dont know where im going wrong

[ink_wizard]

hey fellas,

i dont know if its just me or if the dating game is just getting more sh1tter and sh1tter.
I usually do online dating as i live in a small town and its hard to meet decent quality girls but it seems that no matter what i do i cant get a girlfriend.
For example i just recently been rejected by a HB7 who mind you was all into me before we met, was flirty, told me she wanted to be my gf, had great connection so we decide to meet and i thought it was going well...we laughed alot, had great conversations, we kissed and cuddled quite a bit and she seemed fairly interested and even her friend who we bumped into said i was cute. Two days later she gives me the LJBF line stating that she has too many "family issues" right now too worry about a relationship but said she liked me alot....and hasnt contacted me all week?

Its situations like this that keep happening to me time and time again...theyre all into me and then we meet and its a different story. Yes i do look like my pictures because even my female friends have said i do and they cant figure out where im going wrong either. The girls i am seeing are around 18-22.

I dont know i feel like im jinxed or just meant to be single. im 24 and never been in a real relationship before. I have read the DJ bible over and over and applied lots of tactics but still fail.

So what am i doing wrong? i would love everyones input. thanks

 

[( . )( . )]

it seems that no matter what i do i cant get a girlfriend....

I have read the DJ bible over and over and applied lots of tactics but still fail.

So what am i doing wrong? i would love everyones input. thanks

I don't recall ever reading in the DJ bible that guys new to game should be looking for a girlfriend right off the mark.

This is the time you should be having a blast putting all this new info into practice, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, getting loads of rejections and loving it, getting that new thick skin, learning what works and what doesn't, reading every bit of self improvement knowledge you can get your hands on.

Can you honestly say your putting yourself out there and doing the real hard yards?

For me personally this was probably one of the most exciting times of my life and looking for the "one" gf was the furthest thing from my mind. There'll be plenty of time for that later, learning how a man gets to have options comes first.

 

[ink_wizard]

im 24 and feel like im running out of time to settle down! im more in to finding a girlfriend rather then one night stands etc

i'll admitt ive been sticking to online dating as i find it helps people like me who arent into the "party scene" and are genuinely shy. But getting rejection after rejection is so discouraging

 

[( . )( . )]

im 24 and feel like im running out of time to settle down! im more in to finding a girlfriend rather then one night stands etc

Man, 24 is when you should be just getting started, Climbing mountains, sowing your oats, pissing in the urinal that is your world. Pook 101 and sh!t.

You've got years and years, your a man, not a woman. Worrying about settling with "the one" is a pointless endeavour.

But getting rejection after rejection is so discouraging

No way, rejections are just opportunities you get given to see what needs fixing. Rejections are the only way your going to get good at this.

EDIT: And you got to get off the internet dating sites, small town is no excuse. Move.

 

[lamobatsman]

Did you guys speak on phone/skype before you met up? Just curious

 

[Zarky]

OP, you're young and you live in a small town. Both of those things are working against you. I couldn't get a date to save my life (except with an uber-fatty) between the ages of 22-26.

 

[ink_wizard]

So what am I meant to do? Move to another city? Easier said then done when you have no job lined up to go to. And yes some I have Skyped beforehand some not. They all still pull the same sh1t

 

[Fatal Jay]

I don't recall ever reading in the DJ bible that guys new to game should be looking for a girlfriend right off the mark.

This is the time you should be having a blast putting all this new info into practice, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, getting loads of rejections and loving it, getting that new thick skin, learning what works and what doesn't, reading every bit of self improvement knowledge you can get your hands on.

Can you honestly say your putting yourself out there and doing the real hard yards?

For me personally this was probably one of the most exciting times of my life and looking for the "one" gf was the furthest thing from my mind. There'll be plenty of time for that later, learning how a man gets to have options comes first.

