duke007's Boot Camp Journal

[duke007]

I'm posting a new thread so the other one doesn't get too crowded. If you've read my other posts, you'd know I finished Week 1 in two days and have moved straight into Week 2.

Week 2, Day 1
Since I had a late one the night before, I slept in till late morning. I'm preparing for another night out clubbing before I realise it's my brother's birthday. He's 24...and the biggest DAFC you'll ever know. It's actually quite sad seeing him get so old without any life skills. So I decide to stay home for him and the family.

I go to the supermarket to get some items for his birthday dinner, but there are only older people. I catch EC with an HB8 checkout chick as I approach the registers, and I start chatting to her when it's my turn. Never under-estimate the power of empathy my friends! I couldn't get her to shut-up actually. I'm counting that as a convo because I usually choke in these situations....especially if the girl is hot.

I'm just about to enter the liquor department when I hear my name timidly called out from behind. It turn and see a guy from high school (4 yrs ago) who is even more of a DAFC than my brother. It was like pulling teeth talking to him...but he probably would have appreciated having someone take an interest in his life.

The liquor dept is out of the beer I want so I go to the other supermarket. Since I have bags of groceries from the other one I approach two checkout chicks and ask if they'll look after my bags while I shop. The guy working at the liquor dept has no customer service or people skills, even though I'm friendly towards him. He then asks for my ID (Legal age is 18 here).

I return to the front to collect my bags and potentially start a convo with one of the checkout chicks (One is an HB8, the other an HB5.5). I get EC, smile and say, "thanks for that." HB8 just stares at me blankly as if I'm transparent. HB5.5 has her back turned. Sheesh! That store has always had bogans working there.

So overall just one convo, plus the one from yesterday makes 2.

Week 2, Day 2
I slept in again...not very happy with myself. I spend the day planning my November holiday, making a website for a friend, and catching up on some reading.

 

[Dapper Swindler]

Sounds like you're doing fine, don't know what else to tell you.

Do you even find this part of bootcamp difficult or is this natural for you?

 

[duke007]

Week 2, Day 3

Quite a good day, although it got off to awkward start. Once again I was initially nervous...just due to the high expectations of bootcamp.

Approach/Convo 1
I bought lunch in a food court and sat down to eat. A paper was in front of me so I briefly flipped through it. A big guy with a crappy pony tail sat next to me (looked like a typical sci-fi fan) and kept looking over at the paper that I'd finished with. I asked if he wanted to read it and he accepted.

I put myself in his shoes, which is an important skill to have. I tried to engage in small-talk about the paper but the guy just wanted to read the letters page. My attempt was lame, but he didn't contribute either.

Approach/Convo 2
An HB7 Asian girl was standing outside the supermarket when I was leaving the store. I walked up to her an asked how her day was, trying to make small talk. She was barely responsive at all, but my approach sucked because I was still feeling the nerves. After barely 1 minute her guy friend returns and they leave


I left the mall and stood outside in the warm city streets, scanning the environment for new targets. I saw a blonde from behind sitting on a bench, and I was about to approach, but then two older ladies sat on either side of her

Approach/Convo 3
A slightly older looking HB7.5 walks up a stands barely 2 metres from me. Could this be a girl approach I thought? I starting talking to her, but like the other girl she wasn't very responsive. She mentioned it was a really nice warm day, so I asked why she was wearing a woolen sweater. Very soon, a dorky looking Indian guy walks near. She walks up to him without even saying goodbye to me and they kiss . Ahh well that's why she had a b1tch shield!

Since these were tiny, crappy convos, I'm counting these three as 1 convo

Approach/Convo 4
I was now walking past the very popular State Library Lawn looking for somebody sitting by themselves to approach. Everybody stays in packs! Finally I see a suit-wearing 50yo looking guy on a bench so I sit down and start chatting. He is very receptive and we have a decent 7-odd minute convo. I shift the topic to football finals, which is easy to talk about with other guys. Find out that we go for the same footy team and leave with my confidence up again.

Approach/Convo 5
I get on the tram heading up to the Uni gym and make a beeline for the seat next to a very cute HB7.5 Asian. Yep there are Asians everywhere in my city...not one white HB in the tram at that time!

