girl_in_a_boy_forum
Senior Don Juan
THIS WILL BE LONG
I’ll start with a quick background about myself and my way of thinking. I think it’s critical to understand one another’s backstory and general philosophy, because often that is a root of misunderstanding and argument. However, if you’re the overly impatient type or just don’t care, skip down to the part that starts with **.
I’m a college girl, age 19. I have many academic interests, namely foreign languages (French and Japanese), Occupational Therapy, and gender studies. The latter would be my “reason” for poking around sosuave: I find it interesting to see how a given genre of men view women and their approaches on the matter. I have a wonderful boyfriend and I am strictly long-term—no one night stands or f*ck buddies for me, thank you. I don’t have anything against those things, it just isn’t a lifestyle that suits me. When reading the comments I post around sosuave, it’s important to understand the type of relationships I invest myself in, because that very much impacts my responses.
Yes, I am young, but I am also smart, experienced to my own degree, and confident in my abilities.
**Now, to respond to lookyoung’s question: “What the hell are you doing with a short, broke, asian guy?”
Oh man, if I got a cookie every time someone asked me that, I’d be on Jenny Craig. XD
The answer is simple yet adopts an almost boorishly long format. We were very close friends who happened to have strong feelings for each other, yet thought we were in each other’s Friend Zone. Finally, I was fed up with keeping my feelings to myself, made the first move, kissed him, and then the truth was out. To break it down, I suppose it would be most efficient to address the following topics:
1. height
2. money
3. race
1. Vu is four inches shorter than me. I am 5’8”. Many women won’t date a shorter man, and likewise most men refuse to date a taller woman. On one level, I understand (it’s an instinctual reaction we really can’t help), and on another, more substantial level I think it’s ridiculous to let something like height get in the way of a great relationship. It’s like refusing to date people with blond hair or another physical trait they have no control over. (I am not, however, saying that attraction is completely unimportant; I believe there does need to be a degree of physical attraction in a relationship.)
That said, I’ve never really noticed Vu’s height. All that time in the supposed Friend Zone, Vu thought I wouldn’t want to date him because of the height difference. And you know what? Height is only an issue if you make it an issue. It really doesn’t bother us. We still go everywhere and kiss in public. And no, penis size really doesn’t matter—it’s technique that counts.
2. My boyfriend is, literally, from the ghetto. His family hardly has any money and he got to school completely on scholarships (he is SMART). When he’s not in class, he works 12-hour days at his family’s restaurant. He doesn’t have the big bucks. As I mentioned in the other thread: Money isn't the most important thing I look for in a man. While I would never say that "money doesn't matter" (because, in the long run, it does to an extent) I would never date a guy just because of his paycheck. Personality is the first thing I look for.
3. Vu and his entire family are from Vietnam. His parents don’t speak much English; he speaks English and Vietnamese with equal fluency. In my eyes, love is colorblind. Race shouldn’t matter. Cultural differences can, viably, break up a relationship, but the race itself should not be a factor. Like height, it’s only an issue if you make it one. I see absolutely nothing wrong with a white girl like me dating an asian.
My family had no problems with Vu’s Vietnamese-ness. They like him a lot. It was his family, actually, that had qualms with the interracial nature of our relationship. They are very traditional and want him to only date (and, ultimately, marry) traditional Vietnamese girls. They were upset at first about him dating me, but, over time, have become much more accepting of me.
I am not writing myself off as amazing or trying to put myself up there on a pedestal. As a matter of fact, I hate being pedestalized, if there ever was such a word. The purpose of this response is to provide an example to all you fine gentlemen that not all women are into rich bodybuilders that stand at about 6’4”. Not all women are airheads, superficial, or apt to turn a blind eye to what the media tells us is less-than-adequate. There are real people out there: have a little faith, eh?
I do not expect comments or people to nod and agree with me. I will not argue with you; you’ve already read my opinion. If you want to pass me by because I’m a woman, go ahead, it’s an interesting trend I’ve noticed on these forums.
Please feel free to pm me with questions, epiphanies, etc. I’ll reply honestly unless it’s something along the lines of “Lolz, boobies.” XD
Thank you for your time and good night.
