Don't give in to a woman - always stick to your principles?

[Egoist]

***Updated with more details below. See like post 6 or something.

Isn't it crazy how things that make us attractive to girls in the first place are also the same things that require significant strength to internalize and stick to?

For example, a girl i care about is really hurting right now. She's going through all this crap, and if i was an AFC, i would totally ride in on my white horse and try to be a fvcking knight.

But I won't do that. Because I know better, and I know that as soon as I give up my principles (don't get involved in certain situations) for a woman, I will lose all my power as a man.

So as a result, I am stuck letting a great woman I could have helped face her own demons. If she comes out of it ok, I will know that she might be worth it in the long run. If she messes up, I will know that I was wrong in my positive judgement of her. But its a little bit hard to basically do things the right way on your side, and then let nature take its course. Its the right way, but its a hard way.

I like what Balian says in Kingdom of Heaven (sort of good "how to be a real man" movie):

"You offer terms, I ask for none"

Basically, always do your best in being a man, stick to your principles, and force their hand. If they fvck up in process, you know it wouldn't be worth it anyway.

 

[Egoist]

no opinions?

 

[Warlord]

I think what you're doing is good. A lot of girls play the "little helpless princess" and there are plenty of "nice knights" willing to dash to them and help them out. Just think of it this way, you're not a counselour is paid per hour to listen to someone's problem or offer them medical advice. I'll talk about it just like what I'm doing, but I'm not going to go through too much energy to decipher what's going on. However, you should know the rules change a little where you should show more care once you and her cohabit/marry/engage.

 

[Egoist]

Originally posted by Warlord
However, you should know the rules change a little where you should show more care once you and her cohabit/marry/engage.

yup

 

[treefingers]

I don't get it egoist. You're saying you wont give up your principles. So your principles include not helping a girl who needs help? I'm confused...... there is a difference between being a slave to someone and helping someone who deserves it. Maybe I'm missing something.....

 

[Egoist]

Originally posted by treefingers
I don't get it egoist. You're saying you wont give up your principles. So your principles include not helping a girl who needs help? I'm confused...... there is a difference between being a slave to someone and helping someone who deserves it. Maybe I'm missing something.....

its a little more complicated..

its a chick who is in a bad relationship, who is (as far as i can tell) very interested in me, etc.

She is in a situation where its very hard for her to get out of the mess she's kinda of made herself in terms of her relationship and other things. She is pretty much all alone without people who she can trust and who can support her.

now, she is responsible for her own actions and the situation she put herself into. Like I said, i can turn up the heat and basically swoop in for the kill, give her exactly what she needs, show her what its like to be with a real man, etc. But then i can't help it but feel like I am going to be just another branch for this monkey.

But because of my principles I choose to wait out and see what she does herself. Maybe I'm wrong.

P.S. She is actually the type of a girl that never complains or whines. She never tells me about boyfriend problems and doesnt expect me to be her therapist. When we communicate, its all about us, life, etc.. She is kind of in my reality. The only reason I know about all her trouble is through some trusted and very confidential inside sources.

 

[theSpeculator]

You're an idiot. Everyone need help sometime. No matter how emotionally or physically strong they are. Man or woman. Being friends is about helping each other out in those bad times. Compassion is what makes you human. Again you're an idiot.

 

[Chillisauce]

Originally posted by theSpeculator
You're an idiot. Everyone need help sometime. No matter how emotionally or physically strong they are. Man or woman. Being friends is about helping each other out in those bad times. Compassion is what makes you human. Again you're an idiot.

Where does egoist say he's her friend? If he acts like a 'friend' she'll use him as an emotional tampon instead of seeing him as a possible lover. Idiot.

 

[Egoist]

Originally posted by Chillisauce
Where does egoist say he's her friend? If he acts like a 'friend' she'll use him as an emotional tampon instead of seeing him as a possible lover. Idiot.

yup.

she is going out of her way to not appear miserable or depressed in front of me. She is a relatively smart girl, so i think she knows better than to use me as a therapist.

this is going to be interesting regardless.

 

[Egoist]

Originally posted by theSpeculator
You're an idiot. Everyone need help sometime. No matter how emotionally or physically strong they are. Man or woman. Being friends is about helping each other out in those bad times. Compassion is what makes you human. Again you're an idiot.

I am not her friend, nor am i interested in being her friend.

Either i get her, or i don't. There is really no middle ground or that friend bull****.

Only a total idiot would be friends with a girl he wants to sleep with.

 

[theSpeculator]

Originally posted by Egoist
I am not her friend, nor am i interested in being her friend.

Either i get her, or i don't. There is really no middle ground or that friend bull****.

