Dont surpress sexuality for female "platonic friendship"..not worth it

[Pandora]

Hey, is this the line that we stand in to take turns whooping Pandora's ass?



Just kidding, Pandora.

To take a different look at it from most of the other guys:

When we get beyond the whole physical attraction/guys with female friends thing-------I clearly see that ONE of the things that pissed you off about this has NOTHING to do with whether or not you personally wanted to get with them.

What I don't think has been addressed here yet is the sense of BETRAYAL that you feel at being lied to by these "friends" of yours. Let's assume for a moment that your primary goal was NOT trying to "low-key", sneak up on some PUSSSSY-------(which I don't believe you were. Because if you've been on this site for awhile, you already know better)--------I think that you would actually have a similar feeling of betrayal if these were MALE friends who lied to you.

In other words, what I think hasn't been addressed here is that it's ALWAYS a fukked up situation when you defend your friends-----when you STAND UP for them to other people only to find out that their asses were LYING to you all along. There's nothing like defending somebody's honor only to find out that THEY really weren't "honorable" after all.

So in that particular matter, I think you have every right to be disappointed in those chicks. Unlike some folks, I don't give people easy, free "passes" for lying to me---------whether they're male or female.


PEACE.


V.U.

Bingo. This is exactly it. I mean, alot of dudes in our social circle would make little remarks about one of the girls in particular. Im a loyal guy to a fault. Im quicker to stand up for my friends than myself. So would be like " chill, shes cool, man shes different, shes not a ***** like that. Dont talk badly about her behind her back" as if she was one of my male friends. I would tell my guy friends "why would she lie to me, you sure she did that? she told me she didnt". I look like a dumba** now lol.

Its the betrayal u feel when a girl tells you multiple times a week that u are one of her closest confidants/ friends and then you find out that she was hiding and misrepresenting herself. You then wonder why? Is it becuz she holds my approval in such high esteem? Does she enjoy that atleast on guy in her life thinks that she is ok? Maybe she wanted me to see her in a certain way? Who knows??

I dont usually hang out with girls im not tryin to get with so many guys would wonder why she was different and why i was hanging out with her. Im known to be a horndog with chicks and i do ok with women. So i had to defend this friendship like crazy.

You have to understand that one girl in particular had been pushing this friendship on me like crazy. We initially started getting close becuz she pursued it. When a female holds u in that light as a normal cool guy that she can trust, you feel odd breaking that image by trying to get some. Besides she is attractive just not my type at all. So i went along with it found out that shes really cool to chill with. Shes also a great wing girl. She thought i was a really cool guy in a school full of weirdos. When a girl talks 90% of the time about her dating life to you, and you find out that the very premise that her dating life was based on is false, its a mindf**k. Its like who can i trust to tell me the truth.

Its almost as if they enjoy having one socially well adjusted guy in their life, but they are afraid that if they expose their true nature to them the guy will leave or expect something from them. I remember walking one home late at night in a bad neighborhood, and she gave me a hug and "your actually are a decent guy, one of the few". I didnt understand that comment at the time. I was confused becuz she told me she didnt have much sexual or dating experience and that she had only made out with 2 guys ever (she is in her very early 20's so thats not too unbelievable). I had known her for 1.6 years. Now it makes sense. She was the one that got ban**ed out and thrown out of the hotel room by a guy a weekend ago.

 

[Greasy Pig]

For a long time I've maintained that men and women can't truly be friends.
I know this is a sweeping statement but I think that for the most part, it's true.

I have one woman who I could genuinely call a friend. We banged a few times but now we talk to each other about everything.
She tells me about the guys she hooks up with and I tell her about the girls I hook up with.
There's no awkwardness. She's like a man with t!ts.

But, I still don't invite her to go watch a movie or hang out at a bar and get sh!tfaced. I do that with my male friends but I have no desire to do that with a female. Even this one.