I don't even wait three seconds...I just say, "Hi, how are you today?" I was feeling very confident and we have a REALLY good convo...plus she was born here and not too ethnic. The difference between this approach and many others I've done in recent times is she asked me a lot of questions. I gave very brief answers and shifted to convo back to her in most cases. She leaves the tram earlier than I expect so I don't have time to get the digits. I ask her name, and she asks mine. Ahh well next week is for number closes.

Approach/Convo 6
I'm halfway through my gym workout and I go to the lightweights room because some guy is using the dumbells I need. I do a few sets near a tall guy in the dumbbell section and he seems to be struggling with his reps. He struck me as approachable for some reason. I'm tired also from the heat, so I say, "Too hot today for a workout, hey?" He agrees and starts talking about his shoulder injury and other gym stuff as if he's known me all his life.

After barely 2 mins an HB8 walks past and jokingly says to him, "Geez, you talk a lot a sh1t." I say, "What do you mean he's talking sh1t?" But she keeps walking and doesn't reply. Whatever. We talk some more, do another set, then I say, "What's with your friend?" He laughed and said they just try to make fun of each other all time.

I never thought of social proof in the gym before...but my approach was enough for the HB8 to want to get involved. Too bad she was an attention wh0re.

I was a lot more sociable in the gym today in general. I said hi to a few regulars, smalltalked with some-one while taking turns on a machine, and told some guy nearby that the tricep machine was f*cked and we tried to fix it. (He saw me struggling with it)


On the tram back to the city, a hotter HB8 Asian got in and sat right next to me. Nice! I was confident enough not to choke this time but then she recognises an AFC Asian guy opposite us and they start talking. Doh!

Approach/Convo 7
On the subway platform I see a girl in the distance standing against the wall reading the crappy free train station tabloid paper. I can't see her face but I approach anyway, asking her if there was anything worth reading about today. She looks up, laughs and says no, only something about Britney Spears. I notice now that she is another Asian!

I suggest she reads a book or finds someone to chat with on the train. She's polite, and engages in some conversation but then for some reason reopens her crappy paper after a 2 second silence. I don't take that kind of crap, so I stopped talking to her. When her train came, she smiled and said, "Have a nice day" Confusing one, but I'll mark it down to experience.

Observation
I saw a LOT of couples today, just like Friday night. It seems like the whole city is hooked up. What disturbs me most is that almost ALL the guys didn't act confident. Instead they looked at the ground, looked sullen and depressed, whined (when I overheard on THREE occasions), and basically came across as losers. Still, there gfs were almost always beaming. It's kind of annoying to see trends like these. Where are the confident DJs strutting around with their b1tches in tow? Nowhere.

Overall I got 5 convos with strangers today. Added to the two from before, that makes 7 convos after three days of week 2. I'm damn determined!

 

[duke007]

Thanks DS. No I'm definitely not a natural, but my previous experience is coming in quite handy.

I'm still feeling a touch apprehensive though. This will soon disappear, as it will with you.

 

[Dapper Swindler]

In convo 7, it seems like the woman wanted to talk to you but felt foolish standing there with a paper after two seconds of silence. If I were her I would be tempted to escape into a paper rather than stand there.

I can relate to your observations. I see losers everywhere that have girlfriends. People that obviously have no skills or any balls to approach women like us. Sometimes I want to run up to them and shake them and ask "What the fvck did you do to get her?!"

It seems like everyone who does a bootcamp talks about going to the gym. I'm starting to work out at home, but going all the way to the gym seems like an incredible time commitment.

 

[duke007]

Week 2, Day 4

Today was a little frustrating, but I'm still well on target.

It was a brilliant day...the warmest so far this spring. Too good to stay indoors. A friend and I are going to play some golf sometime next weekend so I thought it would be good to have some practice at the driving range today.

I've played golf about twice in my life, and the last time nearly 2 years ago. And lets just say I sucked badly....could barely get the ball airborne! I figured 60 practice balls would be a good learning exercise.

I laid down the first ball, not expecting much, and THWACK! It went high in the air perfectly straight for about 150 metres. I kept hitting them nicely (although I had a bit of a slice) and got a couple past the 175 marker.

