Ending it with live in GF

[slickaz]

Been along time since I got on here.

That's because I decided to settle in with the girl I was dating.
At the time she seemed perfect and everything was good.

Right now, everything is still good, she's clean, she's caring and very good as a gf.
However, she is lacking any libido, there has been a complete lack of sex.

I had a health scare a few months back and have had to lay off the gym for recovery and getting back into it now after the doctors gave me the all clear.

I understand I've put on about 5-8pounds. But that is still no excuse to completely stop having sex.
I think going through this and talking to her, her excuse has been I'm just finding it hard to get turned on, but she gets off when I'm not around.

I don't MB, because I know it's not healthy. Hence I'm finding her unattractive, I'm getting alot of attention at work from 7+s atleast.

I have two options.
1.I end it
2. I magically get her to get turned on (we used to have sex 4-5 times a week)

Issue with ending it is we live together in a new country, she has Boone here to move out to..so I can't throw her out...we split rent I can't move out coz she can't afford rent on her own.

I don't wanna be heartless but I think she is bieng heartless with her behavior.

Option 3: I get the booty elsewhere.which is NOT a problem..

 

[Zunder]

"Right now, everything is still good, she's clean, she's caring and very good as a gf.
However, she is lacking any libido, there has been a complete lack of sex".

If you are not fvcking, then what exactly is the point of this live in relationship, or any relationship between a man and a woman for that matter?

Was it Rollo that said "If your not fvcking then your'e her girlfriend".

 

[slickaz]

Ouch!...Gehenna nicely put..

So the question is two fold
1. Do I stoop down to being heartless and knowingly kick her out
2. If no, how do I get the sex back in?


I'd rather sex her than the girls from HR at work..I've got options, go for coffee and drinks after work with 4 girls at work. Nothing has happened physically....so it's not a problem replacing..
Issue is, how would a mature guy play this..to end it, move out and move on without hurting her financially..

 

[backbreaker]

so let me get this straight, you moved to a new country with a woman and her daughter,a nd now she won't have sex with you


wow she got you good. you are a heartless prick if you leave her, and you are a miserable prick if you don't.

 

[slickaz]

Daughter?...noooo..she don't have no daughter lol..it's just her and me moves to a new country.

 

[backbreaker]

she has to go brah. no 2 ways about it.

there is no situation where things get better and she provides you constant sex for the rest of your life.

 

[Desdinova]

If all is good otherwise, then there's something at the root causing the lack of sex. Do you fvck the exact same way every time? Was she ever sexually abused?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Slick,
Sorry mate but you just have to slip out of this as gracefully as possible....it really isn't her fault so don't get upset...studies in Germany show that by the four year mark,half of the Women UNDER 30 lose interest...that's the way it goes...aren't you the lucky One not to be in any deeper.

 

[slickaz]

Holy cow! If four years is the Max then what's the point in gettin married lol.
She was forcing ne to get married last year n I put it off so I'm glad.

As for the other poster, no when the sex was happenin it was great,
Freaky sex all over the place.
Even now every now and then, once a month!!!! When we do it she bursts all over and loves it..but you'd think shed want more..nope.

I think, I'm sure performance wise I'm doing the best I can, I'm fit (albeit not as fit as 5 months ago)
This issue started when I had a kidney problem from working out too much and very high protien diet. So I've had to lay off the gym. But I'm not at all unhealthy, so I'm not sure if that could be the cause..
Either way I'm ok with dumping her I think though that the issue of moving out into a new country is the issue for her..

Come to think of it...the sex stopped 2 months after we moved in together, that coincided with me going to hospital..since my visit we haven't had sex regularly.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Slick,
Well if you must get married,then make sure she is one of the minority that hang in there for the duration....When you move in with them it just kills your Svex life...But there are some who keep a high Libido into their nineties...then there are others who find a joy in Service.

 

[Desdinova]

She was forcing ne to get married last year n I put it off so I'm glad.

It's never good when the woman's pushing for marriage. That's part of the reason I got rid of my last gf.

Anyway, it sounds like you made up your mind that you want to split. There's no time like the present to get the ball rolling. You don't have to boot her out right away, but the longer you put it off trying to find a solution to her moving out problems, the longer you're going to stay together.

Come to think of it...the sex stopped 2 months after we moved in together, that coincided with me going to hospital..since my visit we haven't had sex regularly.

This is a total shot in the dark, but some women absolutely hate to see their strong men have a point of weakness, and it's usually due to health. My ex-wife couldn't stand being around me when I had a cold or the flu. She told me I was a big baby (and who isn't when they're sick?) I personally like a woman who's got that desire to care for a person when they're sick, no matter how whiny they may be. It sounds like your gf doesn't have that.

But she doesn't sound like she's going to be a good match for you. End it as soon as you can and get started back on the road of life.

 

[pdx1138]

studies in Germany show that by the four year mark,half of the Women UNDER 30 lose interest...

It's built into our genes and goes way back to the dawn of human kind.

Women of all ages tend to lose interest within 5 years. This was suppressed in a big way with religion/marriage but you can't counter biological programming forever...hence the world we live in today with sky high divorce rates & infidelity.

there's a really great book that came out last year explaining it. sex at dawn.

