Don't underestimate maturity

[Jariel]

Have you noticed how most women go for guys older and more mature than themselves? This is because women look up to maturity in the same way they look upto power and is what separates men from boys.

Childish behaviour is unconsciously associated with childish qualities, such as low intelligence, weakness, naivety and dependency. Mature behaviour, on the other hand, is associated with intelligence, strength, independence and experience.

Unfortunately a lot of guys get so caught up trying to be ****y, funny and entertaining company that they end up becoming a woman's private jester, losing their dignity and appeal in the process. Knowing how to balance humour and maturity is just a matter of knowing "wittiness" from "foolishness".

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

that is so true, and if you are ****y and funny you seme imature, i have this problem, i think to be both you have to say less funny things but when you do say them make sure they really are funny not just some spur of the moment comment, and try and lossen up on the ****yness a little, just slightly ****ey!

 

[jakethasnake]

'****y' when you're over the age of 25 makes you look like a fvcking doofus. I kid you not. A secure, MATURE (as in well-aged) man knows that a braggart is actually one that is just trying to ver compensate (There are many of those around, if you need an example look to a rather infamous 44 year old guy who's rather omnipresent on these boards.). However, being ****y when you're under the age of 25 generally works well, provided you use small and effective doses of it.


'Funny', no matter what your age is, is the GOLDEN SOLUTION. Not funny in a approaval-seekin, court jester kindof way, but funny as in having insight (for example into the cruel ironies of life/people), wit, and charm.

 

[gav]

what do you mean by maturity?- having solid life goals, being competitive when it matters, excelling in every area of your life? that's what maturity is for me

if you mean cracking immature jokes, doing childish shyt...having fun, then i'm never gonna stop that. you take the fun out of life when you take everything too seriously

 

[Bonhomme]

There's a difference ...

There's a difference between being childlike and childish. ****y & funny done right is the former, not the latter. But one does look a right dork if it's forced and doesn't come naturally.

I think of C+F as something not to censor if a witty comment comes to mind, but also not to force if it doesn't. All and all, I'm with Gav on this one.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

i have to add somthing else, as well as being mature now this was mentioned by pook and i agree, you have to treat girls as if the girls are imature, treat them like little girls, and be fun.

Remember if you are to serious it is bad, you just have to be right to suit the occasion which depends on the occasion.

remember

input----> process----> output

the input is peoples reaction to how you are acting, you process this and decide how you should be reacting, and react how you think you should, this is a loop like in a computer system.

 

[Jariel]

Being mature doesn't necessarily mean being serious, but think of it more as being cool and collected. I mean, take a look at Jim Carey and James Bond - whose behaviour has more sex appeal?

The reason I posted this tip is because I have been trying to set my friend up with some of my female friends, without success. He's a great guy, well-dressed, decent looking, intelligent and the life and soul of every party. However, most of the women I've asked said they don't see him as dating material because they just can't take him seriously.

Additionally, since I've returned to uni a few women have commented that I appear to have matured. One of my friends said I appear more "pensive", another said I've developed a "smouldering quality", adding "women love that in a man".

In fact, I've purposely tried to curtail my smiling and laughing lately to emphasize this quality and it seems to be having quite a positive affect.

 

[Jon E]

Originally posted by jakethasnake
A secure, MATURE (as in well-aged) man knows that a braggart is actually one that is just trying to ver compensate (There are many of those around, if you need an example look to a rather infamous 44 year old guy who's rather omnipresent on these boards.)

Oh HEEEEEEELLLLLLLL yes!

You took the words right out of my mouth Jake.

 

[DJD]

Originally posted by Jariel
(Snip) Additionally, since I've returned to uni a few women have commented that I appear to have matured. One of my friends said I appear more "pensive", another said I've developed a "smouldering quality", adding "women love that in a man".

In fact, I've purposely tried to curtail my smiling and laughing lately to emphasize this quality and it seems to be having quite a positive affect.

There's a lot to be said for that, actually. Certain women will find that attractive, whereas others won't. I am naturally the way you described above because I am quiet and reserved (sometimes described as aloof/enigmatic). These qualities really attract some women, but others tell me that I need to "smile more", "lighten up", and "stop being so serious". The women who say these things are usually the 'livewire' or 'life of the party' types. I even had one woman a few years ago who hit on me hard, invited me to her table with her friends, and then sort of scolded me a while later for needing to 'lighten up' or something to that effect. I told her that this is just how I am, I would be faking it to act another way, and I would not apologize for simply being myself. It was then she who apologized.