I agree with backbreaker (again). Male/female "friendships" form from an initial sexual attraction.
I always ask people who disagree with my "men and women can't be friends" argument: (To men) If your female friend suddenly one night begged you to fvck her, would you decline because it would ruin the friendship?
(To women): If suddenly one night you begged your male friend to fvck you, would he decline?
99% of the time, these people admit that they would shag their "friend" or that their male "friend" would probably have a crack.

The truth is, I don't want to be friends with females. I'll be FRIENDLY with women I don't want to or can't fvck, but I'm not going to socialise with them like friends do unless I'm working game on them.

 

[backbreaker]

Hey, is this the line that we stand in to take turns whooping Pandora's ass?



Just kidding, Pandora.

To take a different look at it from most of the other guys:

When we get beyond the whole physical attraction/guys with female friends thing-------I clearly see that ONE of the things that pissed you off about this has NOTHING to do with whether or not you personally wanted to get with them.

What I don't think has been addressed here yet is the sense of BETRAYAL that you feel at being lied to by these "friends" of yours. Let's assume for a moment that your primary goal was NOT trying to "low-key", sneak up on some PUSSSSY-------(which I don't believe you were. Because if you've been on this site for awhile, you already know better)--------I think that you would actually have a similar feeling of betrayal if these were MALE friends who lied to you.

In other words, what I think hasn't been addressed here is that it's ALWAYS a fukked up situation when you defend your friends-----when you STAND UP for them to other people only to find out that their asses were LYING to you all along. There's nothing like defending somebody's honor only to find out that THEY really weren't "honorable" after all.

So in that particular matter, I think you have every right to be disappointed in those chicks. Unlike some folks, I don't give people easy, free "passes" for lying to me---------whether they're male or female.


PEACE.


V.U.

i can't buy this.

let's say the 2 girls were 2 guys and both told pandora that they really did not have a lot of sex and were business oriented people. some girls asked about them and you told them that they are both business oriented people. one of them comes over your house next saturday and tells you they hooked up with this girl on a ONS. Pandora, would not think 2 seconds about the issue other than to say "man good job" or "man that's great" or "was she hot"

when you apply the gender reversal litums test it doesn't come close to passing. he was mad becuase he wanted it and someone else got it.

I agree with backbreaker (again). Male/female "friendships" form from an initial sexual attraction.
I always ask people who disagree with my "men and women can't be friends" argument: (To men) If your female friend suddenly one night begged you to fvck her, would you decline because it would ruin the friendship?
(To women): If suddenly one night you begged your male friend to fvck you, would he decline?
99% of the time, these people admit that they would shag their "friend" or that their male "friend" would probably have a crack.

The truth is, I don't want to be friends with females. I'll be FRIENDLY with women I don't want to or can't fvck, but I'm not going to socialise with them like friends do unless I'm working game on them.

the thing is, women really aren't all that interesting. I don't say this to be sexist or antyhing but, if i were just screening most women hell even my wife most would not offer anything to me as far as being a true friend with nothing else. lol is my wife going to come over and play twisted metal with me lol? can she and I remenise together on how hard mike tyson was to beat on tyson's punch out? what does she think about the upcoming college football season? who does she like? what does she think about the NbA draft? does she think anthony davis is going to be a bust? what was her fav sopranos episode? can she jam out with me on the piano? is she going to spot me when i am on the bench in the gym? is she going to cover me at the pub when i left my wallet at home? is she going to go to the movies with me tos ee the latest james bond movie at midnight the night it comes out? what's her fav mortal kombat character? is she going to go to the track with me? actually yeah she will lol. but other than that every last one of them is a big NO. **** the last time i took my wife to a football game i had to spend half the game explaining to her why thye just can't pass the ball down field every time since "it seems muchm ore efficent than just running the ball"

Men and women are definatly equal. every opportunity a man has a woman should and does have. I am not a woman hater. but equal does not mean the same. seperate but equal i suppose. women do not like or do the same things that men do. no i can't just go to the mall and go in eveyr fvcking store for 3 hours like my wife and her friends do nor do i care to.

