Dumped GF of 2 years

[logicallefty]

Broke up with GF of 2 years last night. We have had our fights over the past months. I adjusted a few minor things on my end that I too felt I could do better on. She still insisted on living in the past.

We have neighbors all around us that party with each other and we had never been invited, until Saturday night. One invited us to a pool party. We went and I got the drunkest I have ever got in 10 years. Two neighbor guys walked me home because I couldn't walk. It was all good. Nothing bad happened.

Next morning she woke me up wanting to fight about it, told me I was an alchoholic. I told her I hadn't been that drunk in 10 years but she didn't care. We fought all day Sunday. Monday was better.

Tuesday night I just wanted to move on and be done. I invited her out to dinner and she went. We had a great time at dinner then went to one of my buddy's houses. Didn't drink there. Just hung out.

Last night I came home from work in a pretty good mood. I started talking to her about one of the neighbors that nobody on the street likes and said "I saw Mr. Neighbor at the gas station but I didn't speak to him. He looked angry and miserable.".

She replied "Just like you".

This just flipped the switch. We argued. I finally said "Well, if I am miserable then I am going to start getting rid of the things in my life that make me that way, starting with you".

I left and went to my parent's house. I texted her on the way and told her I was 100% done and she needed to start packing. She apologized and started back peddling.

This AM my mom said "wow, you look really good. You don't look so stressed out".. I guess that's my sign I made the right call. I think I did.

I told a couple people this AM and got two people to say "congratulations"

Edit:
Of course now she is doing what I have repeatedly asked her not to do. She is blowing up all over FB talking about our problems after we agreed we would not do that.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Great work OP. I'm just about ready to do the same thing. If a woman doesn't add happiness to your life or at least genuinely try to, it's not worth hanging in there.

 

[logicallefty]

Great work OP. I'm just about ready to do the same thing. If a woman doesn't add happiness to your life or at least genuinely try to, it's not worth hanging in there.

Thank you Sir. We have our times of happiness. I think she may be BPD. When she is in a good mood we have a great time and have some of the best laughs together (we both are into fart and toilet humor, a lot)

But when she is not in a good mood, she stresses me out. Even just being in the same room, she releases this stress vibe and I am uncomfortable.

It may take her a few weeks to get out. She doesn't have a lot of money or places to go. Last time we fought I tried to get her dad to take her and he sad "I love her but no way". My house is 5 bedroom, 3000 sq feet. So I think I can find somewhere to hide till she is gone.

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

I'm glad you did what you needed to do. It's a whole lot easier giving advice than listening to your own advice sometimes. Especially when you see those red flags. Every relationship has problems as there's no such thing as a perfect relationship. Measuring can be difficult, and prolonging the inevitable just wastes each others time.

You made a strong decision and I'm happy for you. I need to re-access my almost 3 year relationship today and have a talk with the gf about our own future.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

This AM my mom said "wow, you look really good. You don't look so stressed out".. I guess that's my sign I made the right call. I think I did.

I told a couple people this AM and got two people to say "congratulations"

Edit:
Of course now she is doing what I have repeatedly asked her not to do. She is blowing up all over FB talking about our problems after we agreed we would not do that.

This is the most interesting part to me. Did other people seem to note that she was causing you stress or that there was some kind of clear signal to them your relationship wasn't going so great?

Like others have said here, the fact that she's blowing up all over FB which you asked her not to air problems like this in public, to me shows you a side of her character you may not have seen at all before.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Lefty,
look a DJ has the confidence to move on and if he has Plates Spinning,does so fearlessly...If she makes you unhappy after two years...You know the rest...move on,if the Svex is good just Rightsize the relationship,if not move on Mate....Plenty of Fish in the Briny!

 

[logicallefty]

This is the most interesting part to me. Did other people seem to note that she was causing you stress or that there was some kind of clear signal to them your relationship wasn't going so great?

Like others have said here, the fact that she's blowing up all over FB which you asked her not to air problems like this in public, to me shows you a side of her character you may not have seen at all before.

Yeah they wondered, mostly because of all her posts on FB every single time we have a problem. On top of that relatives have stayed with me and she couldn't get along with any of them.

I have always told people that her and I have our issues but overall she is a better fit for me than my ex bigamist sociopath wh0re I was with until 2012, and she is.

This is pretty much the bottom line with her:

GOOD THINGS:
- Our sense of humor is alike. We have the best laughs.
- She never turns me down for sex (sometimes I do her actually)
- She does little things for me a lot
- She is not a cheater. I know for fact because I have hacked her stuff and checked.

BAD THINGS:
- She ignores the BIG important issues that I ask of her, ex: quit posting our business on FB
- She complains about EVERYTHING, ALL THE TIME. She is never happy with what she has.
- She nags me constantly about what I am doing when, and anytime I do something for someone else she gets mad and gripes that I don't do enough for her
- She blows her money on junk, then tells me I am a bad partner when I refuse to giver her money for stuff like gas that she needs
- She never admits her faults. Everything is always my fault no matter what
- She tells me I get stressed out too much, but again, the things I ask her to do to help me with my stress level she doesn't do

 

[Blargh]

This is pretty much the bottom line with her:

GOOD THINGS:
- Our sense of humor is alike. We have the best laughs.
- She never turns me down for sex (sometimes I do her actually)
- She does little things for me a lot
- She is not a cheater. I know for fact because I have hacked her stuff and checked.

