Dont surpress sexuality for female "platonic friendship"..not worth it

[Pandora]

I have two female platonic friends who i looked at as almost sisters. They are hot but i actively suppressed my sexual nature for the sake of the friendship. These girls really liked my friendship and any chance they got would attempt to hang and kick it with me. I have know them for about a year and was under the impression that they were good girls. One SWORE that they were a virgin and the other SWORE that they had only slept with one guy. I am thinking why would they lie to me? Im not their BF of F-buddy.

A few months back i found out that one almost had sex with a guy she had just met that night but the condom malfunctioned. I was shocked! This seemed totally out of character for her. Come to find out shes not as good as she claims to be and that she kinda easy. She then cried to me about how this was not usual of her and how i should not judge her.

The same thing happens to the other one who is even more innocent acting, but she actually does got b**ged out by a mutual friend. I was even more shocked becuz this one SWORE she was a super virgin. She met this guy the first night and it went down, and the mutual friend told me she was no virgin.

The point i am trying to make is that female platonic "friends" who cherish ur friendship and what you think of them will often lie to uphold an image of chastity for you. They can do this for months to years. They do this even though they don't seem to have any real sexual interest in you ( you have been friend zoned).

It makes us guys look stupid becuz in order to have that female friend, you had to actively suppress your sexual desire for them. You did this becuz you thought they were pure and didnt want to corrupt them. You thought they were quality girls and deserved ur pure friendship. Nope. I was fooled. If i had known that they were open for business like the other regulars girls i woulda either tried to go for it, or said screw the friendzone and nexted them. Can y'all relate?

 

[Robert28]

can I relate? hell yeah I can relate! I've lived your story many times in my life until finally I said the heck with it. being super duper bestie friends with a girl ain't worth it. weigh the pro's against the con's and you'll come to your senses. I can honestly say that my TRUE best friends are all guys. the type of friends if I was locked up in jail and needed bail money, I know I could call one of them and they would put up the bail money for me. now, I do have girls that are friends through mutual friends, but I would never trust them with anything.

ask yourself this question. what does any woman bring to the table in friendship that a guy doesn't? the ONLY thing I've ever been able to come up with is that girls are better to be seen with in social settings where you're trying to meet other girls. they're better social proof then a group of your buddies at the club or a party or wherever. that's it, that's their only plus. do women give good dating advice? he!! fvck no! can women help you work on a car? well some butches can, but do you really want to be friends with manly lesbians? i don't.

 

[Bible_Belt]

You thought they were quality girls

But if it had been you that they had been having sex with, would that have meant that they were low quality? I think your perspective is biased, and my larger point is that you should not think it's bad for a woman to have sex.

Please forgive the criticism, though, because I agree very much with your point. I would never be "friends" with a woman in the sense of spending time with them and getting nothing physical in return. And yet at the same time, I think I have been great friends to all of the women I've had sex with. That's the trade. Otherwise, you're giving and getting nothing in return.

 

[Pandora]

the ONLY thing I've ever been able to come up with is that girls are better to be seen with in social settings where you're trying to meet other girls. they're better social proof then a group of your buddies at the club or a party or wherever. that's it, that's their only plus. do women give good dating advice? he!! fvck no! can women help you work on a car? well some butches can, but do you really want to be friends with manly lesbians? i don't.

Yeh man i 100% agree. Thats about all i can come up with also.

 

[Pandora]

Bible Belt to be honest im sure a small part of me is pissed that they didnt sleep with me yet they were doing everyone else. I hear ya man.
Its just that it pisses me off when they intentionally lie and misrepresent themselves to the guy friend as some type of asexual angel. They blatantly LIED about their sexual character to me many times. Lets face it, men treat women in accordance to their sexual character. If the girl love sex she should just let it be known. I am ok with them not having sex with me. They just dont find me attractive..ok wut ev.

The problem is when i start to stand up for them when guys bad mouth them about being who*es or when i treat them differently becuz i think they are innocent. I don't make the same jokes around them, i dont let guys talk cr*p about them, i treat them with respect etc. Then after all that, you get blind sided you feel like an a**. I admit i was being naive.

 

[Mike32ct]

With a trusted guy friend, you two can talk very openly about personal stuff including sex.

With female friends, IME, it's very one sided. Let me guess... You spilled your guts to them (honestly) about your dating and sex life, but they didn't tell you much of anything (true) about theirs?

