Emotion is not bad

[Nocturnal]

*Credit to Grey Fox who spurred the thoughts that bring you this post

Many of us have preached that emotion is something to be controlled. Kept under watch. That is true, but for a good reason.

All of us have goals, but the question is, why? What makes us different from machines? Machines are told what to do, they have no desires. The difference is that we do have desires. There is something in each of us that says, "I want XXXX." This something is emotion -- part of human nature.

Passion is a strong word, but I think that those of us with the most passion are truly the most human. Webster.com defines passion as, "a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept." Devotion. That's another strong word. When are you devoted to something, when are devoted to life, you are very human.

You just have to let passion guide you.

What? Passion? Emotion? Control me? Allow emotion to tell me how to act and who to be?

Yes.

And no.

Goals come from emotion. Desire. Passion. Each of us has goals and each of us devotes our lives to at least one goal, whether it is to become rich, to become happy, or to stay alive. Goals consume us. As long as there is a breath in your body, you are heading closer to some goal that you desire so much that you devote yourself to it. That is emotion.

Emotion is the driving force behind your goals. Emotion is your motivation. Your desire, your passion. Emotion is what makes you wake up every morning and keeps you putting up with all of the discomforts in life for the greater comfort.

To accomplish your goals to the fullest, this emotion cannot be restrained or ignored. This emotion must be allowed to command your every action. This emotion cannot be questioned, it is the ultimate decision maker. When you make every action devoted to fulfilling the passion within you, you will lead a happy life.

So what ever happened to using restraint with emotion? Why isn't logic the ultimate decision maker?

Logic is not the ultimate decision maker, it simply cannot be. Logic is a tool. Logic has no say in what you want. Logic helps you determine what you want.

You see, it is not always easy to determine exactly how the decisions we make in life will affect its outcome. You might have a passion for art, so your goal might be to pursue the life of an artist. The question is, when is emotion ok to listen to?

When you find out that your "friend" has stolen all of your artwork and run off to a foreign country to cash in on it, practically ruining your career, do you allow the emotion you feel so strongly to break you down and make you throw in the towel? Logic would say to cut your losses and keep going. But is that logic speaking, or is it your passion speaking? If your goal is truly to become a great artist, then you only have to identify that goal and allow logic to tell you what to do to take you there.

The goal is driven completely by emotion though, and THAT is the emotion you need to listen to. It's the difference between succeeding in the long term versus succeeding in the short term. If you listen to the emotion you feel so strongly about, the passion within you that tells you what you love and what you want out of life, THAT's when you will succeed. In the short run, making the irrational decision may make you feel better, but in the end it's no good. That's why it is irrational.

Emotion in its purest, greatest form is quite grand. "Follow your heart" is a valid suggestion. Just know where your heart is pointing.

 

[Nocturnal]

bump...

 

[Krassus]

Emotion drives us, right on. But it must be controlled. Because emotion can drive us to success as easily as failure. We must control it and make sure that our thoughts, our emotions are the right ones. Only once we've shaped our thoughts to our own liking can we lay back and let them guide us. Unfortunately, most people here haven't even heard of this concept, let alone mastered it or even began implementing it. Which explains why no one is replying to this post

 

[Jariel]

Good advice and I completely agree.

One of the worst things anyone can do is cut off or repress their emotions. What we should be striving to learn, however, is how and when to express them.

A lot of guys fear and therefore repress their emotions because they think it scares women away. But emotion doesn't necessarily scare women away; it's the inappropriate gestures and their inappropriate timing that scares them away, such as sending flowers after a second date, obsessive calling and clinging.

 

[dearsappho]

Originally posted by Jariel
it's the inappropriate gestures and their inappropriate timing that scares them away, such as sending flowers after a second date, obsessive calling and clinging.

Which, in part is fuelled by emotion...go figure.

 

[Nocturnal]

bump

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by Krassus
Emotion drives us, right on. But it must be controlled. Because emotion can drive us to success as easily as failure. We must control it and make sure that our thoughts, our emotions are the right ones. Only once we've shaped our thoughts to our own liking can we lay back and let them guide us. Unfortunately, most people here haven't even heard of this concept, let alone mastered it or even began implementing it. Which explains why no one is replying to this post

\

Do you know why children need adults because left on their own children would destory themselves, and do you know why? Children have little to no control over their emotions, so they can only make bad decisions.

It is impossible to get rid of your emotions, but as you grow more mature you will learn the need to surpress or control them.

A lot of fat people cant control their desire to eat? A lot of criminals couldnt control that emotion called "anger" and thus did something really, really stupid. A lot of afc couldnt control that feeling of fear that came over them and so they let the hottest girl in the bar who was obviously flirting with them get away.

No Man has every been sucessful in anything in life, without mastering self control. Emotions make us wild and reckless, but the end results of these actions are usually not good.

