Dressing up for dates

[BadBoy89]

This has happened me 3 times lately. I don’t dress up for the date, borderline sloppy, while they dress really well, Needless to say they there is further communication.

Now my car is nice, condo OK, look OK, but I’m not close to 6’1. So a woman takes one look at the height, and, no matter how well a man is dressed, her basic instincts aren’t triggered,

So I figure, if her basic instincts aren’t triggered, she is looking for provider game. And there is no way I’m dressing up for that.

Should a man “dress up” for dates?

 

[Objective]

It seems to me that dressing up for dates can create a good first impresion and create much easier conditions to seduce her. Even so, no matter how well dressed you are, unless you are meeting with 18-20 y.o that are usually easily influenced by superficial attritbutes, you have to have something to capitalize on your good first impresion. No amount of suits can make your game more efficient. I have met many guys that dress well and females notice them yet they are nice guys or they seem a little bit timid. They get initial attention and fail miserably shortly after.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Always. I dress up for everything. If Im working construction, I even have a whole blue collar aesthetic I go for. Never catch me sloppy. It's a matter of dignity. Same with seduction. Why would u deliberatly sabotage your style? I bet that's not helping u at all.

 

[rodriguez]

By default you should always dress well, you will never look bad then...

 

[Gamisch]

By default you should always dress well, you will never look bad then...

This.


Every item in your wardrobe should make you look fresh to death. Even your pyjama.

I mean a dope boxer with a ripped body and every other item on top of that compliments you even further.

You DON'T wanna "dress up" ,only to be exposed as a bum once she meets you more often.

 

[Gamisch]

This.


Every item in your wardrobe should make you look fresh to death. Even your pyjama.

I mean a dope boxer with a ripped body and every other item on top of that compliments you even further.

You DON'T wanna "dress up" ,only to be exposed as a bum once she meets you more often.

Lets take this a few steps further: your crib, bedroom, garden, shower hallway, car ,basement ect. It should ALL be fresh to death...

 

[Dr.Suave]

I dont remember who said it but it was something like "Always be the best dressed man in the room, but not by much".

 

[BadBoy89]

But lets get serious for a minute... why tf are you not dressing up for dates..?

Don’t see the point. At my age these women are just looking for a provider.

I figure if I can’t turn her on with clothes from Costco, I won’t be able to turn her on with designer clothes.

 

[The Duke]

How old are you, what age do you date?

 

[SW15]

But lets get serious for a minute... why tf are you not dressing up for dates..?

Don’t see the point. At my age these women are just looking for a provider.

It seems like you are 40+, so women do see men 40+ as a provider. It's even worse if you are dating women within 5 years of your own age, as 35+ women are often provider hunting, even if they are childless.

Should a man “dress up” for dates?

It should ALL be fresh to death...

It depends on his relationship goals, his age, how the date was arranged, the venue, and his overall physique.

I think a man is best served by emphasizing his physical sexual appeal on a first date.

I don't think a Bumble arranged first date at a mid-tier bar warrants dressing up.

I'm disinclined to dress up for most first date occasions but I will try to look stylish and attractive. I want to do what I can to give vaginal tingles, which could be called fresh to death.

35+ men are more evaluated on money and status, but looks still matter.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

So I figure, if her basic instincts aren’t triggered, she is looking for provider game. And there is no way I’m dressing up for that.

Your world is bleak. Why date at all?

 

[RazorRambo24]

SoSuave never seems to disappoint when it comes to people posting super generalized questions that aren't dependant on a single variable (in this case just being a "date"). A lot of this stuff a child can answer.

It really depends on where you're going. That's the short answer.

You wouldn't dress up for a date that's a stroll in the park. You'd dress down for the beach. You'd dress up for a fancy restaurant, a nice theatre event/play/musical, you'd dress up for a ballroom event, a wedding date, --not to go to Joe's Crab Shack.

Theres many different types of scenarios.. Dress up to the one that makes sense. Its not rocket science.

 

[Manure Spherian]

I figure if I can’t turn her on with clothes from Costco, I won’t be able to turn her on with designer clothes.

This is actually pretty funny. Several women at my job have said I dress well and all the stretchy jeans I wear to work (it’s business casual so colored jeans pass) are Jachs brand and sold at Costco. One said, “You’re the best dressed guy here,” and likely half my stuff is from Costco and Target and bought for me by my wife and family members.

Work on your lower body for a year, put those on, and let me know which dates of yours won’t notice.

If you’re in shape, you can wear whatever freaking brands you want! I showed up to some dates in the past with a fitted V-neck T-shirt and form-fitting jeans and got physical.

