Dos and Dont's on first date, Community Thread.

[JimmyZ]

GUIDELINES - Dos and Dont's on first date, Community Thread.

hey guys,
it was thinking that for all the stuff that is here, there isn't a single list of dos and don't on the first time you're alone with a chick... not intrested in the whys, am sure that the bad ones will get ripped to **** atomatically, so here goes:

Do:

• choose a neutral or home territory.
• relax, and chill, remember that you don't need this chick.
• ask her about what she is lookign for in a mate
• groom before you go
• make her smile and laugh
• allow for silence
• look her in the eyes.
• make physical contact, ie. kino. preferably the hands and not the shoulders.

Don't

• take her to an expensive restaurent
• take her to the movies
• have any targets, just look to have fun
• ask about the girl before you take her out,
• tell her you like her, you love her or anyhting of the sort.
• call her more than once in the day prior to the date.
• ask her what she wants to do.

 

[noneother]

Do: ask what she's looking for in a mate?!? are you serious! that comes off as desperate

 

[sexy_kuta]

i think.. we should add this one too

NO SEX!!!! it fuks everything up

and no kiss on first date..

the girl will think "wow he didnt kiss me i wonder why! he must be cool"

 

[Eccentric]

Oh my God... What is this ****?

Ask what she's looking for? NEVER talk about religion, politics, or relationships on a date. EVER.

Touch at the hands rather than shoulders? Girls love that. I'll give them a shoulder massage, and whisper something in their ear. It drives them crazy. Usually they'll grab my hands while I'm massaging, and she'll caress them. BAM perfect kiss oppertunity. It's way more intimate as well. This is the "fairytale" stuff they love, not flowers.

No kiss on the first date? I hope that was sarcasm. Girls are out with you FOR A REASON! She's attracted to you in one way or another. And you're going to deny yourself a lip lock? If you don't kiss her on the first date, you're not cool. You're weak because you lack confidence to make YOUR OWN MOVE, and go after something YOU WANT. She knows you want to kiss her as well, she's not an idiot. If this kiss is unpredictable, you'll send a million butterflies to her stomach. It's the telegraphed kiss that they hate.

 

[Vincent]

Ask what she's looking for? NEVER talk about religion, politics, or relationships on a date. EVER.

I have the same three rules while drinking. For some reason those 3 always seem to screw up a good evening.

I think this would also be a great place to post a list of "Good/bad places" to go on the first date. Just a couple things, I'd like to see this thread do well, so no low content posts. If you're not suggesting something or posting something relevant to the topic don't post at all. This means no "Great idea" etc. And be sure you explain your reasoning behind your opinion. I will be deleting any posts that are lacking in content.

Good Date places

• Coffee shop
• Window shopping at a mall/downtown
• Ice skating
• Mini-golf
• A park

Bad date places

• Restaurant
• Movie

 

[Lifeforce]

DO

Analyze the situation you are in and forget all Do's and Don'ts. If the girl is politicly active and you are too, then if you touch that subject it's so OK. The only thing you should do on a date is analyze the situation and see what would be OK not OK to do. That's it! Almost all Do or Don'ts have one fatal flaw and that's because they do not take into consideration of what you are doing, where you are or who you are. For them to be correct they would have to look like:

"Do
If the girl is a feminist punk-bandplaying girl who studies for plumbing and has not have a mother who have died in a car crash, you may say: XXXWDwdwDW"


DON'TS

Don't force the theroretical Do or Don'ts dictate what you do in real life.

 

[Vincent]

Lifeforce did you even read the first post? There are no "rules" but things to keep in mind to overcome AFC tendancies that most posters have. I know most experienced posters don't need to remember to make eye contact because it's something we've been doing. But someone new to this don't realize how important eye contact/kino can be. Don't be so quick to judge and snap at the OP.

 

[Lifeforce]

Yeah, I read the post and I read similar posts when I learned the game and the thing I did wrong was to follow all this do and don'ts, I had trouble unlearning the worthless stuff. IMO work on the things which hold your confidence back. Go out and Screw up and then either analyze what you did wrong or come back here and get help figuring out what you did wrong. That's what helped me immensly more than do or don't lists.

