don't know if girl i'm hanging out with tonight sees us as friends or as more

[crackhead]

This girl I have plans to go shoot pool with later (7.5 - 8) I know through a good friend's hot sister who just moved here a month or 2 ago, but I met her like Thanksgivingish. She came out with us a few weeks ago and we've been informally emailing back and forth since, and she came with us to a show last week with a group of people. This will be the first time we hang out by ourselves. We have a great common interest (music) and have developed a pretty good rapport, decent eye contact, but not too flirty. I don't know if she thinks I want to hook up with her or if she thinks we're just hanging out as friends WHATSOEVER!

I mean sh1t, she DID agree to come out with me when asked, and she has been emailing me for a little while now. I don't wanna wait forever to put the moves on her and then find that someone else has (moved into town fairly recently is a golden opportunity). But I'm not sure because I'm not used to kinda knowing a girl for a while and THEN trying to court her. I'm used to having a fully declared date type hangout with a girl shortly after just meeting her.

Anyone else been in a similar situation?

I pretty much know what I should do:

just try to have fun with the girl, vs. think about bullsh*t
take it slow
be somewhat flirty/sexual
pay attention to the conversation, not think about bullsh!t
be a man

But I've slipped into somewhat of a nervous and unsure AFC state.

I swear with confidence it seems like its all or nothing.

 

[phoenix_eye]

Crackhead, just play it by ear! If you go out with her, and she doesn't act like she likes you, then don't ask her out again! Toward to end of the date try playing with her hair:

Go some place where the two of you can be alone. Hold eye contact with her, then reach over(slowly) and play with her hair. Gently stroking her hair. If she asks you what you are doing, just tell her she has nice hair and keep at it. But if she acts like it bugs her, then stop. Shortly there after end the date! If she like you touching her hair then move on to touch her neck, cheek, move toward her slowly for a kiss. If you move any of the above too fast it will seem rushed and you will seem unexperienced to her. Not good!

By the way, you should not be sweating any date!!! If she doesn't like you so what! Maybe you wouldn't like her? Dating is about getting to know someone, and is a two-way street. You're wondering about her just like she's wonering about you. Right?
At any rate, date as much as you can. I know at times dating seems more like a headache than fun, but that's because you don't make it fun...You need to make a game out of it. A game of playing with her head without her noticing, or finding it discomforting. You are leading her to your way of fun(sex). AFCs let the woman do the leading on the date! You aren't AFC, so do your thing, with tact, and if she doesn't like it so what! She's just one of many!!!

 

[violator]

Kino her. If she likes you more than friends she will react positively. Or better yet, if she touches you, more likely than not, she is attracted to you.

Physical contact is the best indicator of romantic interest.

 

[crackhead]

both good responses

thanks

 

[crackhead]

alright, it's on

I'm feelin pretty good

I'l report back with my report

 

[MR_PERFECT]

She's interested Crackhead. If she wasn't, it would have taken you months to get her to see you. Act as if.........!

 

[es_mer8]

Just grow a pair and ask her out. Read my thread about the friend I have and how he thought he thought he was ****ed over when in reality she still liked him. Whats the worst she's going to say? No? Oooh, big deal. I know rejection sucks ass but I think its better to ask and get shot down than to sit at home with your **** in your hand wondering what could've been.

 

[crackhead]

yo es_mer8, i done already aksed her son... read the post

but anyway, i just got back.. it went good... convo flowing for the most part, no real akward moments. there was still a little afc going on at first (of fvcking course), but i didn't really initiate much kino and also didnt go for the kiss close (or even hug)

HOWEVER, it's better to be cool/smooth and appear unfazed with not getting any than fail miserably at kino or akwardly go for the kiss close, RIGHT? I thinks yes. I'm still very new to the idea of kino (much less applying it successfully) and don't want to fugg it up, it seems that that sh1t takes experience to pull off smoothly and successfully. (i did try a little bit)

When I walked her home, it was getting late and we both have to wake up early as sh2t for work. She DID say she had a good time, and we pretty much all but made concrete plans to hang out again, at which time I thinks more moves will be made on my part. I pretty much feel better about not trying anything knowing that we will hang out again, than making an advance akwardly. yeah

 

[Don Rageta]

good job (he says sarcastically)

you managed to hang out with a girl with a possible high il and there wasn't any awkwardly failed kino and no awkward good night kiss. you did everything right, right?

