Dumped on New Year 2: Electric Boogaloo

[Wickston1488]

Hey, my first post on here - sorry it's quite long.

Recently I read "Rational Male" by Rollo Tomassi, and it changed for the better after a really rough time at the hands of one particular girl a few months ago. Since then I've been spinning plates and things were going great.

Recently started to have a favorite plate, who I actually enjoyed hanging out with a well as the sex. Recently I got ill and I stayed with her for a few days and she cooked and looked after me. She is a kind person and I warmed to her after being totally indifferent, but always said that she wasn't one to be crossed.

On on the evening of 30/12/14 I went looking for her in a large street party she said she would meet me at. I'd had a really bad day and needed a pick me up, but every time she said she would meet me at some place she would move before I got there (she was with a female friend). I got angrier and angrier till I texted her to **** off and said I was leaving. I saw her a few minuted later and she seemed bemused, I said a few words then left, with her looking confused. She sent a few texts expressing concern and hoping I got home safe.

We met for coffee yesterday and cleared things up, I explained I was having a bad day and took my anger out on her disproportionately. She was worried when I said coffee that I was going to tell her I didn't want to see her again, but I laughed and told her not at all. We left on good terms that day and things seemed fine.

However I get home, and trying to to get some rapport going text her "oh btw, I forgot to say I never want to see you again haha".

She responds with "Took the words right out my mouth by *******"

I thought she was kidding and replied "Touche" and asked if her other female friend had turned up for the day. Then I said "You know I was kidding right?"

Then out of nowhere I get "wtf you just told me to **** off yesterday and basically say the same things now? You on your period? Cause you have more mood swings than a pregnant chick?!"

Followed by "Well.....my previous text may answer that :$"

Panicking slightly I reply "I WAS KIDDING! I don;t have mood swings, just the odd lapse of control. Glad things are all good between us now though" (I have no idea if she's **** testing me or not)

Blundering on I try and regain the frame and send "Anyway I have lots of special things in store for the next few weeks, so stick around or my attention may wander..."

And then the last thing she sent me was "Your attention may wander dear. That jokes not funny and telling me to **** off well...so many expressions so little time. [bear in mind I thought we were good on this front] Have a wonderful New Year and please wander yourself off a cliff. **** your "special things", if you can even contemplate your attention wandering then your moral compass is so far up your ass it's coming you ****ty mouth. I'm done with you, wander away babe"

Hilarious as I am already starting to find that response now, last night I responded with "This is a complete misunderstanding, I haven't meant to be ****. Meet me and do this face to face we at least owe each other that much".

I'm considering implementing the No Contact challenge - thoughts on this, as I have already deleted her on facebook and snapchat. What I did wrong to loose a plate along with any analysis of her behavior would be appreciated.

 

[Thorninmyside]

If I can take a stab at it...

On on the evening of 30/12/14 I went looking for her in a large street party she said she would meet me at. I'd had a really bad day and needed a pick me up,
Starting with a needy frame of mind. Dependence on a plate was never gonna go well

but every time she said she would meet me at some place she would move before I got there (she was with a female friend). I got angrier and angrier
Acting out of emotion - leave that to the chicks. Blow it off next times and don't sweat the small stuff
till I texted her to **** off and said I was leaving
Next time just leave without the tantrum. Chat up other girls. You didn't consider your options.

I saw her a few minuted later and she seemed bemused, I said a few words then left, with her looking confused. She sent a few texts expressing concern and hoping I got home safe. You could have lightened the mood and sorted it right then. Point to the nearest elderly lady there and go "babe, 30 seconds longer and I was gonna go home with Mildred over there". Your exchange at this point seems like male/female role reversal.

We met for coffee yesterday and cleared things up, I explained I was having a bad day and took my anger out on her disproportionately.
You apologised. It's noble but you handed her the frame and showed her you care too much. A simple blowup didn't need a coffee date apology. Inviting to your place for a drink and some makeup sex would have been better.

She was worried when I said coffee that I was going to tell her I didn't want to see her again she was offering you the frame and you said "no thanks"., but I laughed and told her not at all. We left on good terms that day and things seemed fine. Good terms would have been exchanging fluids

However I get home, and trying to to get some rapport going text her "oh btw, I forgot to say I never want to see you again haha". Needy. Checking if you still have her.

