Don't Enable.

[A-Unit]

Why do men, boys, guys, AFCS, pimps, symps, and macks come here?


To read thousands of pages of mostly useless drivel? [Mine included].


To hang on shoulders, which is no different than what we would do in the real world?


To find guys who are in similiar circumstances and improve?


To get results!!!


Don't Enable!


Some might say, "well, each person has their own needs, desires, and wants, and must improve at their own pace."


Duely noted.


However...I've been 'there'. Every guy has been there once. One suggestion I will add...


Keep a Microsoft word journal. If you feel a post where you're upset requires response, after a few days, cute, paste, and post it. But at your first gut reaction, DON'T post on the boards. This isn't to say what you feel isn't important, BUT...I'm trying to get 2 things across...


1. It does not behoove your progress to mentally and emotionally dump on these boards. A critical lesson is learned by patiently and logically thinking a situation out. If you come right here after a date, whether good or bad, your thoughts are muddled with emotions and you will lose the lesson.


2. Particularly negative posts, create an atmosphere of negativity, leading some to believe people are overly sympish, AND, you're overreacting in most cases. You're a prisoner of the mental mind. Your emotions swing in whatever balance your brains feels like feeding you and you'll never graduate out of it.


_________________________


Enabling allows those 'dependent' on certain things to continue their ways.


How many guys say...


"I've reverted to my AFC ways."

"I can't break the cycle."

"This is what an AFC does."


An AFC in a nutshell is a guy trapped by his bad beliefs in a mental prison, and every now and then succumbs to his 'thoughts' as if they're real. THAT'S the problem with intellectuals...they feel b/c they're right about textbook shyt, that they're right about ALL else in life. One can NEVER EVER be right about emotions, opinions and beliefs, because they're not based on ANYTHING real, THEREFORE, they can never be proven factually or otherwise.


_________________________


The newest disease of our generation is "enabling". Parents have given, to most, and we've been fortunate to receive, some of the best times in human existence. Cell phones, computers, XBOX, TIVO, BMW's @ 18, or 17, LV's, Oaks, things our parents and grandparents NEVER had, or had later on in life. Now, that's all well and good...and I'm not saying 'don't indulge'...but a disease of a LACK of SELF RELIANCE has crept into the GENERATION Y system and must be pulled out.


NOT hearing the hard truth is WHAT keeps you trapped. Many want it slow and soft, not straight and hard, they want answers, not THINKING PROCESSES. See...as an example...


A pair of parents can give $10,000,000, and you might THINK you're set for life, but odds are, your not wealth minded, so you'd blow it.

On the other hand, you can make $10,000,000 blow it, and make another 10 mil. Unless it was pure luck you did, you know how you did it, and can do it again.


The difference here?


The person.


It's no different on SoSuave, or any site. I say this because I see the 'infection.' You don't cure the symptons, you go right for the SOURCE, and kill it. Sure, you might be online, and part of a community of supposed dj's and sosuavers, but just being part of it, and having high posts, doesn't make one effective. Coming here is great...or anywhere for that matter.


But on both sides of the ball, stop enabling newbies to continue their ways, and stop enabling yourself to continue unadulterated in your own ways.


________________________


This isn't to say 'don't help,' but help 'in the right way.' Immediate success takes immediate change in thinking and action. Yes at times when you slow down the transition, you get weak, don't care, fine, don't go out that night. Or if you do, who cares if you don't meet a chick or do, at least go IF YOU WANT TO GO.


See help is a few things. What alot of guys do here is, instead of HELPING the bum learn to earn, you GIVE him the money, enabling his poverty stricken habits. Many members come on, ask for s/t advice to get this ONE CHICK, which is akin to BEGGING for money, and then leave, or repeat post. Or they post on how a date went, still, more oneitis. Or tidbits about what women want, think or do, more oneitis. Stop giving the money to the bums, so to speak, and start giving them direction.


You can't motivate everyone, and until they realize the problem ISN'T out there, it's INSIDE them, they'll continue to believe there's 1 stop shopping dating advice. Dating skills are like army tactical skills. You learn, train, practice, acquire, never knowing precisely which one you will use, and when you do, it's only for a brief moment that you do use it. Only until you're trained, reserved, and patient will you get it. A guy who tries to learn it all like a happy horny dog ready to hump your leg will gain alot of knowledge, but for what purpose?


Alot of times I'll reference books, courses, posts, and the like, because these guys are paid authors who can atriculate much better than I, and sometimes you do need to go at your own pace, IN YOUR OWN PLACE. There's no pressure here. It's said that...



