Dumb girl wants to be single, I'm an idiot

[Maxtro]

I sense a bit of learned self helplessness in the tone of your posts. Don't make other peoples issues regarding their lack of interest affect you. It is out of your hands, therefore move on.

Learned self helplessness? I've never heard of that. The explanations I'm finding are confusing, though I did just wake up.

It seems keeping this chic even just as a friend is causing more harm than good. What chic is going to be comfortable around you enough to drop her panties and show skin, when you come off as not even comfortable in your own skin?

I never understood the concept of being comfortable in my own skin. How could I possibly not be?

burn bridges. no. tourch them, so you can't possibly look back.

you only have a finite amount of time here on earth, don't spend it with a girl who doesn't want you.


okay, pretend i'm a smokin hot girl maxtro. i want you to in one paragraph, sale yourself to me. why should i date you over all these other ****s out there? what do you bring to the table? what do you have going for yourself?

Two girls ago, I burned the bridges and it wasn't a pretty site. There's no point in making this girl into an enemy.

And no, I'm not going to try and sell myself. Whatever I post will get torn apart and I know that I'm not highly valued. That's why I don't go after high value girls.

The only thing Maxtro needs to do is meet thousands of girls and go for the one that is interested in him.

It's not that simple. If it was, I would have gotten laid and been in an actual relationship by now.

 

[backbreaker]

Two girls ago, I burned the bridges and it wasn't a pretty site. There's no point in making this girl into an enemy.

And no, I'm not going to try and sell myself. Whatever I post will get torn apart and I know that I'm not highly valued. That's why I don't go after high value girls.

you sir, are helpless. go ahead and wallow in your own misery.

 

[J. Darko]

Learned self helplessness? I've never heard of that. The explanations I'm finding are confusing, though I did just wake up.

I never understood the concept of being comfortable in my own skin. How could I possibly not be?

Two girls ago, I burned the bridges and it wasn't a pretty site. There's no point in making this girl into an enemy.

And no, I'm not going to try and sell myself. Whatever I post will get torn apart and I know that I'm not highly valued. That's why I don't go after high value girls.


It's not that simple. If it was, I would have gotten laid and been in an actual relationship by now.

It is that simple. You are just hiding from the fact that something is so seriously wrong with you that of all those girls you've met not one girl has ever showed any interest in you. It's not like you are going to solve that problem on this board.

 

[CarlitosWay]

Learned self helplessness? I've never heard of that. The explanations I'm finding are confusing, though I did just wake up.


Learned helplessness sometimes remains specific to one situation,[7] but at other times generalizes across situations.[5]

An individual's attributional style or explanatory style was the key to understanding why people responded differently to adverse events.[8] Although a group of people may experience the same or similar negative events, how each person privately interprets or explains the event will affect the likelihood of acquiring learned helplessness and subsequent depression.[9]

People with pessimistic explanatory style—which sees negative events as permanent ("it will never change"), personal ("it's my fault"), and pervasive ("I can't do anything correctly")—are most likely to suffer from learned helplessness and depression.[1
Another example of learned helplessness in social settings involves loneliness and shyness. Those who are extremely shy, passive, anxious and depressed may learn helplessness to offer stable explanations for unpleasant social experiences. However, Gotlib and Beatty (1985) found that people who cite helplessness in social settings may be viewed poorly by others, resulting in a situation that reinforces the problematic thinking.

Social problems resulting from learned helplessness seem unavoidable; however, the effect goes away with the passage of time.[25] Nonetheless, learned helplessness can be minimized by "immunization" and potentially reversed by therapy. People can be immunized against the perception that events are uncontrollable by increasing their awareness of previous positive experiences.[26] Therapy can instruct people in the fact of contingency[27] and bolster people's self esteem.

:yes:

 

[Masculinity]

Nooo!

Keep some of the dignity you have left, put yourself together and do NOT have any contact with her other than academic! If you don't, you'll end up being her b!tch, kinda like this --->:kick: Haha, go get a handful of chicks, especially at college! You seem to know what you're doing when you aren't on pvssy trance :rockon:

 

[zekko]

I never understood the concept of being comfortable in my own skin. How could I possibly not be?

I've never liked that expression either, it's ridiculous.
What it means though is that you are confident in yourself and feel comfortable that you can handle yourself well in various social situations, like going out with a girl, for example. Obviously you're not confident in yourself because you don't think you're high value.

You must have something going for you. And even if you don't you can set out to try to improve yourself in different areas. You're still fairly young, you can turn this around. But you're not going to be able to do it with a negative attitude. I've seen guys with nothing going for them but they were so delusionally confident that they were so cool that they actually went on to succeed. You can accomplish more with positive energy than with negative energy. The bottom line is that the negative attitude is NOT getting you results, so you have to drop it.