An older guy next to me hit a massive ball and I turned to him and said, "Nice shot mate!" He just looked at me funny. Sheesh! I don't know much about driving range etiquette, but according to his expression I must have committed a major faux pas. There was no-one else to talk to.

After my balls ran out I drove to the nearby shopping centre to look around. And I'm pretty disappointed that the start of bootcamp had to coincide with school holidays.

There were schoolkids absolutely EVERYWHERE! I could barely see any legal HBs, and even if there were some it would have been difficult to differentiate. Teeny hoes in inappropriate clothing were walking around, and packs of junior-AMOGs were bumming around ogling at them all. I got my fair share of ECs and smiles from them and one little cutie even said hi to me when I was sitting down.

If I was 3-4 years younger I'd be drowning in p*ssy!

The bookstore was completely devoid of female talent, as were the three CD stores. They're not recognised as pick-up joints round here, maybe the chicks are too stupid to read. Still, I was looking through a bargain DVD stand while a middle-aged lady was doing the same. I said, "I don't think we'll find much here.....unless you want Boy Band Karaoke," while holding up the crappy DVD. She laughed, and I said something else but she didn't seem to keen on a convo. Not a MILF in case you were wondering.

I'm getting annoyed with all the kids hovering around and I see this elderly gentleman on a bench. I sit down next to him and we chat for about 5 minutes. He was Scottish, but kinda boring

I saw an average teen girly sitting alone with a drink and I kept tossing up whether to approach her. Not to get the digits...just to add to my convo tally. Couldn't do it though...cause she looked too young and stupid and I felt like a ped.

So just adding one to my convo tally today
8 convos completed.

 

[duke007]

Week 2, Day 5

I started the day on 8 convos, needing 2 more to meet my quota.

I was by myself at the bus stop around noon when I saw an Asian girl approaching. But rather than sit inside the shelter where I was, she avoided EC and crept around to the side where I couldn't see her.

WTF? This is the same girl who did this to me last week as well. So I figured out a way to approach without popping out and scaring her. She was ugly (HB4.5), and could barely string any words together. It wasn't worth the bother.

Later in the gym I saw an HB8 stretching nearby but choked on the approach. The guy who I said Hi to on Monday starting stretching nearby so I acknowledged him again and started a convo. He said he was too tired to workout and then the convo fizzled...I'm not counting it.

It's Uni holiday week at the moment so campus was really empty when I went for some (late) lunch in the Union building. I eat my food and look around, but there are only groups of Asian people sitting around .

Suddenly I see a girl up ahead looking at a huge noticeboard. I finished my food and sauntered over there, pretending to look at the ads myself so as not be so obvious. It wasn't until I opened her that I saw her face - HB6.5 not bad at all.

Tip:That's the beauty of Week 2 Boot Camp. Since it's all about talking to people of all ages and appearances, there's no excuse not to make blind approaches. I used to have heaps of missed opportunities in situations like this.

It turns out the girl was French called Valerie (say that in a Frenchy accent ), and was looking for new roommates in the area because her current ones talk Chinese all the time! She was more than happy to talk although she didn't understand some of my Aussie slang.

I was keen to number close, but for some reason that noticeboard became the most popular place in campus! As I said before, while eating the place was deserted, but now three (!) other people are hovering around listening to my pick-up attempt! F*ck them I thought, and number closed her anyway. Wasn't my smoothest approach, but she wanted my # too so I'll probably be seeing her again.

I left with my head high and saw a girl sitting down eating with her back turned to me. Without breaking stride I said, "Hey, how's it going?" She turned and saw me and said cheerily, "Good thanks, how are you?" I saw her face then...she was an HB8...and I'm still kicking myself that I didn't stop and walk back.

5 mins later an HB8.5 was sitting down talking on her phone. She was looking in my direction so I smiled and threw her a small wave. She looked a bit taken aback but returned a slight smile.

F*ck mobiles and headphones from now on, they've foiled me too many times in the past.

Outside the State Library, I sat on a bench next to a young Asian guy. He was smoking and looked like an Asian Gangster type that you sometimes see around these parts. No need to be afraid I thought. He turned out to be the nicest and easiest to talk to out of all my 10 approaches. He was from Japan and worked as a poorly-paid waiter. He laughed a lot at stuff I said even though I wasn't ******dly trying to be funny. Good practice here.

