Originally posted by Oxide
Well.. i am a conceited son of a b1tch.
I got decent looks, and an ego that demands every girl to want me. Even if i have no plans on hooking up with her, i want her to desire me.
And most of the time in my mind i believe they do. I am probably crazy and very narcisstic, but this is usually the case.
Here is something from my own notes. I wrote this after my best friend yet again stated that "Oxide thinks every girl likes him"
I can not possibly understand why so often I am viewed as the one who is not comprehending the whole sexuality thing. I am openly accused of misjudging situations even by the best of friends. It is truly shocking to me since in my mind I am positively correct, but over and over again I am subjected to heavy criticism of trying to boost my ego by thinking a woman likes me. I am not saying that I am some kind of Don Juan, but when a girl asks to see my junk as a dare, or if she says “I would so get naked right now if we went in a hot tub” to me that screams “I AM INTERESTED”. I am simply exhausted of bearing the constant criticism placed on me by my best friend. Am I the deluded one because I think the signs are there? If a woman flirts with me, is it not a sign that she is interested? Why the **** am I still being questioned, mocked, joked about when it comes to this. Would it be better if I in my heart believed that NO woman finds me attractive? How in the world would that make my life better? So here is my answer to all the accusations tossed my way – “**** OFF”. Yeah, you heard me. If I think a girl is giving me signs, then she is. If she flat out rejects me then I guess I wrong, but until then, be quiet.
I do not need this pathetic pessimism in my life. If I want to live in the clouds, let me do so. – Dec 10
Agree or disagree?
There is a difference between conceit and confidence. The latter is desirable the former is an imperfection. Personally, I don't care what you do, and I know that I am extremely conceited and lack humility in many aspects of my life. I have no right to judge you.
Conceit is when you feel that everyone desires you, whether or not it is the case. It is an imperfection, since there is an underlying need to feel that everyone desires you that distorts your reality into believing that everyone truly does. This can (but does not necessarily) prevent you from taking risks that might show you the reality of the situation, and can prevent you from improving yourself. The symptoms of conceit are every success being exaggerated and flaunted as proof of your desirability, at least to yourself. Extreme anger arises when reality conflicts with conceit. The belief that everyone wants you, although it may be useful for seduction, could be improved by developing true confidence, which is also useful for seduction but ultimately more realistic.
Confidence, on the other hand, is knowing that
if the other person knew you, they would desire you. This is not quite the same belief as thinking that everyone already does. The latter is unrealistic - a distorted view of reality. But a confident person knows that not every person sees what is beautiful in him. There is no need to be desired by all, since a confident man knows he is desirable to those of his sort, and does not rely on the desire of others to stroke his ego. It is like the difference between a well-made house and one that is poorly constructed. For everybody on earth, rejection creates pain. A confident man can weather the storms of rejection because he has built a strong house, whereas the conceited man has a less strongly built structure of beliefs to protect him. When a man who believes everyone desires him is rejected, his imaginary reality is rejected as well. This is why his house is weaker, more easily blown by the winds or subject to leaks.
But seriously bro, life is about having fun. Which way do you enjoy life more? If you enjoy life better convinced that every girl in the world wants you, I say live that way. Screw being realistic. This belief will be your charm, your magnetism, I assure you. People who are "realistic" are the ones who never dream anyway. Quite frankly, it sounds like your good friend is jealous of your belief in your own desirability.
It is natural by the way to want everyone to want and desire you. That is a natural function of our hearts who always desire more love and wants to feel desirable, especially by people who are themselves desirable.
Personally, I feel that I can charm most people - there are some that I can't, and some that I can't anymore. That is part of life, but I don't always like it! I can charm most of the intelligent ones, and that might have to do. It's an amazing feeling when you realize that somebody absolutely hates your guts, and you couldn't care less. It's wonderfully empowering... you are free and they are still chained to their overpowering feelings. It's marvelous. I used to get my panties in a bunch (figure of speech) every time somebody didn't like me, because it just confirmed in my mind that I am an undesirable freak. The more I realize that I am desirable, the more true confidence I have, and the less I care. Now when women hate me, I ask them for kisses LOL. They get so mad, it's really too much fun. It's so funny having chicks mad at me that I'm afraid I get a little carried away insulting them! I asked this one girl that despises me for a kiss one time, she looked like she wanted to clock me. She was so mad she couldn't even look at me. I was laughing my a$$ off.
You know how these chicks are. They take themselves sooo seriously. "Like oh my god, like and then he was like 'Your hair looks funny.' So typical of Jimmy!" Chicks talk about this sh!t for hours, these princesses aren't used to guys who don't give a fig about all their drama. All right, best of luck bro.
P.S. If chicks approached me saying all those crazy things they said to you, my ego would be cloud-level for a couple weeks too.