Questions to ask yourself before getting married
1. Is your girlfriend overly possessive/jealous?
When a woman decides that you’re the one she wants to marry, she almost never ask you to marry her, but she will try her hardest to foreclose your other options when it comes to other women. Although this should not be completely unexpected, it may be a sign of insecurity and feelings of inadequacy. A woman who knows her worth will not fear competition, just like you know yours when it comes to her having options among other men.
2. Does your girlfriend have a life outside of her relationship with you?
A woman usually has a core group of girlfriends with whom she can talk about “girly” things and complain about you. If she doesn’t, that is a sure sign she will resent the time you spend alone or with your friends. She may likely harbor feelings of abandonment, and may guilt you into abandoning your hobbies, friends and time alone in order to keep her happy or otherwise amused.
3. How frequent is sex?
A woman typically wants sex as much, or more than a man, particularly as she approaches her late-20s and early-30s. However, if your girlfriend dictates how often the two of you have sex, or uses sex as a means to manipulate you, things will not improve once you get married.
4. Is the “proposal pressure” increasing?
A woman will not put pressure on you to propose marriage unless she herself is getting pressure from family or friends. Such pressure is a sign that she is easily influenced by her family and friends in major decisions, and that she’ll continue to accept their input on major decisions once you get married. For example, a woman will often discuss the issue of getting pregnant with her mother or her closest friend(s), but never with you. Once she’s decided that she wants kids, she’ll conveniently forget to take a couple of doses of birth control (thereby rendering the cycle ineffective) or stop taking it altogether. You’ll find out that she wants kids when you get the “honey, guess what, I’m pregnant” speech.
5. Is she messy?
Contrary to popular belief, a woman can be just as messy as a man. Makeup, toiletries, hair, dirty clothes, and other detritus find their way onto mirrors, countertops, floors and even shower tiles. Just because she is clean and polished doesn’t mean her place is. This is often the reason why a woman won’t take you back to her place. If she can’t keep her own place neat and clean, that’s a sure sign she won’t help to keep the marital home in an acceptable condition.
6. Does she have her own money and a career?
A woman without ambition to pull her own weight is deadweight. If she has no passion for what she does for a living, no ambition to improve herself professionally, and has no money, she will depend on you to provide her with the lifestyle to which she would like to become accustomed. Likewise, if she has credit card debt or other financial obligations, those become yours when you tie the knot. A good way to put the brakes on any marriage pressure is to insist that she clean up her credit and eliminate consumer debt. If she is resistant to the idea, she’ll likely continue to rack up credit card debt, and try stick you with the bill.
7. Can she handle the pressure?
In your relationship, your girlfriend has probably looked to you to make the hard decisions that affect the two you, and sometimes just her. However, a strong woman will be able to handle situations where you’re not around. Thus, it makes sense to find a way to put your girlfriend in a situation where she will be forced to make a decision without you.
8. Does she try to change or control you?
Change can be good, but it is never good when it is imposed on you by someone else. You should change only if you want to change, not because your girlfriend wants you to change. Likewise, just because you’re in a relationship that doesn’t mean you’ve ceded control of your time and energy to your girlfriend. To the contrary, your time should still be your own, and you should spend time with her when you want to, not when she demands attention. You’re not a dog, and your relationship with your girlfriend is not an experiment being conducted by a Russian scientist named Pavlov.