They want your juicy war (dating/sex) stories for gossip purposes and interesting conversation, but anything THEY do is classified.

Welcome to the world of female "friends."

 

[Nutz]

I have two female platonic friends who i looked at as almost sisters. They are hot but i actively suppressed my sexual nature for the sake of the friendship. These girls really liked my friendship and any chance they got would attempt to hang and kick it with me. I have know them for about a year and was under the impression that they were good girls. One SWORE that they were a virgin and the other SWORE that they had only slept with one guy. I am thinking why would they lie to me? Im not their BF of F-buddy.

A few months back i found out that one almost had sex with a guy she had just met that night but the condom malfunctioned. I was shocked! This seemed totally out of character for her. Come to find out shes not as good as she claims to be and that she kinda easy. She then cried to me about how this was not usual of her and how i should not judge her.

The same thing happens to the other one who is even more innocent acting, but she actually does got b**ged out by a mutual friend. I was even more shocked becuz this one SWORE she was a super virgin. She met this guy the first night and it went down, and the mutual friend told me she was no virgin.

The point i am trying to make is that female platonic "friends" who cherish ur friendship and what you think of them will often lie to uphold an image of chastity for you. They can do this for months to years. They do this even though they don't seem to have any real sexual interest in you ( you have been friend zoned).

It makes us guys look stupid becuz in order to have that female friend, you had to actively suppress your sexual desire for them. You did this becuz you thought they were pure and didnt want to corrupt them. You thought they were quality girls and deserved ur pure friendship. Nope. I was fooled. If i had known that they were open for business like the other regulars girls i woulda either tried to go for it, or said screw the friendzone and nexted them. Can y'all relate?

Relevant:

Secret Society

 

[Bible_Belt]

A man who tells himself he is ok with women being as much of a h0r as men try to be, is only rationalizing away his lack of options or alpha-tude in ability to get a more pristine girl.

You know, I never did want a new car. They look good, but they are just too much trouble for me. You have to be too careful with them and there is a long breaking-in period where you have to be extra gentle. I much prefer to buy someone else's project car, where they have invested a lot of time making it able to do new things, but yet ended up getting frustrated with it and not wanting it any more. Often, the reason to get rid of the car is emotional, and they end up regretting it later, especially when they see me enjoying what they thought they no longer wanted. I just want the most performance I can get out of my car, and it's easier to enjoy the fruits of someone else's work than to put in all of that work myself.

 

[Iceberg]

It makes us guys look stupid becuz in order to have that female friend, you had to actively suppress your sexual desire for them. You did this becuz you thought they were pure and didnt want to corrupt them. You thought they were quality girls and deserved ur pure friendship. Nope. I was fooled. If i had known that they were open for business like the other regulars girls i woulda either tried to go for it, or said screw the friendzone and nexted them. Can y'all relate?

I can have women friends.

Let's call this what it is - your failure was your own. Not the woman's.

You wanted these girls, but you didn't pursue. So you decided to call this "platonic friendship". Calling it something different doesn't eliminate your desire for the girl.

I hate to stick up for these girls, but as far as the few women friends I have....I couldn't care less who they f**k. Because if they're my friends, I don't have to surpress my desire for them. There is no desire. Either the girl is someone I f**ked in the past, or someone who quickly killed my attraction to her, or she's someone I was never attracted to at all. There's no suppression. If you're suppressing desire, then your friendship isn't a friendship.

I'm not trying to break your balls. When I was younger, I had the same feelings. It hurt me to find out that a female "friend" was banging lots of guys, or not "pure". But now that I can see myself honestly, I know that those feelings were based around my desire to f**k these friends. Therefor, they weren't platonic friends. They were girls I wanted to f**k, but I failed to.

As Bible Belt said, your perspective is biased. It's tainted. You wanted them, someone else got them, and now they suddenly have a lower status in your eyes. I'm not criticizing you, but you gotta be honest with yourself. If these were two male "platonic friends," would your friendship be tainted because they sleep around with multiple women? Probably not.

 

[speed dawg]

I can have women friends.

Let's call this what it is - your failure was your own. Not the woman's.

You wanted these girls, but you didn't pursue. So you decided to call this "platonic friendship". Calling it something different doesn't eliminate your desire for the girl.

I hate to stick up for these girls, but as far as the few women friends I have....I couldn't care less who they f**k. Because if they're my friends, I don't have to surpress my desire for them. There is no desire. Either the girl is someone I f**ked in the past, or someone who quickly killed my attraction to her, or she's someone I was never attracted to at all. There's no suppression. If you're suppressing desire, then your friendship isn't a friendship.