"Time will end when time no longer factiliates the use of learning."




A-Unit

 

[Kerensky]

Stop putting so much spaces between your lines and stop typing like 1 sentence paragraphs just to make your post seem longer. I know the general mentality here is that long posts a la Pook are automatically good, but seriously, you post tips to share your knowledge with others. They take it and benefit or leave it and rot. Don't post to impress man. Your Life post was gold, but lay off the enter key mate.

 

[DeathDealer]

"Always be Enthusiastic and Optimistic despite the current circumstances!" - George Bush.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

Spacing is done for people to absorb info and read key points. I get what you're saying, because you've written in 1 giant paragraph. I wrote that way when I got here, but frankly speaking, a post that's globbed together, regardless of length doesn't get the love i deserves. I've yet to get more than 1 complaint over the spacing.


So while it appeared I was try to stoke my EGO, I was in fact aiming for readability, because if you see a paragraph of jumbled words, people are less likely to read and absorb the information. Hence, highlighting and bolding.


Just my .02 cents. If people don't dig it, don't read it. I'd say the content matters more than the composition, but a poorly constructed post won't get read no matter how quality the content is.


____________________________

post tips to share your knowledge with others. They take it and benefit or leave it and rot.

That's precisely what I've done. Nobody forces anybody to click on a post, and even if it's 5 star rated, there are people who won't like or won't use the information. Personally, I was advocating tough love, because soft love gains no results. It's like going to alcoholics anonymous meeting, or a debtors anonymous meeting. Being surrounded by the same community MAKES you feel good about your situation because you see others doing and therefore feel less guilty, but without saying "Wake up, stop the crap, and get real," all you'll do is feel good but not change.


We're here to post information, if it's to be effective, the same philosophy that applies to "Not feeding the Trolls," Applies to "NOT feeding the supps and symps." If you had a druggie, you might ween them off the drug, or in the case of a heroin addict, give them meth to come down, but they NEVER stop being an addict.



A-Unit

 

[Virtú]

You may not like weaning, coddling, or offering sympathy, A-Unit, but remember, you are dealing with pvssies who haven't a chance in Hell any other way.

Improving ourselves and our lives and becoming DJs is, believe it or not, a CHOICE. There is no pressure, no obligation on our part to do any of this.

IMO, because of this, making self-improvement, life-improvement, and DJ-ing easier and more fun is ESSENTIAL to making sure that we actually do it, because we have no other reason to.

Left to its own devices, everything in the Universe, from water to a human being, will follow the path of least resistance. For the DJ, being a DJ is that path; but for the AFC, however, remaining an AFC is the path of least resistance.

The AFC leads a life that, no matter how mediocre or unfulfilling, is easy. In contrast, becoming a DJ is a hard and painful undertaking, something which, to be perfectly frank, does not recommend it. If the AFC were a truly superior man, he would fight to achieve his goals regardless of the cost, but this is not the case.

Challenge, struggle, and victory, these things appeal to strong men, to great men ... but not to weak and mediocre men. To them, ease and comfort are the goals. Strong men and great men seek pleasure; weak men and mediocre men merely avoid pain. Think about it, for the 5000 years of human civilization, all progress has been made in order to make life easier, not harder.

Women who did not find a husband and have children were threatened that "old maids" would "lead apes in Hell"; they were objects of contempt, ostracized and ridiculed. Unfortunately, men who die as impoverished and unfulfilled virgins suffer no such fate, either in life or death.

Add this lack of pressure to the spectre of painful, fearful difficulty that the path to manhood represents to the AFC, and it's easy to see why most make no progress.

I admire your optimism, A-Unit, your belief that man is noble and powerful and will do what he must to reach his goals. However, everything that I have seen and done tells me that such optimism is unrealistic at best and delusional at worst.

You'd think that people would want to go to Heaven and would therefore do everything possible to get in. But here, in the AFC, you're dealing with a perversion of sorts. I think that you are dealing with men that will have to be forced into Heaven kicking and screaming; men who are too weak to take their lives into their own hands.

 

[Double]

there is a difference between "whining" and expecting an answer that shows one to do it better and to motivate to get there

and

to whine and only expect sympathy like yehhh world is cruel, society fvcked up, all girls are b1tches balblabalbalbla. these are the people who just want to whine and ***** and i want them to **** off. but the guys who whine but want to do it better are welcome.