If you are learning it's very easy to take one Do to the extreme and make it a rule and not doing it at all. I don't know how many DJs who never give the girl flowers or tell her they love her just because it's AFC (in their opinion) even more who have to be so ****ing C&F all the time, it's all about learning the apropriate time for everything and you won't learn it with Do and don'ts. And chances are if you are AFC then you probably don't even know how to implement most stuff. C'mon, "You don't need her" is the last thing the guy is gonna think. That takes some realizing your own value to do. I don't want to come off as an idiot but it's what I really believe.

 

[SamePendo]

Ok.

These threads don't work out because the idea of one guy to another of a good date, or stuff to do won't ever fit. For example, I could argue with Vincent about how windowshopping is so lame bla bla, and with the original poster on movies.

So, do's and don'ts won't do it, we'll have different tastes. What will coincide will be that we're doing whatever the **** we want.

If I want to go shopping, why not take her with me? If I feel like watching a movie, why not take her with me? If you feel like taking a walk through the park with her, for whatever macho reason, go ahead. You do whatever the **** you want. If you feel like doing whatever she wants to do... well, go ahead. As long as it's what you want, not her.

Funny thing is, once you spend more time on yourself, more brainwaves on yourself, and less on women, the more they will be attracted to you.

All the basics on do's and dont's for newbies have been covered in the bible.

 

[everywomanshero]

Some basic groundrules can be helpful. The problem is guys rarely follow them. When they do break them and it screws everything up, they just keep doing it for some reason. Just because something works once doesn't mean it works as a general rule. See Below for my theory on this:

I've taken girls out to eat and watch a movie and gotten laid as a result. Yes, by a hot former stripper turned vet. assistant who was a wild party gal. I've also done it and didn't get laid. It is a 30$ experiment. When you have her over to watch a movie, there is a much greater chance of scoring and you're only out 5$. HOw? Burn a movie on DVD, get some cheap caviar-wine-crackers, and don't have anywhere for her to watch the movie but your bedroom. There is an outside chance she won't go for this, but at least this way you saved 25$ you'd oherwise spend to find out you're friendzoned.

Here is how I would rate date ideas:
1. Your place to watch movie... almost garuanteed lay
2. Her place to watch movie... excellent lay chance
3. "token" outing... anywhere close by you go first so she doesn' feel cheap
Token outings could be window shopping or ice scating or a game of pool just depending on the chic.
4. Swinger club... only if you think you can get away with it or to be funny if she's a prude. Guys who aren't good with women will never do this, because they don't understand how curious most women are about sex. Yes, as long as it seems like an official business, therefore socially acceptable, many girls will go along with it. I took a 21 virgin to a swinger club/strip bar, and after we left she admitted that she wished we would've sat with a particular couple there to find out more.
5. Club w/free dance lessons.. I put this on here, because I think learning how to dance is helpful. You're getting some training on her clock .
6. Somewhere to talk.. I would only do this if I were going there anyway, and I wanted to test if she will even show up. I would only do this on possible flakes. If she's that paranoid, I don't really want to be bothered with her. I bring headphone with me, so I can do something productive while I wait. I never allow a chic to waste my time.

Agreed that it's best to never discuss ex's unless you're a true Jedi master. Most guys will sound too negative or make her wonder if you're going to talk about her behind her back. Additionally, you must have very bad taste to date someone crappy or be a sucker to let a wonderful one get away. It's a trap even though sometimes it will give you awesome results if it's funny.

 

[JimmyZ]

do's:
1. Smile.
2. Don't interview her
3. whenever you make a decision, stick to it.
4. If she is getting really annoying, end the date.
5. Finish on a high note.
6. Be desireless.
7. Open doors,

don't
1.don't discuss previeous relationships (thx. everywomanshero)
2. Stutter,
3. Don't let her dictate anything
4. Aim for a specific outcome
5. Bend to her will,
6. ask her if she had fun, if she did, she will let you know.

 

[Duke]

Movies aren't a bad place at all. It allows for good kino escalation. Just talk with her prior to the movie so that you can build comfort etc. Then, during the movie, escalate kino.