BAD THINGS:
- She ignores the BIG important issues that I ask of her, ex: quit posting our business on FB
- She complains about EVERYTHING, ALL THE TIME. She is never happy with what she has.
- She nags me constantly about what I am doing when, and anytime I do something for someone else she gets mad and gripes that I don't do enough for her
- She blows her money on junk, then tells me I am a bad partner when I refuse to giver her money for stuff like gas that she needs
- She never admits her faults. Everything is always my fault no matter what
- She tells me I get stressed out too much, but again, the things I ask her to do to help me with my stress level she doesn't do

Wow. This makes me wonder if we have the same gf.

 

[The Duke]

lmfao :yes:

Wow. This makes me wonder if we have the same gf.

x2

 

[logicallefty]

lmfao :yes:


x2

:crackup:

Thanks for all of the input fellas. I appreciate it.

Just an update. I made a Google Spreadsheet with our personal property and then our names and YES or NO if we want it or not. Then told her we would make deals and compromise from there. As far as household items go we brought stuff in fairly equally so that's how I expect to bring stuff out.

She called my spreadsheet a game, childish, and immature. Said "I won't participate in that".

I also got he fired up cuz I had come cash in my safe at home. I took it. That burnt her up really bad. she's pi$$$$$ed..

 

[dasein]

Congratulations! Hope you get all the divvying stuff done quick and easy.

 

[Desdinova]

I made a Google Spreadsheet with our personal property and then our names and YES or NO if we want it or not. Then told her we would make deals and compromise from there. As far as household items go we brought stuff in fairly equally so that's how I expect to bring stuff out.

She called my spreadsheet a game, childish, and immature. Said "I won't participate in that".

Well, I guess all that 5hit is yours. Time for a garage sale.

 

[logicallefty]

Haha. Ive noticed that women HATE when their man gets drunk, they see it as weakness. Ive had two breakups pecipitated by that.

I wondered this. Because this is the first time she had ever seen me even close to this drunk.

This morning she left for work before me. I came upstairs to find every stinking light on. I texted her and said "you may want to get in the habit now of turning off lights behind you. I know you don't care about this now but when you start paying the electric bill in your new place you will".

We fought via text for a while. I got her to admit that she started the fight the other night, in a text, and she apologized again. I said "Thanks have a good day". Going NC now.

She texted me and said "you just love making me cry don't you". Has anyone else ever hears this line?? I have heard this other times before when I got her and she knew I got her.

 

[MtnMan]

good work dude, from reading through your past posts, you made the right choice. Now get out there and experience some much younger and fresher women.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Maybe the biggest red flag of all is that even her Father won't take her...

-Augustus-

 

[logicallefty]

@Augustus - Yes he and her get along but he has always kept his distance. He told me a long time ago "I know she is a handfull. You are good man for being with her". Not long before she started dating me she got stranded 4 hours away and she called her dad to come get her. He said "no".

@MtnMan - She is 41 and has all of her "hormonal woman gunk" removed. My mother, a 68yo retired nurse, said "wow with all of that crap removed (in my ex GF) you would think she would behave better".. Evidently they missed something in there. lol

 

[Kailex]

I've been reading your threads for a while... I'm NOT surprised.

I knew it'd be a matter of time before it came to a head and you'd have to ditch her. Keep it that way. She sounds terrible altogether.

That non-stop FB crapola is so so so so so bad.

 

[logicallefty]

I've been reading your threads for a while... I'm NOT surprised.

I knew it'd be a matter of time before it came to a head and you'd have to ditch her. Keep it that way. She sounds terrible altogether.

That non-stop FB crapola is so so so so so bad.

Yeah she is still posting sh!t on FB. My sister messaged her last night and said "stop being a drama queen". I haven't seen any of it cuz I ditched FB about a month ago and haven't looked back.

 

[The_411]

Broke up with GF of 2 years last night. We have had our fights over the past months. I adjusted a few minor things on my end that I too felt I could do better on. She still insisted on living in the past.

We have neighbors all around us that party with each other and we had never been invited, until Saturday night. One invited us to a pool party. We went and I got the drunkest I have ever got in 10 years. Two neighbor guys walked me home because I couldn't walk. It was all good. Nothing bad happened.

Next morning she woke me up wanting to fight about it, told me I was an alchoholic. I told her I hadn't been that drunk in 10 years but she didn't care. We fought all day Sunday. Monday was better.

Tuesday night I just wanted to move on and be done. I invited her out to dinner and she went. We had a great time at dinner then went to one of my buddy's houses. Didn't drink there. Just hung out.

Last night I came home from work in a pretty good mood. I started talking to her about one of the neighbors that nobody on the street likes and said "I saw Mr. Neighbor at the gas station but I didn't speak to him. He looked angry and miserable.".

She replied "Just like you".

This just flipped the switch. We argued. I finally said "Well, if I am miserable then I am going to start getting rid of the things in my life that make me that way, starting with you".

I left and went to my parent's house. I texted her on the way and told her I was 100% done and she needed to start packing. She apologized and started back peddling.

This AM my mom said "wow, you look really good. You don't look so stressed out".. I guess that's my sign I made the right call. I think I did.

I told a couple people this AM and got two people to say "congratulations"

Edit:
Of course now she is doing what I have repeatedly asked her not to do. She is blowing up all over FB talking about our problems after we agreed we would not do that.

You could have saved yourself the time the day after a party. You made a choice to get s-faced. It may not have been the best decision, but if a woman woke me up to argue about it the next morning. That would be it. That's completely disrespectful. She know you are feeling like crap and starts a fight? It shows she was more interested in her feelings being validated than for your well being.

 

[MOTU]

Well, I guess all that 5hit is yours. Time for a garage sale.

Fvckin'a! I am in need of some new Tupperware!