Dumped again so I'm back..Some ranting, some hard earned wisdom and some questions.

[In2theGame]

maybe i should give you guys some back story first on what happened. Didn't think that I actually would have to. Dated the ex for about a year and a half. She broke up with me on V-Day and went out with my best friend later that night. Brought him back to our shared one bedroom apartment to have sex with him while I was there. I would wake up in the middle of the night to her standing over me and looking through my text messages to see if there were any about her. To me, I wasn't being out of line at all.

My ex-friend even told me, "I'm surprised that you didn't kick the sh!t out of me that night."

It's all about HOW you carry off the "I don't give a sh!t" attitude as well. Afterwards, she chased me while still dating my (ex) friend.

- comic_relief

WHAT!?? man i would of been more heated than lava

 

[comic_relief]

WHAT!?? man i would of been more heated than lava

see? not overreacting to a perceived slight. Just moving on with my life and acting as I would to a friend that interrupted me during coitus.

oh yeah and she still wanted her presents for V-Day after we broke up :crackup:

- comic_relief

 

[Gro0ver]

when a woman you cared about leaves you it really puts the stress test to your metal and what you really are about and what you are not about. is all this **** you say you want to do or that you say or4 think you are true or is it window dressing.

Very true and i've been eager to find out just that.

 

[SoSuave666]

now granted, in hindsight i was not the man at that time i was when she met me, so i hold no serious grudges against her, i understand why it happened.

To me, this is the problem with the world today. Not to say that I don't see the logic behind the statement, but just the mere fact that there is NO accountability for women anymore...it kind of p!sses me off. I mean, just because you change a little bit means that it's ok for her to cheat? She doesn't have to try and work things out with you anymore, she can just move on to the next one? It's kind of ridiculous to think about.

I obviously don't know the back story here, but it seems like this thinking of remaining the perfect male for the entire relationship is something that resonates with a lot of posters here. Where is a woman's accountability in all this? If you broke up with her because of some PMS sh!t or because she was so volatile in her emotional states you would be considered scum. But if you act even a little AFC or whatever for a couple weeks, she is free to cheat. Unreal.

If you were high on drugs all the time though and depressive for a prolonged period of time, I would understand...not to the point of her cheating, but to the point of her leaving. Like I said, don't know the story, but the quote just kind of struck a bad chord with me.

 

[backbreaker]

To me, this is the problem with the world today. Not to say that I don't see the logic behind the statement, but just the mere fact that there is NO accountability for women anymore...it kind of p!sses me off. I mean, just because you change a little bit means that it's ok for her to cheat? She doesn't have to try and work things out with you anymore, she can just move on to the next one? It's kind of ridiculous to think about.

I obviously don't know the back story here, but it seems like this thinking of remaining the perfect male for the entire relationship is something that resonates with a lot of posters here. Where is a woman's accountability in all this? If you broke up with her because of some PMS sh!t or because she was so volatile in her emotional states you would be considered scum. But if you act even a little AFC or whatever for a couple weeks, she is free to cheat. Unreal.

If you were high on drugs all the time though and depressive for a prolonged period of time, I would understand...not to the point of her cheating, but to the poinit of her leaving. Like I said, don't know the story, but the quote just kind of struck a bad chord with me.

I went from an ambitious entrepreneur who was 165 pounds soak and wet who had all the confidence in the world to a 220 pound low self esteem guy who had no serious aim and was co dependant on her.

i mean, simply put i was not the guy she feel for when she met me and I ackolwege that. that's much healtiher than saying women are *****s and the scum of the earth. plus when you are honest about your faults, you fix them and don't make them again. that was the last time i ever had a woman just leave me like that and i was 22 at the time. i'm 29 now. so in the end, who is better off? the guy that says okay i could have done this better or the guy that goes on blaming women for his short comings? are there things she could have done better? sure, but i accecpt my responbility for what hand i played in our relationship; i wasn't the same. i didn't go tot he gym anymore, i had become complacent, some of it could not have been helped; my business burned me out and that's where a lot of the weight gain came from, but still. it is what it is. just wasn't meant to be.

also it was her leaving me that while it did kinda spirril me out fo control with the drugs, at the same time after that, it was the last straw in me giving up all my AFC tendencies and helping me to really get the DJ thing. Basically if she did not do what she did i woudl not have had the success with women i would eventually have and i woudl not be married to my loving wife today. why should i be mad at her? **** i should send her a royalty check. the same reason that depsite some of the **** and lies my oneitis put me through, i never can be mad at her. i would not be here today if not for that scorn. rightfully or wrongfully it drove me to become a better man.