I'm not trying to break your balls. When I was younger, I had the same feelings. It hurt me to find out that a female "friend" was banging lots of guys, or not "pure". But now that I can see myself honestly, I know that those feelings were based around my desire to f**k these friends. Therefor, they weren't platonic friends. They were girls I wanted to f**k, but I failed to.

As Bible Belt said, your perspective is biased. It's tainted. You wanted them, someone else got them, and now they suddenly have a lower status in your eyes. I'm not criticizing you, but you gotta be honest with yourself. If these were two male "platonic friends," would your friendship be tainted because they sleep around with multiple women? Probably not.

Great post right there.

On the whole girls saying they're virgins thing......I used to rail this girl that told me she was a virgin before me. I then found out that some dude in HS used to rail her in the ass, but she still considered herself a virgin because it wasn't vaginal sex. Yeah OKAY.

Not to mention the stupidity of anyone who'd believe that anyway. So here you are, this virgin chick and your boyfriend, and you say, hey stick it in my ass so I can still say I'm a virgin! Sh*t doesn't happen that way.

 

[lifeislearning]

Thank God Iceberg and speed dawg see this for what it really is. What kind of sh!tty friend are you to dump on your friends because of what they do in their love life? Any friend you have based on their "purity" or that they might "sleep with me" is a sham. Friendship is based on mutual interests and respect, and their sexual conduct in no way threatens this. Being lied to and fooled sucks, but that's not the focus of your thread.

They "deserved ur pure friendship?" What the hell is that other than an excuse for keeping a possible f-buddy around?

Oh, that's right, you "thought they were pure and didnt want to corrupt them." My @ss. You had no game, and now you are pissed because somebody beat you to it.

At least own your actions, and be honest with yourself. I'm sick of this sh!t gentlemen. So many of us are corrupted by our own mindset when we see women as nothing but a c0ck koozie. Yes, some women don't deserve more than a quick fling (and some don't even deserve that) but there ARE other benefits to having women in your life. Some are actually as talented, intelligent, and beneficial to your life as men. Gasp!

I have a few women friends, some of whom are very attractive, and I could potentially bang, but is it worth it? Is it worth it to loose a friendship, endanger MY relationship with my girlfriend, and risk slander as a douche?

How you answer that question will determine where you are in your own development on this path we call life, and if a piece of @ss is worth risking all that, you should figure out why. Is that piece really worth it, or is your current life so mundane you will do anything for change?

Can this forum move past the Enlightened AFCism and back to the improvement of our lives?

 

[DonJuanabe]

If you are suppressing your sexual desires for platonic friendship then you really are not a platonic friend -- you're a hypocrite. You have to be honest with yourself before you can be honest with others; in this case you've been lying to yourself that you actually want platonic friendship with these girls and then you lied to them about it. You are not their friend nor do you want to be their friend so just forget about them.

 

[amoka]

A few months back i found out that one almost had sex with a guy she had just met that night but the condom malfunctioned. I was shocked! This seemed totally out of character for her. Come to find out shes not as good as she claims to be and that she kinda easy. She then cried to me about how this was not usual of her and how i should not judge her.

What were you expecting when you confronted her on the matter? Heck, why are you trying to investigate on their sexual life? You'd kiss my "platonic" friendship goodbye if I were any of these girls.

Take the advices from other posts and stop deceiving yourself.

 

[HariPoter13]

You should watch this video Brainwash (5/7) - Sex. Basically it disproves most of the shit that sociologists have been trying to push; feminists included. And it shows why it's ok for a man to be promiscous, but not for a woman. Alas, women must protect their reputation at all costs.


Btw, did you know this: 28% of homosexual men had more than 1000 partners. Lesbians are more promiscuous than heterosexual women, but even they rarely go above 100. The rate limiting step of heterosexual male promiscuity are the women themselves. Testosterone. Powerful shit.

 

[Greasy Pig]

A man who tells himself he is ok with women being as much of a h0r as men try to be, is only rationalizing away his lack of options or alpha-tude in ability to get a more pristine girl.

You know, I never did want a new car. They look good, but they are just too much trouble for me. You have to be too careful with them and there is a long breaking-in period where you have to be extra gentle. I much prefer to buy someone else's project car, where they have invested a lot of time making it able to do new things, but yet ended up getting frustrated with it and not wanting it any more. Often, the reason to get rid of the car is emotional, and they end up regretting it later, especially when they see me enjoying what they thought they no longer wanted. I just want the most performance I can get out of my car, and it's easier to enjoy the fruits of someone else's work than to put in all of that work myself.

