Down For a 9 Count But Not Out Yet (long, but funny)

InvisibleMan

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insomniac said:
If you're interested in making friends (which should be your focus right now, rather than meeting women), then there's a fundamental problem with the places you're looking. You'll see people at these things once or twice, and then that's it. Friendships are built over time, not instantly with one meeting (I make exceptions for women, who seem to have no problem meeting for the first time and be exchanging phone numbers within an hour).
Exceptions for women who have no problem exchanging phone numbers? Geez, I wish I could meet some of those women. Whenever I ask a woman for her phone number, you'd think I was asking for their Social Security, credit card, & pin #s all rolled up in one package.
insomniac said:
You need to be going places where you're going to be seeing the same people over and over again, and who are there for the purpose of doing something together with other people. Yes, you might see the same people at the gym or library, but their main reason for being there is not to meet people.

Clubs are a great place for this. Not dancing/drinking clubs, but recreational/hobby type clubs. People go to these because they like to do something, and they like to do it with other people. If not, they'd just do it alone, right? It's the perfect environment.

Take me for example. I joined a sporting club a few years ago that met about once a week. It was a large mix of people, but I noticed a group of them who would get together apart from when the club met. I made an effort to talk to these guys and eventually became friends with them. On top of that, there were a lot of single women in this club. I ended up going out with four of them, and met my current girlfriend through another one. I'm not even that sociable or outgoing of a person, but I still made friends there.

My advice is this: Find out what you like to do, find a group who does also, and join it. You might have to initiate more at first, but these people are very open to making new friends.
My interests are reading, and cycling. I don't have much time for anything else. And I don't know if you've been to a book club group ever but they're filled with middle-aged Oprah watchers. Cycling clubs I have joined are mostly a bunch of guys but if there is a woman she is there with a spouse or boyfriend. That's why I've been TRYING to do stuff that I DON'T like to do, 'cause it gets me out more.


- Invisible Man
 
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ProDJ26

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it's all in your thinking IMO. Although I'm in crap times myself right now the important thing to remeber is it won't all happen over night. I 2 have been doing bootcamp exercises and want results. I'm skinny and 150ibls. Aiming for 180. Am I gonna get it by *****ing about not gaining weight or am I gonna get up of my ass and do somthing about it. (I'll choose the latter thank you) As far as your situation goes **** the Women thats right you don't need em. IMO your just like me. But don't worry Bro your time is coming. I see it like this...Your a Prince a Kingdom waiting patiently to be King. Again as the old saying goes...The world is your mirror
 

2cirius

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IM, someone keeps deleting my posts, and why did this get moved to the kiddie section?

But you may just have to get used to being alone. You seem to be completely unable to BOND with people. You have no friends and are unable to make them. And if and when you DO get a date you're going to have to BOND with that person.

