now we're on the same page. The key is the "minding your own business" part. What I think is childish is for a guy to go out of his way to prove to his high school crush that he's no longer Skinny Nerd Boy.
Funny thing is, your post seemed bitter to me, yet my response seemed bitter to you!
But anyways, thanks for clarifying.
I don't agree with you Survivor on not showing up at your class reunion. It takes a bigger man to show up. Heck 60% of life is just showing up; this is a misquote from I believe Woody Allen. I also agree that most people want to see you fail. I've felt this way towards others more successful than I.
One thing that has been difficult for me to overcome are gang bang insults. You know when several people at one time gang up to attack you verbally. Often it comes when either I've been overly self-depracating or have created an air of jealousy. It can be very fatiguing to defend.
One thing that has been difficult for me to overcome are gang bang insults. You know when several people at one time gang up to attack you verbally. Often it comes when either I've been overly self-depracating or have created an air of jealousy. It can be very fatiguing to defend.
I gotta disagree with this. I have friends that HELP me to acheive. I also wish my friends all the best. Seriously, some people want you to fail, but this post is made to sound like the ENTIRE world is against you. No way, there are always people to help you when your down.
Take it easy
Take it easy
Survivor: "Yes, endure, but only for yourself and the people that truly care about you."
I'd like to lend more thoughts to this thread but don't have the time now, but I hope to.
Anyway, Survivor...I concur on many things you said, but I was left thinking the entire point of his post was missed, or perhaps I've been dealt a bad hand in life and am bitter.
The latter is not the case, his post seems SO similar to things I've experienced (and still am), that I thought it was my damn autobiography..........I'm SERIOUS!!!!
The part that really got me was "and only for the people that truly care about you".
Sadly, I fear you and I haven't walked the same path yet, but I think you are on it, and your thoughts will change as well, in my opinion. You've been here way longer than me and posted things I truly took good things away from, but now I'm giving my honest opinion.
Often, as cynical as it may sound, those that you beleive truly care about you, are often, sadly 'most often', the ones you must watch out for.
I do have true friends, I don't think we should banish all from our lives per paranoia, but I don't see that in his post, I see the truth, from life experience.
My Grandfather told me once, when I was young, and later my father told me the same, and I won't forget either, no matter how disheartening it seemed to hear, I sware I could see the truth (pain of reality), in their eyes and face........they said "Son, at any time in your life, you can count your true friends on one hand, and have fingers to spare".
The older I get, the more I realize why I saw that look in their eyes and face when they told me, an innocent young kid that fact, they knew I'd wear that same look if I lived long enough to tell my grandkids or kids about it.
I'd like to lend more thoughts to this thread but don't have the time now, but I hope to.
Anyway, Survivor...I concur on many things you said, but I was left thinking the entire point of his post was missed, or perhaps I've been dealt a bad hand in life and am bitter.
The latter is not the case, his post seems SO similar to things I've experienced (and still am), that I thought it was my damn autobiography..........I'm SERIOUS!!!!
The part that really got me was "and only for the people that truly care about you".
Sadly, I fear you and I haven't walked the same path yet, but I think you are on it, and your thoughts will change as well, in my opinion. You've been here way longer than me and posted things I truly took good things away from, but now I'm giving my honest opinion.
Often, as cynical as it may sound, those that you beleive truly care about you, are often, sadly 'most often', the ones you must watch out for.
I do have true friends, I don't think we should banish all from our lives per paranoia, but I don't see that in his post, I see the truth, from life experience.
My Grandfather told me once, when I was young, and later my father told me the same, and I won't forget either, no matter how disheartening it seemed to hear, I sware I could see the truth (pain of reality), in their eyes and face........they said "Son, at any time in your life, you can count your true friends on one hand, and have fingers to spare".
The older I get, the more I realize why I saw that look in their eyes and face when they told me, an innocent young kid that fact, they knew I'd wear that same look if I lived long enough to tell my grandkids or kids about it.