 

[Iceberg]

i can't buy this.

let's say the 2 girls were 2 guys and both told pandora that they really did not have a lot of sex and were business oriented people. some girls asked about them and you told them that they are both business oriented people. one of them comes over your house next saturday and tells you they hooked up with this girl on a ONS. Pandora, would not think 2 seconds about the issue other than to say "man good job" or "man that's great" or "was she hot"

when you apply the gender reversal litums test it doesn't come close to passing. he was mad becuase he wanted it and someone else got it.

That's my philosophy. If a female friend tells me that she made out with a guy on a date last week, and I find out she really f**ked him, why should I care? She's not obligated to give me full disclosure on her sex life.

I choose my friends by whether or not they contribute to my life(true friends, not girls I wanna bang disguised as friends). Do they make me laugh. Do we go to fun places together.

I can't imagine, at my age, dropping a real friend because they f**ked more people than they admitted they f**ked.

He says the girl "misrepresented herself", but how? By not telling the truth about her sex life? Hey, I don't want my best friends knowing how many girls I f**k either. Is a representation of friendship "Full disclosure of my sex life" and thus hiding your sex life becomes a misrepresentation of friendship? I'd think that friendship is built around different things than knowing who I f**k and how often I f**k them.

So the issue is, if this friend were a male, the OP wouldn't care who they f**ked. Therefor the issue is jealousy. Which doesn't make the OP a bad person. But this whole "I stand up for my friends. I'm loyal to a fault." routine just sounds holier than thou. Because if these girls were f**king him, his opinion of them wouldn't shift. They'd still be as sweet and innocent and he thought. Except when he's plowing them doggy style on a park bench.

But seriously - I've been of the same mindset of the OP, angry at a "friend" when I found out that she hooked up with other guys. And it took me years to reach the point when I admitted, "You know what. The only reason I got mad at (X Girl) was because she was f**king someone who WASN'T me."

So, honestly my friendship with her wasn't friendship. It was me enjoying her company while also wanting to bang her....but not being able to pull the trigger

 

[backbreaker]

like, my wife has female friends obviously. she's the only one who is married so all of them are single. and they come over and they talk about who they are dating or what not, obviously I have no interest in any of them like that... that's about as close to a female friend as I can get, and i would not even say we are friends i'm just married to the woman who they are friends with.

but they talk and when i listen i don't listen in anger or jealousy or what not and even give advice or what not. I can be 100% objective. hey why are you busting the guy's balls you said you like him and you had a good first date give him a call go out again don't play hard to get for the sake of doing it... etc etc

there are about.. i would say between 30 to 40 of us in all in our little social group, about half and half male / female. over the years or what not what i have noticed, is that the women tend to care more about what i think then my other friends do, and it's not beucase i am better looking (i am) or i am more successful (i am) or even more likable.. It's beucase they know i'm the only one that is actually being objective and i'm not talking out of self interest. becuase all the rest of htem are single and there are some lookers that hang out with us. some have hooked up, there are 2 couples in the group but the rest everyone hangs out and pretends to be friends but in reality most of the guys want an in with most of the girls and the girls know it. i want to see my wife's friends happy.

i remember when i was dealing with my oneitis before i came to this forum. she was not "fast" and while she wasn't an angel, she wasn't a slut either. she had some principles and stuck to them. she was a freak but she was a freak for her man. anyway, i remember she was always being courted and me being the "friend" that i was, she would always come to me with these guys and each guy, regardless of how successful or how good or how good looking or how smart he was, he was my arch Nemesis even if i did not want to admi tit at the time. i would find something, anything in him to show why he was not good for her and all the while ignoring my own flaws. i can laugh about it now. and **** some of the dudes in retrospect weren't fvcking half bad lol. i mean some clearly were, in particular the guy she ended up dating for 3 years, he was suicidal. but **** she dated one guy who dad owns this big fvcking farm right out side of little rock, loaded, the dude himself was pretty down to earth, nice guy and i spent night after night convincing myself how i am better than he was because he wasn't' exciting enough lol.

