Don't ever become this guy.

[Latinoman]

...........

 

[Latinoman]

A big sticking point we have around here is too many people mistaking pragmatism for pessimism.

Maybe the sticking point is too many people mistaking "lacking powers of understanding" for "deep thinking".

 

[Latinoman]

Double Post.

 

[Latinoman]

My Message

The following quotes summarize my message in this thread.


Post #70

Post by Latinoman

I don’t think we have enough information to reach any level of conclusion here.

In fact, we could argue the opposite of what you posted. For example:

1-Maybe they work for him. Maybe he owns a place of business in the inner city and they were picking cleaning materials so the women could proceed and do their job. Maybe he owns a cleaning company and those ladies work for him. That’s a possibility.

2-Maybe they are related. He could be their step father or grandfather or even father. I have cousins that are literally black skinned and I have siblings with blue eyes too.

3-Maybe they look and dress ghetto…but they are not ghetto. I used to live in an upper middle class neighborhood prior to my divorce. Some of the black kids there dressed “ghetto”. But their parents owned Mercedez and $450K homes and wore suits to work. Appearances could be deceiving.

Was the guy an AFC? Maybe. Maybe not. I guess the point I am trying to make is that we don’t have enough information to reach any conclusions.

Post #79

Post by Latinoman

Regardless of the topic of this thread or if the guy was an AFC or a good Samaritan or family…that’s not important.

The message here should be:

Do NOT reach “conclusions” without gathering enough information. Reaching a “conclusion” about a person’s character based on a cursory 10-minute look (without even listening to him talk or without talking to him) is always mistake.

Why?
Because underestimating people can become a habit. And trust me…you don’t want to become a habit.

Post #96

Post by Latinoman

Thanks.

I have learned from my mistakes early in life when I underestimated others. And others have learned from their mistakes by underestimating ME based on how I look or talk or even dress.

For those that said they study "psychology" as a hobby...all I can say is that they are doing a very poor job. In fact, STR8UP being from Florida should know that what made Ted Bundy so succesful when he killed women accross the Nation was his ability to get others to either underestimate him (he wore a cast on his arm to look like he was handicapped to lure his victims) or reached the wrong conclusions based on his looks.

As I said...NEVER underestimate no man. If in a situation of potential danger (walking in a dark alley), always assume the worst (any man is capable of danger). If you see a man in Walmart buying cleaning gear with some ghetto women, do NOT assume he is AFC (unless you have collected more information) as you will be underestimating him.

Post #97

Post by Latinoman

Other than that...I want to make clear I am not attacking Keto or anyone that agrees with him. I am simply providing the possibility that he is probably assuming incorrectly. That's all.

 

[STR8UP]

Maybe the sticking point is too many people mistaking "lacking powers of understanding" for "deep thinking".

Funny how the same thing could be said for the "not so deep" thinkers.

As far as I'm concerned there are a few very intelligent people around here who continue to try to separate everything into black and white when in reality the world is full of 64,135,924 different shades of grey. Ok, I made up the 64 million thing but you get the point.

That's what I call "lacking powers of understanding".

 

[guru1000]

A big sticking point we have around here is too many people mistaking pragmatism for pessimism.

Big mistake as well is mistaking pessimism for pragmatism.

Funny how the same thing could be said for the "not so deep" thinkers.

As far as I'm concerned there are a few very intelligent people around here who continue to try to separate everything into black and white when in reality the world is full of 64,135,924 different shades of grey. Ok, I made up the 64 million thing but you get the point.

That's what I call "lacking powers of understanding".

Last I checked I you are either guilty or not guilty. This is why people serve life sentences and defense attornies try to paint the picture of the greyer areas. Of course you have a right for a full reversal in an appeal.

But if as a society, we used SHADES of GREY to define a point, then we will never have a clear LAW OF CONDUCT. Any perception can be argued to create grey areas. This is where MANIPULATION of a said law exists. IT it the grey areas where people play to create a STRAW DEFENSE. There is no MERIT in this other than the "get out of jail free card".