Ivan Drago
Senior Don Juan
This is the type of reaction I hope to draw with my posts someday
Squy
Master Don Juan
Awesome!
Thanks once again for a great post, Pookster! =D
You deserve a 20 times longer reply, but I'm too lazy right now to quote and edit every points I liked, sorry, well at least here is one:
Pook:
Survivor:
and there aren't many...yet.
To all other who reads this comment:
Read everything in this thread, but I recommend you to use the larger part of your time on Pook's 2 posts, and maybe crowes22's post too.
This sounds unnecessary, might-be, but read carefully, and make sure you understood every words and meanings. Then you may post comments/replies/whatever, since I've seen many replies which indicated swift and bad readings.
Thanks once again for a great post, Pookster! =D
You deserve a 20 times longer reply, but I'm too lazy right now to quote and edit every points I liked, sorry, well at least here is one:
Pook:
This is amazing, I just quit a job. Which was really well paid, but as usual also starring a boss, who was the reason for my leaving. Thanks for your corroboration.
Survivor:
Probably a natural DJ. If not must be some true DJ from this site
and there aren't many...yet.To all other who reads this comment:
Read everything in this thread, but I recommend you to use the larger part of your time on Pook's 2 posts, and maybe crowes22's post too.
This sounds unnecessary, might-be, but read carefully, and make sure you understood every words and meanings. Then you may post comments/replies/whatever, since I've seen many replies which indicated swift and bad readings.
This goddamn Pook keeps helping me change my life with his advice...
I really don't understand why some people can't get it. His focus is not just WOMEN, it's about your entire LIFE. That's why many people worship him. And that's why many people can't get what he says, too.
Read many times if you don't understand, you're missing GOLD here.
I really don't understand why some people can't get it. His focus is not just WOMEN, it's about your entire LIFE. That's why many people worship him. And that's why many people can't get what he says, too.
Read many times if you don't understand, you're missing GOLD here.
Ladiesssman
Don Juan
Some people her give me the impression that they are so successful when it comes to women. Are you all successful or are you just putting an impression. Since sucess with women relates to success in life, how successful are you in life. I just like to know how are some of the people and how their life and career, happiness, etc are doing.
huge_guy_pimpin
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even when u change as little as your hairstyle people will not like it, even tho it can make u look better, they will say opposite, they don want u to look better.
huge_guy_pimpin
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i think seeing people fail is not an enjoyment to all
but if u ae an ******* to someone, and then they dont like u, of course they wanna see u fail.
i dont wanna see people fail that are better than me, it actually saddens me when i see successful people i know fail. its the losers that call me names and act childish and immature that id love to keep on failing, only failures expect all to fail,
winners want a challenge, they expect success to match or be better than this success.
but if u ae an ******* to someone, and then they dont like u, of course they wanna see u fail.
i dont wanna see people fail that are better than me, it actually saddens me when i see successful people i know fail. its the losers that call me names and act childish and immature that id love to keep on failing, only failures expect all to fail,
winners want a challenge, they expect success to match or be better than this success.
huge_guy_pimpin
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i think i got the opposite of depression
This is exactly why you should dump your old AFC friends without ANY hesitation.
You WILL get new, and way BETTER friends in their place quaranteed since you won't want your new friends be like your loser ones you had in past.
This is how I've improved greatly my social circles.
Always be looking for new opportunites to make cool friends you look up. Then when you get them as friends and get over them in your developement, find even more cooler friends dumping the old ones you don't want to be your friends anymore.
I've noticed that people want to introduce people they look up to to make them seem better. I've used this to my advantage. I make friends with the cool people I get introduced. As being their friends they introduce me to coolest people THEY know and so on, so I get up all the time. I'm the one who selects my social circle and choose who I allow to be my friend and not the other way around. Try it. Take it as a project and you'll see how your social life improves and goes up like a skyrocket!
You WILL get new, and way BETTER friends in their place quaranteed since you won't want your new friends be like your loser ones you had in past.
This is how I've improved greatly my social circles.