In my experience, the women who do value the qualities in men as described above get 'hooked' on the men much harder than those who don't. I think the mystery part of it is a strong element.

 

[Bonhomme]

Originally posted by jakethasnake

A secure, MATURE (as in well-aged) man knows that a braggart is actually one that is just trying to ver compensate (There are many of those around, if you need an example look to a rather infamous 44 year old guy who's rather omnipresent on these boards.)

You guys better not be talking about Pook, though I don't know if he's 44. Whatever the case may be, his stuff is 24-karat gold. One should not leave their experiences out of their posts to try to put on an air of false modesty if others can benefit from their example (although it's been correctly pointed out that a lot of "lay reports" are too heavy on the bragging and too light on the useful information). It's not very mature to dis people without the balls to identify who you're dissing, either.

 

[Jon E]

Were not talking about Pook.

We're talking about Player "I have the worlds largest ego" Supreme.

 

[jakethasnake]

Well, it's not so much his advice that I find sad - it's fundamentally sound. It's just his online.... persona. He sounds like he walked out of a Blaxploitation movie. And for a 45 year old to be that way - one can only assume that he's over-compensating or making up for lost time.


And for the record, seducing women only gets easier with age. I don't like how some of the older DJs here act like they are Gods when they are only doing what comes naturally with age and maturity - attracting women. Even younger women are attracted by the natural calm and confidence of having seen the world and everything that goes on in it. That's a kind of confidence that you just cannot buy. Furthermore, the insecurities that plague ALL people in their 20s are gone by the time these older men hit their 30s and get older. Not to mention that their careers and personal finances hit their stride.


So if our 'man' in question was in his early 20s, I feel he wouldn't be SO different from many of the younger posters here. He - and many of the other older men who are 'deifyed' by teenage DJs here that still pop their pimples with a pin - are just regular men who have aged well, as older gentlemen should. Nuthin' so special about it. It didn't happen to them because they are special - it happened to them because they've MATURED (some moreso than others, obviously). Hey - this ties in nicely with the topic of the thread, so I'll stop here.

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by Jariel
Have you noticed how most women go for guys older and more mature than themselves? This is because women look up to maturity in the same way they look upto power and is what separates men from boys.

Anyway to get back on topic:


I look about a year or two younger than my age. There is a 20 year old in one of my classes, and the whole time she was being a bit distant and cold toward most everyone in the class. That was because it was an intro-level language class and as a 20 year old she felt 'above' them (most are 18-19 years old). During a break in class me and a guy (I sat right behind her) next to me started talking about our ages. When she heard me say that I was 23, her eyes instantly lit up. From then until the end of class she was flipping her hair pretending to look at something in my direction over her shoulder (but not 'at me', of course). It's just one of those things - my gut told me that her sexual radar was clicked on because I was 3 years older than her - when you're below 24 years old those three years make a BIG difference.



So yes - women, almost no matter what their age are sociologically programmed to prefer older men. Because older means more experienced, which means more confident, which in turn means 'more sexy'.

 

[A-Unit]

Some pointers.

1. "I date older guys because guys my age or younger are like dating my brother or his friends. I hear their idiotic jokes all day and listen to their shows. So dating an older guy allows me to escape that, and contect with someone who actually 'challenges me'."

That was word for word from a cutie I met sometime ago who had 4 brothers. She was 24 when I met her, and her brothers were 21, 20, and 18. I just made the bar at 24.

From a natural standpoint, women mature earlier, at least by 10 years old. Perhaps not mentally (though chemicals are flooding their brains much younger than our's), women's lifecycles are 10-30. After 30, if a woman hasn't founded a suitable mate, her "worth" or "value" declines.

Yet, by 30, men increase in value, because our inherent "worth" is character, courage, resource-acquisition, etc, which is why you seek OK looking guys who are well off having the time of their life, while Great looking guys who are still boozing might be struggling. It isn't that they can't pull some hot lays, but if a woman over 30 doesn't have her shyt together, there's many reasons...

-She already had kids and is now enjoying her freedom.
-She never will.