you can only lie to yourself for so long. and the thing is, as i get older i realize, that she knew good and damn well what i was doing and went with it anyway which shows again, she was using me just like i was using her.

the quicker yous top lying to yourself the better you will be. you can't be friends with women at least like that. like my ex's, i am not an ******* towards any of them, if i run into themi talk, i might even grab a bite to eat to catch up with them, see how the kids are doing if they have any or what not, i care about them and their well being but i don't wish to read your twitter every day to get the blow by blow of how many dudes you have slept with in the last 2 months, not that i care, but why even bother to prove some silly myth that men can be friends with women.

your time is better spent bettering yourself or gaming single women who are interested in you.

 

[FairShake]

It's worth it in only one instance.

If she has friends you would like to nail.

Otherwise, if you have feelings for her or she has feelings for you, it will probably not work. Oh, you may bang, but you won't be friends for long.

 

[backbreaker]

It's worth it in only one instance.

If she has friends you would like to nail.

Otherwise, if you have feelings for her or she has feelings for you, it will probably not work. Oh, you may bang, but you won't be friends for long.

even then it's not going to happen. it can't. and i can logically prove to you it can't lol.

okay, you met girl A. you are friends with girl A. but you don't date.

girl A has a friend girl B who you see.

there is no way you can get to girl b through girl A. how?

if she thought you were datable SHE would be dating you. if she is not good enough for you why should she be good enough for her friends?

i mean think about the **** from the other standpoint. say brad comes over my house and brad is single and has this girl that he wants to hook me up with. the first thing i already know something is wrong lol. she's probably ugly. if she wasn't he would be tapping her.

Let's say you are datable and she does like you. why would she hook you up with someone she sees as a potential BF? you thinks he wants to see the man she "found" locking lips with her best friend? fvck that.

it's the stupidest fvcking time investment/argument in all of dating. it does not work. it can't work.

and where men are different from women is that say if brad my boy had a gir he was dating and met another girl, and she was cool and cute but he was taken, maybe he would throw his boy a bone and hook me up. i've done that before. dont' want to see talent wasted lol. women though, they will just put him in oriber status. never can have too much protection incase who knows happen.e very woman these days has her own little royal court full with courters. the king and the guys under him. she may or may not be attracted to them, but she isn't going to give up a court member even if she isn't fvcking him.

i remember kat the girl who would not date me when i first came here had some drop dead goerougs friends. would never let me see any of them would not introdce me. god forbid i like one of them and stopped giving her attention.

i am watching a TV show on Netflix called conviction. has Jualine Niclsleson in it, who i am on record as saying i have a mini crush on, she's just so cute to me. anyhway, there is this guy at the office she wants to date. she likes him and flirts with him but he's a "player" and is always sleeping with other women. she mocks him but secretly she wants him. bad. i haven't gotten that far yet but it looks like she is going to get him.

anyway, she has this brit friend who comes into town to visit, very hot. the friend runs into the hot guy at work and she is very interested. she tells her not to waste her time with him he sleeps with everyone and is a dog, though she was really just tryin to keep her to himself. lol oddly enough she sleps with him anyway in a ONS and they both vow not to tell her.

 

[FairShake]

even then it's not going to happen. it can't.

Except that it can. And has. At least a few dozen times in my case. The majority of my "notches" have come from friends of a friend.

And I've often ended up banging the friend too.

I swear you kids don't know the many uses of alcohol. I could care less if they don't talk me up to their friends (they always did talk me up for what it's worth and it definitely helped). All I needed was access during parties and/or bar outings. Being a friend of a friend got me closer to them where I could work my magic. Which consisted of buying more alcohol usually...

 

[Jaylan]

A good friend is a good friend, irrespective of gender. As Ive gotten older, Ive realized its very much possible for men and women to be friends, provided neither side is interested in the other.

As long as I dont long to sleep with my friend, then Im not suppressing my sexuality in the least.

