drama

[phillyb]

so, the girl im seeing is at my place, looking at my bulldog because he was injured yesterday. Her dog is in my dog's crate. her animal has a yelping obnoxious barking problem when she is not getting her way. I usually don't get upset and let her handle it. However this time i went over to the crate and hit the CRATE with my maglite, producing a loud noise and ceasing the barking. The chic flips out, says that I should know not to ever do something like this etc. etc. She said she was mad at me but not terribly mad.....I kinda agree with her but i havent apologized completely. I went up to her place because we were supposed to watch a movie together. She said she was mad and willing to put up with my quirks, but that she draws the line when it comes to her dog. I have worked up an apology letter because i suck at face to face apologies, especially for something like this....


Is she overreacting, or do i need to work some magic?

 

[christz]

Dude you smacked her dogs cage.. and sacred the little thing until it stopped barking. and you think she's overracting?

that's like me punching you in the face and you get mad about it and when you wanna hit back I tell you your overracting.

appologize to her face though, giving her a letter is kinda uhh not manish.. are you sacred to say sorry to her face? that's all it takes.

"i'm sorry i got a little outta control and smacked your dogs cage"

don't put a reason behind it though like

"i'm sorry i got a little outta control and smacked your dogs cage, BUT he was being really fuc*in annoying and i couldn't stand it anymore.."

that won't go over well

 

[Silquee Smoove]

i'm sorry

I agree with you 100% christz, but I would word it differently.

Call it semantics if you will, but saying: "I apologize" always sounds more dignified than saying a sheepish "aww I'm sorry".

To each their own though, if you feel an apology issued out of fairness will make you and your reputation look better than by all means.

 

[LikerOfWomen]

does she realize you hit the cage and not the dog?

 

[Interpol]

As someone who owns two dogs and truly enjoys taking care of them...I don't think this is a big deal. The dog wasn't physically hurt, and it's not going to be mentally scarred or anything. If this girl really holds this against you, I'd say she's overreacting.

 

[Caveman]

This is a sign of violence directed towards an animal. Even though you didn't kick the dog itself, I think you may have freaked her out, yes. She might be very worried that next time, you'll choke the dog or something to shut it up.
It was also a sign of being out of control. You lost your cool.

I'd say appologize and like the other guys said, don't make to big a deal of it. Just appologize and let it go. Don't write her a letter.

 

[B9]

Originally posted by Interpol
As someone who owns two dogs and truly enjoys taking care of them...I don't think this is a big deal. The dog wasn't physically hurt, and it's not going to be mentally scarred or anything. If this girl really holds this against you, I'd say she's overreacting.

Have had a dog for 12 years and would agree.

The fact that she considers it such an issue suggests to me she hasn't really trained or disciplined the dog very much.

 

[B9]

Originally posted by Caveman
This is a sign of violence directed towards an animal. Even though you didn't kick the dog itself, I think you may have freaked her out, yes. She might be very worried that next time, you'll choke the dog or something to shut it up.
It was also a sign of being out of control. You lost your cool.

f*cking 'ell it is not! When I drag my dog by its neck when it is deliberately being resistant (thankfully I hardly ever have to do that since she is properly trained) are you telling me that is a sign of violence.

Physical measures ARE a part of dog training, whether it be to direct or restrain. I'd expect anybody who has ever had a dog to be able to dinstinguish between this and even the slightest 'violent' intent.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by B9
Have had a dog for 12 years and would agree.

The fact that she considers it such an issue suggests to me she hasn't really trained or disciplined the dog very much.

It is an issue. Some guy she's dating couldn't handle her dog's barking and hit the dog's crate. That's gotta be a red flag for her. For all she knows you might draw off and punch or kick her dog the next time. On top of that, just the fact that she's crating her dog and you mentioned "bulldog" I'm guessing it's a pitbull. (My favorite breed) If you're showing any kind of aggression, whatsoever, to a pit...you shouldn't be. Those dogs have a bad enough reputation as it is without doing anything that would lead them to be fearful and aggressive towards people. It takes a lot of responsibility dealing with a pit around other animals because of the natural gameness they have...she doesn't want her dog aggressive towards people...especially since they aren't naturally agressive towards people at all. That only happens when some duma$$ puts the dog in a situation where it feels like it's guarding someone or something, inbreeds or abuses a pit.

