When I get flustered with girls, it is usually in a situation where the girl (cute of course) is giving high interest signs like proximity, laughing at my dumb jokes, moving around a lot, getting close, smiling etc. and I am obviously interested in her—of course I am because I am a horny bastard like everyone else—and I feel that I could definitely "close the deal" right there. However, when I am in a public setting (like at work) it doesn't "feel right" to do that kind of thing, so I tend to shy away and act like a sissy chump. This only serves to make my situation uncomfortable.
How far I have come! Before I used to wonder how to every girl interested in me, now I get nervous when they are! It may sound confusing that it is like that for me (why am I complaining?), but in these situations, there is a large gap between attraction and action. Society likes to call this gap dating. I don't have a desire to date these girls, I just want to sex them up: ) This all comes down, of course, to our old friend Mr. Desperation.
About Desperation
Desperation is not as simple as desperation for sex or desperation for a girlfriend. You can have sex every day with your girlfriend and still turn into a dribbling gob of goo for some other girl that you want to sex, no, some other girl that you would sex if only she gives you the chance. Therefore you are desperate when you have that thought in your mind that you would have sex with the girl (or a relationship), if only she would ask.
Herein lies the crux of the matter: you give her the control and final authority concerning the relationship between the two of you.
Desperation = loss of control = giving women the power. Then, she has already won and has no need to pursue you any further.
Even though this is a turn off for women—as it should be, since desperation makes us uncomfortable and we need to learn how to control it—sometimes even showing desperation does not drive a woman away, provided you are not actively chasing her. This may be worse, because the only thing that happens is that you are just uncomfortable around her, making your life hellish.
Desperation should be a turn off for women, because they need men who have power and control. Woman is designed to test man and see if he has what it takes to endure. The whole nature of woman is designed to trick men into believing that woman is the perfection! (Think AFC days people!) This could not be further from the truth. However, it feels like they have immense value. They are a falsehood that we take to be true. A man must be able to shun the naggings of perfection (and his own feelings of infatuation) and follow his own path through life, not woman's. (A woman's life is one of the most pointless stories ever created once you throw away the sexuality: the makeup, hair, clothes, boyfriends, children, etc.)
Even though the temptation is great, a man must keep all control and never give women any. This does not only apply to what does happen, but what may happen.
For example: you can never even think: "if she asked me right now, of course I would sex her."
Even this is giving up your power to this false perfection.
Lessons from the other Bible
Consider the metaphor in the Bible:
Eve was made from a rib. Why a rib you ask? A rib so that God could reveal the heart of man. (For what does the rib cover but the heart, the symbol of the human spirit.) With man's rib missing and his heart exposed, his natural tendency is to retrieve that rib again, such that his heart, his nature, would be hidden once again. (For what is union with woman but satisfaction of our greatest natural desires!) We used to think that all we needed was that rib back; we used to think that our heart would be whole once again, and protected if we just had that satisfaction with women (whatever type of satisfaction that is: marriage, multiple ONS, girlfriends, whatever) but what we learned is that we really must refine our hearts, change our natures, and enable ourselves to walk through the world without a care knowing that we could take on any challenge that the world presents.
That is the true role of woman, to reveal the heart of man.
Woman is best not is her presence, but in her absence. (That is true in more ways than one, heh heh : )
What changes a man? The woman that he got, or the woman that he did not get? (What brought you here to this site?) His nature is only revealed when that woman, that rib, is ripped away—painfully, but necessarily—and he must then work on himself, and better himself in every way.
Even the losers get lucky sometimes. Having success with women does not mean that you are a man by any stretch. Even if you have much success and treat them like dirt. The real test of a man is how much control of his own life that he gives to the woman that he is with (or wants to be with.) Others cannot guess this, it is only known by you after some thought.
Now, back to the point…
The reason I feel strange is that I put the decision into her hands when I think like that. I am thinking: "wow, she is hot, god damn! Look at that ass! God I want to sex her up!" and by doing this (or by doing nothing, the man is giving up all control), she gains control. The woman gains control from the man, very coyly, very discreetly, such that you can barely notice that it is happening! This is why desperation is bad.
There are levels to desperation: oneitis, sex, girlfriend, attention, etc. They all have one root: GIVING UP YOUR CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. Never, ever do this!
You will be tempted, because it will seem that you must do this in order to get women.
Remember, Adam was tempted with Eve, she broke the law first, but was deceived. Adam knew what he was doing was wrong (giving up control to a stupid woman) but he did it anyway.
You see your friends going through girl after girl, and you think, "gee, maybe I need to sex a bunch of chicks too," then you become desperate for sex.
You hear from your family "you need to settle down and find a nice girl," you then become desperate for a girlfriend.
You see a fine girl, "wow, I wonder if she wants to screw me?" you then have the disease known as oneitis.
You talk to a fine girl that is giving major buying signals, using all her feminine wiles to get your attention, "hey, when should we screw, now or later," you think. You give her all the power, and cease to become a complete man. Uncomforting feelings then set in.
Some old advice…
When you talk to a girl, just talk. Remember that girls are naturally sluts and the final decision about sex goes to YOU. But where the AFC fails is that he is blindly saying "yes, yes, yes, oh god yes!" and THIS repels chicks, you must say "maybe, still thinking about it, lets find out more than that tight body and see what is under the hood…" this is the true mindset of the Don Juan. The Don Juan can wait and pick the right girl and the right time, because we all know what happens when you leave decisions up to women, right? Don't think about ANYTHING else but having fun with her. Even if you are sure she wants you, WHO CARES? There are plenty of other girls just like her. Besides, you have better things to do than deal with her (as hot as she is.)
