Schadenfreudianslip
Don Juan
Imagine this situation:
You've found a girl who like video games, sports, and action movies. She's more interested in silicon chipsets than diamonds. She'd never drag you along to the mall unless it was to EB Games. She doesn't mind that you read Playboy magazines.
Would you describe her as "Too cool to be a girl?" Would you just totally kick back, relax, and totally be yourself, as she's not like other girls? Would you fart in front of her because she's just so cool and low maintenance? Would you skip over foreplay for the most part, as she likes farking like a guy? Would you brag to your friends about how low maintenance she is compared to their drama llama girlfriends?
If you answered yes to any one of the above, please reconsider.
The Swiss Psychiatrist Carl Jung developed the theory of the anima/animus, which is basically the characteristics of the opposite sex that one has. Since I have many traditionally male interests such as computers and gaming, I would be seen as having a strong animus. However, this does not mean that I like being treated like a guy. In fact, I have realized that in many of my past relationships, I was basically treated like a guy with a vagina. I'm not sure if I'd consider their attraction to me to be latent homosexuality, but they definitely didn't know how to deal with women and some didn't even seem to be interested in anything remotely feminine (One jerk even said in a disappointed tone, "Oh, maybe you are like other girls" when he found out that I didn't like World of Warcraft). 70% of the time, I'm fine with just gaming and other stuff that's not stereotypically feminine. However, I still need to be treated as a female. I need the occasional shoulder to cry on, I need foreplay, I need to be comforted rather than just be told to "man up," and I need to be acknowledged and respected as a female. Unfortunately, too many men think that I am zero maintenance and that they don't have to many any efforts because I'm just so cool. Wrong. I'm not high maintenance by any means (which I never tell a guy because too many guys will assume that they don't have to use the Don Juan skills), but no good relationship is going to be zero maintenance. A man who expects zero maintenance can get a house plant instead of a significant other, and he should just turn gay if he wants a woman with few or no feminine qualities.
Imagine that you were considered "too cool to be a guy." In order to attain this status, you'd be treated as an emotional tampon, you'd have to be a squishy romantic 24 hours a day, you'd have to go shopping, you'd have to give up Monday Night Football and guy friends, there would be more cuddling than sex (and never the rough kind of sex, all lovemaking in rose petals), and have other men snicker at you and call you gay. Yeah, you might be considered "the perfect guy" but you'd be totally compromising yourself and your manhood. You'd also be seen as a woman in a man's body. I feel the same.
In short, even if she insists that she's "one of the guys," treat her at least somewhat like a woman and don't skimp on the Don Juan tactics. Don't automatically start idealizing her. Most women don't know what it really means to be treated as one of the guys. Most importantly of all, don't develop idealisms of women in general. Don't make the mistake of totally blowing your chances with a hot chick with many similar interests because you assumed that she's be like one of your guy friends.
You've found a girl who like video games, sports, and action movies. She's more interested in silicon chipsets than diamonds. She'd never drag you along to the mall unless it was to EB Games. She doesn't mind that you read Playboy magazines.
Would you describe her as "Too cool to be a girl?" Would you just totally kick back, relax, and totally be yourself, as she's not like other girls? Would you fart in front of her because she's just so cool and low maintenance? Would you skip over foreplay for the most part, as she likes farking like a guy? Would you brag to your friends about how low maintenance she is compared to their drama llama girlfriends?
If you answered yes to any one of the above, please reconsider.
The Swiss Psychiatrist Carl Jung developed the theory of the anima/animus, which is basically the characteristics of the opposite sex that one has. Since I have many traditionally male interests such as computers and gaming, I would be seen as having a strong animus. However, this does not mean that I like being treated like a guy. In fact, I have realized that in many of my past relationships, I was basically treated like a guy with a vagina. I'm not sure if I'd consider their attraction to me to be latent homosexuality, but they definitely didn't know how to deal with women and some didn't even seem to be interested in anything remotely feminine (One jerk even said in a disappointed tone, "Oh, maybe you are like other girls" when he found out that I didn't like World of Warcraft). 70% of the time, I'm fine with just gaming and other stuff that's not stereotypically feminine. However, I still need to be treated as a female. I need the occasional shoulder to cry on, I need foreplay, I need to be comforted rather than just be told to "man up," and I need to be acknowledged and respected as a female. Unfortunately, too many men think that I am zero maintenance and that they don't have to many any efforts because I'm just so cool. Wrong. I'm not high maintenance by any means (which I never tell a guy because too many guys will assume that they don't have to use the Don Juan skills), but no good relationship is going to be zero maintenance. A man who expects zero maintenance can get a house plant instead of a significant other, and he should just turn gay if he wants a woman with few or no feminine qualities.
Imagine that you were considered "too cool to be a guy." In order to attain this status, you'd be treated as an emotional tampon, you'd have to be a squishy romantic 24 hours a day, you'd have to go shopping, you'd have to give up Monday Night Football and guy friends, there would be more cuddling than sex (and never the rough kind of sex, all lovemaking in rose petals), and have other men snicker at you and call you gay. Yeah, you might be considered "the perfect guy" but you'd be totally compromising yourself and your manhood. You'd also be seen as a woman in a man's body. I feel the same.
In short, even if she insists that she's "one of the guys," treat her at least somewhat like a woman and don't skimp on the Don Juan tactics. Don't automatically start idealizing her. Most women don't know what it really means to be treated as one of the guys. Most importantly of all, don't develop idealisms of women in general. Don't make the mistake of totally blowing your chances with a hot chick with many similar interests because you assumed that she's be like one of your guy friends.