P.S. - OP, your female "friends" arent really your friends...because deep down you know you wanna smash, and deep down they only see you as just another guy "friend" who comes in and out of their life or else they wouldnt lie like they do to you. I have only two true female friends...and they share everything with me...warts and all. No lies either. And they tell me things that would make most dudes judge them if those guys were trying to date them. They know I view them as bros, so they have no reason not to be real with me. Thats the difference right there.

I didnt pick my chick friends because I thought they were "pure"...because one of them is faaaar from it. I pick my friends because we click and get along well. Some guys need to just grow up and stop viewing every single female they meet through the lens of their damn d!cks. Then you will get a bit further in understanding our whole dynamic with women. OP, you should try and make friends with women you dont want to bang...then them being pure wont matter.

 

[Jitterbug]

I'll leave the sexual undercurrent to Freud and his disciples.

I see this issue as similar to defending your sister's honour, only to find out later that she really is the town bike.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Guys,

As far as the Sexual Politics underlying this thread are concerned, I DO agree that men's sexual activity and women's sexual activity are often viewed by many in society very differently. I also agree that as a result of this, SOME of the judgments leveled against either sex can be quite harsh. Sometimes DESERVEDLY so, and sometimes not. But I'll save that topic for another discussion...

Moving on to the equally viable topic of Betrayal:

Let's "temporarily" remove SEX from our minds as the central theme of Pandora's thread. Hey, I know it's HARD (pun intended), but let's try it anyway.

Here's a long-assed, hypothetical question:

If you were routinely STRONGLY defending two friends of yours that other people were always accusing of being a couple of lowdown, dirty ass crooks--------and the REASON why you felt justified in defending them was because they repeatedly told YOU that all they were was just a couple of regular, upstanding citizens,

But WAIT-----out of NOWHERE, you suddenly find out that their asses were REALLY a couple of full time contract killers who also dabbled in a little cocaine and heroin trafficking on the side-------ALL ALONG!

If this happened to you, do you think it's possible that you might feel just a little bit BETRAYED?

 

[juicywa]

Here's a long-assed, hypothetical question:

If you were routinely STRONGLY defending two friends of yours that other people were always accusing of being a couple of lowdown, dirty ass crooks--------and the REASON why you felt justified in defending them was because they repeatedly told YOU that all they were was just a couple of regular, upstanding citizens,

But WAIT-----out of NOWHERE, you suddenly find out that their asses were REALLY a couple of full time contract killers who also dabbled in a little cocaine and heroin trafficking on the side-------ALL ALONG!

If this happened to you, do you think it's possible that you might feel just a little bit BETRAYED?

Analogies are bad. Bad analogy is bad.

The deal is, 99% of women are "sluts". Once you're okay with that fact then this shouldn't have been an issue.

It was your(pandora) fault actually, believing that these girls are perfect angels.


Also, I sense a lot of guys here have misconstrued views regarding women having sex/multiple partners. Just accept the fact that women love sex as much as you do and that women have more sexual partners in their lifetime than men (on average). That means, if you are not banging them someone else is. Once you accept that, this post is silly.


A better analogy would be the story of the scorpion and the frog.

Once upon a time, a scorpion wants to cross a river but he cant swim, so he asks the frog for help. The frog says, "fvck you, you are just going to sting me with your fooking tail".

"No, I promise I wont. We'd both die if I did, what sense is that?", said the scorpion.

The frog thought about it and admitted that the scorpion was right. I mean what kind of dumbass would do something foolish that would result in their own death.

So as they are crossing, the frog feels a sharp stick behind his back.

"Foook youuuu Scorpion, you just fooked me in the ass. Now we'll both drown. Whyyyyyy... whyyyy did you do it?"

"Sorry bro, it's just my nature", said the scorpion.

The frog's anus was bleeding from the scorpion's anal penetration of his long tail. The frog died of blood loss but the scorpion lived.


So fellas, it's just women's nature to sleep around (like us).

 

[timmylivingalie]

Not unless you use them for wing girls.