Dont Mean to be a Whiny Little ***** but...

[MrSpiffy]

I have a bad self image. Thus, whenever I approach women I continually think negatively because I dont think they are going to be attracted to me. I realize that Im not the most confident person in the world, and have read just about everything I can get my hands on about gaining confidence and believing in myself. None of which seems to work. I can read it, but I have trouble applying it to my life.

Generally speaking, I dont think I look bad, I'd say im a 6 or slightly better than average. But, I continually dont believe in myself. Im not sure how to solve this problem. I thought that perhaps you would have an idea. How is it that develope a better self image? more confidence? Any help would be appreciated.

 

[Starman]

new clothes , exercise , and staying away from negative people , and more positive ones helped me

 

[stormwriter]

"I continually dont believe in myself"

Well, then NO ONE ELSE WILL!!!

You seem to be worried about looks, and EVERYONE agrees, looks matter.

Dude, there is ALWAYS something you can do to make yourself look better, which in turn, makes you feel better, which in turn, gives you confidence, which in turn gets you CHICKS AHOY.

What can you improve about your appearance? Lift weights, get a stylish haircut, tan, wear the best clothes you can, smile, at least PRETEND to look confident. WALK like you are confident.

(that walk thing really works by the way... Everyone makes fun of how i walk, cause i'm tall and skinny and walk REALLY fast. It looks STUPID, so i stopped doing it.)

C'mon MrSpiffy - DO SOMETHING. At this point, you have to TRY TRY TRY TRY and TRY.

Hell, i'm at least 20 pounds underweight, and i don't have much muscles, but i got a membership to Bally's yesterday. I'm going to lift like a demon.

Why?

Cause chicks like dudes with muscles.

That's the ONLY reason.

Pathetic, huh? And i HATE lifting weights.

Well, that's what the GAME is about. Think about what type of chick you want to attract, and do what you can NOW to attract this chick in the FUTURE.

Confidence is like a process, not a product. It slowly grows in you. It's not like you read something on this board and think, "BINGO! That's it!"
You get confidence from experience, from improving yourself, from accomplishing goals, and from banging hot chicks.

We have no idea what you look like, or act like, or whether you are funny or interesting.

Just remember, chicks want a FUN guy. You don't sound like much fun to be around in your current state. You don't have to be Brad Pitt, cause if you were, you wouldn't be f**king her anyways! You'd be f**king Jennifer Anniston!

So, make yourself infectious to be around. Be funny, interesting, and COOL.

And oh yeah, GET IN THE GYM and to the MALL for some cool clothes!

 

[squirrels]

Sometimes the hardest part of this whole process is challenging the perception that "there's nothing you can do about stuff." When you finally do, you'll start to see that it's only a perception. Nothing more.

 

[Adr3nalin]

1. get a mirror

2. look at yourself

3. write down on a piece of paper what you'd like to change about yourself, any facial features you dislike.

4. accept them.


I have a small forehead, big ears, my nose is a little wide, chin a little long, and my eyes are amost chinese like.

However, i get compliments now and again, and looks from girls of all ages.

It's about the person you project to everyone.

Think about movies. Who writes them? Writers. They have philosophies and views about life and incorporate them into scripts. Now nobody on any given day would listen to what they have to say about anything, after all everyone's got an opinion. So what do they do? They want to be heard, so they write it down on paper, and make a movie or book out of it and incorporate their opinions and views into them.

People watch these movies and read these books, therefore their opinions/views are heard. Some people like their views, some people don't. But everyone respects them as long as it can be taken seriously.

Become what you want to attract.

 

[Brasco]

I'd say im a 6 or slighly better

Tell yourself your a 10 and you will be a 10, if you tell yourself your a 6 you will be a 6. Gain some confidence dude, get with the program. Do what ever you have to do to make yourself look your best. That will give you more confidence. Don't try and get the perfect 10 if you don't feel like a 10. Work your way up to the 10's.

 

[RazzleDazzle]

Get busy homie. It's not about chicks, it's about yourself (realized this myself lately). Start doing things, all things, anything. Fill up your time. Make it so when someone asks you what you did yesterday, you have to pull out a list. Hit the gym, join a sport, make goals, achieve them, make more. Get to the point to where your life is rich.

You don't need women to be happy. They're just for kicks and giggles. Like the icing on the cake. Or just the cherry on the pie. If you don't like how you look, change what you can, accept what you can't. God doesn't waste clay on people, you have a purpose.

Have fun.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

As mentioned by the previous posts, look at yourself, every aspect of what makes you and list, yes, on paper, the things you would like to improve. Be as specific as you can, only then, can you begin the process of improvement.

There is definitely different things you can do to improve your physical appearance.

Do whatever it takes to work on your "Inner Game". I would recomend to you Brian Tracy's tape program "The Psychology Of Achievement." On any given day, you might be able to get it for under $10 on ebay.

Model others who are already at the point you want to be. Again, put it on paper. List the qualities of the "Ideal You". Make a list of people that fit that description. Find out what they do/did. If you know these people, go find out what they do. Pick their brain.

Time for you to learn a new set of skills. All the information/education is available to you, its just a matter of doing.

 

[Pecker]

I know a short, skinny, weird-lookin little guy that has an incredibly hot girlfriend. I ate lunch at the cafeteria with this dude a couple times, and it's incredible how eager he is to talk to hot girls (strangers!)...he doesn't cheat on his girlfriend, he just says he's "stayin' sharp."

Ever since I knew this guy I stopped being so critical about my looks.

Me: Well, I gotta go to the gym shortly...

Him: I've been goin' lately too. Cept it's inhabited by hominids with no necks.

Me: Girls like muscles though, that's why I go.

Him: Yeah, but all the muscle in the world doesn't give you the stilo , which is what I got.

Every time I think I'm not studley enough, I say my mantra: Remember the stilo.

 

[Mr. Mystery]

Read Psyco Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. It'll do ya good.

Mr. Mystery

 

[Sojourner]

Whatsoever you think, that you shall be. Positive thoughts will produce a person brimming with confidence and high self esteem. I'm a believer that in a large city, there are literally hundreds if not thousands of girls who find you attractive at face value. Not all of them are HBs of course, but if you work at self improvement gradually, you'll land a few of the HBs that are brain wired to groove with you. Accentuate the positive!

 

[StuartScott x 2]

I used to be like this, it all changed when I started lifting weights and became a waiter. Talk about a boost in confidence. It didn't come at once but it eventually came. The weights gave me the image and being a waiter gave me the confidence and brought out my witty side 10 fold. I was always funny with people I knew but to be able to make people I don't know laugh on a daily basis did wonders for my self esteem.

I'm tellin' ya, if you're young and you lack confidence, become a waiter. Your game will improve so much. I PROMISE, just take the initiative. The amount of money you make a lot of the time depends on the rapport you build with the customers. That in itself should help you take the iniative

 

[MrSpiffy]

Thx for the help, fellas. I'll try to figure this $h1t out.