Emotions are never going to go away so either you learn to control them or they will control you, and you will end up the fat, locked up criminal, who attacked the guy in the bar, because he was able to control his fear and went and closed on the fine woman you were staring at all night that was flirting with you.

 

[Nocturnal]

just bumping a few posts up so they dont get lost

Originally posted by Royal Elite
It is impossible to get rid of your emotions, but as you grow more mature you will learn the need to surpress or control them.

Yes but only for a "greater good" type of thing. The underlying passions and other emotions that drive us should be dictating how we live, but the impulsive feelings we get in the short term should not.

 

[sexual_intellectual]

quality post

 

[Reed247]

emotion

it's quite a challenge to control your emotions, especially if someone did something like humiliate you in front of others. Women like to test men's emotional level by doing crappy things to him, standing him up, breaking dates, insulting his style and taste, etc. Martial artist tend to be excellent at self control.
The whole basis of martial arts is based on self control, mainly mind control. Meditation is a good thing to do to clear your head from sick thoughts.
I know a lot of guys drink, smoke and do drugs to fight off their anger and depression but it gets them even deeper into the whole they have dug for themselves.
To really be a success with women I think you need to be at your personal best.
I used to lift weights everyday and looked like a body builder on a fitness magazine (not the steroid type), I would eat a lot and work out. I would push myself. I drank water, never did drugs, didn't drink alcohol. Women came to me like a magnet.
When I got sick, I stopped going to the gym for a couple of weeks, got lazy, and altogether quit my health habits when work stress and girl stress came. I broke up with my girlfriend and was really depressed.
But when I had this superman like physique and a healthy mind I noticed my confidence could not be penetrated at all.
It was all about control, self discipline, habit. When you break these off things are hard to control in your mind especially relationships. If you have notieable flaws and you can't control them a lot of people give up and accept them rather then trying to erase the flaws. It takes a lot of work to be a confident winning man.
A lot of hard business men are confident because they are good at what they do and make a lot of money, in return they get women.
A lot of hard working gymnist, body builders, musicians, they all get girls because they are at the top of their game.
Just remember that nobody in power is ever satisfied with it, they always want more until they own the world. People need to think realistically about their goals.

 

[Nocturnal]

*Don't want this to get deleted*

 

[Doggystyle]

People love emotion and passion, whenever talking to people, telling stories etc.. always express how you feel about the situation.

All eyes will be on you most the time and you will be the centre of attention, also you always have something to say, being a passionate person because you will have lots of opinions of wide range of subjects.

Passionate people are very charismatic

 

[Jariel]

Passionate people are very charismatic

Yes, this is something I've observed too!

People with passion for life are great to be around and their passion is infectious and makes everyone feel good.

 

[Visceral]

I want to say that emotions are things that you have to give yourself to in order to make them work for you.

I think the reason most men are scared of their emotions - especially the powerful ones - is that they set themselves apart from them in their minds. When this happens, the emotions begin to seem foreign, a motivating force contrary to the unemotional intellectual ego.

We grow up being told that our emotions - and instincts - are bad, that we shouldn't show them, much less act on them, and must instead follow rules that are first given to us by others, but eventually memorized and repeated of our own accord. This is the birth of the ego.

Simply expressing emotion becomes awkward; you stop the emotion, vet it, but then have to force it out since it's lost its own momentum. This could explain why forced emotion is unattractive but the same emotion expressed naturally can be very attractive.

We recognize this artificiality - and its consequences - which either reinforces the idea the emotions are bad, or can lead us to the conclusion that the emotion must not be genuine - or simply not congruent with the ego - so we repress it, eventually rendering ourselves unable to feel it at all.

Also, outlets for emotions - especially aggression (even positive aggression) and sexuality - are few and far between in our society, and then are burdened with a great deal of organization and ritual. It's no wonder that emotion is saved for the right time and place, which most men simply don't have the ability to recognize, or is so specific that it rarely, if ever occurs.

 

[realsmoothie]

We North Americans are so logically centered, so afraid from our emotions, that it kills us inside.

Look everywhere else in the world (well, most places), and you'll see people with a much healthier connection to their own feelings.

In terms of what we are talking about on this board... this fear of emotion leads us to fear attraction for women. We treat dating and love and marriage as a game that needs rules, rather than focusing on the passion that you might feel just by being in the presence of someone you are attracted to.

 

[Nocturnal]

Visceral, I wholeheartedly agree.

We North Americans are so logically centered, so afraid from our emotions, that it kills us inside.

I don't think you understood my post if you still think that logic and emotion can only exist together as a dichotomy.

Logic is a great tool. In fact, to oppose logic is to oppose reality. Nothing goes beyond logic without going being reality.

But you have to use it in conjunction with your emotions, not as some seperate option to weigh against them on a scale of what works out better. It will always work out better if you use logic.