With 10 convos done (YAY), I went down to the train platform to go home. Walked right up to a girl leaning against the rail and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She looked up from her paper really meekly and back down again. I asked her something else and she did the same. So I chuckled slightly and said, "you don't talk very much do you? That's OK" She squeaked no and continued looking painfully shy. When she got on her train, she sat down and looked at me through the window . She might have been young....it is school holidays after all

When my train came, I got in and an HB7 sat diagonally to me. Straight away I smiled and said, "how's it going?..................Good?" She was sitting right there and looked at me, but was too b1tchy to reply. The train took about 20 minutes so it was a little frustrating that I missed out on gaming her.

Do any DJs have any ideas in such a situation where you can't bail from the scene? What would have a been a good follow up line?

 

[duke007]

Forgot to post my statistics. I'll be regularly updating them. Cold Approaches counts only those approaches made toward women I'd consider dating.

Rejections is where I attempt the number close and fail.

 

[Pulsar]

Good stuff duke, you're an inspiration to me man, I'm gonna do this too, when I get a chance.

Quick question for ya, what does "DAFC" mean?

I've know most acronyms but haven't come across the "D" one before

 

[felony]

Hey D007,

Props to u bro- keep up the good work, may all the best in pvssy etc come to u!

I like your style of writing, easy to read and humour that i find funny! I was in a situation where i couldn't bail on the train once aswell- started chatting to a older business hb7 chic who snobbed me off. I think she must have had a tough day at the office haha... but i was lucky that i had my ipod and could just listen to music instead. Too bad for her i could have made her feel better ! haha.

On a second occassion again on the train opened a hb6 who was too shy or something and kinda looked out the window trying to avoid EC. I gave it a break, and bout 2 stops later the scene had changed, people got on people got off. She was still there but another HB at least 2 pts more than this got on and sat next to me. I opened her and chatted with her all the way around the city loop. ! Shoulda seen the look on the HB-ug when i #-closed right in front of her! haha. (definately one of my sweetest connex moments!)

Hey drop me a sms when ur going out next and i will vice-versa.

cheers mate,
felony.

 

[duke007]

Cheers Pulsar, glad that my journal can be of help to others.
DAFC stands for Dateless Average Frustrated Chump.....the worst kind there is.

felony: nice to hear from you again man! I tried to PM you before but your inbox was full...it would be nice to catch up again now that I'm back in the game. This weekend is the GF but after that I'm good.

Good work on the train...I almost feel sorry for that hoe that she missed out on a DJ

later

 

[duke007]

Week 3, Day 1

Boy have I got some stories to tell! Today was the first day of week 3 (started a day early), where Boot Camp starts to get really interesting. Let me tell you it was a zany, interesting, very DJ day.

I woke up with a big fat pimple on my lip...it looked like herpes or something! Maybe not that bad, but a few times throughout the day I could feel it and felt self-conscious about it.

My day started down at the bus-stop, where I said good morning to a lady, her kids, and their grandma. I helped her lift the stroller onto the bus and she was very thankful. When I put my ticket in the machine, I did a quick scan of the bus. Most seats were taken by one person, and one of the few girls I saw returned some EC.

Approach 1
So I walked straight up and said, "Is this seat taken?" I started the convo straight away, unlike last time when I tried this. She was a cute HB6.5 named Mel, was originally from the country, and a pleasure to talk to. The bus ride was about 20 minutes, and she asked me a lot of questions....so it was tough to remain super mysterious. At least question asking shows IL. I number closed and then wondered what the guy sitting behind us must have thought.

I got off the bus and started heading down to the Grand Final Parade (like the Super Bowl in Aus I guess). I made a good CA here last year so I made sure I came back for a second attempt. I kept scouting around the place looking for an HB, but there were none!

I gave up and found a place to watch and then some Indian businessman walked up and started asking me why all the people were lined up etc. We ended up chatting for about 10 minutes and I took a photo of him with my phone. Not the kind of approach I was looking for, but it was good convo practice.