This is the THINKING of the finger pointers of society. The RATS or SNITCHES as we call them. They lack INTEGRITY and use JUSTIFICATION for their COWARDICE. They never will accept responsibility because of course this is the DOG eats DOG world. Their explanations will always RELY on the shades of GREY you live by.

LOL. You truly are a funny guy.

The day you meet a girl who is SORT OF PREGNANT, than we can agree.

 

[Latinoman]

Funny how the same thing could be said for the "not so deep" thinkers.

As far as I'm concerned there are a few very intelligent people around here who continue to try to separate everything into black and white when in reality the world is full of 64,135,924 different shades of grey. Ok, I made up the 64 million thing but you get the point.

That's what I call "lacking powers of understanding".

My friend...many times men waste their best years trying to find a shade of gray on things that are clearly black and white. And many times...the things that matter...are indeed black and white. Not always...but many times.


You are either cheating or you are not.

You are either a thief or you are not.

You are either a man or you are not.

You either have self-respect or you lack it.

You either have integrity or you don't.

You are either a good parent or you are not.

You are either white or you are not.

You are either black or you are not.

You either believe in God or you don't.



Don't get me wrong...there are shades of gray out there in many other issues. But my experience is that those shades of gray are there to serve (wrong or right) as a way to justify certain shoddy behavior.

 

[DavenJuan]

My friend...many times men waste their best years trying to find a shade of gray on things that are clearly black and white. And many times...the things that matter...are indeed black and white. Not always...but many times.


You are either cheating or you are not.

You are either a thief or you are not.

You are either a man or you are not.

You either have self-respect or you lack it.

You either have integrity or you don't.

You are either a good parent or you are not.

You are either white or you are not.

You are either black or you are not.

You either believe in God or you don't.



Don't get me wrong...there are shades of gray out there in many other issues. But my experience is that those shades of gray are there to serve (wrong or right) as a way to justify certain shoddy behavior.

the LAWS OF CONDUCT still include these grey areas. thats why there are people who are set free and also why people are sent to jail wrongfully accused. this is because are LAWS OF CONDUCT when looking simply black and white do not suffice.

you have to look at the grey area.

look at it like this....

you spend allll day clean your pad because your having your family over for dinner. it looks immaculant. you see your face in every metal in the house and the floor are squeeky clean.

your famliy arrives and your brother, sister and father say "hey, what i nice job youve done cleaning!" ... then your mom walks in and says... " this place could use some straigtening up, i dont think this place is as clean as it could be"

my point is EVERYTHING is based on opinion, and YES, there are LAWS OF CONDUCT, but that ALSO is based and created on opinion on whats right or wrong.

and though the LAW tells us whats right vs wrong, there still is a gray area between the two. and to argue the poin of LAWS OF CONDUCT, there would be NO NEED for lawyers and prosecutors if it was as simple as black and white

 

[guru1000]

the LAWS OF CONDUCT still include these grey areas. thats why there are people who are set free and also why people are sent to jail wrongfully accused. this is because are LAWS OF CONDUCT when looking simply black and white do not suffice.

you have to look at the grey area.

look at it like this....

you spend allll day clean your pad because your having your family over for dinner. it looks immaculant. you see your face in every metal in the house and the floor are squeeky clean.

your famliy arrives and your brother, sister and father say "hey, what i nice job youve done cleaning!" ... then your mom walks in and says... " this place could use some straigtening up, i dont think this place is as clean as it could be"

my point is EVERYTHING is based on opinion, and YES, there are LAWS OF CONDUCT, but that ALSO is based and created on opinion on whats right or wrong.

and though the LAW tells us whats right vs wrong, there still is a gray area between the two. and to argue the poin of LAWS OF CONDUCT, there would be NO NEED for lawyers and prosecutors if it was as simple as black and white

Point was argued a a billionth time to setting up the judicial courts as much as several thousand years ago.

Does not change the fact that one is either guilty or not. Tell that to the guy serving 2 life sentences in the PENN that his crime was in the grey area.