I bet women are able to sense this inability in you immediately when they see you. No matter how good looking you are, no one wants to be around someone who is either unable or has an inability to bond. It's pretty weird. Have you ever thought that you were just meant to be alone? You seem like an ultimate loner. Maybe you should just deal with it.


~~~~~2cirius~~~~~
 

InvisibleMan

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2cirius said:
IM, someone keeps deleting my posts, and why did this get moved to the kiddie section?

But you may just have to get used to being alone. You seem to be completely unable to BOND with people. You have no friends and are unable to make them. And if and when you DO get a date you're going to have to BOND with that person.

I bet women are able to sense this inability in you immediately when they see you. No matter how good looking you are, no one wants to be around someone who is either unable or has an inability to bond. It's pretty weird. Have you ever thought that you were just meant to be alone? You seem like an ultimate loner. Maybe you should just deal with it.
I don't know why it got moved in here. This thread will just get lost faster, but that's good, because I think you may be right. I can't bond. That's probably why women don't give me any "signs" either. They must sense in me a complete coldness. I don't know how to fix that. It's ingrained.

I'm going to take Grinder's advice and just leave the board. Thanks for all the help guys, but some men are meant to be lone wolves. I won't be coming back. I've given up.


- Invisible Man
 
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Desdinova

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Thanks for all the help guys, but some men are meant to be lone wolves.
Uhhhh.... Bible material? :D

I can't bond.
It absolutely amazes me how some guys can just say "I can't do this, it's too hard" and quit, especially when it comes to something they want so bad.

I won't be coming back. I've given up.
As the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

^ ^ ^ Why are you trying to help someone who obviously isn't ready to be helped ??
If he didn't want help, he wouldn't have come to this forum. Unfortunately, this seems to be one of those cases where the guy is looking for the magical quick fix, and has discovered that it doesn't exist. If he truly believes that it's easier to be lonely than to do the work it takes to better himself, nobody's going to change his mind.

I have no problem offering help to people like this. Besides, if he doesn't take the help, someone else reading this thread might benefit from it.
 

InvisibleMan

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Desdinova said:
It absolutely amazes me how some guys can just say "I can't do this, it's too hard" and quit, especially when it comes to something they want so bad.
It's not too hard. It's impossible. There is some unstoppable invisible force at work against me. I told you I feel like a mosquito trying to stop a steamroller.
Desdinova said:
As the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.
I am so alienated and ostracized from society, I don't even know what water is and it kills me to drink it.
Desdinova said:
If he didn't want help, he wouldn't have come to this forum. Unfortunately, this seems to be one of those cases where the guy is looking for the magical quick fix, and has discovered that it doesn't exist. If he truly believes that it's easier to be lonely than to do the work it takes to better himself, nobody's going to change his mind.

I have no problem offering help to people like this. Besides, if he doesn't take the help, someone else reading this thread might benefit from it.
Quick fix? You DO know how old I am right? I've been working at this since I was 16 or whenever that age comes when you look at a girl's butt and think "Hmmm, that looks kinda nice." That's 20+ years of this bullsh!t.


- IM
 

ElChoclo

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Could someone please volunteer to be this tool's wing. I can't because I am over 10,000 kilometres away.
 

2cirius

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I think Invisible Man is gone, but he raised some good points that no one seems to be able to answer. You guys always talk about the "I have a boyfriend" response as being a sh*t test, but to how can this EVER be a good thing when women say this? No woman who is REALLY into you will ever say this. A confident man will move on to the next woman, and an unconfident man will just shut up. So what kind of a test is that? It's a lose-lose test for the woman, unless SHE REALLY HAS A BOYFRIEND and/or really wants him to go away? If she really wanted to go out with him, a woman would never say this because she'd be afraid he would go away.

Also, many guys on here were saying you should do things YOU want to do, not something that will allow you to meet women. IM raised the point that we go to college to get a better job, not because we like to go to college. We go to work because we need to make money, not because we like our jobs. We all have ulterior motives in life.

And I'm beginning to think someone like IM who seems to be socially inept probably needs some instruction. Have you ever tried to learn something like Karate from a book or website? It's impossible. You need someone to show you HOW to do something. Someone to physically be there to SHOW you what you are doing wrong. You can't learn karate from text and pictures. And if you try to learn it from a book or website, you'll never have any feedback if you're doing something right or wrong.

There's a lot of conflicting information around here. And a lot of people are talking out of their ass. It's no wonder people get fed up and leave.


~~~~~2cirius~~~~~~
 

skip2mylou781

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2cirius said:
I think Invisible Man is gone, but he raised some good points that no one seems to be able to answer. You guys always talk about the "I have a boyfriend" response as being a sh*t test, but to how can this EVER be a good thing when women say this? No woman who is REALLY into you will ever say this. A confident man will move on to the next woman, and an unconfident man will just shut up. So what kind of a test is that? It's a lose-lose test for the woman, unless SHE REALLY HAS A BOYFRIEND and/or really wants him to go away? If she really wanted to go out with him, a woman would never say this because she'd be afraid he would go away.

Also, many guys on here were saying you should do things YOU want to do, not something that will allow you to meet women. IM raised the point that we go to college to get a better job, not because we like to go to college. We go to work because we need to make money, not because we like our jobs. We all have ulterior motives in life.

And I'm beginning to think someone like IM who seems to be socially inept probably needs some instruction. Have you ever tried to learn something like Karate from a book or website? It's impossible. You need someone to show you HOW to do something. Someone to physically be there to SHOW you what you are doing wrong. You can't learn karate from text and pictures. And if you try to learn it from a book or website, you'll never have any feedback if you're doing something right or wrong.