I moved to a new spot and heard two girls behind me talking in what seemed like American accents. One said, "What team do we go for?" I laughed, blindly spun around and said, "You don't know what team you go for?" Unfortunately they weren't hot Americans, they were two young girls! They laughed and were trying to start a convo with me....but I soon spotted an HB in the distance and moved away.

Approach 2
She was handing out fliers and getting rejected by a lot of people. I approached, took one, and said, "what do we have here?" She explained it was for a fish cafe nearby so I said, "Ahh good I thought you were one of those Greenpeace people." She was a bit plainer up close (HB6) and we talked a little bit while she complained about people ignoring her. I didn't want to number close so I turned back to the parade when it started.

The parade was pretty good....right up until some bastard bird crapped on my head . I felt something, and prayed it was either a stray droplet of rain or maybe a falling leaf. I finally got the courage to put my hand up there and it came back smeared with brown and white

I didn't let it get to me though, just calmly walked to the nearest toilet and washed my head in the basin. Had know way of knowing whether or not it was all clean though!

I went over to the big stage where a radio station guy was talking to an audience. Once again there were a lot of families, older people and general football supporters, no HBs. I stopped walking and faced the stage, and saw that a nice-looking girl had been walking behind me. She continued on into the crowd. 5 minutes later she (HB7.5) walked over from the other side and stood about 2 metres from me!

Approach 3
The MC said, "We have a lost father...Jim please come to the stage, your wife is waiting." People chuckled, I stepped over to HB7.5 and said, "sounds like something my dad would do." She cracked up, which was nice, because it really wasn't that funny. We got talking and it turns out she came to watch the parade but was too late. She was laughing a lot the whole time. After 10 minutes I went for the number close, but she said, "Sorry, but I have a boyfriend." Doh!

Leaving here, two girls in pink T-shirts that said, "FREE" were handing out things. I approached and said, "What's free?" and she gave me a coupon for a complimentary facial! I laughed and she said, "you can give it to your girlfriend................or mum" At first I was pissed that she implied I couldn't get a girl. But later I considered the possibility that she wished I didn't have a GF (she did hover a bit). It's funny how things can be interpretted differently when you think in a DJ mindset compared to an AFC mindset.

I then went down to the market to buy a new wallet, but they sell a lot of fake crap there and nothing caught my eye. Not many HBs were here at all, but one blonde HB8.5 with her dad flashed me a great smile. I choked because she was walking away.

I had a big lunch and then headed over to the gym, but first I had to do what that bird did on my head. I sat down on the can and then my phone rang. It was an anonymous call so I had to answer it.....and it was a women from a store where I applied for a job at! And as I sat on the dunny, I participated in a 5 to 10 minute phone interview! Haha I was pretty relaxed.....and I passed! So I'm invited to a group interview on Monday.

Approach 4
I was having a really good workout, and I went up to the light room to get some light dumbbells. An HB8 was working out there and was sweating a bit, as was I. So I said (while pulling at my singlet), "Someone needs to turn these fans up a bit." She laughed loudly and agreed, but before I knew it she had already walked away. Fair enough At least next time I may be able to start a convo.

Approach 5
I was walking down to the train station mentally adding up the day's statistics when I suddenly saw a very cute HB7.5 just in front of me. Last year they redeveloped the station entrance so you have to walk a long through all these shops and escalators. I said, "It takes so long to get to the station these days, hey?" She laughed (like gym girl) and said, "Yeah, I was just about to say..."

Hmmm was that a hidden clue that she wanted to meet me or just a figure of speech? We had a good but quick convo and it was all starting to come out really naturally for me. I went for the number at the platform entrance but she said, "Sorry, I don't give out my number......but if I see you around...."

It sounds like this was a case of opening well but not having enough rapport to close without an ASD kicking in. Barely 2 minutes. Any advice on how to overcome this problem? I don't think a direct method like jwhite's will work as well in Australia. Especially when not on a college campus.

