1. Find out what she really responds to.
Elicit Values
You need to elicit her end-values and you need to get past her initial politically-correct answers. You need to dig deeper. This link from fast.seduction explains it pretty well. Please read it before you go farther. Later, I will take this post in a little different direction.
http://www.fastseduction.com/guide/03_Approaching/06_Eliciting_Values/eliciting.shtml
Past Relationships
I’ve found that the best predictor of what a woman really wants is the guys that she has chosen in the past and the way those boyfriends have treated her. If she has only gone out with bad boys in the past, then chances are this is what she really wants no matter how much she complains about them. If she has only dated rich guys then she values what money, wealth and possessions bring her. If she has only dated nice preppy guys then she probably wants a nice stylish guy.
If her relationships have always been filled with lots of fights and arguments, then she probably feels most comfortable in a nasty conflict-filled relationship. If she brings up how her last boyfriend was into really wild kinky sex, no matter how much she says she hated it, she’s really into it. She wouldn’t have brought it up otherwise. The last guy she was with wanted to get serious right away and that turned her off . You get the picture.
Sometimes we are told to not let her talk about her past relationships. This is wrong. Find out all you can about her by what happened with her past boyfriends. If anything, you will learn a lot about what she will be like in a potential relationship with you. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. If she’s cheated on boyfriends before, chances are, she will do it again. This means that she’ll cheat on her boyfriend with you or on you if you get into a relationship with her.
A good discussion topic is one-night-stands. The topic always comes up eventually. If she’s had any ONSs, obviously find out what happened. Maybe the guy was a real smooth-talker. If that’s the case, then patterns and fantasies and romantic discussions will work on her. Maybe the guys were really bold and really sexual with her. She then likes guys who are confident and really go for what they want. Maybe she was really drunk. Sh1t, buy her a double shooter then.
After most of my ONSs and my frequent first-date sex nights, the explanation I have heard from the girl most often was “You just wanted me so much.” These types of chicks really respond to sexual aggression and your passion. If that’s what she responds to, then keep giving that to her stupid. (This is also one of the most effective tactics to get around the anti-slut-defence btw, your “I really want you” passion.)
If possible, absolutely find out what her sexual relationship was like with her past boyfriends. In my experience, chicks come with two different sexual flavours with two different types each. They are either High Drive or Low Drive and then prefer Run-of- the-Mill Sex or Wild Adventurous Sex. Find out what types they are and then deliver what she wants. (of course, low drive women should be discarded.)
What Emotional Triggers Does She Respond To
Early in your interactions with her, you should experiment with different emotional triggers for her. I normally put Challenge, Excitement, Romance, Argument, Social Proof / Jealousy, Fantasy, Humor, Anger, Confidence, Entertainment and even Boredom into this category even though most are not emotions. But they do “trigger” an emotional response in her.
Chances are you will never figure out the emotion she feels as a result of these triggers and that doesn’t really matter. If she’s feeling anything, negative or positive, you’re better off than if she’s feeling nothing. Positive emotions are better than negative ones but negative emotions are better than no emotions. Experiment to find out which things you can do that evoke an emotional response in her.
If she steps out of line a little on one of your initial dates, for example, try getting a little angry with her and see what happens. While you are expending some rapport with her in the short-term, you will have learned something very valuable for your success with her in the long-term.
And note that her emotional reaction will not always be immediate. Most girls take a day or two to process and talk to their friends before they respond to a trigger. This is particularly true for the negative triggers such as Anger. With positive triggers such as Excitement, you can usually see the reaction right away but it will still take her some time to begin associating that excitement positively with your presence. Take a few days to make a final assessment of what her response really is to any particular trigger.
Her Self-Esteem Level
Some women just generally have low self esteem (LSE). They think they are less pretty than they really are. They think they don’t deserve to be treated well (this one is quite common.) They don’t want to face the pressure of being better than they think they are. Deep down, they don’t feel good about who they are even though they may put on passable façade. You can pick up on this rather easily.
If she ever says “you’re too good to me” or “I don’t deserve you”, stop what you doing on the spot. You need to be a lot less nice. If she ever says “I’m never ever going to be anything” or “I’m nothing compared to …” or “I just want to be a stewardess”, you have a woman with LSE.
LSE women do not want everything to be perfect. They like a rough edge. They don’t want to be called beautiful because it goes against their inner belief system. They just think you’re lying to get into their pants. Play it cool with these type of women. An occasional complement is okay but most of the time they respond to a little reinforcement of their LSE and possibly even a lot of rough treatment. These women play a lot of games and test you a lot. They are also sometimes outrageous attention wh0res because their self-esteem is directly related to the attention they get from men.
HSE girls come in two flavours: Conceited or Mature / Like-the-Person-They-Are girls.
