DUMPED over a month ago - Cant seem to shake this sense of loss

[BeTheChange]

Cliff notes

Dumped by HB8/HB9.

Beginning to recognise it's going to be very difficult to replace her with someone of equivalent attractiveness. She has a body type which I go crazy for but is extremely rare (mediterranean, big ass, big legs small waist, slim arms and shoulders due to over 20 years of karate). Think Kim K but not fake and more toned.

Didn't cheat on me, mistreat me, etc. Dumped me due to my poor behaviour. It was the right decision for her given my state at the time. If she had been a h0e or a bad gf it would be easier to move on. I'm glad it happened because I've turned a negative into a positive and embarked on a lot of change that wouldn't have happened if we had stayed together. However it doesn't make the loss any easier to handle.

I have plates but they aren't on the same level and because of this they do nothing for me beyond distraction. For anyone who follows my wealth & success thread it's apparent that I chase the best I can get in all walks of life - career, finances, experiences. A small part of me wishes I could be satisfied with a 7 but it just ain't happening.

I'm a confident guy, but I'm also ruthlessly honest with myself and right now I don't think I can pull, with consistency, women at my ex's level of attractiveness.

I'm looking for solutions really.


Possible solutions

Gaining size. Let myself go a bit body-wise and lost a lot of weight. I was 153lbs and 5'9 when I weighed myself on Monday. I have an Abercrombie and Fitch model look. Something like this. Which means that unless I'm naked or wearing a tight t-shirt you can't really tell that I lift. Was probably around 160 lbs when I met my ex. I peaked at a lean, 170 lbs with 8 pack, six years ago. It was a completely different world. Instant respect from guys , much easier to get women in the club environment. Seems like an obvious place to start since its in my direct control. Aiming for 175 lbs, lean in 3-5 months. Would be God mode for my height.

Instagram. I can already see the disapproving headshakes, but I've heard from a few mates who understand the game that instagram has merit. Caveat. You need to have at least 1000 followers to really display "value". Your posts need to show either brilliant aesthetics, wealth or an outrageous lifestyle (travel, partying, etc.) and ideally your page should have a theme. I don't want to deplete my bank account so will focus more on the first and less on the other two, although all three are necessary. Have 200 authentic followers at the moment so will probably need to pay for fake ones. From speaking to my guy mates who do well from it, paying for followers is very common.

You can talk about cold approach, but beyond socially acceptable venues like bars and clubs that's just not how the game works in the 21st century. Game is not enough for these 8s and 9s. They need to be able to see your value. I'm not saying cold approaching doesn't work but IME it hasn't granted me a lot of success in this metropolitan city.

 

[lamath]

You need time
after an other few month you will be all right

 

[Murk]

You need to meet a new girl and catch some feels bro, new feels always help you get over old feels.

Our heart literally deals only in one thing at time

 

[Spaz]

How can someone possibly be confident in something they don't understand yet ?

 

[BeTheChange]

You need to meet a new girl and catch some feels bro, new feels always help you get over old feels.

Our heart literally deals only in one thing at time

Missing the point of the thread. I have plates. One I've seen twice a week for the last 5/6 weeks. She has caught the feels. I haven't and won't. I literally cannot catch the feels for anything below an 8 without a nice ass and a tight body.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Cliff notes

Dumped by HB8/HB9.

Beginning to recognise it's going to be very difficult to replace her with someone of equivalent attractiveness. She has a body type which I go crazy for but is extremely rare (mediterranean, big ass, big legs small waist, slim arms and shoulders due to over 20 years of karate). Think Kim K but not fake and more toned.

Didn't cheat on me, mistreat me, etc. Dumped me due to my poor behaviour. It was the right decision for her given my state at the time. If she had been a h0e or a bad gf it would be easier to move on. I'm glad it happened because I've turned a negative into a positive and embarked on a lot of change that wouldn't have happened if we had stayed together. However it doesn't make the loss any easier to handle.

I have plates but they aren't on the same level and because of this they do nothing for me beyond distraction. For anyone who follows my wealth & success thread it's apparent that I chase the best I can get in all walks of life - career, finances, experiences. A small part of me wishes I could be satisfied with a 7 but it just ain't happening.

I'm a confident guy, but I'm also ruthlessly honest with myself and right now I don't think I can pull, with consistency, women at my ex's level of attractiveness.

I'm looking for solutions really.