WRONGO

you can't make an omellet without breaking a few eggs. you don't know if the kiss would have been awkward or not because you didn't go for it. you said "hang out" it sounds like that may be all she's gonna expect from you. i bet those were your exact words to her when you set up your next meeting, huh? "lets hang out again on blah blah blah" if you don't play your cards right that is all you'll end up doing hanging out with a babe, no kino no kiss.

It looks like you might be setting yourself up for a 'LetsJustBeFriends' And that is what will happen if you don't put some kind of move on her. sure you can't be rejected if you don't ask but then again she can't say YES.

he who hesitates masturbates.

 

[crackhead]

yea, i understand this rageta... and appreciate the feedback... but your filling in the blanks the way you see it, which isn't necessarily accurate... i dont think i even said 'hang out' are you in a bad mood? when's the last time you got laid? I'm not tryin to confront you in a negative way... but you're right... I guess i did hesitate and i did jerkit when i got home

perhaps I could have been more aggressive, but i feel good about how it went... it's the first time we hung out, we split the check so it wasnt as if i let her walk all over me. and it was pretty late man, if she woulda invited me in, it could have turned into us rushing into things (buzzed) and not getting much sleep on top of it

maybe i'm making excuses, but what's wrong with not rushing things? you think kissing her goodnight would have really made that much of a difference in her IL? I don't think I jeopordized it at all, I feel like we're more comfortable with eachother... maybe thats completely afc, but i will make sure to put some moves on her next time when we hang out and have more time afterwards

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by crackhead
But I've slipped into somewhat of a nervous and unsure AFC state.

yes. N u know how I knew it? Just by read'N the title.

Now the first thing u will have to do is look down under your penis and look at those spherical things call testicals. U see them? good, grab em just to make sure they are real. Are they? Yes? Now read your post again. It sounds EXACTLY what a female friend of mine would say.

"We have a great common interest (music) and have developed a pretty good rapport, decent eye contact, but not too flirty. I don't know if she thinks I want to hook up with her or if she thinks we're just hanging out as friends WHATSOEVER!

I mean sh1t, she DID agree to come out with me when asked, and she has been emailing me for a little while now. I don't wanna wait forever to put the moves on her"

sorry man, but if u wanna get out of it - make a man of u and call her up, tell her that you will meet her (insert place here) at (insert time here), NOT AS FRIENDS. <---- do not forget that. Shut up and listen to what she says. She's fine with it??? Then u KNOW she wants more. She says - oh well, bla bla bla. U know she just wanna be friends. So u have to choice, u black her out of your life or u stay as a friend.

simple no?


GHOST

 

[crackhead]

yo dee, read the entire post

 

[crackhead]

My initial thinking was that Dee-Zy's suggestion was too blunt, but now that I think about it, that could be a good way to find out. Just straight up say, "we're not hanging out just as friends are we?" and then when she gets a smirk on her face and says no, just plant one on her.

who's got other suggestions?

 

[Shiftkey]

My initial thinking was that Dee-Zy's suggestion was too blunt, but now that I think about it, that could be a good way to find out. Just straight up say, "we're not hanging out just as friends are we?" and then when she gets a smirk on her face and says no, just plant one on her.

who's got other suggestions?

I'd just kiss her. Asking her that is awkward and could put her off.

 

[crackhead]

yeah I was thinkin it was a bit corny

 

[Shiftkey]

My suggestion to you is to make the next get together more date-like. Pick her up at her house, open doors for her (including car door), pay for it, up the kino (IE touch the small of her back as she walks through the door). Make the activity more romantic, such as dinner and a walk afterwords. Most importantly, KISS HER. Do these things and you'll KNOW where you stand.

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by crackhead
yeah I was thinkin it was a bit corny

no no no

You don't ask.

You take her out N u make sure that the words 'Not As Friends' are included. U don't ask 'where is this go'N?' or 'Are u jsut friends'? U TAKE HER OUT.