Any DECENT woman over 30 will expect a man to bring "something" to the table. I spoke with a friend about this who owns a Chiropractic office and several pieces of Real Estate about what he would do regarding relationships and he said the following:

"I'm not into marrying. I'm 37, and I've done well with my life. I'll date younger (as he normally does), but what does a woman bring to me that I don't already have or get? Unless she brings an equal amount of value, i.e. she carries her weight, has a carreer, has some money, there isn't anything to entice me into a L/T relationship."

This isn't to say to shun today for tomorrow, because that's just dumb. But don't neglect the natural process of human evolution as a part of our mating strategies.

Women will generally seek an older man. That becomes more prevalent as women age. A 17 year old girl will date a guy in her highschool, but an 18 year old hottie in college will date a guy who's already working (such as myself). The trend ceases around age 30, when her value declines, and a man's increases. A man at 30 doesn't "need" a woman, he "wants" one. He's well off enough to have the 30 year old women, or the 25 year old women. Whether he does or not is his choice.

Women want to have fun, but childish, dumb humor is best left for your friends. If you find the type of girl it works on, go at it. But the extreme limit for stupidity is C&F. Too much humor and she'll just see you as a friend, because of all the non-serious fun. Be light-hearted, be jovial, but direct them toward potentially serious things, i.e. romance, future, sex, flirting, games, whatever...




A-Unit

 

[A-Unit]

Side Bar.

Keep in mind also...

When the unusual becomes the usual, your frame of reality changes.

That means, as women age, and become accustom to a lifestyle, they expect it. My buddy's X-GF is the perfect example of this.

A hot spanish broad, easily a 10, and completey untouchable unless you make over $100,000 (and she can smell money like a shark smells blood in water). They just broke up. She was spending money like a drunken sailor. Too bad for her, because at 26 (her 21) he just entered some good times for money. He ended a 5 year relationship. The reasons don't matter.

Bottom line though, she's digging a hole of debt to continue the lifestyle he began for her. Prada, Gucci, LV, vacations, BMW's, paying for her, hairstyles, salons, etc. She's at the point she's willing to sacrifice her credit to feel good again.

Now, I don't advocate this, nor do I advocate tipping your hand that you have ANY money. But what it does illustrate is that girls get pampered from their BF's, or AFC's, they come to expect that OR more next time. They figure "I had this, I should do AT LEAST as good, if not better." It's purely natural to question how much VALUE we could pull out of a mate. Guys do it all the time when trying to find a hotter girl after each relationship.

As a woman ages, she expects a man...

-to have his own pad by a certain age. she's dated guys who had apartments, houses, etc, why would she stoop to sneaking into your bedroom w/out waking your parents?
-be somewhat stable. she isn't babying you. have a car, a job, etc. that's deplorable. shyt, i get sick of my friends when they're so indecisive. I won't even go there.

Not to mention as we age, we lose that "baby" look. Even at 24, I had a hot older woman mistake my age, probably as 21 or less.



A-Unit

 

[Dictatorsaurus]

Originally posted by DJD
There's a lot to be said for that, actually. Certain women will find that attractive, whereas others won't. I am naturally the way you described above because I am quiet and reserved (sometimes described as aloof/enigmatic). These qualities really attract some women, but others tell me that I need to "smile more", "lighten up", and "stop being so serious". The women who say these things are usually the 'livewire' or 'life of the party' types. I even had one woman a few years ago who hit on me hard, invited me to her table with her friends, and then sort of scolded me a while later for needing to 'lighten up' or something to that effect. I told her that this is just how I am, I would be faking it to act another way, and I would not apologize for simply being myself. It was then she who apologized.

In my experience, the women who do value the qualities in men as described above get 'hooked' on the men much harder than those who don't. I think the mystery part of it is a strong element.

Your descrption of yourself is very similar to my characteristics. I am usually quiet and elusive. Most women don't show interest in me because of subtle style even though I'm considered good looking. However, I noticed the women who like me are interested in my quiet side and try to get to know what I'm about. Sad thing is, most women in their early 20's are too shallow and go after individuals who are extremely fake and are basically just actors.

 

[DJ_Dork]

JBY. If you are not the quiet strong type, don't be cause your more goofier true self will come out. Somewhere out there there are girls who are attracted to the goofy/funny guy, and then there will be other girls who are attracted to the strong silent type.