Possible solutions

Gaining size. Let myself go a bit body-wise and lost a lot of weight. I was 153lbs and 5'9 when I weighed myself on Monday. I have an Abercrombie and Fitch model look. Something like this. Which means that unless I'm naked or wearing a tight t-shirt you can't really tell that I lift. Was probably around 160 lbs when I met my ex. I peaked at a lean, 170 lbs with 8 pack, six years ago. It was a completely different world. Instant respect from guys , much easier to get women in the club environment. Seems like an obvious place to start since its in my direct control. Aiming for 175 lbs, lean in 3-5 months. Would be God mode for my height.

Instagram. I can already see the disapproving headshakes, but I've heard from a few mates who understand the game that instagram has merit. Caveat. You need to have at least 1000 followers to really display "value". Your posts need to show either brilliant aesthetics, wealth or an outrageous lifestyle (travel, partying, etc.) and ideally your page should have a theme. I don't want to deplete my bank account so will focus more on the first and less on the other two, although all three are necessary. Have 200 authentic followers at the moment so will probably need to pay for fake ones. From speaking to my guy mates who do well from it, paying for followers is very common.

You can talk about cold approach, but beyond socially acceptable venues like bars and clubs that's just not how the game works in the 21st century. Game is not enough for these 8s and 9s. They need to be able to see your value. I'm not saying cold approaching doesn't work but IME it hasn't granted me a lot of success in this metropolitan city.

I understand to some degree what you are dealing with. If god put together the most physically attractive woman for me, it was my ex girlfriend. And for a while, it was like “I’ll never be with another woman as perfectly attractive to me as she was”.

Have you considered spinning plates with sixes or sevens who have one of the physical features that turn you on? So you might wind up with 3 plates, each of them having something physically appealing that the other doesn’t have. Having That type of variety on different nights of the week can work.

Also, is this all about what works for you only or are you status conscious about how the woman on your arm looks to other people? It sounds like you might be a little hung up on that.

-Augustus-

 

[Murk]

Missing the point of the thread. I have plates. One I've seen twice a week for the last 5/6 weeks. She has caught the feels. I haven't and won't. I literally cannot catch the feels for anything below an 8 without a nice ass and a tight body.

Missing the point of my post d!ckhead. FEELS, you dont catch feels from plates, simple sex isn't gonna get you over this, feeling things for another woman will, di!ckhead.

 

[BeTheChange]

Missing the point of my post d!ckhead. FEELS, you dont catch feels from plates, simple sex isn't gonna get you over this, feeling things for another woman will, di!ckhead.

Every woman is a plate. Hot plates give me feels. Sub HB8 plates don't. Come back when you've got more experience.

 

[BeTheChange]

I understand to some degree what you are dealing with. If god put together the most physically attractive woman for me, it was my ex girlfriend. And for a while, it was like “I’ll never be with another woman as perfectly attractive to me as she was”.

Have you considered spinning plates with sixes or sevens who have one of the physical features that turn you on? So you might wind up with 3 plates, each of them having something physically appealing that the other doesn’t have. Having That type of variety on different nights of the week can work.

Also, is this all about what works for you only or are you status conscious about how the woman on your arm looks to other people? It sounds like you might be a little hung up on that.

-Augustus-

Status is irrelevant. I only care what makes me want to fvck these girls brains out and then want to spend time with them after sex. Both elements have to be there. In fact many of my friends didn't think my ex was out of this world hot because they prefer the skinny, no ass, petite type of chicks.

Lack of attraction to HB 6s and 7s has more to do with my self value and my awareness of my own potential. I couldn't be happy even if I tried. It's like asking a guy with a Harvard MBA to be content flipping burgers at Five Guys. An extreme example but you get the point.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Status is irrelevant. I only care what makes me want to fvck these girls brains out and then want to spend time with them after sex. Both elements have to be there. In fact many of my friends didn't think my ex was out of this world hot because they prefer the skinny, no ass, petite type of chicks.

Lack of attraction to HB 6s and 7s has more to do with my self value and my awareness of my own potential. I couldn't be happy even if I tried. It's like asking a guy with a Harvard MBA to be content flipping burgers at Five Guys. An extreme example but you get the point.

Like a bony girl with a negative bony ass?

 

[BeTheChange]

This is rebound stage bargaining talk(consider how many women you've dated that were on the rebound btw and how they behaved). We have all been there. When you're rebounding everyone is being compared to the ex. When you're not, everyone is being compared with your true desires, which shouldn't be as purely superficial(and artificially high) in that state. You will even want someone who is the opposite of your ex in many respects, especially the negative attributes. It will be a lot easier to move. You'll see the looks oneitis as kiddie stuff, it doesn't even translate to a happy relationship or even better sex half the time.

