Embarrassing problem

[christianlaitner]

Hello guys,

I have been to the forum a few times. I have an embarrassing problem that I need a solution for. I am 33 years old and a virgin.

Let me explain. In college I was the nerd. No matter how hard I tried, no matter what game I tried I got rejected over and over and over again. When I graduated I resolved to just be myself, work on myself, and not stress about getting laid. I met a lot of women, started dating alot but my nerves would always get the better of me.

I was really scared that once I had sex with the girl I would be horrible and finish in 2 seconds. I mean how do I explain to a girl that I like that I am a virgin? Sex & physical chemistry is so important in relationships. I can't date at this stage because at some point sex is going to happen and no woman is going to want to sleep with me after foreplay (my inexperience will show). The problem has just been going on and on for years, snow balling into this massive albatross around my neck that I cant get rid of.

I'm not sure what to do or if there is any hope for me. I want to be like you guys, have that kind of a life but I am so far behind it seems like I'll never catch up. What do I do?

 

[scrouds]

Go find a hooker. Once you've removed the albatross from your neck, then you and work towards becoming the person you've always wanted to be.

 

[bmp2cpm]

It's not a complicated problem. You need a helpful woman who doesn't mind your situation. Get a helpful woman. Also, an overweight woman will be more available and receptive. Find an overweight, nurse or social worker and it's a done deal. Attract her, do the deed with her a few times and move on to better pastures.

 

[Findog]

I would post an ad on craigslist or be extremely up front in an okcupid or pof profile. Let them know you're a virgin and need to get laid. As long as you're not completely hideous, there's bound to be a subset of women that would be willing to take your virginity and "train" you.

 

[Jeffst1980]

This is one of those times where you'll just have to "fake it till you make it."

A lot of girls are going to recoil if you tell them that you're a virgin, so I wouldn't bring it up and, if asked, just lie. It's a harmless lie, and being honest, in this case, is going to turn a lot of women off.

Your inexperience won't necessarily show during foreplay, etc. Nature will take over if you don't overthink things. The first time with any new girl can be a little bit awkward, anyway.

 

[Mike32ct]

This is one of those times where you'll just have to "fake it till you make it."

A lot of girls are going to recoil if you tell them that you're a virgin, so I wouldn't bring it up and, if asked, just lie. It's a harmless lie, and being honest, in this case, is going to turn a lot of women off.

Your inexperience won't necessarily show during foreplay, etc. Nature will take over if you don't overthink things. The first time with any new girl can be a little bit awkward, anyway.

I didn't lose it until 28. As the resident late bloomer on SS, I endorse this post. If she questions it, you've been in a dry spell for a year or two. You've been working a lot and didn't have much time to date. But odds are, it won't come up.

Finally, a virgin guy finishing in two seconds is a cliche and a MYTH. I'm sooo sick of hearing that BS. Sorry to vent lol.

Odds are, you won't be able to c@m at ALL* your first time for the following reasons:

1. You'll be too nervous/uptight to "let it go."

2. Your body is trained to respond to your HAND because of years of whacking off. Intercourse with a condom is much LESS stimulation than your body is used to.

That's the bad news. The good news is you will go for a long time like a porn star and she'll love it.

*If a virgin guy does it raw, then yes, that's a lot of sensation and he might bust quickly. But with a condom, it's usually not an issue.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Drink a little bit of alchool and if you do anything wrong just blame it, it works for 2 reasons:

1) you know you are not gonna be accountable so you are more relaxed therefore you risk less to screw up

2)even if you screw up you'll get a second chance since it wasnt ur fault anyway

The extreme solution is do roids, yeah I said extreme for a reason, they will artificially turn you into a uber man both physically and mentally, and trust me when you have roids on you much sh1t you feel now disappear.
When you want to nail a woman as if the devil possess you, there is no room for insecurity or shyness.
However as I said this is the extreme solution, if you feel that this problem is hurting your mental health you can risk to hurt a little bit your physical one, just talk to a doctor before and dont tell him its because of women.

 

[Mike32ct]

Grip your junk firmly with your fist, then slowly enter. That improves your "aim" and keeps it firm enough to penetrate in case you aren't that hard.

Doggie style is easiest for beginners because you can see up close where to go. Missionary is second place for being easy to start with.

Girl on top is very awkward unless you are rock hard. Save that for later on.