Love this post from mr.boobs himself, I think guys defeat themselves when they are looking for the one gf

 

[moneyisking]

man, love (.)(.) for the verbal knowledge and wisdom; as a guy in 23, I always think that I am an idiot for not getting any azz, but man I will make fairly good bank after I graduate this semester and just explore my young azz with dough and have hell lot more options when it comes to women! so you too sir don't be discouraged. we are still young; if there are players who get azz left and right, there are ppl like me or you who don't get that much, but the beauty is the happiness we may attain as we raise our bars and gain them confidence. lets do this!

 

[Igetit!]

So what am I meant to do? Move to another city?

Won't do you any good to move to another city,cause YOU will still be YOU. You'll just have the same problems in a different place.


Honestly,there's not really enough info here to give you a helpful answer.


Now of course,the chick who told you she had "too many family issues" to worry about dating was full of sh1t. If what she said was true,she wouldn't be trying to date in the first place....she'd work through/resolve her issues FIRST........THEN make a profile and try to date.


You say everything is cool...until you meet. Well HOW LONG after meeting do problems show up? Is it instantly,or do you have like 2 or 3 more dates then the bottom fall out?


If it's instant,might be an attraction issue,as in they don't like how you look. If it's later on,you might wanna check yourself for internal issues,like being needy,clingy,and stuff like that.

 

[ink_wizard]

Won't do you any good to move to another city,cause YOU will still be YOU. You'll just have the same problems in a different place.


Honestly,there's not really enough info here to give you a helpful answer.


Now of course,the chick who told you she had "too many family issues" to worry about dating was full of sh1t. If what she said was true,she wouldn't be trying to date in the first place....she'd work through/resolve her issues FIRST........THEN make a profile and try to date.


You say everything is cool...until you meet. Well HOW LONG after meeting do problems show up? Is it instantly,or do you have like 2 or 3 more dates then the bottom fall out?


If it's instant,might be an attraction issue,as in they don't like how you look. If it's later on,you might wanna check yourself for internal issues,like being needy,clingy,and stuff like that.

They show up instantly....like id go on dates with them or meet them and they all seem to be going well, were both having a good time and they seem genuinely interested....most will kiss me at the end and ofcourse i never message them first at the end of dates they usually do and its always to LJBF me or theyre "not ready for relationships" etc etc which i call bullsh1t on most of the time because few weeks later theyll be on dates with other guys and getting with them......

im not the best looking dude but im not ugly and am always confident and friendly towards them so i dont know what they expect

 

[The LadyKiller]

Haha you're not doing anything wrong. It's called the online jinx. Everyone who does a lot of online dating experiences it.

The Online Jinx: when you look like your photos and the girl seems really into you, but then you meet in person and her feelings change. These changes are masked by any number of common lies ie "im having family problems"

All you can do is be your best and try to immunize yourself to rejection. I'd ask you for your photo, but that obviously isn't the problem anyway. Keep in mind that women online, much like women out in the real world, are 85% crazy and nothing you ever do will be good enough for them.

Brad might be onto something. I went on an online date last month. Although the girl was flirty and chatty prior to the date, her energy disappeared when we met. I looked the same as in the photos. The girl, however, added on a few pounds from her pics.

I don't know the answer ink_wizard, but some of the online chicks aren't all there. They think one thing is going to happen, then fantasize about something else and choose their fantasy as reality. I've experienced some who ignore certain profile traits even though it's in clear writing ("oh you really do have blonde hair?"). To be blunt, the problem might not be you. Frustrating, yes, but also means you could be doing the right things, just not getting the desired result online.

 

[Igetit!]

They show up instantly....like id go on dates with them or meet them and they all seem to be going well, were both having a good time and they seem genuinely interested....most will kiss me at the end and ofcourse i never message them first at the end of dates they usually do and its always to LJBF me or theyre "not ready for relationships" etc etc which i call bullsh1t on most of the time because few weeks later theyll be on dates with other guys and getting with them......

The "LJBF" line is horsesh1t,they'll just trying to find a soft way to reject you,and so is "I'm not ready for a relationship". If they weren't ready for a relationship,then what the hell are the doing on a dating site to begin with?

I think you already know that though.