So just stare that sexuality coldly and hardly right in the eye, and have fun with it.
How far I have come! Before I used to wonder how to every girl interested in me, now I get nervous when they are! It may sound confusing that it is like that for me (why am I complaining?), but in these situations, there is a large gap between attraction and action. Society likes to call this gap dating. I don't have a desire to date these girls, I just want to sex them up: ) This all comes down, of course, to our old friend Mr. Desperation.
About Desperation
Desperation is not as simple as desperation for sex or desperation for a girlfriend. You can have sex every day with your girlfriend and still turn into a dribbling gob of goo for some other girl that you want to sex, no, some other girl that you would sex if only she gives you the chance. Therefore you are desperate when you have that thought in your mind that you would have sex with the girl (or a relationship), if only she would ask.
Herein lies the crux of the matter: you give her the control and final authority concerning the relationship between the two of you.
Desperation = loss of control = giving women the power. Then, she has already won and has no need to pursue you any further.
Even though this is a turn off for women—as it should be, since desperation makes us uncomfortable and we need to learn how to control it—sometimes even showing desperation does not drive a woman away, provided you are not actively chasing her. This may be worse, because the only thing that happens is that you are just uncomfortable around her, making your life hellish.
Desperation should be a turn off for women, because they need men who have power and control. Woman is designed to test man and see if he has what it takes to endure. The whole nature of woman is designed to trick men into believing that woman is the perfection! (Think AFC days people!) This could not be further from the truth. However, it feels like they have immense value. They are a falsehood that we take to be true. A man must be able to shun the naggings of perfection (and his own feelings of infatuation) and follow his own path through life, not woman's. (A woman's life is one of the most pointless stories ever created once you throw away the sexuality: the makeup, hair, clothes, boyfriends, children, etc.)
Even though the temptation is great, a man must keep all control and never give women any. This does not only apply to what does happen, but what may happen.
For example: you can never even think: "if she asked me right now, of course I would sex her."
Even this is giving up your power to this false perfection.
Lessons from the other Bible
Consider the metaphor in the Bible:
Eve was made from a rib. Why a rib you ask? A rib so that God could reveal the heart of man. (For what does the rib cover but the heart, the symbol of the human spirit.) With man's rib missing and his heart exposed, his natural tendency is to retrieve that rib again, such that his heart, his nature, would be hidden once again. (For what is union with woman but satisfaction of our greatest natural desires!) We used to think that all we needed was that rib back; we used to think that our heart would be whole once again, and protected if we just had that satisfaction with women (whatever type of satisfaction that is: marriage, multiple ONS, girlfriends, whatever) but what we learned is that we really must refine our hearts, change our natures, and enable ourselves to walk through the world without a care knowing that we could take on any challenge that the world presents.
That is the true role of woman, to reveal the heart of man.
Woman is best not is her presence, but in her absence. (That is true in more ways than one, heh heh : )
What changes a man? The woman that he got, or the woman that he did not get? (What brought you here to this site?) His nature is only revealed when that woman, that rib, is ripped away—painfully, but necessarily—and he must then work on himself, and better himself in every way.
Even the losers get lucky sometimes. Having success with women does not mean that you are a man by any stretch. Even if you have much success and treat them like dirt. The real test of a man is how much control of his own life that he gives to the woman that he is with (or wants to be with.) Others cannot guess this, it is only known by you after some thought.
Now, back to the point…
The reason I feel strange is that I put the decision into her hands when I think like that. I am thinking: "wow, she is hot, god damn! Look at that ass! God I want to sex her up!" and by doing this (or by doing nothing, the man is giving up all control), she gains control. The woman gains control from the man, very coyly, very discreetly, such that you can barely notice that it is happening! This is why desperation is bad.
There are levels to desperation: oneitis, sex, girlfriend, attention, etc. They all have one root: GIVING UP YOUR CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. Never, ever do this!
You will be tempted, because it will seem that you must do this in order to get women.
Remember, Adam was tempted with Eve, she broke the law first, but was deceived. Adam knew what he was doing was wrong (giving up control to a stupid woman) but he did it anyway.
You see your friends going through girl after girl, and you think, "gee, maybe I need to sex a bunch of chicks too," then you become desperate for sex.
You hear from your family "you need to settle down and find a nice girl," you then become desperate for a girlfriend.
You see a fine girl, "wow, I wonder if she wants to screw me?" you then have the disease known as oneitis.
You talk to a fine girl that is giving major buying signals, using all her feminine wiles to get your attention, "hey, when should we screw, now or later," you think. You give her all the power, and cease to become a complete man. Uncomforting feelings then set in.
Some old advice…
When you talk to a girl, just talk. Remember that girls are naturally sluts and the final decision about sex goes to YOU. But where the AFC fails is that he is blindly saying "yes, yes, yes, oh god yes!" and THIS repels chicks, you must say "maybe, still thinking about it, lets find out more than that tight body and see what is under the hood…" this is the true mindset of the Don Juan. The Don Juan can wait and pick the right girl and the right time, because we all know what happens when you leave decisions up to women, right? Don't think about ANYTHING else but having fun with her. Even if you are sure she wants you, WHO CARES? There are plenty of other girls just like her. Besides, you have better things to do than deal with her (as hot as she is.)
So just stare that sexuality coldly and hardly right in the eye, and have fun with it.