She responds with "Took the words right out my mouth by *******"

I thought she was kidding and replied "Touche" and asked if her other female friend had turned up for the day. Then I said "You know I was kidding right?"

Then out of nowhere I get "wtf you just told me to **** off yesterday and basically say the same things now? You on your period? Cause you have more mood swings than a pregnant chick?!"

Followed by "Well.....my previous text may answer that :$"

Panicking slightly I reply "I WAS KIDDING! I don;t have mood swings, just the odd lapse of control. Glad things are all good between us now though" (I have no idea if she's **** testing me or not)never act on fear.

Blundering on I try and regain the frame and send "Anyway I have lots of special things in store for the next few weeks, so stick around or my attention may wander..." Back pedalling doesn't work. And the special things line came from a position of weakness and an attempt to save things whilst still firmly in her frame.

And then the last thing she sent me was "Your attention may wander dear. That jokes not funny and telling me to **** off well...so many expressions so little time. [bear in mind I thought we were good on this front] Have a wonderful New Year and please wander yourself off a cliff. **** your "special things", if you can even contemplate your attention wandering then your moral compass is so far up your ass it's coming you ****ty mouth. I'm done with you, wander away babe"The c&f routine was just really badly placed. You don't need rapport with a plate. You need banging.

Hilarious as I am already starting to find that response now, last night I responded with "This is a complete misunderstanding, I haven't meant to be ****. Meet me and do this face to face we at least owe each other that much". Neediness again. You're telling her you're prepared to put up with a chick who is a hothead and you'll submit for the sake of hanging on. She doesn't even have a hamster by this point.

I'm considering implementing the No Contact challenge - thoughts on this, as I have already deleted her on facebook and snapchat. What I did wrong to loose a plate along with any analysis of her behavior would be appreciated.

I don't think her behaviour was the issue. Girls will flake, be unreliable, throw sh*t tests, get moody etc. It's your reactions that make the difference.

Keep reading the threads around here and keep working. The game never stops.

 

[Thorninmyside]

+rep for the Breakdance 2 reference and for encouragement.

 

[dasein]

1. Cut out 99% of the texting, it's effeminate and kills attraction. Call on the phone and make plans voice to voice, then follow those plans and communicate mostly face to face. I can't emphasize this enough. It is the most common dating issue here and elsewhere. Don't play. Leave that to her GFs and orbiters. Needing a constant tether of "someone out there cares about me" is a feminine trait, not a masculine one.

2. When you have an established meeting place with a woman, and she's not there, go about your business and have fun there, or go elsewhere, or go home. Do whatever you like. It's not your job to play shepherd on the average flighty female. It's her job as an adult to keep her arrangements. If she doesn't, don't fret, don't pout, just downgrade the relationship/plate accordingly and keep cultivating other options.

3. In this specific situation, you messed up with the "f off" and she is leveraging that into a power game. Don't play. Apologize IN PERSON, once, without any "buts" or excuses, own it, and if she doesn't accept that, great, another LQ screened out. Good luck going forward.

 

[Greasy Pig]

I think she was looking for any excuse to end it. For her to act so indignant in this situation is not the actions of a woman who is passionately interested in you (any more).
Go NC and see if she reaches out. If she does, escalate straight to sex and if she backs out, go NC again.
Only a full apology and an offer to blow you will suffice for breaking NC.

 

[jurry]

Yes way too needy, you shouldnt have her taking care of you like your mother for days while youre sick. You shouldnt need her for a "pick me up". And then you got butthurt and looked even more desperate in the texts that followed.

Obviously its over, move on.

 

[Julian]

came in to say LOLd hard at thread title.

 

[Wickston1488]

UPDATE: she agreed to meet me tomorrow at 3pm if I still wanted. Opinions? Frankly I was going to let her stew for a while, and am planning seeing a friend instead. Also on the night I got this text I hooked up with a HB 8 blonde as the clock struck twelve so already feeling much better about myself.

 

[Blistex]

UPDATE: she agreed to meet me tomorrow at 3pm if I still wanted. Opinions? Frankly I was going to let her stew for a while, and am planning seeing a friend instead.

I think whatever you have going with this girl is doomed. It just looks like too much drama to me, and I think you have better options (or could probably get better than her). So I would drop her and move on.

However, if you are not willing to drop her, then I recommend following dasein's advice: "Don't play. Apologize IN PERSON, once, without any 'buts' or excuses, own it, and if she doesn't accept that, great, another LQ screened out."