Embrace Failure

[JohnChops]

Welcome failure into your fvcking life gents!

After these past two weeks of studying and studying and getting about 3 hours of sleep a night it made me realize that if I do good on this test then ill be happy if I do bad ill find a way to rape the exam next time and find anyway to increase my grade. Usually people who get a bad grade never embrace their failures. They just fvcking mope about it and do even worse the next time! They never learn! What are they brain dead vegetables ?!

Failure and learning are both related to each other. If you never fail you never learn, if you fail and learn and improve then you will fortify yourself for the next time you face a similar situation.

Failure can be a bad habit to. According to Piaget's cognitive development theory, we organize our information in schemas and we use these schemas to help us process new information and we usually end up doing the same thing that we did the last time, or what our schema has knowledge of (called - assimilation) . If you fall into this trap of doing what you know, you wont get anywhere!

With breaking your schema's from your previous mind to prosper into a new one you will then embrace your failures, learn from them and come back to kick some a$$ the next time you come to an unfamiliar situation (or hey an exam )


-John Fvcking Chops (Possibly going insane)

 

[btownbuck2012]

This is good advice.

It's important to adapt the mindset of "Whatever happens, at least I tried and will have this particular experience under my belt". I'm of the opinion that no experience or failure, no matter how painful at the moment it occurs, isn't beneficial to you somewhere down the road.

If you never fail, how will you ever know your limits? How will you know how far you can go? You've got to fail. Read that again. you have GOT TO fail. There's no question about it. In order to be successful, it is a requirement that you fail. Therefore, you shouldn't worry about failing because it's the essential component of success. As a matter of fact, the next time you fvck up in life, just rest assured that you're on the right path.

Although as John Chops alluded to, you have to have the mindset of constant improvement. There are plenty of people who fail over and over again and never correct anything. You've got to analyze your failure and think about how you can do better the next time, but certainly NEVER avoid failure. EVER.

 

[JohnChops]

This is good advice.

It's important to adapt the mindset of "Whatever happens, at least I tried and will have this particular experience under my belt". I'm of the opinion that no experience or failure, no matter how painful at the moment it occurs, isn't beneficial to you somewhere down the road.

If you never fail, how will you ever know your limits? How will you know how far you can go? You've got to fail. Read that again. you have GOT TO fail. There's no question about it. In order to be successful, it is a requirement that you fail. Therefore, you shouldn't worry about failing because it's the essential component of success. As a matter of fact, the next time you fvck up in life, just rest assured that you're on the right path.

Although as John Chops alluded to, you have to have the mindset of constant improvement. There are plenty of people who fail over and over again and never correct anything. You've got to analyze your failure and think about how you can do better the next time, but certainly NEVER avoid failure. EVER.

I have to admit Im guilty of trying to avoid failure in the past. For example this physics class im in, the professor is terrible just god awful , and I have to teach myself physics. I was going to drop it But I decided to take the plunge into the class and do my best and if I fail then the worst case scenario is I retake it with a new professor. I truly believe everything is a mind game. Pook had it right with as you think so shall you become because before a test I tell myself ill rape this test and tear it a new a$$hole and thats 99% the case every time.

If you can get a grip on your mind you can do anything. Using failure, as you said, an analyzing where you went wrong is step 1. Step 2 is improving in that aspect , go insane and improve improve improve. Step 3 - look in the mirror and smile , because god damn did you do some hard work to improve yourself and youll look back on your failures and just laugh and thank them for the motivational push they gave you .

 

[Chickfight]

Think of failure as a you would a cactus. You wouldn't embrace it, but they're out there (I dunno, in Nevada or something?) and if you fall on one, the best thing to do is accept what happened and try to avoid it next time. After all, it doesn't hurt anymore.

Accept failure, don't embrace it.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Think of failure as a you would a cactus. You wouldn't embrace it, but they're out there (I dunno, in Nevada or something?) and if you fall on one, the best thing to do is accept what happened and try to avoid it next time. After all, it doesn't hurt anymore.

Accept failure, don't embrace it.

I disagree with this. The reason being is because with guys who are painfully shy around women, there is no drawback to failing. Talk to them, flirt, use cheesy pick up lines, etc. Just dive right in. Do whatever it takes to get over your fear of interacting with very attractive women. It's different than with a cactus because if you fall into a cactus, yea you'll get all cut up. However, if you're trying to talk a beautiful woman and she isn't responsive, at least your balls will grow from the attempt. You've got to embrace failure in that sense.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I have to admit Im guilty of trying to avoid failure in the past. For example this physics class im in, the professor is terrible just god awful , and I have to teach myself physics. I was going to drop it But I decided to take the plunge into the class and do my best and if I fail then the worst case scenario is I retake it with a new professor. I truly believe everything is a mind game. Pook had it right with as you think so shall you become because before a test I tell myself ill rape this test and tear it a new a$$hole and thats 99% the case every time.

If you can get a grip on your mind you can do anything. Using failure, as you said, an analyzing where you went wrong is step 1. Step 2 is improving in that aspect , go insane and improve improve improve. Step 3 - look in the mirror and smile , because god damn did you do some hard work to improve yourself and youll look back on your failures and just laugh and thank them for the motivational push they gave you .