Ha ha, I have to admit that I prefer my women to have been "gotten to" before I get to them.
Maybe I'm just a lazy SOB.

 

[backbreaker]

What were you expecting when you confronted her on the matter? Heck, why are you trying to investigate on their sexual life? You'd kiss my "platonic" friendship goodbye if I were any of these girls.

Take the advices from other posts and stop deceiving yourself.

I'm going to take this a step further.

when I am screening new male friends, do I ask them or even give a **** about how "pure" they are? hell no I don't. How many people a person has had sex with or even their sexual orientatation as i do know a few gay guys and it doesn't bother me, is not a factor into rather I think someone is a friend or not.

and the thing is, women know this. when women are being screened by other women they don't really give a **** how sexually active a woman is or is not to be their friend. it's not like all the 10 guys and over group in this corner, etc lol. most group of friends have all varities of sexual experience.

so what i am getting at is, these "pure" women, event though you won't ackolwege it, know good and damn well what you are after even if you preclaim to not be after it, and put up with it anyway, which goes to show that they are using you just as much as you are using them. they will let you play friends with them becuase it's in their benefit to do so. you fill up their time you pump up their self esteem , you event ake them out and pay for ****, you talk tot hem all about their pboelms and beucase you are pretending to not want to fvck them, they aren't obligated to do anything in return to you.

the irony is that neither one of you are pure. you want to fvck them and they want to use you, but both of you pretend to give a **** about being friends because it's in both of your precived best interest; you think that by showing you give a **** about their "pureness as women" taht it will be the in road to hooking up with one of them, they feel that as long as you are around nd they don't have to give you any sex /maintenance, why trhe hell not let you go on thinking that you are really friends.


I stopped having female friends a LONG time ago. first because I am married and I"m sure my wife would not appreciate that very much. but even before i was married, i realized it's just a game.

femlae/male friendship is a rubix cube that cannot ever be fixed. either she likes you and you don't like her, you like her and she doesn't like you.. even if you aren't attracted to her and she is not attracted to you, why would i want to hang out with a girl who is not attracted to me, better yet, why is a girl I am not even attracted to, who i don't think is on my level, not find me date worthy?

there is no situation where you can be friends with a female and there not be some emotional undertones somewhere of something. even my old oneitis who I have no feelings for, honestly and she's now married, if i were single and she were single i'm quite sure we would hook up. But the onlyt reason we are friends is beucase we are both 100% honest. we know we are attracted to each other physically, but we also know that the ship for that has passed and neither of us will jeoprodize what we have with our spouses, plus we know that we just arn't compatible like that. she wants a man she can controla nd i'm ont that guy and i want someone more interesting than she is.

the last female friend i had, who i met in AA and while she was cute, s he was a little too.. lol hard core is the best way I can describe it.. kinda punk rockish.. cute but not what i am into... she pretended to be my friend but was basially my surrogate GF. I had to treat her just like a GF but with no sex. she got pissy when i didn't spend time with her, got pissy when i would bring my GF to aA meetings and not sit with her, got pissy when i would want to spend time with my GF, got pissy when i would not take her out to eat to spend time with her.

it's just not worth it.

 

[Pandora]

I'm going to take this a step further.

when I am screening new male friends, do I ask them or even give a **** about how "pure" they are? hell no I don't. How many people a person has had sex with or even their sexual orientatation as i do know a few gay guys and it doesn't bother me, is not a factor into rather I think someone is a friend or not.

and the thing is, women know this. when women are being screened by other women they don't really give a **** how sexually active a woman is or is not to be their friend. it's not like all the 10 guys and over group in this corner, etc lol. most group of friends have all varities of sexual experience.

so what i am getting at is, these "pure" women, event though you won't ackolwege it, know good and damn well what you are after even if you preclaim to not be after it, and put up with it anyway, which goes to show that they are using you just as much as you are using them. they will let you play friends with them becuase it's in their benefit to do so. you fill up their time you pump up their self esteem , you event ake them out and pay for ****, you talk tot hem all about their pboelms and beucase you are pretending to not want to fvck them, they aren't obligated to do anything in return to you.

the irony is that neither one of you are pure. you want to fvck them and they want to use you, but both of you pretend to give a **** about being friends because it's in both of your precived best interest; you think that by showing you give a **** about their "pureness as women" taht it will be the in road to hooking up with one of them, they feel that as long as you are around nd they don't have to give you any sex /maintenance, why trhe hell not let you go on thinking that you are really friends.