(If it's not a pit you're talking about...you still shouldn't be kicking or hitting the crate, but even moreso if it IS a pit.)

*on edit...you said your dog was injured. If you have pits and you're fighting them...you should be shot.

 

[Caveman]

Originally posted by B9
f*cking 'ell it is not! When I drag my dog by its neck when it is deliberately being resistant (thankfully I hardly ever have to do that since she is properly trained) are you telling me that is a sign of violence.

Physical measures ARE a part of dog training, whether it be to direct or restrain. I'd expect anybody who has ever had a dog to be able to dinstinguish between this and even the slightest 'violent' intent.

Hitting a crate to shut a dog up could hardly be concidered training. I agree with the dragging by the the neck since this is the way their parents would have trained them.
My point is: Hitting a crate because a dog is annoying him, makes his actions violent (it was an outburst) and unpredictable and therefor, yes, it would be a red flag for the girl.

 

[SDFUandDie]

Originally posted by christz
that's like me punching you in the face and you get mad about it and when you wanna hit back I tell you your overracting.

Geezus Christ!

Its not like you hit the dog!

How is this a good comparison?

Tell the bitc*h to SDFU and relax.

She is way overracting.

 

[huge_guy_pimpin]

id say next her, not because shes a problem, but because you are a ****en idiot, u dont know how to apologize without seeming like a panzy, and u aint gonna get in her pants if u cant do this properly.

 

[B9]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
It is an issue. Some guy she's dating couldn't handle her dog's barking and hit the dog's crate. That's gotta be a red flag for her. For all she knows you might draw off and punch or kick her dog the next time.

Wow, I hadn't thought of it like that. In that case, I think you should dump her asap, philly. if she follows this logic she is bound to think you are gonna slap her face around the first time you raise your voice against her. Dump her before you get the police on your back, mate!

On top of that, just the fact that she's crating her dog and you mentioned "bulldog" I'm guessing it's a pitbull. (My favorite breed) If you're showing any kind of aggression, whatsoever, to a pit...you shouldn't be. Those dogs have a bad enough reputation as it is without doing anything that would lead them to be fearful and aggressive towards people. It takes a lot of responsibility dealing with a pit around other animals because of the natural gameness they have...she doesn't want her dog aggressive towards people.

I might just agree that there was an error with his interference, if we are talking about him using a disciplinary approach contrary to what she might be using.

it appears from what he tells however that the main problem is not contrary methods of training, but a *lack* of training.

I have never had a pit, only German Shepherds (whom a lot of people are fearful of as well). Particularly with dogs like this, it is paramount that you give them at least some basic training if you expect them to be around other people. An elementary part of that training is having the dog shut up on command.

If she haven't prepared the dog to be around strangers like that, then surely she has to accept that responsibility that misunderstandings are likely to occur?

As for myself, if it were my dog and it was young (I have only ever encountered such rebelliousness among yougnsters) and it persisted in its yelping over some trivial issue it isn't gonna get its way over anyway, then yes I might be inclined to hit the crate and shock it into submission. Establishing the dog in its role in the family heriarchy is far more important than whatever shock it might experience from that. If you let them get away with sh1t like that eventually they just become impossible to discipline and the consequence of that is that you can't have them around other people.

 

[Wyldfire]

If a person can't control themselves and their frustrations with a pet they shouldn't own them.

And B9, Pitbulls and German Shephards are totally different. I've had one GS and several pits. Pitbulls are incredibly strong and persistent. If they become aggressive towards people and bite a person, they go straight for the throat and hold on, and shake. Shephards just randomly bite over and over again. If a pit gets hold of a another animal or person it's really hard to break their hold. No, their jaws don't "lock" as the myth goes...but they won't let go. You can only get them to let go by sticking a hose of running water into the corner of their mouth, using a break stick or killing them. This is why you hear about people dying from pits attacking them. Most people don't know how to get them to let go, and they won't willingly unless either they or the thing they've got hold of is dead.

