Emotoinally Damaged/Abused Women
- Thread starter jnallen
- Start date
You are right. However: Do not forget about anything you've learned here. I will tell you why.
Once you start a relationship with a woman like this, you are gonna have to work hard to get her to trust you. You might have to talk a lot about the things that happened to her in the past. Or at least SHE will. She has promised herself that she was not gonna hook up with another one of those jerks. She may have even stated that she would never have anything to do with guys again.
You are being kind to her, you build up her confidence and eventually, after lots of hard work in trying to get her to open up again, she will start to trust you. Her self-esteem goes up and as soon as she is being her 'old self' again, the nasty girlie tricks might all come back again.
There is no need to worry though, just as long as you act like the man that can protect her and will not bore her to death by just being sweet and patient.
Once you start a relationship with a woman like this, you are gonna have to work hard to get her to trust you. You might have to talk a lot about the things that happened to her in the past. Or at least SHE will. She has promised herself that she was not gonna hook up with another one of those jerks. She may have even stated that she would never have anything to do with guys again.
You are being kind to her, you build up her confidence and eventually, after lots of hard work in trying to get her to open up again, she will start to trust you. Her self-esteem goes up and as soon as she is being her 'old self' again, the nasty girlie tricks might all come back again.
There is no need to worry though, just as long as you act like the man that can protect her and will not bore her to death by just being sweet and patient.
Well just try and be a GOOD man. But still be ambitious enough and have your OWN life. Don't be affraid to go after what you want. Don't let her know all your fears and insecurities.
You can still treat her right but just.. be a MAN.
You can still treat her right but just.. be a MAN.
Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
I agree with what Caveman has said.
And yes, many of the 'rules' don't apply ,
but each individual is different and the type and timing of the abuse make a big difference, so generalizations are hard to make. However, in my case, she would say things to me that on the face of it would seem inappropriate or even cruel (and that would have everyone saying 'Next' !), but that were inconsistent with her actions towards me, and that she would usually forget in a day or two. I realized after a while she was 'venting' her emotions and that the best thing to do was to listen but not react. She even realized after awhile what she was doing.
And yes, many of the 'rules' don't apply ,
but each individual is different and the type and timing of the abuse make a big difference, so generalizations are hard to make. However, in my case, she would say things to me that on the face of it would seem inappropriate or even cruel (and that would have everyone saying 'Next' !), but that were inconsistent with her actions towards me, and that she would usually forget in a day or two. I realized after a while she was 'venting' her emotions and that the best thing to do was to listen but not react. She even realized after awhile what she was doing.
Re: Emotionally/Physically Abused Women
Well one thing i've noticed is the older you get the more 'baggage' people have (or in this instance women). What i've found myself doing when dating women was screening them for what I could/would and wouldn't deal with if I was to continue dating them. I didn't follow every 'rule' to the letter but alot of them gave me the groundwork of what I should or shouldn't tolerate or have to deal with on a case by case scenario. By the way, welcome back JNAllen.
Hey 1utfan1
Thanks buddie...
Yes A LOT of weeding out I have learned.
This one has just been so hurt is all. Time and someone to not hit her will do wonders. She has never done anything nasty like the ex...OMG remember that.
She has never caused problems. I just need to be more in tune with how she takes things differently than someone who has not been through what she has.
Thanks for the welcome...It's been a long time.
Thanks buddie...
Yes A LOT of weeding out I have learned.
This one has just been so hurt is all. Time and someone to not hit her will do wonders. She has never done anything nasty like the ex...OMG remember that.
She has never caused problems. I just need to be more in tune with how she takes things differently than someone who has not been through what she has.
Thanks for the welcome...It's been a long time.
The rules in the bible are for the unexperienced or AFC as we'd like to call them. Once you're out of that phase forget about everything you've read since you won't need the rules. You can handle women without needing those rules. That's one of the things I've noticed. THe more experience you gain the easier it is for you handle women according to your standards and with experience it's much easier to make compromises because you know it's not the end of the world even if you make a mistake. So if you think you have experience don't act stupid, just do what you think is right. That's the whole point of the DJ bible, to improve yourself as a man. After a while you won't even think about your actions and you will KNOW that you've improved.
Yes, I've come across a few where I'd have to be more 'in tune' with how she takes things based on what she has told me. The tricky part is not becoming their therapist. And yes I remember your ex. The good thing is referencing her as your ex still.
I like what Ebach posted. While in your AFC stage and you digest the rules they become second nature and your gut tends to lead more. At least that's how it is for me.Player_Supreme
Banned
Re: Emotionally/Physically Abused Women
Handling normal womens minds ain't easy either.
Pimpin ain't easy...now multiply that one person your talking about by 4-5 6 or 7...and a pimp is the hardest working man in America.
Handling normal womens minds ain't easy either.
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
Re: Emotionally/Physically Abused Women
In most cases, many women who have been emotionally/physicallly abused have brought it upon themselves. In many instances they have gravitated towards and initiated such abuse. Be careful of such women - they tend to blame the other party for their woes!!!