Always be looking for new opportunites to make cool friends you look up. Then when you get them as friends and get over them in your developement, find even more cooler friends dumping the old ones you don't want to be your friends anymore.
I've noticed that people want to introduce people they look up to to make them seem better. I've used this to my advantage. I make friends with the cool people I get introduced. As being their friends they introduce me to coolest people THEY know and so on, so I get up all the time. I'm the one who selects my social circle and choose who I allow to be my friend and not the other way around. Try it. Take it as a project and you'll see how your social life improves and goes up like a skyrocket!
ethan300zx
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great post! although its kinda sad... I think envy is the reason why people want you to fail. They feel sucessful when they have what you don't have. When you start to change and go beyond their expectations, they will have nothing to show off. I know a few people here, including myself at times, tries to keep this site a secret from their friends so that they could be more sucessful with girls while their friends fail miserably. This makes them feel special since all their friends look up to them because they've got the goods and they would find ways to keep it that way e.g. giving bad advice, keeping this site a secret, etc. I think its all come down to human nature...survival of the fittest. Our goals is to be at the top while keeping others from reaching the same status.
Oh ... my ... god ...
I see ... I see it all now ...
I'm a first year in Uni ... living with 6 other students, all first years. I came with a relaxed, easy going, postive/optimistc, enjoy-everything-I-do, like meeting new people attitude. All in all, I was confident.
I personally like to defy the rules in life. I like to be unique, I like to stray away from the common things in life. However, 18 weeks in a house full of 6 students, I feel a level down then I did feel when I first game. I begin to see why ... because of this topic ...
Because I am so easy going and happy all the time, (I like adventure), I tend to like everything i do, I like to talk, I like to talk to different people, I'm not afraid to do things. I see why the other people I live with ... I see why they like putting down things that I like, that I do.
This is simply because, my mindset and attitude/confidence is way better than their's. I know this after 4 weeks of living with them (I like to analyse people, and hell, they were homesick, always calling their partners/parents, they go home very often, let little things bother them, don't leave "old friends" behind).
I just went with the flow and enjoyed it. I left my friends behind, only kept 3 of them in contact. But we rarely contact each other anyway. Because there's one thing in our minds. Go out and meet people, enjoy life, have fun.
But 14 more weeks later, attention seems to revolve around me, as interest raised on me, such as what I like, what I do. (To keep people thinking, I keep myself reserved, mysterious, but yet I'm always with them doing things). Needless to say, they don't like my ambitions and my dream, nor do they like my music/interests and my actions towards "public" people (e.g. checkout assistants, staff, random public people). And in order for them to "lower" myself to their "level" they put me in several parts of my life. (They're scared to do certain things, especially just chatting to someone you've never met, for example)
They are the typical average students:
Go out, spend loads, get wasted. Come back sick. All for what? Nothing. Nothing is achieved. Except having a good time at the beginning then gradually getting worst as the drinks increase.
I tend to NOT go out with them all the time, I only do it once in a while, and even then, I am extremely aware of how much drink I'm putting in myself so I won't get drunk or waste lots of money. Of course social life is important, but why do they think that drinking until your throwing it back all up again is the only method of "fun"?
This is yet another factor which splits me between them. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate them or anything. I came to Uni to study, I want to get the job I want with my degree, I want to pay my parents back for what they have given me over the last 18 years. They're paying for my accomodation and tuition fees, damnit.
However, things are extremely great in my course. No problems there at all. Meet people, go out, have fun.
I think that it is quite hard to explain everything at the moment. I know what I am thinking but I find it hard to express it in words.
Also note that I am single, but this is because my course soaks up a lot more effort and time than the other courses. The others in the house always tell me to go out, and get a girlfriend. I don't want to. Why? I don't have the time (yet). But by them telling me to do so, they are simply putting me down, to their level.
How? They are tied down on a relationship (currently the one of the guys is dating one of the girls in my house, the others have partners elsewhere on the opposite side of the country. more or less). I am single, free to do whatever I want with no strings attached. Hence, I flirt with people I come across, no matter where. They see me doing this, they don't like it. (*-Jealousy-*)
But now ...