Even if you found what you're looking for you wouldn't be addressing this matter at the root, which is basing your validation on women.

I'm not saying that if you WERE to find someone much better than her it wouldn't help. It would especially temporarily but you will not be in the right frame of mind. You need to give yourself time to be alone. You haven't given yourself enough of that yet for a pretty long relationship by today's standards. Think back to a time when you were utterly alone but still happy. That's the goal in reality. Beat the addiction to validation.

Not everything has to be about validation. You're over thinking this or projecting. Take my words at face value. I am simply looking for the most effective means to secure a HOT chick. My standards have got higher as my value has increased but the type of girl I like has been pretry consistent for the last 5 years.

Go back to my NC posts in 2016 and you'll see the type of girl I described as an ideal is my current ex (more than a year before I met her). And my BPD ex who I was hung up on at the time was nothing like the ideal I described. I have a type which is in heavy demand and I'm seeking practical solutions to get those chicks. Nothing more than that.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Not everything has to be about validation. You're over thinking this or projecting. Take my words at face value. I am simply looking for the most effective means to secure a HOT chick. Nothing more than that.

Secure her means shes into you submitting to you and not entertaining others.

 

[BeTheChange]

You are talking about shaking your sense of loss and replacing your loss with a new woman.

Lose something of value so replace it with something of equivalent value or better. Some people get it. Some people don't.

 

[Chi Town]

I don't get the problem? Dumped by a hot girlfriend? Ok, so go get another one

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Status is irrelevant. I only care what makes me want to fvck these girls brains out and then want to spend time with them after sex. Both elements have to be there. In fact many of my friends didn't think my ex was out of this world hot because they prefer the skinny, no ass, petite type of chicks.

Lack of attraction to HB 6s and 7s has more to do with my self value and my awareness of my own potential. I couldn't be happy even if I tried. It's like asking a guy with a Harvard MBA to be content flipping burgers at Five Guys. An extreme example but you get the point.

Well there’s one thing we agree on. I don’t like the skinny ones either. Not much of a Boner factor there.

-Augustus-

 

[BeExcellent]

Be patient. Keep your eyes open. Yes getting your size back will help...but the kind of women you prefer aren't everywhere. And that's Ok.

Keep occupied with your plates & be patient & get back on point physically.

Don't sacrifice your standards in the meantime any more than you already have with your placeholder plates. Just be kind when you break it off in time. That's the humane thing to do.

All the best, BE

 

[Chi Town]

Be patient. Keep your eyes open. Yes getting your size back will help...but the kind of women you prefer aren't everywhere. And that's Ok.

Keep occupied with your plates & be patient & get back on point physically.

Don't sacrifice your standards in the meantime any more than you already have with your placeholder plates. Just be kind when you break it off in time. That's the humane thing to do.

All the best, BE

I have noticed some of your post on a few threads and I must say I'm quite impressed, keep it up sweetheart, you definitely seem to be able to hold your own amongst men.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Work out, spin plates

 

[ohrein]

I don't think I can pull, with consistency, women at my ex's level of attractiveness.

This is your problem. Mindset is EVERYTHING. If you've been with a 9 before, you can do it again. I treat women like weights. Once I've lifted a certain quality of woman, I know I can do it again, so I go heavier (metaphorically). Every girlfriend I've had has been progressively better looking and had a better personality. That said, I'm also always improving so I know a year into this relationship I am even higher value than when I attracted my girlfriend.

Fix the mindset, keep improving, spin plates.

 

[BeTheChange]

This is your problem. Mindset is EVERYTHING. If you've been with a 9 before, you can do it again. I treat women like weights. Once I've lifted a certain quality of woman, I know I can do it again, so I go heavier (metaphorically). Every girlfriend I've had has been progressively better looking and had a better personality. That said, I'm also always improving so I know a year into this relationship I am even higher value than when I attracted my girlfriend.

Fix the mindset, keep improving, spin plates.

Disagree. My mindset is fine. I know myself and my value. I can't pull 9s with consistency right now because I am not a 9 to most women. That is a fact. Value attracts value. Do I have the potential to be a 9 to a wider range of women? Absolutely. But I'm not there yet. Acknowledging one's current SMV is not a sign of a lack of confidence but maturity and is superior to simple irrational self confidence (false game). Acknowledge where you are now and find ways to improve if needed to get the desired results.

It's all about value. It's not complicated.