You do NOT hit the crate of a pitbull or use intimidation in any way to train them. You use rewards for good behavior. If you aren't getting anywhere, you take them to obedience classes. Even if it's not a pit, you still don't make a dog timid of people by losing your cool and lashing out at them, even if by not hitting them, but just intimidating them.

 

[B9]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
If a person can't control themselves and their frustrations with a pet they shouldn't own them.

And B9, Pitbulls and German Shephards are totally different. I've had one GS and several pits. Pitbulls are incredibly strong and persistent. If they become aggressive towards people and bite a person, they go straight for the throat and hold on, and shake. Shephards just randomly bite over and over again. If a pit gets hold of a another animal or person it's really hard to break their hold. No, their jaws don't "lock" as the myth goes...but they won't let go. You can only get them to let go by sticking a hose of running water into the corner of their mouth, using a break stick or killing them. This is why you hear about people dying from pits attacking them. Most people don't know how to get them to let go, and they won't willingly unless either they or the thing they've got hold of is dead.

You do NOT hit the crate of a pitbull or use intimidation in any way to train them. You use rewards for good behavior. If you aren't getting anywhere, you take them to obedience classes. Even if it's not a pit, you still don't make a dog timid of people by losing your cool and lashing out at them, even if by not hitting them, but just intimidating them.

whilst I agree that positive training should be the mainstay of training, you also do need some negative to establish borders. Initially (or in the case of a dog that simply never got the proper trainign) that does involve intimidation. You have to actually 'destroy' any notions the dog might harbour about higher status than you are willing to give it.

As for getting it to release, would not the same trick work as with any other dog and simply force a finger down its throat, through the corner of its mouth?

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by B9
whilst I agree that positive training should be the mainstay of training, you also do need some negative to establish borders. Initially (or in the case of a dog that simply never got the proper trainign) that does involve intimidation. You have to actually 'destroy' any notions the dog might harbour about higher status than you are willing to give it.

As for getting it to release, would not the same trick work as with any other dog and simply force a finger down its throat, through the corner of its mouth?

That's basically what a "break stick" is. But because pits are so strong and persistent about NOT letting go, and the shaking, the finger isn't going to be very effective. The break stick works in the same way...but it WILL work, providing you know how to use it.

I've had many dogs in my lifetime, and all were very well behaved. Intimidation never was used. Positive reinforcement and patience work wonders.

 

[B9]

wyldfire,

I simply cannot believe you have trained your dog only with positive reinforcement, when it decides to take a dump on the carpet or gnaw at your furniture or jump in them or whatever.

As for any intimidation traning I would only ever use that when dealing with actual persistent rebellious behaviour (as said, I've only encountered that from young ones). If it becomes a pattern to the training, I agree that there is a problem with the training.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by B9
wyldfire,

I simply cannot believe you have trained your dog only with positive reinforcement, when it decides to take a dump on the carpet or gnaw at your furniture or jump in them or whatever.

As for any intimidation traning I would only ever use that when dealing with actual persistent rebellious behaviour (as said, I've only encountered that from young ones). If it becomes a pattern to the training, I agree that there is a problem with the training.

When house breaking a dog the WORST thing you can do is intimidate them when they go on the floor. They instincitvely think you are punishing them for the act of going, not for where they went. You take them out often and praise them profusely when they go outside. As for chewing...all puppies will chew...they have to for healthy teeth. That's why you provide them with toys and rawhide to get them from chewing on the things you don't want them to chew on. The key is to develop a routine and stick to it, and house breaking really isn't that difficult. You can pretty well control when a dog has to go by the time you feed them. If you feed them at the same time every day, they will have to go at the same time every day.

 

[smoke city]

Give me a break.
The damn dog will be fine.
She's overreacting.
As far as "losing control" goes--melodramatic women love to orchestrate and spin these reactions into sweeping character flaws. They're often the same women who threaten to break up with you if you don't get along with their cat.
Someone else's dog barking and carrying on in YOUR place is extremely annoying and you do NOT have to put up with it. PERIOD.
I personally would have just said something, like:
"Please, either get the dog to shut the f*ck up or put it outside."