Lawyers and Prosecutors work day in and out to prove if the said ACT was done with these factors:

1) Breaking the law
2) KNOWINGLY AND WILLINGLY

Most grey area crimes are done without knowing and willing. And to those who commit that, most judicial systems have thrown in the CONSPIRACY laws to incorporate the NAIVE.

You are speaking to a guy who had been through this GREY AREA conspiracy and served time. Not much you could really tell me when my one million dollar retainer attorney took this argument from federal, to the appealing district court and then to the supreme.

Either way, the GREY AREA argument is created for JUSTIFICATION for those who already KNOW. So this is a frivolous discussion.

 

[ketostix]

Are you telling me that you have the same "sound" judgement of a Walmart cashier?

So it's ok for you to make assumptions about a Walmart cashier who you never met, and in the next sentence you're going to tell me I can't make assumption about a situation that I actually observed? Hmm, interesting contradiction.

Listen, the point I am trying to make is that your reached a conclusion based on 5-minutes cursory look at three people. You didn't listen to their conversations...you did not see any intimacy between thems. You just saw a white well dressed middle age man paying for two carts of things such as cleaning equiment and materials and two "ghetto" women with him. And he loading the material in his Saudi.

How many times are you and others like you going to make this point that I've addressed more than once while you contradict yourselves by doing the same thing you preach against. The man wasn't middle aged, he was elderly. They weren't buying cleaning materials they were buying various stuff. I saw enough conversation and how they were behaving to get a sense for what the situation was. There was going to be intimacy between them, that was my point. They were all loading the stuff in the same car, and it was a Saab not a Saudi. The point is, my conclusion is the most likely conclusion. People on here make conclusion all the time with less information. A person's words and conversation doesn't always tell you the real story anyway.

The point is your real point is to antagonistic and argumentative.

My point is that THAT is not enough information (in this particular case) to reach that particular conclusion. In fact, my assumption wold have been different...and just that...and assumption.
See the difference?

Assumption vs. Conclusion

All you can do is ASSUME. And still...there is not enough information to come with solid assumptions.

But you are not even assuming...you are actually CONCLUDING!

Dude an assumption is a type of conclusion. I think what you mean is there's assumptions and there's facts. The point is I never said I knew for a fact. What I'm saying is the probability of this situation being anything else based on the information I have is so slim to be unlikely. Anyway, you are claiming you would not make a conclusion from assumptions but only facts and I don't believe you because I've seen you and everyone else here do it.

 

[ketostix]

the LAWS OF CONDUCT still include these grey areas. thats why there are people who are set free and also why people are sent to jail wrongfully accused. this is because are LAWS OF CONDUCT when looking simply black and white do not suffice.

you have to look at the grey area.

look at it like this....

you spend allll day clean your pad because your having your family over for dinner. it looks immaculant. you see your face in every metal in the house and the floor are squeeky clean.

your famliy arrives and your brother, sister and father say "hey, what i nice job youve done cleaning!" ... then your mom walks in and says... " this place could use some straigtening up, i dont think this place is as clean as it could be"

my point is EVERYTHING is based on opinion, and YES, there are LAWS OF CONDUCT, but that ALSO is based and created on opinion on whats right or wrong.

and though the LAW tells us whats right vs wrong, there still is a gray area between the two. and to argue the poin of LAWS OF CONDUCT, there would be NO NEED for lawyers and prosecutors if it was as simple as black and white

Exactly. Say you fvcked a girl and the law has your semen sample. It's admitted fact you fvcked her. Where the gray areas come in is the question did you rape her, or was it consensual. Same thing with a woman who's in a relationship or married you have a ONS with. You fvcked her and she cheated on her BF/husband. But to say you did something more wrong than ONS with a single woman is more of a gray area. Maybe her BF/husband is a cheating, prick to her? Now contrast that with ONS with a single girl and you know she has a great guy who is in "love" with her. While she may not have a true commitment to any of those guys, who have I hurt more? Why should I be concerned about hurting a title of BF or marriage? That's the gray area.

