Don't compare yourself to other guys

[djbr]

Yesterday I was with a guy who has a LOT of girls trying to get him. He has a really athletic body and gets a lot of attention from the females. Also, he is a hell good conversationalist.

When you’re on your path to self-improvement, it’s usually common to start comparing yourself to other people. Sometimes I do that. But when I do, I quickly realize something and instantly it all fades…

…why do I care about him or anyone that seems to be getting what I want? This attitude will make me no closer to my own goals!

In fact, it would make me FAR AWAY from them. After all, I do have my own strengths and qualities. If I keep so focused on other people, I neglect all of my strengths and try to compare myself to theirs. No focus on myself here!

When you see a guy who seems to have what you want to, look at him with admiration. Don’t think that you have to be “better” than him or anything. After all, the fact that he’s getting what you want doesn’t prevent you from getting it too! The only person that can avoid you from reaching your highest goals is yourself.

Look at him for inspiration. But as you're looking to reach your own goals, don't envy him!!

 

[dice]

when im hanging out with an alpha male like that, I take advantage of the situation and learn all i can from him by picking his brain every chance i get. I dont really compare because I know the guy is 10 miles ahead of me with girls at this stage in my self improvement, and jealousy is just for morons, so learn what makes the person succesful and internalize it. This goes along with the tony robbins principle of find people thatre succesful and imitate instead of trying to reinvent the wheel.

 

[djbr]

Originally posted by dice
when im hanging out with an alpha male like that, I take advantage of the situation and learn all i can from him by picking his brain every chance i get. I dont really compare because I know the guy is 10 miles ahead of me with girls at this stage in my self improvement, and jealousy is just for morons, so learn what makes the person succesful and internalize it. This goes along with the tony robbins principle of find people thatre succesful and imitate instead of trying to reinvent the wheel.

That's exactly what I'm saying.

Jealousy happens. It's a product of insecurity. The problem is not to feel, the problem is let it go screwing your self-confidence. If you redirect that feeling to something more productive, you'll have better results. A great example of redirecting is the one you just gave to us

Don't forget that even if he is 10 miles away from you, you'll get there. You deserve it! hehe

 

[Visceral]

Comparing yourself to another guy has exactly the same effects as valuing yourself by how many girls you've slept with; when you don't measure up, your ego takes a huge beating and you become too depressed to want to do anything but stop trying.

It's a hard habit to break, though, since it works so well to weed out the weak and inadequate ... it probably evolved as a way for animals to tell when they were outclassed and so avoid potentially deadly fights. Men have always been in competition with each other, and in the last decade, popular culture has conditioned them to be insecure about themselves the way women have always been.

And besides, it's impossible to go through life and not run into guys who are better than you in some way. When it's constantly right in front of you like that, how can you keep it from sinking in?

 

[DJDamage]

"True nobility lies not in being superior to another man, but in being superior to one's previous self. "

 

[djbr]

Originally posted by Visceral
Comparing yourself to another guy has exactly the same effects as valuing yourself by how many girls you've slept with; when you don't measure up, your ego takes a huge beating and you become too depressed to want to do anything but stop trying.

It's a hard habit to break, though, since it works so well to weed out the weak and inadequate ... it probably evolved as a way for animals to tell when they were outclassed and so avoid potentially deadly fights. Men have always been in competition with each other, and in the last decade, popular culture has conditioned them to be insecure about themselves the way women have always been.

And besides, it's impossible to go through life and not run into guys who are better than you in some way. When it's constantly right in front of you like that, how can you keep it from sinking in?

I don't know about others, but I improved the most the moment that I put the focus on myself, on MY improvement. As soon as I started to think about myself and my qualities, my life got better.

Focusing on other's qualities and strengths will get you no closer to your own!

 

[AFK Protector]

I'm happy for you and all, but let me offer a different point of view.

Prom was yesterday and some girl (senior) was going to ask me (junior), but I wasn't in school that day and she ended up asking another guy (junior). So basically I asked my buddy about it and he said "let me tell this to you man. She asked him because he is better looking and more popular."

That hit me hard. Really hard. I started feeling chills up my spine and it spread everywhere. I also felt a lot of anger and hate.

But instead of using that hate to get on the 9 o'clock news, I used it to motivate myself. When lifting, I thought I couldn't lift that extra rep but I did.

Then I did 5 more. I almost dropped the dumbbells on my face, but the pure anger pushed me beyond what I thought I could do.

I was studying, and wanted to play games. I wanted to slack off and go to sleep. But I didn't. I thought about being better than everyone else and b1tchslapped myself a few times until I was wide awake. I am seriously plagued with so much hate right now. I'm not sure if that's a good thing but I am constantly finding flaws in myself and comparing myself with others. I don't stop until I am better than them. Then I move on and find someone else who has or does something better than me and pursue that.

There's my little anecdote about the dark, dark life I lead.

 

[BeLoSH]

The only person that can avoid you from reaching your highest goals is yourself.

quote of the post matey

 

[sony007]

my reply is a lil off the point, but what the heck

nobody deserves more respect than u.

if u are giving respect to a person and not getting it back, screw the bas tard

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

D@mn good thread...

 

[Oxide]

Here is one of the greatest qualities i've ever developed in my life. It alone can help you on so many levels the success is infinite.


Look for the best qualities in every person you meet. Then LEARN from them and get better at those things.

This is NO MATTER who the person is. Here is how it works:

One of my friends is 5"5, but he is really good in turning his "sexual state" on and going for it, hence the girls giggle and say "i want to take you home with me!". I watch and learn, then ask questions in order to become better at turning my sexual state.


Or, you meet a guy.. looks like a total nerd..dresses funny and loves Star Trek. Well, then i notice that a guy is a GENIUS with computers, so i pick up some stuff that helps me get better with computers.



Nobody can offord being ignorant and stuck up when it comes to building networks. The more people you meet the more things you can improve on. Knowledge and skills rub off when you are with a person.. hell 2 years ago my shyest and overweight friend sstarted watching me and the 5"5 guy and picking up stuff.. now hhe has an 8 pack and gets plenty of looks from women.


AFK protector. That mentality of turning anger into something positve should only work for a little bit. You can not fall into the trap of always being angry in order to achieve better results (i see powerlifters do this, they always act angry to push the weight). In order to get those reps up, i sometimes just look at the hottest girl and push, thinking "One more and getting her is even easier"... that isnt the best way either but i certanly think this is better approach than the anger one.