My only other question would be this....what do you talk about on the dates? And I mean what EXACTLY.

If everything was fine until the date occurred,then the problem is happening WHILE ON the date.


Really there too many variables. They could have just met someone else after the date,was just being "polite" out with you,but not really interested,and on and on. All you can do is fix what you have the power to fix,and the rest just be what it be.


So what do you talk about? Those two responses....the "I'm not ready for a relationship" and the "LJBF" line are generally given cause of no attraction.


Do you just flirt and tease a bit,or talking about wanting a relationship? Cause if you mention wanting a girlfriend on the first date,wanting something lasting or long term,then there's your "Not ready for a relationship" line.


If you can remember what you talk about (and I mean what EXACTLY),it might shed some light on what's going on.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

They show up instantly....like id go on dates with them or meet them and they all seem to be going well, were both having a good time and they seem genuinely interested....most will kiss me at the end and ofcourse i never message them first at the end of dates they usually do and its always to LJBF me or theyre "not ready for relationships" etc etc which i call bullsh1t on most of the time because few weeks later theyll be on dates with other guys and getting with them......

im not the best looking dude but im not ugly and am always confident and friendly towards them so i dont know what they expect

The problem is you are coming across like you want a relationship...because you do.

Chicks online will "pretend" they want a relationship online and even if they meet you but the next best thing or things are spamming their inbox so they just "have" to meet them.

If you are getting them out. Forget the pleasantries and relationship talk. Play the game. Go for drinks, ask them to come over to your place for some more drinks and to "cuddle and watch a movie". Then fvck them.

That's all chicks who use online dating are good for.

You may seriously get what you're looking for if you actually wife one of those chicks up. I tell everyone. It's not "bitterness" etc. It's just a FACT that chicks who use online dating to meet men are ALL damaged in one or more ways.

Forget the coffee dates, "what do you like to do/ let's talk about love and relationships" nonsense with them.

Start meeting them and going for drinks or straight to your place to cuddle and watch a movie = FVCK.

THAT is what those chicks are looking for. If you hesitate or come off as the relationship type of guy and aren't the complete "God" who is going to make all their girlfriends, friends etc. jealous..then they don't want a "relationship" with that type of guy. Either a "God" or a complete lowlife who treats them the only way they LIKE to be treated. Like sh1t.

I'm not joking dude.

 

[ink_wizard]

well for instance with the last girl i met her off facebook and the date was to go over her house and watch movies/cuddle which we did and then as it was getting kinda heated when we were kissing and looking like we were going to have sex she tells me she "wants to wait" so i didnt get a fu*k close.....which i was suprised because shes abit s1utty and everyone knows it.

We usually just chat about everything in general...i ususally let them do all the talking and never bring up relationships...i just go with the flow of the conversation..whats been going on in our lives etc etc

 

[Igetit!]

The problem is you are coming across like you want a relationship...because you do.

This is what I'd been thinking.

well for instance with the last girl i met her off facebook and the date was to go over her house and watch movies/cuddle which we did and then as it was getting kinda heated when we were kissing and looking like we were going to have sex she tells me she "wants to wait" so i didnt get a fu*k close.....which i was suprised because shes abit s1utty and everyone knows it.

So this "cuddling" date from Facebook you had.....was it the FIRST DATE for you and this girl? Dude,you move too fast. You seem to kinda rush things.


In your original post,you said you've never been in a real relationship. In your 2nd post,you said (and I quote).......

im 24 and feel like im running out of time to settle down!

im more in to finding a girlfriend rather then one night stands etc[/B]

You said you feel like you're running out of time to settle down. At 24?

If that's how you feel,then THAT'S WHAT'S COMING ACROSS to chicks.


You wanna settle down and find a girlfriend. Well apparently,THAT VIBE is what the chicks are sensing from you. Nothing wrong with wanting a girlfriend,but to give off that impression on THE FIRST DATE makes chicks take off in the other direction at the speed of light.