Got down to the platform and an older HB (late 20's) was sitting down changing her shoes (putting on socks too!). I sat down and it went like this:
Me: "Changing into something more comfy?"
HBMature (laughing): "It's not a good look is it?"
Me: "It's a good thing they don't smell "
HBMature (laughing harder): "You're not close enough for that"

Still can't believe I had the stones to say that. Straight away a guy walks past and heaps of books fall out of his bag. I am the only one who helps him, and HBOlder sees. While I'm helping him, I hear her tell a lady who tried to steal my seat that I was sitting there. We talk a bit more after that, but going for a number is far from my mind....she's too old for me!

On the train, an Indian girl a few seats away smiled at me, and then a nice HB8 Asian girl with sexy punk-style short hair (who I hadn't seen yet), gave me a nice smile while I was leaving the train.

Overall today, I was amazed how I was treated like an important member of the community. On many occasions people asked me about the buses, asked for the time, asked where the toilets were, said sorry when our paths crossed and we had to avoid each other, let me get on the bus first. One guy at the gym even opened the locker room door for me as if I was royalty! These things never happen to me

I don't know what I hell I did differently today, but people sure as hell noticed. Even though I had a big fat pimple on my lip! I was respected in public....my few well-placed Hi's were all returned happily.

I think going through Bootcamp so far has given me an intangible air of approachability. Just like the guy at the gym last week seemed to have. I'm so glad I started this!!

 

[Pulsar]

I'm just curious as to what you have been using when you number close?

Do you use the standard, "it's been nice meeting you, but I've got to know now, we should catch up again, what's your number?"?

I think going through Bootcamp so far has given me an intangible air of approachability. Just like the guy at the gym last week seemed to have. I'm so glad I started this!!

That's really good that you're making progress, man, keep up the good work

 

[duke007]

Week 3, Day 2

hey pulsar, I don't have a preset number closing line, but it's usually something along the lines of:
"We should continue this chat later, tell me your number and we can hang out sometime"

Do whatever feels comfortable and you'll be fine

--------------------------------------
Now back to the daily report...
Today was grand final day in Australia, so a friend invited me over for a BBQ at his place. I expected some nice chicks to be there (especially his HB9 workmate), but it turned out there were only 5 guys

We all had a good time joking, drinking and watching the game without the need to spend time talking to women. By nighttime we decided to go out to a pub and maybe play some pool.

The Irish pub was really packed so we decided to play a couple of hours of pool first. This pool hall is ALWAYS lacking hot women so I didn't expect to see any. About 1 hour in my AFC friend tells me two girls keep looking at me from the couches. He says when I walked to the bar, the brunette turned her whole body around to check me out! He's right....we continue playing and whenever I glance over they were looking.

This friend is terrified of approaches - when I told him that we'd approach after the game of pool he started packing sh1t. Very soon after, the guy on the other team knocks the black ball in prematurely. My friend is so scared now he says, "No that rule is stupid, put the black back on the table!" His nervousness starts to rub off on me. Keep this in mind when talking to girls...people automatically mirror others mood's so you better make sure it's a relaxed, confident one.

He's obsessed with blondes so the plan was he'd sit next to the blonde and I'd have the brunette. But he just walked up really timidly and sat next to the brunette. I wasn't too fussed though, because the blonde was an HB8 and the brunette an HB6!

We clicked instantly..she had an infectious personality and conversation was very playful and light-hearted. Really genuine smile, which I complimented her on (not in an AFC way). She was actually interesting to listen to, which is sometimes unusual for a girl We found some things in common...that we both applied for the same part-time job. She said stuff like, "wouldn't it be great if we both got hired!" My kino wasn't as good as it used to be but she was kinoing me, including one time when she gently pinched the crook of my elbow!

Unfortunately, my friend wasn't going to well with the HB6. He had closed posture and she seemed to be leaning away from him a little bit. He said later she just wasn't giving much eye contact...and he was looking at us two getting along and wished he could join in. Poor bastard....his first real approach and I was successfully gaming the type of girl he has wet dreams about!

HB6 Brunette wanted to leave so I went to number close HB8 (Leah). And here's the interesting bit:

Me: "Tell me your number so we can hang out sometime"
Leah (still smiling): "Errrr..OK!"
Me: "Cool...what was the errrrr for?" (damnnnnn why did I say this????????????)
Leah: "Well...I have a boyfriend, but that doesn't matter!"
Me: "I don't mind "

She did this right in front of her friend...don't know what to make of it. Based on the vibe we had do you think I'd have a chance with her? Or is she one of those sunshine girl's? Any advice on how would I go about DJing her from this point onwards?