 

[Atom Smasher]

It's not a complicated problem. You need a helpful woman who doesn't mind your situation. Get a helpful woman. Also, an overweight woman will be more available and receptive. Find an overweight, nurse or social worker and it's a done deal. Attract her, do the deed with her a few times and move on to better pastures.

Yes, but be sure to leave the cow in the old pasture!

 

[Atom Smasher]

OP, please don't tell me you used your real name. That makes you highly findable, you know. PM me if you want me to delete your account so you can start a new one if this is the case.

 

[disgustipated]

Not a big basketball fan are ya?

 

[Trump]

The same girl that laughs at you may not even be able to get into college, so don't give a girl all sorts of credit because she has experience and you don't. It only proves she knows how to use her body to get what she wants.

Second of all, if you are getting rejected over and over and over again, you are doing something fundamentally wrong. Could be your looks, your talk, your hobbies, your lack of social circle, something if not working for you and you have to figure out what that is.

By the sounds of it, you're so focused on sex that you are not even enjoying being with a girl or her company. If that's the case, you may want to consider paying for it as no girl, even if she is virgin, will feel comfortable with a nervous guy with one track mind.

 

[christianlaitner]

Thanks so much for all the encouragement & support. I never talked about this problem with my friends so it was good to finally tell someone.

From reading the posts the plan I am going to follow is:
Step One- Do things to make me feel good about myself (workout and actually stick to it. I'm 5' 5", 135-140lbs so it shouldn't be too hard to get into shape). New clothes, new haircut.

Step Two - Talk to as many women as possible. Let go of the fear.

Step Three - Pretend, even in my own head, that I am not a virgin and that I am just going through a long dry spell. Go slow and think about her pleasure.

I think and hope things will go naturally from there.

Thanks guys, I'm glad I came to you for help. I have been away from home (NY) for sometime. Once I get back, and I try this out I'll let you know how it went.

ps: To The Mod: the user name is not my real name.

 

[DanDaMan]

Tell your doctor you have erectile dysfunction and that you want a prescription for levitra. Take half a pill an hour or two before you expect to get laid. The thing about levitra is that it makes you last FOREVER. The reason why is because It makes you feel very insensitive down there as a side effect of how it works. You can just keep pumping forever. Also you won't have to worry about not being able to get it up due to anxiety. Do this and have no fear. It will work, and you will perform like a pornstar your very first time.

The downside is that sex won't feel nearly as pleasurable as without the drug. In fact I was disappointed with sex in general when I first used it (initially had problems getting it up due to extreme anxiety). Later on, when having sex without the aid of the drug, I was very surprised to find that it felt much much better. Also, sex seems to get exponentially better as you gain experience. As you learn to let your movements flow naturally, and let the moment overtake you. It becomes quite amazing. So just keep at it. Find a nice, ATTRACTIVE girl you're interpreted in, and just be playful and lighthearted with it all. Learn how to perform oral sex on the girl, and learn how to love it. Pay attention to the woman and connect to her. My first handful of times, I didn't last any longer than a few seconds. Fast forward a dozen more sessions, and I became a love-making machine. Didn't understand why I was so anxious and worried in the first place. Kinda like learning how to ride a bike I guess. First few tries are awkward and maybe even a little scary. After some practice, it all becomes very natural and carefree.

Anyways, if you need a crutch, use levitra. Trust me, it'll do the job. Just don't use it for long, and try to get yourself going without it as soon as possible, because I feel that it's dangerous to become reliant on it unless you genuinely have erectile dysfunction, like due to old age or something, and also sex on it feels quite bland. It also tends to make you do a lot of endless hard pumping, while natural sex seems to end up a bit different somehow.

Sex is a great way to connect to a woman you like. have fun!

 

[Mike32ct]

This is going to sound silly, but it's very important.

If you haven't already, practice putting condoms on.

It looks simple, but when the girl is lying there naked and watching you, you might feel a bit pressured and might fumble with it.

Sometimes, getting them fully unrolled on you is not so easy. Practice a few times next time you are taking care of business solo. Then, when you get with someone, you'll be smooth like you've done it before.

Nothing will spell virgin like a guy who can't open a condom or struggles to put it on.

 

[perseverance]

Putting on a condom isn't rocket science Mike, I'm sure putting a condom on will be the least of his worries.

There are videos on youtube which teach men how to put a condom on. Just take your time when putting one on and relax. If you rush to open the packet, you're more than likely going to damage the condom and when carrying condoms on you, never put them in your wallet as the constant bending and the heat a wallet generates damages the condom.