Dumping my 1+ year gf

[oldspice891]

Hey guys,

When I first joined this forum, I was so nervous to pursue things farther than just friends. I had a fear of sex. I didn't lose my virginity til I was 23.

Then I gained some confidence and got a girlfriend. If you read my past posts, she helped me overcome my fear of sex and impotence issues. I still have them, but not as bad as before. So I lost my virginity and have been in a relationship for almost 1 and a half years. Truth is, she is pretty attractive. But she has issues and I was able to get deep with her and connect with her. That's how I got her.

I feel bad that it is to this point, but I want out. I'm losing free time to pursue my passions in life. She's pretty much crazy. It's not her fault..her parents are that way, so I get why.

Looking back there were a LOT of red flags, but I wanted to experience sex and having a girlfriend.

I feel sad because we've built a lot. We're best friends. We hang out all the time and have so much fun. But all the times we argue man...it just boggles me down.

My main reasons for breaking up:
1) Free time - I want to put in more time into my music. I'm 24 and don't want to be thinking what if? I've had some good opportunities to move forward but I need to put more time in it. It is what I want to do in my life.
2) Boredom - Honeymoon phase is over. We still have fun and she does a lot of things that are cute and make me smile, but yeah, not as fun as in the beginning.

It's sad because she loves me and is way more into me. I feel bad that I will hurt her. She's my first girlfriend, love, sex partner and I cherish the memories we have built together.

Anyone that has been in this position have any tips? I know I know, it's just the first...but still...it just sucks and it's just sad. That's all.

 

[Jair213]

and why the hell would you be impotent at such a young age? go to your doctor and get you testosterone levels check or you might have performance anxiety

ive bein there man its not worth it she will cause you much more pain in the long run, move on

 

[Redempti0n]

ive bein there man its not worth it she will cause you much more pain in the long run, move on

Can confirm. People broken by their parents are beyond repair 99% of the times.

 

[whatwg]

IMO Tell her you love your music and you're going to spend less time with her. Of course you'll still need to see her every 1-2 weeks.

OR, do AFC things to scare her away. Tell her you love her every morning and night, ask her out even more than you do now. Buy her a lot of flowers. Maybe she'll get tired of you and initiate break up, then you can walk away guilt-free.

 

[Purefilth]

Can confirm. People broken by their parents are beyond repair 99% of the times.

Welcome to my world.

@OP. Those two reasons are the forefront of my own reasons to break off a reationship.
That and those little fights that start up...

 

[MM92]

Can confirm. People broken by their parents are beyond repair 99% of the times.

I can vouch for that with my ex

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

I feel bad that it is to this point, but I want out. I'm losing free time to pursue my passions in life. She's pretty much crazy. It's not her fault

Stop perpetuating the above nonsense. That type of mentality is the reason why women can act like adult children and get away with it.

Knock it off. Everyone is accountable for their own actions, regardless of circumstance.

Let's treat adults like adults.

 

[pdx1138]

Think it through before you break up with her.

Are you ok with being single for the foreseeable future?
Sometimes getting another lady is easy, sometimes you end
up in a massive dry spell.

Is it really that bad? Can you communicate you need some "me time?"

You might end up regretting it if you don't ponder these things.

 

[Purefilth]

Think it through before you break up with her.

Are you ok with being single for the foreseeable future?
Sometimes getting another lady is easy, sometimes you end
up in a massive dry spell.

Is it really that bad? Can you communicate you need some "me time?"

You might end up regretting it if you don't ponder these things.

I was under the impression that we teach the new guys here to BECOME comfortable in their own skin and find happiness within themselves.

Do YOU worry about being single? Are you scared of being alone? If OP has identified a place where he is unhappy and chosen a route to change that, then he is miles ahead of many here.

Allow him to make his own decision. It has no affect on you whatsoever if he chooses to be single. So dont make the poor lad second guess his gut feeling.


Peace.


Edit for below. I have too, 2 of them in fact, but I don't regret dropping them. I had fun with both and now their time is up. I understand what your point is, I just choose to look forward and leave the past behind me.

 

[pdx1138]

You have a good point, but I stand by my words.

I lost a great girl once because of thinking too much about the grass being greener.

Thats my point.

 

[Vidrio]

Just dump her. If the shoe were on the other foot she wouldn't hesitate to dump you.