HSE-Conceited chicks respond most favorably to Challenge, Neg-Hits, Social Proof, Patterns, Excitement and Lack of Attention from you. We’ve seen it all before. In a way, this is the most common girl discussed on this site. These chicks are often the attention wh0res, the gold-diggers and the professional daters.
HSE-Mature women respond most favorably to being treated well, classic dates and you being a Real Man. They are often looking for more of a complete package in a guy and the traditional approach is the one to take. These are the quality chicks.
A girl’s looks will often play into her self-esteem level but I think its better to look at this in relative terms. A 6.0 HSE-Mature woman will have to settle for less quality in a guy than a 9.0 HSE-Mature woman but they will often respond the same way to the approach you take.
Important Issues that are Repeated
Another good way to assess what she really wants is defining moments from her past and things that are important to her. Is there something she continually brings up on your dates? It can be something from her past, something about pop culture, things her friends do that bother her or even how hard it is for her to do her make-up in the morning. The key is that there has to be repetition of the issue. If she mentions something more than a few times, listen up, this is really important to her. Sometimes these things are very innocuous and we miss them.
Dig a little deeper and find out why this is important to her. “I’ve noticed you talk a lot about guys hitting on you. You actually get a little kick out of that don’t you? (with sly grin on your face to keep her defences down.) Chances are she’s an Attention Wh0re. If she is, then encourage her to dress sexier, put her in the spot-light and never let your jealous side show (and of course write her off as LTR material but have some fun in the meantime.)
Family Background and Friends
Her childhood and her relationship with family members is also a good indictor. A lot of women are really looking for a man who is just like their father or someone who is the man their father never was. Pay particular attention to this and if you ever meet her father, spend some time gauging what kind of guy he is and what kind of traits he has. The same goes for mothers.
Listen to how she talks about him and whether she respects him or not. “Dad never stood up to mom”, means she is looking for the guy to take charge and not take any of her sh1t. “Dad was so good to my mom and she didn’t really appreciate it” means she’s looking for a good guy just like her father. This is the same dad doing the same things, but the girl’s reaction to it is completely opposite.
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If her family has a lot of fights or interact with each other through lots of insults etc., then she probably likes a guy who can verbally jest with her, not take her insults personally as well give back as good as she is giving. I’ve seen this a lot. Its not that she thinks this way is better, it is just that this is the way she has learned to and feels most comfortable in interacting. If the family is close and loving, she will think cuddling with you on the couch is great and will get turned-on by it.
Of course, chicks from dysfunctional and broken families are damaged goods. Most often, they want you to keep your distance and will be turned-off if you are touchy feely. These chicks often thrive on emotional highs and lows such as extreme excitement and thrills, over the top romance interspersed with fights and arguments and coldness. They are often the Drama Queens.
Chicks will hang out with a peer group of girl friends which are most like them. A girl’s friends will have more influence on her than any one else. Never say “Well, she hangs out with a pretty wild crowd but she is not like them at all.” Wrong, she is exactly like them. Maybe her wild days are five years behind her. But more than likely, she will still respond to the wild, take chances, bad boy guy.
I personally ignore any comments about the traits of her guy friends. Most of the time, this is poor indicator of what she really responds to and you can be misled. Sometimes she will actually respond positively to certain traits of her guy friends while at other times, she will be sexually turned-off by them. Use other indicators instead.
Where and how she grew up is often an indicator of how to treat her. An old saying goes “My uncle Sam always told me to marry a farm girl who likes to fvck?” (I’ve had a few of those and I can verify that its true). Did she grow up poor, in a small town, in the projects. A poor chick, for example, will either value savings and frugalness or will only want a rich guy. Farm girls like you to be straight up with them.
Her Sociability
Does your girl like to go out and socialize a lot. Well, she ain’t going to be happy staying home most of the time. Clearly, if you want her to hang around, you’re going to have to take her out more. There is no more clear example of how you can not treat all women the same than this.
However, do not think that this means you should become her entertainer. Do you think that is what she really wants and really responds to? No, she just wants to go out a little more than the average girl. Everything else still applies.
Dig Deeper
She says “I’m really looking for a romantic guy.” You should ask her about the most romantic thing a guy has ever done for her and then keep prodding to find out what was the real end result of that romantic act. Did she fvck him that night? Did she break up with him soon after? Did she say I would have married him but he broke up with me?
Politically correct type values can sometimes be true but you need to dig deeper to find out if that value is really something she responds to.
I had one girlfriend who kept talking about all these trips her past boyfriends took her on. Of course, she was a gold-digger but she was hot and I really needed a vacation. But the more we discussed these trips, all she could talk about was how they were disasters and the boyfriend fvcked up on the hotel reservations etc. It became clear that she viewed these trips as a form of supplication and I went on a golf trip with my buds instead. She really upped her affection level after this, not surprisingly.