 

[duke007]

Update

Just made my first phonecalls for dates....

I have a date setup with the French chick, but her accent is so strong I can barely understand what she was saying on the phone!

Then I called up the girl from the bus, and she said, "I wasn't completely honest with you, I actually have a boyfriend so we'll have to leave it there blah blah blah" She says I kinda put her on the spot.....she didn't seem particularly taken aback when I number closed though.

Damn so that's 4 girls showing some signals with boyfriends. Everyone's taken!
Back to the field...

 

[Pulsar]

Keep it going bro, this is a life-style decision--remember

You're doing great

 

[duke007]

Week 3, Day 4

Well I'm pretty bummed out at the moment...quite pissed off actually. It seems I always find myself in unusual, unlucky situations the moment I start to make progress.

I just wish for one straightforward pickup - approach, IOIs, kiss, f*ck. No bull****.

Here's what happened today:

In the morning I turned up at my group interview for a clothing store. I expected hot girls....they're the type of people usually hired by trendy fashion shops.

There were only 7 of us - five girls and an Asian guy. There was somebody from every age group (15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21). Only the 18yo was dateable - the 21yo was repulsive and the other three were jailbait and/or average. She reminded me of a lesser Delta Goodrem, maybe a HB8

I really want this job - as long as I was a confident DJ my chances would be good. So I small-talked with everybody while we waited and did my best to make everyone feel at ease. HBDelta was wearing very formal business wear, so I commented that she was making everybody else feel underdressed (underhanded compliment).

When the interview got underway, HBDelta was giving me some good IOIs. When my partner was describing me, she couldn't get that smile off her face. (Especially when my partner said that I describe myself as an "all round cool guy" ). She also referred to or copied some of my question responses - obvious mirroring.

BUT...when her partner described her...she mentioned she had a BF of 2 years. I'm so used to this by now I act indifferent. I made a few well-timed jokes that got the whole table laughing and HBDelta just started looking even more interested.

Sure enough, she approached me after we were dismissed and wanted to know more about my Uni and if I was catching her train. I'd been stuffed around by too many taken chicks in the past (read previous post for latest example) so I didn't number close. Why even bother? Still, my d1ck was unhappy that I just left abruptly.

OK, now to the second of the day's events.
------------------------------
As you saw in the last post, I set up a date with HBFrench. I just got back from that date. Well damn! There must have been something wrong with my eyes when we met, because tonight she was a definite 8/10 (I earlier said 6.5). Very nice butt and super sexy smile. And I felt quite confident because she gave IOIs during the pickup and there was zero resistance in setting up the date.

We drove to the cafe and she had her knee right near the gearstick so I had to touch her leg when putting it into first. She never tried to move it. We get into the cafe, sit down and I see her ring finger....holy f*ck is this chick married?? (found out later this doesn't mean marriage in France)

But still everything is going smoothly....I ask questions and let her do all the talking, adding in funny comments to make her laugh. Meanwhile I'm looking deep into her eyes while imagining doing sexual things with her. Surprisingly though, she never seems to enter that trancelike state....which is weird because I've done it to other chicks in the past after much less time. Maybe French dudes do that all the time I thought

Through all of this she mentions her boyfriend....just drops it out as if it doesn't mean anything. I started to ask a lot about French culture - how men are different, how young people relate to each other, that sort of thing. And I realise that they are remarkably different. Kino (including mental kino I gathered) is not sexual - she says that in England people assume that if she lets them touch her on arm, it must mean she wants them.

Guys and girls flirt with each other naturally. So asking a girl out at night and being vague about your intentions does not really constitute a date. So sadly for me, I discover through careful questioning that she doesn't even realise that she's leading me on. She doesn't understand that mentioning a boyfriend at a coffee date is a cultural faux pas. She doesn't realise because I don't act like a jealous AFC that she is used to from England.

Just because I act nonchalant and confident as a DJ should, in her eyes I'm just another normal French guy who goes on evening dates with no intention to score. She says that girls who wear short skirts in French nightclubs are labelled sl*ts. She dislikes nightclubs because endless drunken bozos try to pick her up. She never sees that I tried to pick her up though!!! Mine was different because it was at Uni and was a situational opener.