 

[Von_S]

Just out of curiosity can you mention what countries you left and moved to for this woman?

 

[Colossus]

Tough spot you're in Slick.

I think this relationship may have run it's course for you, so the end is inevitable. But, you dont wanna be a complete hard-as$ and boot her out with no place to go. A few ways you could handle it:

You could treat it very professionally. Give her a time-frame. If you wait to tell her it's over then she will never get her as$ in gear. Tell her now that the relationship isnt meeting your needs anymore and the two of you would be best to part ways. She will undoubtedly ask why, and tell her exactly why: she isnt putting out. Give her 30 to 60 days to find a new place and move out. **The only problem with this approach is that you will have to live in an excruciatingly tense household until she's gone.

Another option is for you to exit passively---either by getting "caught" cheating or moving out on your own.

Or, you could just get yours on the side and not say a word---but I wouldn't advocate this personally.

When you call it off she will most definitely try to apologize and offer more sex, but trust me this will only be temporary. Once she feels her security is back she will stop putting out again.

 

[Zunder]

Yeah no ones saying literally leave her lying in the gutter while putting the proverbial slipper into her - but you are in no way a baddy for ditching this broad.

 

[Desdinova]

Why do you feel so bad about leaving her, when she seems to have no care for what is important to you (sex)?

Do you have to fvck your male friends to care about them? Of course not. I can care about women I'm not fvcking. She may treat him well in other ways.

She hasn't given him a disease, she's not banging his best friend, and she hasn't spent his life savings. She just doesn't like to fvck. Is that really worth treating someone like 5hit over?

 

[Desdinova]

So what is so bad about a man getting what he wants? Why are our desires so less important than a woman's?

Ask yourself that sometime. I know I just asked it here, but I mean sit down and really think about it for a day.

Then come back, and if you really think that leaving a woman because you are not getting what you want out of it is the equivalent to treating her like $hit, then I would be interested in hearing you out.

I agree with you 100% when you're NOT living with the woman. Slickaz decided to move in with her, making things more difficult to end than if they would have kept their own place. They decided to team up together and share their life. They now have 5hit that needs to be split up, the need to find new places to live, the method of transporting all their 5hit to the new location, and they have to deal with all the emotional crap that goes with it all.

That's what's so great about NOT living with the woman. You can end it whenever the hell you want and the repercussions are minimal (unless she's a psycho stalker.) When you live together, it's a whole different ballgame, and these two decided to move to a different country together, making it even more complicated.

 

[slickaz]

..wow lads!..awesome convo.

Ok answering questions one by one
1. We moved from The States to Australia. Yes big move I know
However, not so big for her, her brother lives in another city in OZ and her friends live in this city. So she's good.

2. I moved in with her because I thought I was ready, I had specified my conditions of moving in with her (which included me time and regular sex). She had agreed to these at the start. I am just learning how wrong I was to think this woman was different to all the lieing scum, that say whatever they need to, to get what they want.

3. I've been seriously considering talking to her and ending it amicably.

4. We go for a drive to the mall, get some lunch today, start talking about how crap the food was and we were laughing, I thought ok, cool...
Then she starts talkin about how I'm not rich enough for her. I'm 28 and work as a senior Exec at the largest bank in Australia and make a reasonable 6 figure. Just purchased a 70k SUV yesterday and live in a nice hogh rise large apartment in one of the top 5 cities in the world. I gave her these stats and said WE were doing pretty good..and why she would say smtn like that..she got mad and started saying how she thinks now I'm showing off. I stated how she also earns very well and I specified WE. Not ME.

She starts talking about how I wasn't attractive..which was random.
I got mad stool up and said "good I'm glad you think so, bcoz if you don't I know another girl that does find me, and she should use this as an excuse to GTFO out my house. I can help her move out today..let's go right now..

She gets scared apologizes profusely..
I say I shut up get your things meet me at the car in 5 or cab home.

In the car, she suddenly offers me head...

 

[Desdinova]

I hope to hell you didn't accept her offer and continued to boot her out.

Then she starts talkin about how I'm not rich enough for her.

That's an insult. A relationship is about mutual respect and trust, not money.

She starts talking about how I wasn't attractive

Insult #2.

She could be trying to get you to do something, or she's just a bytch. Either way, this shouldn't be tolerated. She wouldn't like it if you told her she had saggy t1ts and fvcking her is like stirring soup.

PLEASE tell me you told her to keep her mouth to herself. If you didn't, you're letting her control you with sex.

 

[zekko]

If you're making six figures you should have your choice of a slew of women, you don't need to be stuck with one that doesn't appreciate you. Telling you you're not attractive? You don't have to put up with that disrespect.

If she told me I wasn't rich enough for her, I'd have said "okay", pulled the car over, and dropped her off on the street.

Do you have to fvck your male friends to care about them? Of course not. I can care about women I'm not fvcking. She may treat him well in other ways.

Sex is important, but I would never marry or live with some girl just for the sex. I don't understand the guys on here who say the only point to being with a girl is the sex. If that was all there was to it, I probably wouldn't even bother.