don't know what to make of her lack of initiative

self-respect

Don Juan
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I've been seeing this 22 yo HB8 for the past few weeks and the dates have been great. I've been choosing fun places and activities, I'm maintaining my frame, keeping her laughing throughout and I always physically escalate to the point where we're sexual by the end of the night (verbal escalation and being sensual through words is something I haven't developed yet so I work with what I have). She's also told me she's had a lot of fun whenever we've been out, whether it's something we're doing or the way I'm teasing her.

What's confusing me is how I have to initiate almost all of the contact. She's very open to me advancing and has made it clear through her actions that she wants me to, but she won't make any moves herself. I'm the person who calls to meet up (she did call and ask me out once), I'm the one who starts touching her when we're together, I'm the one who decides what to do next and where to go (she always agrees), and she doesn't even text me that much compared to girls I've been with before. Basically it feels like I'm the one grabbing her by the hand and taking her on a ride.

Have you guys come across this before when you're controlling the frame and she's possibly a submissive type? Do I have to stimulate her more by being direct and upfront with my words? And could this be related to a couple nights of bad sex due to my anxiety (eating her out and BJs have been good)? There's the feeling of distance when I would expect her to be chasing by this point.
 

Von_S

Don Juan
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I've got a 23 year old plate (we're actually going out tonight) and she's kinda the same way. I think for some girls its just kind of who they are. We do stuff, but it's always me thats putting it together, she'll throw a "hey how's your day" text here and there and I'll kinda spark the conversation a little bit and I'll set up a date. I tried an experiment where I didn't initiate the date and the txt conversation died off; after this happened a few times she hit me up with "Are we just not going to see each other any more?" or something with a little attitude. I worked it out with her and things are cool now but I think she just kinda likes being somewhat submissive. The question is how far does it go? Tonight I'm going to try and figure out her deal and really gage her IL.

One thing to keep in mind OP is:

1) If a chick doesn't want to be around you she'll blow you off quite easily, especially if things are getting sexual.

2) A chick that wants to fvck you may not jump your bones, but may just make herself available for you to take control.
 

self-respect

Don Juan
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I'd agree with that and her IL is high in real life, it's just not something I've come across before.
 

EvilAgenda

Senior Don Juan
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I sense lack of a proper self-esteem in this girl. Initiating all the time, every time can and will get tiring. Here is what you really should consider:

A girl like this will give you headaches trying to figure her out. I prefer my girl to speak up and tell me what's on her mind so I don't have to guess all the time.

The most important thing, however, is, whether or not you are happy and enjoy spending your time with her.
 

Krueg

Master Don Juan
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Women are suppose to be submissive, Men are the aggressors. It's thenatural order of things. If she's still accepting your dates and giving you sex then have fun with her. Its the slvts that do the initiating.
 
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