Email Game @ Work

[SoulStarMan]

So... a girl I trained on a course a couple of weeks back emailed me today, saying how much she enjoyed meeting me and how I was a great guy etc.

What suggestions can you make taking this forward. The last time I played this game at work was some time ago now and with a girl I knew pretty well.

She's a 21yo Asian 8, classy dresser, sexy body, shy and quiet.

 

[reset]

No emails at work (or even not at work. Email kills attraction). If you HAVE to reply (here you should) wait awhile and simply say something like "thanks!". Also if she calls you, keep convos extremely short and professional.

Let her physically pursue you. If she tries to get you on her facebook or myspace or anything, don't. Stay away from that stuff. You and I as men can talk over the internet and it makes for good discussion. It doesn't make for attraction with a woman however.

At work, it's ALL on her. There's a double standard for men and women. If any moves are to made, they will be made by her. And if she is interested, she WILL arrange to be with you. She will probably start by finding completely lame excuses to "get your help" with something, or to ask you questions that she easily could figure out on her own.

Then it's most likely she'll pursue you in a "safe circumstance", meaning she'll probably arrange lunch with you and some co-workers, so there is little pressure on her (and you) and it doesn't feel like a "date".

Over time, if she treats you with good behavior, consistently (good luck with this one) and does not literally freak out that you won't pursue her, is when you have a better idea of what she is like as a person, and can make a better choice if she's worth risking your career or work reputation over.

That's ONE WAY to do this. The OTHER way, is the "I don't give a ****", chase her around, try to (or do) hook up with her, and then deal with the explosion of drama and insanity that happens if something doesn't go right.

Be careful with this stuff.

 

[squirrels]

So... a girl I trained on a course a couple of weeks back emailed me today, saying how much she enjoyed meeting me and how I was a great guy etc.

What suggestions can you make taking this forward. The last time I played this game at work was some time ago now and with a girl I knew pretty well.

She's a 21yo Asian 8, classy dresser, sexy body, shy and quiet.

E-mail her in a couple of days and invite her out to lunch.

But remember the dangers of "fishing off the company pier".

 

[Mr. Me]

You know the hazards of dipping your pen in the company ink, right? When you consider that most hookups or relationships don't last, and that if she gets angry with you at the end, she could get you fired or sued for harassment. Or,a superior of yours has his eye on her and undermines you out of jealousy. Or at the very least, you both still have to work together after things have soured, or she spreads word around the office how you were the bad guy and co-workers now treat you as persona non grata.

But I also wanted to point out that maybe, just maybe, the reason she's saying you're such a great guy is because she's kissing a$$ for personal gain. So just keep it to business, whether it's in the office or at lunch, until her agenda is clearer to you.

I knew a married guy who owned a company, had hired a very attractive, seemingly good girl, receptionist. After a couple of months, he hosted a pool party for his employees and she cornered him in the pool and grabbed his crotch and said she wanted to blow him. His instinct told him that this wasn't about attraction, this was about her trying to get her claws in him, and he wasn't going to risk his marriage or his assets on this b!tch. He fired her on the spot.

 

[reset]

SOMETIMES... (sometimes) these office relationships work out. You would think you are getting a great chance to really see what someone is like. Only problem is, you get to see what someone is really like.

 

[Mr. Me]

Yeah and sometimes you can survive a ten story fall, but I wouldn't recommend trying it.

 

[reset]

Lol. I don't mean dating the chick, I mean just sort of observing how she treats you at work. I've noticed when you don't chase them like they expect, they freak out.

This leads you to be glad that you DIDN'T chase after them. So being a challenge in this scenario served it's purpose: her walls come down, she shows what she's made of, and you've avoided a big headache.

 

[Mr. Me]

Repeat after me:
What is the Law?
We never chase.
We are always a challenge.
Are we not Men?

Anyhow... she's new on the job and 21 years old. I'd be wary of her attention.

 

[reset]

Damn straight.

Being a challenge is great. But some chicks just can't handle it. It kind of sucks to see a girl that otherwise you would like just destroy her chances, pushing you away by trying to pull you closer.

"Hey, I'll be a drama queen! That'll work!" <--no, it won't.

It's good being a Man.

 

[SoCalMike]

like the others have said, let her chase you if she's really that interested. but hooking up with a 21 yo coworker is generally a very bad idea. think about it: she's 21. in all likelihood it won't end in a successful LTR.

the most likely scenario is you will fvck, or date for while, then things will go bad because she' not mature/ready for a LTR. then she will talk trash about you at work, or if she's crazy, she may do worse like try sexual harassment charges, or sabotage your job in other ways.

or, maybe she'll dump you, then you'll have to see the girl who dumped you every day... nice thought eh?

i dated a coworker once. it was awful. even when things were good, i didn't want to see her at work yet i had to. it distracted me and hurt my performance. and then, when i broke up with her, it was even more awkward because we had to interact at work and she was being emotional. everyone saw what was going on and it was very embarrassing.

 

[SoulStarMan]

Thanks for all the responses so far guys. It seems most tell a cautionary tale!
It's not too bad from a work point of view for the following reasons.
We work at different offices. Thus it's not an everyday thing as I haven't seen her since the course. I don't imagine she's doing it for "personal gain" as someone suggested, as being honest sleeping or simply flirting with me isn't going to get you anywhere. I know I'm kinda big news but I'm not that important really! lol
Also I'm not looking to her for any LTR action, just a bit of fun maybe.

 

[CHICAGO27]

Stay Away!

It's too dangerous my friend. I was debating the same thing not a long time ago and I decided to totally abort any plans of pursuing. There are just too many things that can go wrong. I work in a place with a TON of attractive woman. Yeah, it sucks but you know, my nice paycheck I get every two weeks outweighs the temptation.
If and IF is a big IF someone at work truly likes you, give it six months and see if she is genuine and then consider, but I agree with the other guys are saying here, stay away.

 

[Mr. Me]

I don't imagine she's doing it for "personal gain" as someone suggested, as being honest sleeping or simply flirting with me isn't going to get you anywhere.

I guess that would me who suggested that aspect. Look, you're assuming that she's probably not doing this for personal gain, and you may be right, but you don't really know what she's thinking. In her mind, she may see you as some sort of big fish, rising star, stepping stone or someone who has the connections, after all, you were in charge of the training session, you're obviously not the mail boy. I'm saying, take the patience and time and observe to make her agenda distinctly clear to you instead of assuming that she's romantically interested.

That she works in a separate office is good, in that, when the relationship sizzles out, as odds dictate it will, at least you won't be seeing her every day. All the other bad crap is still a possibility. You have no idea what her true character is like, she's new on the job and has her best face on.

 

[COD]

emails at work are monitored, so keep it short and professional.

Hey lets grab some lunch

thats it.........

and to that guy who said emails kill attraction...........TOTAL NON SENSE

 

[bukowski_merit]

emails at work are monitored, so keep it short and professional.

Hey lets grab some lunch

thats it.........

and to that guy who said emails kill attraction...........TOTAL NON SENSE

i agree...
the only way emailing, texting, myspacing, kills attraction is if you're a boring @ss no wit person...

i have built plenty of attraction through emailing... i would say - woman are more likely to reveal their feelings for you early on through email...

i'm labeled an "office player" above anything else... any attractive girl that comes through the door gets warned about me... and i sex or date over half of them... it does get tricky, and i have almost lost my job a few times... but it defintely keeps work life interesting... if you think you can keep up with it and tread company water - go for it... if not - don't risk it...

shy woman are MUCH MUCH MUCH more likely to reveal feelings for you through email...