 

[STR8UP]

Exactly. Say you fvcked a girl and the law has your semen sample. It's admitted fact you fvcked her. Where the gray areas come in is the question did you rape her, or was it consensual. Same thing with a woman who's in a relationship or married you have a ONS with. You fvcked her and she cheated on her BF/husband. But to say you did something more wrong than ONS with a single woman is more of a gray area. Maybe her BF/husband is a cheating, prick to her? Now contrast that with ONS with a single girl and you know she has a great guy who is in "love" with her. While she may not have a true commitment to any of those guys, who have I hurt more? Why should I be concerned about hurting a title of BF or marriage? That's the gray area.

Yea, we're not talking about laws or biology, so "kinda pregnant" or "guilty or not guilty" is irrelavent.

I'm sitting here shaking my head because I KNOW that despite people thinking they have it all figured out and that the lines are always crystal clear, it's never that simple.

Guys who say "I draw the line at having sexual relations with a married woman", let me ask you this. If so called "single" women are fair game, what if she is single, but in a committed relationship that you are perfectly aware of? What if she is "dating" someone, but they haven't made it "official"? What if that someone is a good friend of yours? What if you don't know him at all, but from your conversations with her you know that he thinks "more" of their relationship than she does?

This is where everything is going over your heads. Keto proposed the idea that with interpersonal relationships there is a HUGE grey area that women sometimes exploit and men often ignore that has to do with the fact that desirable women are very rarely 100% single or married and committed. It's a pretty easy concept to grasp, but when you try so hard to think in absolute terms I suppose it might not be so easy to see.

You want to be able to say you would do this or that in any given situation, but there very well may come a day when you have to make a judgement call and the rules of proper conduct might not be so clear.

 

[frivolousz21]

It's sad but something tells me you are the kind of guy that's gonna have to get screwed over half a dozen times before you open your eyes, cause if I remember correctly you were posting about roses and sunshine LAST time you were around.

and it didnt work because I lost interest, the last few months with her I had to come home and smash a 6-pack to just stand seeing her.

I only stayed for my son....I am grateful she left..I may have missed her for 3 days before I was extremely happy I could watch a hockey game without listening to her whining every freaking day.....damn I made a terrible choice to date her..that was miserable.

 

[insidious]

What the hell man, 11 pages, I haven't the patience to read them all, so I will toss in my comment a little blindly....
But so much of this could have been avoided if Keto would learn the fine art of narrative. The OP sucked and I would not have read further if not for the endless responses to some piss-ass sorry writing. My 10-yr-old son could write a more compelling story of people he meets playing Xbox :crazy:
I know the onus is not on us to be Herman Melville, but for chrissakes man, surely you can be more descriptive if you're going to start casting aspersions about people you see in public who you don't know.

 

[STR8UP]

I only stayed for my son....I am grateful she left..I may have missed her for 3 days before I was extremely happy I could watch a hockey game without listening to her whining every freaking day.....damn I made a terrible choice to date her..that was miserable.

Are you sure it was 100% your fault?

I'm all about owning up to mistakes, and I wouldn't go around blaming other people for my relationship failings, but the simple fact is that people are pretty good at putting on a good front early on in a relationship, just to morph into a different person later on.

Now, I am a firm believer that people tell you pretty much everything you need to know about them early on, albeit covertly. As you get older it becomes easier to "read between the lines", but it doesn't matter how wise you are, when you are dealing with a woman you THINK is pretty freakin awesome, it's easy to miss a lot of the bad stuff.

 

[ketostix]

What the hell man, 11 pages, I haven't the patience to read them all, so I will toss in my comment a little blindly....
But so much of this could have been avoided if Keto would learn the fine art of narrative. The OP sucked and I would not have read further if not for the endless responses to some piss-ass sorry writing. My 10-yr-old son could write a more compelling story of people he meets playing Xbox :crazy:
I know the onus is not on us to be Herman Melville, but for chrissakes man, surely you can be more descriptive if you're going to start casting aspersions about people you see in public who you don't know.