Heh, guess I was hoping there was some secret PUA trick to awaken a girls hidden sexual energy.

Unfortunately there is no trick that will get any ONE particular girl interested in you. It's a numbers game. If the field you're planting in isn't fertile, you have to find a different one.

 

[Maxtro]

It is that simple.

You are just hiding from the fact that something is so seriously wrong with you that of all those girls you've met not one girl has ever showed any interest in you. It's not like you are going to solve that problem on this board.

Hiding from the fact that something is wrong with me?

I know very well that something is seriously wrong with me. That's why I'm on this board and others like it, that's why I'm in therapy. I am screwed up in way that makes me unappealing to women.

So if you can tell that something is wrong with me, how can you say that the answer is simple?

CarlitosWay, thanks for the info. I'm going to ask my counselor about it. You may be on to something.

I've never liked that expression either, it's ridiculous.
What it means though is that you are confident in yourself and feel comfortable that you can handle yourself well in various social situations, like going out with a girl, for example. Obviously you're not confident in yourself because you don't think you're high value.

Oh, that does make more sense. Thanks for clearing it up.

I do believe I am confident in many social situations. What I struggle with is making friends and attracting women. Or I should say, I have no problem making female friends.

I'm a firm believer that confidence comes from having successful past experiences. Meaning, I've done something before, I can do it again. Things that I haven't done before, or done correctly, I'm less confident.

When it comes to value, I don't believe that mine is particularly high. I'm not even average height or that good looking. I don't have money or any type of fame. I don't have an exciting life or a charismatic personality. That's why I believe that I don't have high value.

You must have something going for you. And even if you don't you can set out to try to improve yourself in different areas. You're still fairly young, you can turn this around. But you're not going to be able to do it with a negative attitude. I've seen guys with nothing going for them but they were so delusionally confident that they were so cool that they actually went on to succeed. You can accomplish more with positive energy than with negative energy. The bottom line is that the negative attitude is NOT getting you results, so you have to drop it.

I do have somethings going for me, but I don't know if it's enough for the women to notice and actually consider me as somebody they want to date.

I really am trying to get rid of the negative attitude, but with the repeated failings with women, changing my attitude is very hard.

One thing that I try very hard to do is not show any negativity at all to women. I am energized by being around women, so I don't think I'm giving them any bad signals.

Unfortunately there is no trick that will get any ONE particular girl interested in you. It's a numbers game. If the field you're planting in isn't fertile, you have to find a different one.

That is a sad thing.

The numbers game is a scary and tiring concept. It really sucks meeting the rare girl who seems perfect for me, then having to move on because she doesn't like me in the way that I like her. That's probably why I got stuck on this girl again. Her personality, manners and interests, seem to make her the perfect girl for me. We get along great and have tons of things in common, so it's sad to see that she's not interested.

 

[J. Darko]

Hiding from the fact that something is wrong with me?

I know very well that something is seriously wrong with me. That's why I'm on this board and others like it, that's why I'm in therapy. I am screwed up in way that makes me unappealing to women.

So if you can tell that something is wrong with me, how can you say that the answer is simple?

CarlitosWay, thanks for the info. I'm going to ask my counselor about it. You may be on to something.

Because you are screwed up by being on this board. You keep seeking answers that don't exist. You keep analysing that which can't be analysed.

 

[zekko]

I'm a firm believer that confidence comes from having successful past experiences. Meaning, I've done something before, I can do it again. Things that I haven't done before, or done correctly, I'm less confident.

One thing I've learned here is that confidence is a CHOICE. It's a mindset. A pickup artist can fail nine times out of ten but still remain confident. That's almost illogical if you look at it. It's great to have successful experiences, but you have to make a choice to be confident. And if you fail, you make the choice again.

I do have somethings going for me, but I don't know if it's enough for the women to notice and actually consider me as somebody they want to date.

The stuff they tell you here about having to be a top 10% guy to get a girl is total BS. Focus on your good points and try to strengthen your weaknesses.

One thing that I try very hard to do is not show any negativity at all to women. I am energized by being around women, so I don't think I'm giving them any bad signals.

That's good.

The numbers game is a scary and tiring concept. It really sucks meeting the rare girl who seems perfect for me, then having to move on because she doesn't like me in the way that I like her.

You're right, and I've been in that position too. It sucks. But there's not much you can do about it unfortunately. The bottom line is this girl is not meeting your needs so she really ISN"T perfect for you, is she?

I hate to say this, but maybe you should lower your standards a bit. Try getting a chick where you think you would have the higher value. It might boost your ego and she might treat you better.

 

[nightcrawler]

maxtro you're 29 years old ans suplicating to a 21 year old

grow up man

 

[Maxtro]

Because you are screwed up by being on this board. You keep seeking answers that don't exist. You keep analysing that which can't be analysed.