Not all brands are outrageously priced. I particularly like Tasso Elba (Macy’s), Nautical, and Polo, and they’re not very expensive. Tasso Elba makes very sharp looking shirts and I’ve gotten compliments by women on every single one I’ve worn, sometimes numerous compliments throughout a day.

I’m reminded of my self-defeating, self-fulfilling prophecy incel days on here lately.

We shouldn’t ever dress bad for anything and as mentioned above, we should dress for occasions. Even for the gym, sometimes I’ll just put on old, worn-out, baggy **** reserved for yard work or sleeping, but most of the time I wear Under Armour and Adidas. And that’s not for women, but for my presentation to people generally. One never knows where he will make a new connection with someone.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You wouldn't dress up for a date that's a stroll in the park. You'd dress down for the beach. You'd dress up for a fancy restaurant, a nice theatre event/play/musical, you'd dress up for a ballroom event, a wedding date, --not to go to Joe's Crab Shack.

Exactly.
Or have a stye that works for you and that's acceptable in all different venues.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

you always feel way more motivated to sharpen your image when you are lifting/working out/eating right. they all compliment each other like a good c0cktail.
A fresh outfit will give you a nice confidence boost even on a sh1tty day.

I get most of my gear from Marshalls, TJ Maxx, Saks Off Fifth, Nordstrom rack , target (goodfellow brand) in upscale/rich areas of the city.
you can find gems of clothes lost in the racks.
Outlets are good hot spots.
Hugo Boss is also a brand I occasionally sport.

wear some fresh clean kicks.
women always notice on what kind of ground you step on.
find a good tailor.

and workout

 

[The Duke]

This has happened me 3 times lately. I don’t dress up for the date, borderline sloppy, while they dress really well, Needless to say they there is further communication.

Now my car is nice, condo OK, look OK, but I’m not close to 6’1. So a woman takes one look at the height, and, no matter how well a man is dressed, her basic instincts aren’t triggered,

So I figure, if her basic instincts aren’t triggered, she is looking for provider game. And there is no way I’m dressing up for that.

Should a man “dress up” for dates?

I don't think your correlation between dressing properly and provider game holds much water.

I've observed a lot over the years. And almost always, women dress nicer than men. Why put road blocks in front of you? You have invested time and money, and then you blow yourself out because you were too lazy to dress decent?

I don't blame these women. Good for them having some damn standards.

This is basic stuff.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

How you dress quietly tells people what you think of yourself. Why tell people you have low self esteem, don’t care about yourself and are cheap?

Because that is what you are communicating without saying a word.

I wear expensive sexy heels, good jewelry, flattering stylish clothing and carry a fashionable handbag. I hate logos. None of my Gucci pieces scream Gucci via a logo. I know men who wear Ferragamo loafers. If you understand the understated language of style you know what to look for whether it’s Ferragamo or Gucci or Hermes or Van Cleef & Arpels. I recognize the subtle language of fashion and so do people in my social circles. If a man shows up looking like he doesn’t give a crap about himself and is unwilling to make an effort to be presentable? He’s toast before he says a word no matter how handsome he is.

He doesn’t have to know all the subtleties of high end designers, but he’s got to be presentable or he’s a poor reflection on me.

Refusal to make an effort in the dressing department does nothing but convince others you are lazy, & don’t care. It says you are a slob.

And that isn’t helping you at all.

It’s funny how much you worry about “provider game”. Who cares. If some chick asks for help with the rent? 1. Say No. 2. Kick her to the curb.

Provider game concerns are dumb. I mean it should only be something you think about if you marry the girl or want her to put her body at risk (yes it’s still a real risk) carrying your babies during pregnancy. If she has a bad pregnancy she might be incapacitated for a bit. Provider game is good in that case so you support your family.

Ditto if you envision a stay at home wife to be home raising your kids. You need to be able to support your family in that case. My son wants his wife to be at home raising children. He wants her free to relocate with him as the military requires. He knows that means he will be the breadwinner and he is planning for that; and he’s with his gf now 4+ years.

In early dating you do not need concern yourself with fear of provider game. Leave your keyboard and go outside more. Seriously.

 

[zekko]

Now my car is nice, condo OK, look OK, but I’m not close to 6’1. So a woman takes one look at the height, and, no matter how well a man is dressed, her basic instincts aren’t triggered,

So I figure, if her basic instincts aren’t triggered, she is looking for provider game. And there is no way I’m dressing up for that.

Sounds to me like you're defeating yourself before you get started. Agree with the post above, who cares if she is looking for provider game? Chances are she will have sex with you either way, assuming that's what you're looking for.