Then you're pretty low. When I'm using friend in this context, I mean a person you know and care about. Did you not say you cared about her? I did not mean friend as in the buddy buddy type you hangout with. I think most people here don't understand that if you're a sexy, self-confidence DJ you can be friends with a girl you like. It is only when you start acting AFCish that you get put in the friendzone. 'nuff said.

 

[DJnoob]

..

 

[frivolousz21]

Egoist-


had or has a terrible case of one-i-tis...

im not sure if he still has it...you can do a search for his previous posts..this is why he is posting about this.

 

[Egoist]

Originally posted by theSpeculator
Then you're pretty low. When I'm using friend in this context, I mean a person you know and care about. Did you not say you cared about her? I did not mean friend as in the buddy buddy type you hangout with. I think most people here don't understand that if you're a sexy, self-confidence DJ you can be friends with a girl you like. It is only when you start acting AFCish that you get put in the friendzone. 'nuff said.

lets put it this way, an interested woman will not put you in the friendzone to begin with.

BUT

I don't know, she hasn't really shown me the signs that she needs my help. Her situation is complicated either way. I do draw a line at certain things. If i see her cry or go totally miserable when I am there, I might take action. Otherwise, my presence itself will be enough to make her happy.

 

[frivolousz21]

I think most people here don't understand that if you're a sexy, self-confidence DJ you can be friends with a girl you like. It is only when you start acting AFCish that you get put in the friendzone. 'nuff said.

thats because they have never been that confident guy-

they dont realize that when you are confident....you can say or do what you want.

they dont realize this..and I dont think they will until they come full circle.

what they think a man is..and what really a man is, is 2 diff things.

and men are very compassionate..infact in a lot of cases..men are more compassionate then women....

but they confuse emotional with passion.

 

[Egoist]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
Egoist-


had or has a terrible case of one-i-tis...

im not sure if he still has it...you can do a search for his previous posts..this is why he is posting about this.

you are right and wrong in the same time.

I don't know what it is. I've slept with several women since i met this girl, but it didn't help much.

To be honest with you, the fact that i actually like her is why i let it go slow with her. If it happens its fine, if it doesn't and she turns out to be a stupid cvnt, so be it. Am I not handling it the right way, regardless of my feelings on the matter?

Hows the baby coming along?

Oh and you should read the book called "The Way of a Superior Male" by David Deida - you'll like it.

 

[Egoist]

P.S. I'm reading a lot of mumbling in here, but is there like real concrete input on options? They way i see it:

-Sit back and let things happen like i've been doing.

-Accelerate and become proactive (not in the AFC way of course)

 

[frivolousz21]

the baby is great thanks for asking.





as for the one it is...look, I had TERRIBLE ONE I TIS..for nearly a freaking yr..and when I got to SS.com back in late 2004..I wanted to break the womens face for it when I realize what it was...I felt like a used loser...I was a loser..even my best friend ripped me on it.


before the one i tis..I was prolly like you..I dated alot of women...I had a fairytale idea of love..

after the one i tis....I realized it was best to move on....it was easy once that choice was made.

for a YR I thought she was perfect, incredible...but mostly..she wasnt in love with me...so it didnt matter...

it didnt matter that she called me FIVE times a day..it didnt matter that she let me pound her, it didnt matter that she would tell everyone how im such a Great guy.


because I loved her and I NEVER got that back.


anyways...now I love someone else..who loves me back equally and its amazing.


you seem like a good guy...dont let the negativity with this change what makes you great.

you know better then to wait it out with a girl after she had a 2 yr live in bf..its a recipe for disaster.

if I were you..id let it go...which means u have to cut her off..she will be fine without you..and you will be fine being emtionally free

 

[theSpeculator]

Originally posted by Egoist
If i see her cry or go totally miserable when I am there, I might take action. Otherwise, my presence itself will be enough to make her happy.

This sound more reasonable. Sorry for snapping at you earlier. You sounded very insensitive in your first post.

As for what you should do. I don't know. I don't know your situation too well. I say use your best judgement on what to do.

 

[comic_relief]

Originally posted by Egoist
you are right and wrong in the same time.

I don't know what it is. I've slept with several women since i met this girl, but it didn't help much.

To be honest with you, the fact that i actually like her is why i let it go slow with her. If it happens its fine, if it doesn't and she turns out to be a stupid cvnt, so be it. Am I not handling it the right way, regardless of my feelings on the matter?

You cannot break oneitis with sleeping with more then one woman. You need to change your mindset. Oneitis comes from desparation.

Go to the root of the problem on why you think that she is a goddess and work forward from there. You are here now and find out what you want in other women. You just have to find a better woman and I know that they are out there. Trust me they are.

Good luck and god speed.

comic_relief