Is that supposed to be some kind of riddle?

You cannot be like this. What you're saying is you can't successfully get a girl until you've done it once. Good luck living with this paradox for the rest of your life.

It is a bit of a paradox. But it's not impossible. Confidence usually means the next time you do something, it will be done easier and better. So it's possible to pick up women without any confidence, but it won't be easy.

One thing I've learned here is that confidence is a CHOICE. It's a mindset. A pickup artist can fail nine times out of ten but still remain confident. That's almost illogical if you look at it. It's great to have successful experiences, but you have to make a choice to be confident. And if you fail, you make the choice again.

That's because the PUA has the experience of doing successful pickups. If the guy never succeeded, he wouldn't have any confidence.

I cannot simply chose to be more confident. That doesn't mean I stop doing things that scare me. But it takes me a while to work up to them.

You're right, and I've been in that position too. It sucks. But there's not much you can do about it unfortunately. The bottom line is this girl is not meeting your needs so she really ISN"T perfect for you, is she?

I hate to say this, but maybe you should lower your standards a bit. Try getting a chick where you think you would have the higher value. It might boost your ego and she might treat you better.

No girl meets my needs, so nobody is perfect for me. That doesn't really make any sense. If I were to get her she would be perfect.

As for lowering my standards. Here's a pic of the last girl I had a few dates with. I'd place her at about a 7. The current girl I'm after isn't as cute and doesn't have any style so she's firmly a 6. Once women start getting into the 5 or below category I'm not attracted to them at all. So I really can't go much lower.

maxtro you're 29 years old ans suplicating to a 21 year old

grow up man

Do you even know what supplication means?

Read up.

 

[faiNt`]

Ignore her.

 

[blueline]

Maxtro, stop fucking falling in love with women that haven't fucked you yet.

 

[Maxtro]

Maxtro, stop fucking falling in love with women that haven't fucked you yet.

LOL! I wish I could.

Believe me, I know how fucking retarded it is.

What kind of freaks me out is how I'm going to act if I do manage to have a LTR with a chick and she dumps me.

 

[blueline]

What kind of freaks me out is that you'll never get an LTR if you fall in love with women so quickly like this.

 

[nightcrawler]

Do you even know what supplication means?

GROW UP ALREADY

 

[J. Darko]

Is that supposed to be some kind of riddle?


It is a bit of a paradox. But it's not impossible. Confidence usually means the next time you do something, it will be done easier and better. So it's possible to pick up women without any confidence, but it won't be easy.

That's because the PUA has the experience of doing successful pickups. If the guy never succeeded, he wouldn't have any confidence.

I cannot simply chose to be more confident. That doesn't mean I stop doing things that scare me. But it takes me a while to work up to them.


No girl meets my needs, so nobody is perfect for me. That doesn't really make any sense. If I were to get her she would be perfect.

As for lowering my standards. Here's a pic of the last girl I had a few dates with. I'd place her at about a 7. The current girl I'm after isn't as cute and doesn't have any style so she's firmly a 6. Once women start getting into the 5 or below category I'm not attracted to them at all. So I really can't go much lower.

Do you even know what supplication means?

Read up.

Amazing how you have such big mouth on this board with the attitude that you know it all and you know it better, but obviously not in real life. You are going to die as a lonely virgin after attention wh.ring this board for ten more years.

 

[zekko]

Once women start getting into the 5 or below category I'm not attracted to them at all.

Honestly, that's pretty much the way I feel.
I think I've said in the past that a 5 to me is someone I might think about doing, but once I consider it or when it comes right down to it, I'm not going to do it.

I'd rate the picture of the girl you provided a 6, by the way. Not trying to make a point here, just saying.

 

[kingsam]

maxtro, you show a typical example of guy whoes standards are above his "skill level" ..... you need to drop the standards and just gain experience and quantity for a while ......then... you can start increasing the quality of women, after you have some experience

just fvck some girls who are average to ugly, to break this cycle, it will help that you are more indifferent to these girls

think ... "in 4 years time i will be dating hotties, this first year i need to gain expereince so all women (within reason) can provide good referance experiences for me at the moment"
many guys on this site would benefit from this attitude at the moment (quantity > quality to gain experience)

 

[Maxtro]

Honestly, that's pretty much the way I feel.
I think I've said in the past that a 5 to me is someone I might think about doing, but once I consider it or when it comes right down to it, I'm not going to do it.

I'd rate the picture of the girl you provided a 6, by the way. Not trying to make a point here, just saying.

If she was a 6 then the current girl I'm trying to get is a 5.

And people keep telling me that I need to lower my standards. They can't get any lower.

The crazy thing is, the girl whose picture I posted was going out with at least three other guys in addition to me and she just kicked me to the curb because I couldn't compare.