I mean damn...you're cuddling and watching movies at her (or your) place for a FIRST date,for the first time you two ever lay eyes on each other? You might wanna pump the breaks a bit.



Another thing is this.....if you wanna one night stand,then fine...have a one night stand. But if you want something more long term,you might not wanna sleep with her on the first date. Hugging,kissing,and touching is all cool,but going "all the way" the first time you and a chick meet in person usually doesn't vote well for LTRs.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

This is what I'd been thinking.





So this "cuddling" date from Facebook you had.....was it the FIRST DATE for you and this girl? Dude,you move too fast. You seem to kinda rush things.


In your original post,you said you've never been in a real relationship. In your 2nd post,you said (and I quote).......



You said you feel like you're running out of time to settle down. At 24?

If that's how you feel,then THAT'S WHAT'S COMING ACROSS to chicks.


You wanna settle down and find a girlfriend. Well apparently,THAT VIBE is what the chicks are sensing from you. Nothing wrong with wanting a girlfriend,but to give off that impression on THE FIRST DATE makes chicks take off in the other direction at the speed of light.


I mean damn...you're cuddling and watching movies at her (or your) place for a FIRST date,for the first time you two ever lay eyes on each other? You might wanna pump the breaks a bit.



Another thing is this.....if you wanna one night stand,then fine...have a one night stand. But if you want something more long term,you might not wanna sleep with her on the first date. Hugging,kissing,and touching is all cool,but going "all the way" the first time you and a chick meet in person usually doesn't vote well for LTRs.

I hear you Igetit but as for online "dating" cuddling and watching a movie is all those types are good for. OP needs to realize that. Hell ANYONE needs to realize that. I've talked to faaar to many and I'd guarantee the same chick online dudes think are "relationship worthy" if certain dudes email them...they'll be getting nude pics,sext, and banging them out while she and the original dude are "Working on a relationship".

Honestly if you go after ANY chick...hot as hell or not. No one these days is jumping right into a relationship unless they are desperate as hell.

As for myself I'm not looking to bang out the most chicks nor jump right into a relationship but I'd take it as it goes.

The thing I've learned long ago is if you come off like you are "desperate" and looking to jump into a relationship (seeming like it) with most people these days you are shooting yourself in the foot. And I don't really blame anyone for not jumping into one. You have to be secure and whole by yourself before you get into one. This way if things don't work out it SHOULD be just a learning experience.

To be honest it seems like most people these days would rather have one night stands etc. as they are too lazy to put the actual work into a relationship. I'd rather not waste my time with those types. It will only screw you up mentally in the end.

 

[Trump]

hey fellas,


For example i just recently been rejected by a HB7 who mind you was all into me before we met, was flirty, told me she wanted to be my gf, had great connection so we decide to meet and i thought it was going well...we laughed alot, had great conversations, we kissed and cuddled quite a bit and she seemed fairly interested and even her friend who we bumped into said i was cute.

Come on bro, a girl this aggressive at the beginning is a looney toon. You haven't even had sex with her yet, and she wants to be your gf? A couple of tweaks away from a solid relationship.

Two days later she gives me the LJBF line stating that she has too many "family issues" right now too worry about a relationship but said she liked me alot....and hasnt contacted me all week?

Look at actions bro, NOT words. I've had girls on the phone say "I love you, I want to marry you, I can't live without you...hold on, my boyfriend is about to take my pants off."

Its situations like this that keep happening to me time and time again...theyre all into me and then we meet and its a different story. Yes i do look like my pictures because even my female friends have said i do and they cant figure out where im going wrong either. The girls i am seeing are around 18-22.

I dont know i feel like im jinxed or just meant to be single. im 24 and never been in a real relationship before. I have read the DJ bible over and over and applied lots of tactics but still fail.

Dude don't be so dramatic. 24 and never been in a real relationship? I know guys who are 31 and have never been in a real relationship, or had sex, or had a girlfriend. They look good, dress well, etc, etc, etc.

My guess would be you are buying what they are selling too easily. I wouldn't spend so much time with them on a first date either, 45 minutes tops.