I stopped having female friends a LONG time ago. first because I am married and I"m sure my wife would not appreciate that very much. but even before i was married, i realized it's just a game.

femlae/male friendship is a rubix cube that cannot ever be fixed. either she likes you and you don't like her, you like her and she doesn't like you.. even if you aren't attracted to her and she is not attracted to you, why would i want to hang out with a girl who is not attracted to me, better yet, why is a girl I am not even attracted to, who i don't think is on my level, not find me date worthy?

there is no situation where you can be friends with a female and there not be some emotional undertones somewhere of something. even my old oneitis who I have no feelings for, honestly and she's now married, if i were single and she were single i'm quite sure we would hook up. But the onlyt reason we are friends is beucase we are both 100% honest. we know we are attracted to each other physically, but we also know that the ship for that has passed and neither of us will jeoprodize what we have with our spouses, plus we know that we just arn't compatible like that. she wants a man she can controla nd i'm ont that guy and i want someone more interesting than she is.

the last female friend i had, who i met in AA and while she was cute, s he was a little too.. lol hard core is the best way I can describe it.. kinda punk rockish.. cute but not what i am into... she pretended to be my friend but was basially my surrogate GF. I had to treat her just like a GF but with no sex. she got pissy when i didn't spend time with her, got pissy when i would bring my GF to aA meetings and not sit with her, got pissy when i would want to spend time with my GF, got pissy when i would not take her out to eat to spend time with her.

it's just not worth it.

I really like this post man. Ima digest what you say. My thing is i wonder if they always know that deep down u wanna ba*g them, even if u didnt initially. Its odd becuz some times chicks will really really attempt to pursue a friendship with you. Like almost AFC when it comes to hanging around you platonically. They are always texting or wanting to chill or workout with you. I am wondering is it becuz they are thristy to get the benefits of hanging around a cool sane guy. Like they really like having a good listener or cool person around.

 

[Pandora]

You should watch this video Brainwash (5/7) - Sex. Basically it disproves most of the shit that sociologists have been trying to push; feminists included. And it shows why it's ok for a man to be promiscous, but not for a woman. Alas, women must protect their reputation at all costs.


Btw, did you know this: 28% of homosexual men had more than 1000 partners. Lesbians are more promiscuous than heterosexual women, but even they rarely go above 100. The rate limiting step of heterosexual male promiscuity are the women themselves. Testosterone. Powerful shit.

haha yeh im watching the link right now, it looks interesting. The other parts look good too. Thanks

 

[Pandora]

You're assuming that he doesnt feel screwed simply because he spent so much time being friendly with slvts. No one wants to be around slvts unless its for sex.

Royalpairflush, yeh man But even if i don't get some from them, its ok, i just woulda thought they would of been open with me and not tell me the opposite. its also that i was shocked at how people can live a totally different life than what they present to you. People, including myself, play many different faces depending on who they are interacting with. The freaky party girl with her one friend my want to present herself as the kinda prudish tomboy girl with you. I was just shocked.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Hey, is this the line that we stand in to take turns whooping Pandora's ass?



Just kidding, Pandora.

To take a different look at it from most of the other guys:

When we get beyond the whole physical attraction/guys with female friends thing-------I clearly see that ONE of the things that pissed you off about this has NOTHING to do with whether or not you personally wanted to get with them.

What I don't think has been addressed here yet is the sense of BETRAYAL that you feel at being lied to by these "friends" of yours. Let's assume for a moment that your primary goal was NOT trying to "low-key", sneak up on some PUSSSSY-------(which I don't believe you were. Because if you've been on this site for awhile, you already know better)--------I think that you would actually have a similar feeling of betrayal if these were MALE friends who lied to you.

In other words, what I think hasn't been addressed here is that it's ALWAYS a fukked up situation when you defend your friends-----when you STAND UP for them to other people only to find out that their asses were LYING to you all along. There's nothing like defending somebody's honor only to find out that THEY really weren't "honorable" after all.

So in that particular matter, I think you have every right to be disappointed in those chicks. Unlike some folks, I don't give people easy, free "passes" for lying to me---------whether they're male or female.


PEACE.


V.U.