Exactly. I remember back when I was in college I'd have these LONG reading assignments. One was about IT software. It was like 40ish pages long. Most boring sh!t on the planet IMO, but the professor told us everything in the book was fair game for a test, so i read that whole damn book about "IT Management" that semester. Some 400ish pages long. After I was done with a reading assignment for that week, I'd literally pat myself on the back and say "good job, man" out loud to myself.

That's the kind of stuff you've gotta do. Always be kind to yourself and give yourself praise when it's due. As far as sticking with that physics class is concerned, good for you man. That's hard work. Physics, Chemistry, etc, was never my thing in school. Those are tough subjects and a-lot of people would just drop it, so PROPS to you for sticking through with it. Stuff like that builds character.

 

[Chickfight]

Exactly. I remember back when I was in college I'd have these LONG reading assignments. One was about IT software. It was like 40ish pages long. Most boring sh!t on the planet IMO, but the professor told us everything in the book was fair game for a test, so i read that whole damn book about "IT Management" that semester. Some 400ish pages long. After I was done with a reading assignment for that week, I'd literally pat myself on the back and say "good job, man" out loud to myself.

That's the kind of stuff you've gotta do. Always be kind to yourself and give yourself praise when it's due. As far as sticking with that physics class is concerned, good for you man. That's hard work. Physics, Chemistry, etc, was never my thing in school. Those are tough subjects and a-lot of people would just drop it, so PROPS to you for sticking through with it. Stuff like that builds character.

See, the problem here is that you're comparing being good with women to studying for IT software exam. Being good with women is something EVERYBODY has in them. People have been doing it since the dawn of time or else we wouldn't exist. It's not something you learn, it's something you learn to remember.

I disagree with this. The reason being is because with guys who are painfully shy around women, there is no drawback to failing. Talk to them, flirt, use cheesy pick up lines, etc. Just dive right in. Do whatever it takes to get over your fear of interacting with very attractive women. It's different than with a cactus because if you fall into a cactus, yea you'll get all cut up. However, if you're trying to talk a beautiful woman and she isn't responsive, at least your balls will grow from the attempt. You've got to embrace failure in that sense.

Are you saying that getting rejected doesn't hurt? Maybe if you're a sociopath or a robot, but it does to people who actually feel emotions. By accepting failure You accept the temporary pain, learn and move on,. Embracing it implies dwelling on it and keeping it close to heart, which just perpetuates the negative feelings.

 

[btownbuck2012]

See, the problem here is that you're comparing being good with women to studying for IT software exam. Being good with women is something EVERYBODY has in them. People have been doing it since the dawn of time or else we wouldn't exist. It's not something you learn, it's something you learn to remember.



Are you saying that getting rejected doesn't hurt? Maybe if you're a sociopath or a robot, but it does to people who actually feel emotions. By accepting failure You accept the temporary pain, learn and move on,. Embracing it implies dwelling on it and keeping it close to heart, which just perpetuates the negative feelings.

In regards to my IT software exam, I was simply relating to him in regards to tough college classes and how I was impressed that he chose to not drop his physics class.

Anyways, I'm not saying rejection doesn't hurt. Of course it hurts. In order to make any significant progress, at least in my case, I had to EMBRACE the type of environment I was throwing myself into. Cold approaching girls in bookstores, the mall, on campus, etc, etc can be a very difficult thing for guys. Especially if you were anything like me growing up, i.e. shy and introverted. The only thing that worked for me was embracing the reality of the situation, i.e. I was gonna get shot down a-lot and embarrassed before I had any success. I used to go up and talk to 10 girls and not expect anything out of it except a warm up. It took me time to get myself comfortable in that environment. I pumped myself up and grew thick skin

In my opinion, simply accepting the reality of the situation implies that you're lacking motivation. It implies that you're not really willing to work as hard as you could to overcome these types of problems. But that's ME. Not saying I'm right or wrong. Just my 2 cents

 

[JohnChops]

Just had my physics exam two hours ago, it took a sh1t on me, hardest exam I have ever taken. Going to study more for the next one.

Anyway, true accepting reality means you lack motivation in the sense of "Oh I failed that test, didnt pick up that girl, nothing I do will ever work, I accept my failures, guess ill live life a loser forever!" . Ouch that would blow, with embracing failure keeping a positive mindset is what you have to do to.

I just feel that people take failure as thats how life is going to be and motivation is one of their problems. They lack the motivation to do anything about it.

 

[bigneil]

This relates to Louis and Copeland's quote: "Rejection is the key to sexual prosperity".

In other words, if you're not getting shot down, you're not trying hard enough. And if you don't care about the women who dump you, they weren't hot enough.

It's the same in your career.

Let the pain of rejection fire you up. The most important thing is to be healthy, or use it as a reason to get healthy.

The worst people are the ones who claim that, because you failed (as they see it) in the past, that it's too late for you, you can never succeed in their eyes. Then if you do succeed and do the very things they swore you could never do, it proves them wrong so they can't accept it and will continue to find faults until their dying day.