Still I couldn't read her....was her p*ssy a bit itchy after spending extended time away from her bf? Because surely French people have to pickup somehow! An SS game went down really well, and even though I found myself captivated by her alien way of life and thinking it was time to go. I ditched plans to get her back to my place and drove her home.

But she invited me in for coffee......

We sat together on the couch and talked some more....but the heavy eye contact and brief leg kino wasn't working. I've been DJing long enough to read such situations. This is just normal in her country. Finally I'd had enough so I said:

Me: "You know, you are a remarkably interesting girl....but I'm just unable to fully understand you"
Her: "Thankyou..what do you mean"
Me: "Well you seem to say one thing but act completely differently.....why are we drinking coffee together?"
Her: "I just like to have fun....and talk to new people"

I left with a french-style goodbye kiss on both cheeks....she says she'll text me when she goes out with other foreigners to invite me.

At first I was very mad....I saw a couple in their car at the traffic lights and almost lost it. I then worked out that 9 out of the 11 girls I've ever wanted to bone (in my life) have been taken. And I still am quite disillusioned about finding a good quality single chick. The singles who I next have considerable issues.

But just through writing this I shouldn't be so upset at HBFrench. She is a world away from me....and she doesn't have a malicious bone in her body. She just has a poor grasp of English/US/Australian culture. I expect people to flame me for not making a move but no local "Sunshine Girl" would do this without batting an eyelid. It's hard to convey her demeanour throughout the night in writing....but if you were there you'd agree she didn't flinch in the slightest. I learnt a HUGE lesson today.

I really appreciate you guys reading all this.

 

[Acheron]

Duke,

Sorry to hear, man. Try to keep in mind that this is just bad fortune and doesn't really reflect poorly on your DJing skills.

In fact, I'd say you did great overall. You definitely should have asked HBDelta for her number, though. You'd have lost nothing doing so, and she might have mentioned her boyfriend simply to build social proof and/or see if you could handle the competition.

Anyway, hang in there. I've enjoyed reading your journal.

 

[Pulsar]

hey duke, I was just thinking something when I was reading your posts.

It seems to me that you know all the tricks and everything are applying them well but do you think that you're taking things a little seriously?

At first I was very mad....I saw a couple in their car at the traffic lights and almost lost it. I then worked out that 9 out of the 11 girls I've ever wanted to bone (in my life) have been taken. And I still am quite disillusioned about finding a good quality single chick. The singles who I next have considerable issues.

I mean, that last section makes me think that you're taking things a little bit too seriously. There are lots of women out there but if you take things really seriously, then things become so much more difficult because it starts to feel like a 'job'. I don't know, but I think you should be enjoying yourself more from this stuff and focusing on what you want as you have been but just becoming more indifferent as to whether or not you get with the chick you want.

I think it goes with, this: Focusing on the outcome just enough to stay on track, but then focusing more on the details and trying to have fun...and then I think things will be easier.

I like playing video games, but If I was paid to play games and had strict conditions where I could only play for a certain amount of time and then write a report on it, I don't think I'd have fun at all. I think it's similar with this DJ stuff in that if you just focus on it as a means to an end then it feels like a 'job'.

I don't know if any of this makes sense, and I could well be completely wrong since this is the internet and it's tough to be able to judge when you've never met or seen someone before.

But anyway, stay persistant man coz you don't want to be like the guy who quit digging 3ft away from striking rich in the gold mine.

 

[duke007]

Thanks acheron...I probably should have number closed HBDelta. She would have been good social proof if nothing else.

And Pulsar yes I can see what you mean and in a way you are right. But I think that's what bootcamp does to you...it's very goal-based and you have to make a conscious efforts all the time. Also like I said I was pretty upset soon after and needed to let off steam.

It's easy to let your mind dwell on negative thoughts when driving alone.....I was just momentarily fed up about being embroiled with taken girls all the time. I never actively pursue them either....I just find out the truth afterwards. Thanks for the reality check though

Cheers for all your support, I'm going play with the dogs in the park today, go to gym and just take it easy.