Sometimes you just got to shake your head at some people's moronic opinions.

 

[Latinoman]

So it's ok for you to make assumptions about a Walmart cashier who you never met, and in the next sentence you're going to tell me I can't make assumption about a situation that I actually observed? Hmm, interesting contradiction.

I asked you a "yes" or "no" question. I did not degrade the Walmart employee. I simply asked if you have the same sound judgment of a Walmart cashier.

How many times are you and others like you going to make this point that I've addressed more than once while you contradict yourselves by doing the same thing you preach against. The man wasn't middle aged, he was elderly. They weren't buying cleaning materials they were buying various stuff. I saw enough conversation and how they were behaving to get a sense for what the situation was. There was going to be intimacy between them, that was my point. They were all loading the stuff in the same car, and it was a Saab not a Saudi. The point is, my conclusion is the most likely conclusion. People on here make conclusion all the time with less information. A person's words and conversation doesn't always tell you the real story anyway.

I don't believe you. Sorry...but I truly don't.

The point is your real point is to antagonistic and argumentative.

I am helping you based on a lifetime of experience and you are calling argumentative? Dude...I took a homeless heroin addict to McDonald once and bought him food (rather buy food than give him the $$$)...people looked at me weird. They probably "assumed" I was also a drug addict as I was in very casual clothes.

Dude an assumption is a type of conclusion.

Okay...now you are going to debate with a trained engineer about the difference between assumptions and conclusions.

 

[Latinoman]

"Gray areas" are there for JUSTIFICATION purposes.

 

[frivolousz21]

Are you sure it was 100% your fault?

I'm all about owning up to mistakes, and I wouldn't go around blaming other people for my relationship failings, but the simple fact is that people are pretty good at putting on a good front early on in a relationship, just to morph into a different person later on.

Now, I am a firm believer that people tell you pretty much everything you need to know about them early on, albeit covertly. As you get older it becomes easier to "read between the lines", but it doesn't matter how wise you are, when you are dealing with a woman you THINK is pretty freakin awesome, it's easy to miss a lot of the bad stuff.

not only did I put on a good front...I basically lived a double life with her.

1 day I would be with my friends...remember I was 22..drinking, playing video games, getting high, living that life.

with her I would go to church, watch movies with her, go to parks and just sit with her.

it was fine as long as I got to be my Hoosier side.

when we had the child and lived together...the Hoosier part of me was repressed and I became miserable....I changed and knew I wasn't right for her..the last year of the relationship was me doing anything to get by so I could live with my son.

that experience taught me to be what I want...who I am and no longer give one ounce of shyt about what anyone thinks...it was an eye opener for me.

my game, confidence, and life have never been this good before.

 

[ketostix]

I asked you a "yes" or "no" question. I did not degrade the Walmart employee. I simply asked if you have the same sound judgment of a Walmart cashier.

You are making an assumption about the judgement of a Walmart cashier. Deny it all you want.

I don't believe you. Sorry...but I truly don't.

See this is a perfect example of being antagonistic and argumentative.

I am helping you based on a lifetime of experience and you are calling argumentative? Dude...I took a homeless heroin addict to McDonald once and bought him food (rather buy food than give him the $$$)...people looked at me weird. They probably "assumed" I was also a drug addict as I was in very casual clothes.

You are comparing two different scenarios. You are not an old man, with 2 younger girls out at 1 am paying for a shopping spree. If I saw a man buying a homeless man food at McDonald's during the day I would assume the first guy was trying to do a resonable good samaritan act.

Okay...now you are going to debate with a trained engineer about the difference between assumptions and conclusions.

We're not debating an engineering topic. The point is there's conclusions based on assumptions and there's conclusions based on facts. Everyone makes conclusions drawn from assumptions and that doesn't make the conclusion necessarily wrong. Besides any guy that takes adult women on a shopping spree is an AFC IMO.