Emotionally Unavailable Guy

Rainman4707

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 30, 2012
Messages
1,615
Reaction score
535
He’s not a wimp, he’s not a jerk. He may be masculine and give her good sex. He may be a gentleman and make her feel very appreciated. Still there is one more important thing missing; he’s not emotionally available. Sh e tries over and over to get him to open up to her, but it never happens. Women are emotional creatures and they need it, so she eventually leaves.





Main thing is don’t be a wussy,,but lots of guys on this site are trained to be ice cold,,,they run game,,,and are told to NEVER ever talk about their feelings to women. If you're in a relationship, she needs to know you love her and you will give everything you are to her. You need to open up more.

Majority of guys on here are like robots.
 

SmoothHendrixPS2

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2022
Messages
280
Reaction score
219
Age
33
being vulnerable and emotionally available is important when in a long term relationship. Unfortunately, men get this timing all screwed up. The nice guys who pedestalize the girl show this too early when the girl isn't that invested, while the dudes who are as$ holes wait too long but it keeps them in control of the frame. More times than not, it's better to not show her your cards (how much you like her) to maintain a frame of mystery and control. From my experiences, being open emotionally at the right time has worked in my favor, but you have to make sure it's going to be worth the investment as it may bite you in the as$.
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
2,488
Reaction score
4,236
Age
38
The issue is that being "emotionally available" is such a feminine phrase and reflects a feminine outlook. Generally speaking, women will use this as a placeholder term for whenever she doesn't see eye to eye with you - almost a form of gas lighting honestly. "Oh, you don't agree with me abut x, y, z, I feel so disconnected from you. You are so emotionally unavailable!" Generally, there is little substance behind it when a woman has flung this in my face in my past.

A man needs to be strong above all else. Doesn't mean you can't show some vulnerability (sparingly); and it certainly doesn't mean you can't be supportive. Never doing either of those things CAN result in losing a relationship. However, I do think that showing too much vulnerability will usually backfire and not be a good look. You always need to be seen as one who is strong and commands respect.
 

Rainman4707

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 30, 2012
Messages
1,615
Reaction score
535
The issue is that being "emotionally available" is such a feminine phrase and reflects a feminine outlook. Generally speaking, women will use this as a placeholder term for whenever she doesn't see eye to eye with you - almost a form of gas lighting honestly. "Oh, you don't agree with me abut x, y, z, I feel so disconnected from you. You are so emotionally unavailable!" Generally, there is little substance behind it when a woman has flung this in my face in my past.

A man needs to be strong above all else. Doesn't mean you can't show some vulnerability (sparingly); and it certainly doesn't mean you can't be supportive. Never doing either of those things CAN result in losing a relationship. However, I do think that showing too much vulnerability will usually backfire and not be a good look. You always need to be seen as one who is strong and commands respect.
Yeah, like i said one dosent have to be a wussy, but you have to tell her how you feel sometimes. You have to open up a bit. I've only recently started doing it. I used to be like a robot because sosuave told me NEVER talk about your FEELINGS to a woman.

Woman i have now loves me so much and i am able to reciprocate.
 

Dash Riprock

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2005
Messages
1,775
Reaction score
3,511
Location
Mile High City, USA
He’s not a wimp, he’s not a jerk. He may be masculine and give her good sex. He may be a gentleman and make her feel very appreciated. Still there is one more important thing missing; he’s not emotionally available. Sh e tries over and over to get him to open up to her, but it never happens. Women are emotional creatures and they need it, so she eventually leaves.





Main thing is don’t be a wussy,,but lots of guys on this site are trained to be ice cold,,,they run game,,,and are told to NEVER ever talk about their feelings to women. If you're in a relationship, she needs to know you love her and you will give everything you are to her. You need to open up more.

Majority of guys on here are like robots.
Good points. If you want to keep the girl around, at some point, you'll have to open up a bit. But not too soon and not too much. Drip it out a little at a time over time just like hot sauce. Once I get to know a girl, if the conversation is heading in the right direction, I might just say "I know I can be self-righteous and I have a short fuse at times. They're character flaws, but I own them." And leave it at that.
 

CornbreadFed

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 7, 2023
Messages
3,186
Reaction score
2,463
Age
30
Location
Nashville, TN
These men are basically the male equivalents of the girls they constantly complain about.
 

RazorRambo24

Banned
Joined
Dec 30, 2022
Messages
1,203
Reaction score
1,381
Age
32
Emotional unavailability up to a certain point is healthy for experienced men who don't attach feelings to sexual relationships.

But I think you're more or less referring to dense robotic dudes who barely crack a smile and don't ever talk about anything personal.. the guys who seem kinda stoic at first but then just end up being boring and don't give the girl any validation so she just ends up detaching emotionally and staying with them for a while before she finds a diff guy.
 

BillyPilgrim

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
4,882
Reaction score
3,797
I think there's some sweet spot variance here. You get a girl who usually dates tough guys, you can show less emotion. You get a needy emo girl who usually dates sensitive guys, you can show a little more.

But as @Dash Riprock says, you want to drip it out.
 
Top