It works, trust me!

These barriers are all in your head. Don't limit yourself to where you can attract girls.

Even expensive dinners can work as long as you don't make it look like you're the nice guy supplicator.

Do away with the rules. Experiment and make your own rules.

 

[Bourne]

Good Date places

• Coffee shop
• Window shopping at a mall/downtown
• Ice skating
• Mini-golf
• A park

Bad date places

• Restaurant
• Movie

Those are pretty good. I always thought coffee shop was good but the other ideas are excellent.

I agree with Restaurant and Movies. Not on first date, perhaps later on.

 

[LeviathanIYG]

Depends on the restaurant I go to a little restaurant in a back street of the Italian district, hidden away run from an old house converted into a restaurant. It's always empty with great ambience and fantastic food. I'm also well known there the way I see it I take a girl there she well be, see and feel:

A) Intrigued because I know a secret place that nobody knows about.
B) Social proof I know the people that run it.
C) A touch of romance because of the setting (women love the idea of romance as long as you don’t push it on them).
D) Melt for the amazing food.
E) Enjoy herself because she is alone with me.

After the restaurant I usually follow up with going to this chocolate place the makes its own chocolate and it serves it meted with strawberries. I dip them in chocolate and feed them to her. Women love to be fed and strawberries in chocolate are sex food.

Then I take her to this other quiet unknown park area with an amazing view of the harbor.

This is my special date for special girls I do this a few times a year.

Just letting people know restaurants aren't always bad, you just need to know what you are doing and you need to go to the right place.

 

[Fash]

Good Date places

• Coffee shop
• Window shopping at a mall/downtown
• Ice skating
• Mini-golf
• A park

Ok, here is the really ennoying dilemma that I have...

I live in London. So it is pretty much freezing and wet for 10 months of the year. We really really do have ****ty weather out here which kinda rules out most of the "action dates".

There is also a big drinking culture here, so not many "coffee shops" stay open till late, but there are countless pubs and bars around.

so.....

• Coffee shop - Mostly starbucks, quite lame
• Window shopping at a mall/downtown - outdoors is a no no, indoor ones are usually pretty crap and out of town
• Ice skating - there is only one decent on in london and it is in a very difficult to get to location (Alexandra Palace)
• Mini-golf - mostly outdoors and there is like 3 in London
• A park - forget it! i'll freeze my arse off!

I really really do need some more ideas for a date. I tried a comedy club last time, but it turned out to be crap and kinda ruined the evening.

I'm suposed to be taking this amazing chick out 2moro night, and so far, all I can think of is a quiet and cosy bar.

Cheers,

Fash

 

[Tomatoes]

i think a quiet bar or pub works well. No noisey ****...you go out to get to know her. Bowling works well....Action date.

 

[johnmich]

Yes, i agree on bowling. But the others are a bit hard.

Mini golf - none near by or id of gone
Coffee - i dont drink coffee
No window shopping - outside and cold
maybe a bar or pub

Any other ideas

 

[mrRuckus]

Oh my God... What is this ****?

Ask what she's looking for? NEVER talk about religion, politics,

Why not? Unless you're just looking for ass why do you want to be with someone who believes in completely different things than you? Find out early if they care about silly things like abortion before you get her pregnant and are stuck with a baby you don't want.

 

[cactus3178]

DO

Analyze the situation you are in and forget all Do's and Don'ts. If the girl is politicly active and you are too, then if you touch that subject it's so OK. The only thing you should do on a date is analyze the situation and see what would be OK not OK to do. That's it! Almost all Do or Don'ts have one fatal flaw and that's because they do not take into consideration of what you are doing, where you are or who you are. For them to be correct they would have to look like:

"Do
If the girl is a feminist punk-bandplaying girl who studies for plumbing and has not have a mother who have died in a car crash, you may say: XXXWDwdwDW"




DON'TS

Don't force the theroretical Do or Don'ts dictate what you do in real life.

Oh, hell....somebody give this guy a ****ing medal.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[Lifeforce]

Oh, hell....somebody give this guy a ****ing medal.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Thanks, getting a medal for common sense is a pretty big achievement