First off, a big thank you to lookyoung for the flattering smorgasbord of compliments. This quote is from the “Rich BUT still fail with women(myth?)” thread, but I decided to post my response as a new thread primarily for selfish reasons, namely that more people might read this.lookyoung said:
I’ll start with a quick background about myself and my way of thinking. I think it’s critical to understand one another’s backstory and general philosophy, because often that is a root of misunderstanding and argument. However, if you’re the overly impatient type or just don’t care, skip down to the part that starts with **.
I’m a college girl, age 19. I have many academic interests, namely foreign languages (French and Japanese), Occupational Therapy, and gender studies. The latter would be my “reason” for poking around sosuave: I find it interesting to see how a given genre of men view women and their approaches on the matter. I have a wonderful boyfriend and I am strictly long-term—no one night stands or f*ck buddies for me, thank you. I don’t have anything against those things, it just isn’t a lifestyle that suits me. When reading the comments I post around sosuave, it’s important to understand the type of relationships I invest myself in, because that very much impacts my responses.
Yes, I am young, but I am also smart, experienced to my own degree, and confident in my abilities.
**Now, to respond to lookyoung’s question: “What the hell are you doing with a short, broke, asian guy?”
Oh man, if I got a cookie every time someone asked me that, I’d be on Jenny Craig. XD
The answer is simple yet adopts an almost boorishly long format. We were very close friends who happened to have strong feelings for each other, yet thought we were in each other’s Friend Zone. Finally, I was fed up with keeping my feelings to myself, made the first move, kissed him, and then the truth was out. To break it down, I suppose it would be most efficient to address the following topics:
1. height
2. money
3. race
1. Vu is four inches shorter than me. I am 5’8”. Many women won’t date a shorter man, and likewise most men refuse to date a taller woman. On one level, I understand (it’s an instinctual reaction we really can’t help), and on another, more substantial level I think it’s ridiculous to let something like height get in the way of a great relationship. It’s like refusing to date people with blond hair or another physical trait they have no control over. (I am not, however, saying that attraction is completely unimportant; I believe there does need to be a degree of physical attraction in a relationship.)
That said, I’ve never really noticed Vu’s height. All that time in the supposed Friend Zone, Vu thought I wouldn’t want to date him because of the height difference. And you know what? Height is only an issue if you make it an issue. It really doesn’t bother us. We still go everywhere and kiss in public. And no, penis size really doesn’t matter—it’s technique that counts.
2. My boyfriend is, literally, from the ghetto. His family hardly has any money and he got to school completely on scholarships (he is SMART). When he’s not in class, he works 12-hour days at his family’s restaurant. He doesn’t have the big bucks. As I mentioned in the other thread: Money isn't the most important thing I look for in a man. While I would never say that "money doesn't matter" (because, in the long run, it does to an extent) I would never date a guy just because of his paycheck. Personality is the first thing I look for.
3. Vu and his entire family are from Vietnam. His parents don’t speak much English; he speaks English and Vietnamese with equal fluency. In my eyes, love is colorblind. Race shouldn’t matter. Cultural differences can, viably, break up a relationship, but the race itself should not be a factor. Like height, it’s only an issue if you make it one. I see absolutely nothing wrong with a white girl like me dating an asian.
My family had no problems with Vu’s Vietnamese-ness. They like him a lot. It was his family, actually, that had qualms with the interracial nature of our relationship. They are very traditional and want him to only date (and, ultimately, marry) traditional Vietnamese girls. They were upset at first about him dating me, but, over time, have become much more accepting of me.
I am not writing myself off as amazing or trying to put myself up there on a pedestal. As a matter of fact, I hate being pedestalized, if there ever was such a word. The purpose of this response is to provide an example to all you fine gentlemen that not all women are into rich bodybuilders that stand at about 6’4”. Not all women are airheads, superficial, or apt to turn a blind eye to what the media tells us is less-than-adequate. There are real people out there: have a little faith, eh?
I do not expect comments or people to nod and agree with me. I will not argue with you; you’ve already read my opinion. If you want to pass me by because I’m a woman, go ahead, it’s an interesting trend I’ve noticed on these forums.
Please feel free to pm me with questions, epiphanies, etc. I’ll reply honestly unless it’s something along the lines of “Lolz, boobies.” XD
Thank you for your time and good night.