There's a lot of conflicting information around here. And a lot of people are talking out of their ass. It's no wonder people get fed up and leave.


~~~~~2cirius~~~~~~
right on!!! look for my thread on this that i just made.
 

Desdinova

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I guess you haven't quit, then.

I've been working at this since I was 16 or whenever that age comes when you look at a girl's butt and think "Hmmm, that looks kinda nice." That's 20+ years of this bullsh!t.
If you've been approaching the subject of women the same way, and have had the same attitude toward them for 20+ years, you're not going to change overnight, let alone in three weeks solely from reading books.

I am so alienated and ostracized from society, I don't even know what water is and it kills me to drink it.
If you were alienated from society, you wouldn't be in this predicament. It is SOCIETY that has put a huge amount of emphasis on the importance of having a woman. It is also SOCIETY who has taught men the "proper" way to treat women. This is why so many men fail with women - they go with what society defines as "proper".

If society didn't have any influence on you, you would do what you feel is natural. You'd approach a woman, drag her ass back to your place, and fvck her brains out. However, there are laws that call this "rape". To eliminate "rape", you need to fill in some extra interaction between the approach and dragging her ass to bed.

If you were referring to the whole "interacting with humans" problem, do what I did and FORCE yourself to interact with people. FORCE yourself to initiate conversation with strangers. The more you do this, the more natural it becomes. It's like training yourself to have a habit. Once you develope the habit of conversing with strangers, you no longer have to worry about it.

I realize that you're starting from the bottom of the social ladder, but climbing that ladder isn't impossible. If you make it a goal to overcome these "problems" instead of whining about it, you're going to progress much better.
 

Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

2cirius

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Desdinova said:
If you've been approaching the subject of women the same way, and have had the same attitude toward them for 20+ years, you're not going to change overnight, let alone in three weeks solely from reading books.
He said he's asked something like 100 women out in 2 months with no results. I'd say that's indicative of a serious malfunction somewhere.
Desdinova said:
If you were referring to the whole "interacting with humans" problem, do what I did and FORCE yourself to interact with people. FORCE yourself to initiate conversation with strangers. The more you do this, the more natural it becomes. It's like training yourself to have a habit. Once you develope the habit of conversing with strangers, you no longer have to worry about it.

I realize that you're starting from the bottom of the social ladder, but climbing that ladder isn't impossible. If you make it a goal to overcome these "problems" instead of whining about it, you're going to progress much better.
This probably isn't going to be too popular with people here, but shouldn't you figure out what you're doing wrong first? You're climbing on a horse and getting thrown off 100 times in a row and you think it's wise to get back on again? I'd say figure out whtat the problem is first. And for this you need someone to SHOW you HOW to do something. You're reading all this bullsh*t and none of it is working because it's like reading a book that tells you how to fight. You can't READ it and learn it, you have to have someone to SHOW you HOW to do it.


~~~~~2cirius~~~~~
 

InvisibleMan

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That's the whole problem. I don't KNOW what I'm doing wrong. I'm following all the rules and doing the work and I get NOTHING. I operate in a vacuum. All I know is what I'm doing WRONG and that's apparently EVERYTHING. So I try out different stuff and that doesn't work, and now I've run out of stuff to try.


- Invisible Man
 

danielzxc

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It doesn't take much to bond, IM. People's common humanity is usually enough for two strangers waiting for the bus to be able to enjoy a (at least) brief bond based on nothing more than simply sharing the experience of being alive. What it seems to take for this tok work, though, is to let your hair down a bit and set a side your "prejudices" -- not the evil sort, just pre-set ways of looking at the world and pre-set ideas and expectations you have about people and about talking to them -- and just take people as nothing more than fellow human beings -- at least in the beginning stages. That way, you don't accidentally eliminate any potentially solid candidates.

Now, in your situation, you're probably thinking that you would be friends with ANYONE (at least "friends" for the purposes of feeling that you made a friend), and so YOU already ARE the "accepting type" of person. But I would say that's more an act on your part. You fake it because you have ulterior motives (which is fine, 'cos we all do) but really most of these people you are probably busily judging in the back of your mind, and if you were to be honest, you would amdit you're not really interested in them. People seem to be able to see through that though. That's why I'm saying to you to start seeing people on a more "fundamental" level, where their "boring interests" or "silly dramas" or whatever other criteria you judge people on don't matter so much. The idea isn't so much to do this as a bootcamp exercise and mark it off the "to do" list. Rather, the idea is you get MORE COMFORTABLE around people based on having only the most common of human experiences in common with them -- you learn to/come to appreciate people simply as people better. That should really loosen up your peronality. And reading your posts and looking at your pic in your profile, your personality really does seem to require loosening up.

If you have "been" a certain way for so long, it's only natural that if you try to be different it's going to seem VERY WEIRD and UNNATURAL and your brain will probably scream STOP IT!!!! I mean, it takes "normal" people (people with more "normal" levels of social life than you) at LEAST a few months, probably, to get used to doing things differently, and looking at the world in a different way, so for YOU, who has been "out of the loop" so to speak, for virtually your whole life, it's reasonable to think it would take longer. (And yeah, you've been "trying" for 20 years (or whatever you claim) but you didn't have this sort of information and help from others back then, so take that into account.)
 
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