Emailing a coworker I'm interested in -- Opinions on her reply?

[-E-]

Hey all,

There is a girl here at work that I sort of like, but she's rather shy and doesn't talk a lot. I decided to email her today after talking to her at lunch to gauge interest, and I was hoping you guys could give me input as to what I should do next or where I might stand based on her reply?

I'm pretty confident in talking to her and emailing her, but I just wanted to get your thoughts.

Here is my email to her -


"Heya,

I know we don’t talk very often here at work, but I’d actually like to get to know you better. Would you like to chat sometime outside of work?

Oh, and thanks again for the loaner hot dog. "


And her response -


"Sure we can chat outside of work. It is a busy time for me right now..I am buying a house next week and am in 3 weddings coming up…so don’t be offended if I have to say no in the next few months."


Inside joke about the hot dog, don't ask... lol. But weeks ago when I was getting a group of people together to hit up a club after work on a Friday, she said she would like to go if her other plans fell through for that evening. They didn't so she didn't go, but still showed interest.

It's a bit hard for me to gauge her thoughts by her reply. What do y'all think? Any suggestions for a reply back?

Thanks guys!

 

[JCballin88]

To me, it doesn't look like she has much interest.

I could understand holding out some hope if she said "...in the next few weeks," but the fact that she mentioned months is not a good sign.

I'm sure buying a house can take a lot of extra time and energy, and girls DO put a big emphasis on being in weddings. But with that being said, I think if she really did have interest in hanging out with you she would be able to scrape together an hour or so for coffee or whatever.

 

[Tiguere]

Her answer is not convincing. You aren't asking her to join you in a week long vacation. You just wanna talk to her in her own time. She probably got someone else and wants to put you on the backburner for now.

I would reply with...

Awwww that's too bad. Congrats on the house though. See you around.

 

[-E-]

Thanks for the input. I'm actually kinda confused as to what that line even means "Don't be offended if I have to say no in the next few months." Say no to what, chatting on the phone? Does she mean if I call her she might not be able to talk at any given time over these next few months?

Regardless, I'm working up a reply and will post it and any reply here.

 

[falconslax89]

dude...no need to "work up a reply.."

a simple "no big deal" will do...

i wouldnt even reply to that b!tch

 

[ARrocket]

In my opinion, I think you need to take charge more and be more specific. You want to talk to her outside of work, so invite her for coffee on so and so day, not just "talk sometime," that's way too vague. Set up something concrete, woo her, and go from there!

 

[Kailex]

"Sure we can chat outside of work. It is a busy time for me right now..I am buying a house next week and am in 3 weddings coming up…so don’t be offended if I have to say no in the next few months."

Don't reply back.
At least not today...

That small fragment at the end of that sentence gave you all the info you need. She basically said NO without really having to say NO.

I would suggest NOT bringing it up again.

You should just go out of the workplace and find other women to date. Do NOT let this situation be awkward for you.

The good news is you tried and you got rejected SOFTLY, which means try again in maybe... 6 months just for kicks.

But for now, leave it alone. She's definitely not interested right now. 3 Weddings and a House sounds like the premise for a movie, but I bet it doesn't mess up with her watching Desperate Housewives on the weekend. Just make sure to NOT ask her again for now, no matter how good she might look one day, and how she might smile to you from now on.

Thanks for the input. I'm actually kinda confused as to what that line even means "Don't be offended if I have to say no in the next few months." Say no to what, chatting on the phone? Does she mean if I call her she might not be able to talk at any given time over these next few months?

Regardless, I'm working up a reply and will post it and any reply here.

I don't see what's so confusing about it.
She said NO. She said no to going out which is what she assumes you were trying to do.
DO NOT ask her what she is saying NO to, because that's exactly what she was trying to avoid doing... she was putting you down softly.

And yes, saying we should "chat some time after work" is such a weak line.
Next time you tell someone you are going somewhere concrete at such and such time and you want her to go with you.

Chatting after work is what she does when she calls her girl friends up to talk about the latest advances in maxi pads.

 

[-E-]

Okay thanks guys. I know I need to be more straightforward and have a plan, I suppose I was treading softly due to the whole "co-worker" thing. Don't worry though, I didn't send a reply yet and I'm not going to now.

I can see what you're saying about being let down softly. Good enough for me, so I'll completely next her and move on. My main goal was to gauge interest which I now did. So.... NEXT!!

There's a nice HB7.5 working at Kroger that I plan on approaching tonight, so we'll see how that goes. Fall off the horse and get right back on, amirite?

Thanks again!

 

[Donnie Darko]

Don't ask a girl out via e-mail. Either ask her in person or by calling her and talking to her on the phone.