I see it all now ... thanks to this post ...
After 14 weeks of decline in my mind, it's time to boost it up again ... I just can't believe I let this happened to me. I guess the countless times they tried to change me altered my way of thinking SLIGHTLY ...
Now, I'm just not gonna give a fxxk about them. They do what they want (and fail) while I go around enjoying life and people and achieving my dreams.
(Note I dropped by here simply because I felt and saw myself slowly degrading. I was going to ask for advice but thank god, I saw this most.)
I see ... I see it all now ...
I'm a first year in Uni ... living with 6 other students, all first years. I came with a relaxed, easy going, postive/optimistc, enjoy-everything-I-do, like meeting new people attitude. All in all, I was confident.
I personally like to defy the rules in life. I like to be unique, I like to stray away from the common things in life. However, 18 weeks in a house full of 6 students, I feel a level down then I did feel when I first game. I begin to see why ... because of this topic ...
Because I am so easy going and happy all the time, (I like adventure), I tend to like everything i do, I like to talk, I like to talk to different people, I'm not afraid to do things. I see why the other people I live with ... I see why they like putting down things that I like, that I do.
This is simply because, my mindset and attitude/confidence is way better than their's. I know this after 4 weeks of living with them (I like to analyse people, and hell, they were homesick, always calling their partners/parents, they go home very often, let little things bother them, don't leave "old friends" behind).
I just went with the flow and enjoyed it. I left my friends behind, only kept 3 of them in contact. But we rarely contact each other anyway. Because there's one thing in our minds. Go out and meet people, enjoy life, have fun.
But 14 more weeks later, attention seems to revolve around me, as interest raised on me, such as what I like, what I do. (To keep people thinking, I keep myself reserved, mysterious, but yet I'm always with them doing things). Needless to say, they don't like my ambitions and my dream, nor do they like my music/interests and my actions towards "public" people (e.g. checkout assistants, staff, random public people). And in order for them to "lower" myself to their "level" they put me in several parts of my life. (They're scared to do certain things, especially just chatting to someone you've never met, for example)
They are the typical average students:
Go out, spend loads, get wasted. Come back sick. All for what? Nothing. Nothing is achieved. Except having a good time at the beginning then gradually getting worst as the drinks increase.
I tend to NOT go out with them all the time, I only do it once in a while, and even then, I am extremely aware of how much drink I'm putting in myself so I won't get drunk or waste lots of money. Of course social life is important, but why do they think that drinking until your throwing it back all up again is the only method of "fun"?
This is yet another factor which splits me between them. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate them or anything. I came to Uni to study, I want to get the job I want with my degree, I want to pay my parents back for what they have given me over the last 18 years. They're paying for my accomodation and tuition fees, damnit.
However, things are extremely great in my course. No problems there at all. Meet people, go out, have fun.
I think that it is quite hard to explain everything at the moment. I know what I am thinking but I find it hard to express it in words.
Also note that I am single, but this is because my course soaks up a lot more effort and time than the other courses. The others in the house always tell me to go out, and get a girlfriend. I don't want to. Why? I don't have the time (yet). But by them telling me to do so, they are simply putting me down, to their level.
How? They are tied down on a relationship (currently the one of the guys is dating one of the girls in my house, the others have partners elsewhere on the opposite side of the country. more or less). I am single, free to do whatever I want with no strings attached. Hence, I flirt with people I come across, no matter where. They see me doing this, they don't like it. (*-Jealousy-*)
But now ...
I see it all now ... thanks to this post ...
After 14 weeks of decline in my mind, it's time to boost it up again ... I just can't believe I let this happened to me. I guess the countless times they tried to change me altered my way of thinking SLIGHTLY ...
Now, I'm just not gonna give a fxxk about them. They do what they want (and fail) while I go around enjoying life and people and achieving my dreams.
(Note I dropped by here simply because I felt and saw myself slowly degrading. I was going to ask for advice but thank god, I saw this most.)
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