Like the OP, when i got her, i was on this forum and doing things right. once i had her I left and thought i did not need it anymore. once i realized that sharp contrast in retrospect i never looked back.

i see her once in a blue moon when i am in ltitle rock, i'm happy for her. she knows she fvcked up, i don't have to tell her. but i don't have to hold a grudge against her either. we had some good times when it lasted, it just did not last. and to be honest i ended up with much better anyway.

 

[SoSuave666]

I went from an ambitious entrepreneur who was 165 pounds soak and wet who had all the confidence in the world to a 220 pound low self esteem guy who had no serious aim and was co dependant on her.

i mean, simply put i was not the guy she feel for when she met me and I ackolwege that. that's much healtiher than saying women are *****s and the scum of the earth. plus when you are honest about your faults, you fix them and don't make them again. that was the last time i ever had a woman just leave me like that and i was 22 at the time. i'm 29 now. so in the end, who is better off? the guy that says okay i could have done this better or the guy that goes on blaming women for his short comings? are there things she could have done better? sure, but i accecpt my responbility for what hand i played in our relationship; i wasn't the same. i didn't go tot he gym anymore, i had become complacent, some of it could not have been helped; my business burned me out and that's where a lot of the weight gain came from, but still. it is what it is. just wasn't meant to be.

i see her once in a blue moon when i am in ltitle rock, i'm happy for her. she knows she fvcked up, i don't have to tell her. but i don't have to hold a grudge against her either. we had some good times when it lasted, it just did not last. and to be honest i ended up with much better anyway.

Word word. Like I said: didn't know the situation. My point is that a lot of people don't hold women accountable in relationships anymore. If your life suffers drastic changes in the form of ballooning 60 pounds or doing drugs and losing ambition, that's one thing. Still doesn't give her the right to cheat. A lot of threads on here are a dude not understanding why a woman just up and left him out of the blue. Most cases is he simply backslid a bit or something to the like. These are not dumpable offenses in my book at least. I'm not woman hating at all because honestly if I were one of them in this day and age I would probably act the same way. Just a perspective on the way the world works. I guess that's why "game" is so important.

The great equalizer is age. They have an expiration date on their pu$$ies. There is no expiration date on a d!ck.

/done with thread hijack.

 

[backbreaker]

the biggest leap in my development of becoming a DJ so to speak was when i went from the "she just wasn't the right one" or "there are better girls out there" mantra that my mom spewed to me my entire life and realized EVERYTHING happened for a reason. I might not understand the reason or like the reason, but there is a reason.

 

[\O/]

the biggest leap in my development of becoming a DJ so to speak was when i went from the "she just wasn't the right one" or "there are better girls out there" mantra that my mom spewed to me my entire life and realized EVERYTHING happened for a reason. I might not understand the reason or like the reason, but there is a reason

This is where i'm starting to feel like i'm heading. I wanted it to be us, but i can see now that it just would never work and she could never make me truly happy. I think that I have put up with the negatives and the differences in our expectations and wishes in life because of the way she looks, and because it is very comfortable to have a "witness to your life" like someone here wrote. I love her good sides, but given that we have not been intimate and romantic for a while, those feelings are fading, and i'm starting to forget them. My life was pretty much "complete" to someone watching from the outside. Good job, great friends, great social life, decent economy and a beautiful girlfriend to top it of. Like i was "set". All i'm missing now is the girl, because the other stuff is still there and it's not that bad afterall Economy will get a dent, but that is just temporary i guess.

It's tough living together now even if it's only for 8 more days. She just feels like a totally different person. I don't even know if i like her personality anymore. She always complains and is in a sour mood. I'm a happy guy with a positive outlook on life, she is the opposite. I could only be half happy with her and even though she is probably up there as the most beautiful girl i could ever get, she is definitely not the best person for me personality wise.

It's always funny to see the switch from hot to cold when a girl decides to end a relationship. It has always fascinated and baffeled me. They are like jackyll and mr.hide. When they finally end it, it has already been over for months. And we are often pretty much in the dark. So our responses and behaviour is totally different because we are in different phases in the break up.

I found out after the break up that one of my loving sisters reaction to the news was, "yesss!" I really thought my family liked her, and most of them do, but i think they thought she was to quiet and boring for me. She is kinda shy, but i am a very extrovert person. I don't think they felt that she was making an effort and that they really got to know her, even after 4 years together and dozens of family dinners and gatherings. It is a signal to me that she was not the right girl for me, because none knows you like family knows you...

 

[The_411]

The action of cheating is all on the girl. Now thaat being said giving her the impetus to cheat is something every guy needs to be cognizant of because losing your power and not acting like a man will drive a woman into another mans arms faster than you can say whipped.

 

[Zarky]

I met the most beautiful and hot girl I have ever seen.

LOL this was your first mistake.

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife.