Thundercat
Don Juan
Hey All,
Don't post here on the DJ boards much because most of my time is spent on my own website, but I really like this message board, so I thought I'd post a few things that have helped me to increase my success with women, so to speak. Hopefully, it'll help others as it helped me as well.
The first thing I want to talk about is Forcing Yourself to get out of the house and get your life going!
We’ve all been there before. It’s Friday, you get home and eat a little dinner. The sky is slowly darkening and you feel the urge to go out somewhere and unwind after a long week. So you call up a few friends, leave a few messages, and watch a little TV. It gets later in the evening, and no one has called back yet. You’re getting antsy. You want to go out and have a good time and meet some girls.
Eventually, it gets late, and you’re still at home. No one has called back for some reason, and you’re worried that your night is a bust. You end up shrugging it off and deciding to just stay in and hope there’s some good quasi-porn on Cinemax. Then you spend the rest of the night feeling like a loser, and that everyone else is living a better and more exciting life than you.
In short: You’re alone on a Friday Night. And it SUCKS!!!!
Speaking as a guy who used to spend every Friday night by himself, I can say unequivocally that nothing will depress you more than staying in on a night where everyone else is going to have fun. By doing so, you will begin to develop insecurities that will only depress you more, and as we all know, beating yourself up is not a good way to live a happy life.
So what’s a guy to do? No one wants to go out without their friends. Especially on a night that’s meant to be fun and social. But the thing is, you can’t rely on others for fun.
I’ll say it again: You can’t rely on others for fun.
This is a CORE concept in overcoming "Nice Guy" syndrome. Nice Guys rely on others for happiness in their lives. That's why they are "nice" to begin with. They want people to like them, so they will do things to get others to like them so those people can bring hope, fun, and validation into their lives. Part of overcoming that and becoming a cool guy that OTHERS want to have around is becoming self-sufficient for your own entertainment.
For example, I have a friend of mine who is HABITUALLY late. Seriously, it’s not unrealistic to wait for him for 2 hours before he joins you after the scheduled meeting time. But the thing is, I don’t mind it, because I don’t rely on him for my interactions. I’ll take my time getting to where I’m going, I’ll maybe hit up a book store or what have you, then head over to the meeting place and maybe get a bite to eat while I wait for him, taking the time to chat up any woman I may see in the vicinity.
This is something most people won’t do. Instead, they may wait at one place for a long time, sitting there quietly, bored, waiting, wondering when their friend will show up so they can start having fun. But you have to make your own fun. You have to rely on yourself for having a good time.
This means that come Friday, when you’re all alone at your place and you feel like going out and having a good time, do not wait around for your friends! Go do things you enjoy! Go out to dinner and chat up your waitress. Go see a movie. Head to the local bar for a happy hour. Just GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! The simple activity of going out in public, even if it is by yourself, will keep those feelings of “being a loser” at bay, because you are being active. You are opening your life up to possibilities that would not be there if you were by yourself at home.
But what do you do when you’re out by yourself? Well, I’ll probably write about that some other time. I know a lot of guys rely on others so much that the thought of venturing into the world solo can be earth-shaking. But it is vitally important to make yourself be active in life, in having experiences that make you a more well-rounded individual – even if it is by yourself!
Thundercat
Thundercat's Seduction Lair
Don't post here on the DJ boards much because most of my time is spent on my own website, but I really like this message board, so I thought I'd post a few things that have helped me to increase my success with women, so to speak. Hopefully, it'll help others as it helped me as well.
The first thing I want to talk about is Forcing Yourself to get out of the house and get your life going!
We’ve all been there before. It’s Friday, you get home and eat a little dinner. The sky is slowly darkening and you feel the urge to go out somewhere and unwind after a long week. So you call up a few friends, leave a few messages, and watch a little TV. It gets later in the evening, and no one has called back yet. You’re getting antsy. You want to go out and have a good time and meet some girls.
Eventually, it gets late, and you’re still at home. No one has called back for some reason, and you’re worried that your night is a bust. You end up shrugging it off and deciding to just stay in and hope there’s some good quasi-porn on Cinemax. Then you spend the rest of the night feeling like a loser, and that everyone else is living a better and more exciting life than you.
In short: You’re alone on a Friday Night. And it SUCKS!!!!
Speaking as a guy who used to spend every Friday night by himself, I can say unequivocally that nothing will depress you more than staying in on a night where everyone else is going to have fun. By doing so, you will begin to develop insecurities that will only depress you more, and as we all know, beating yourself up is not a good way to live a happy life.
So what’s a guy to do? No one wants to go out without their friends. Especially on a night that’s meant to be fun and social. But the thing is, you can’t rely on others for fun.
I’ll say it again: You can’t rely on others for fun.
This is a CORE concept in overcoming "Nice Guy" syndrome. Nice Guys rely on others for happiness in their lives. That's why they are "nice" to begin with. They want people to like them, so they will do things to get others to like them so those people can bring hope, fun, and validation into their lives. Part of overcoming that and becoming a cool guy that OTHERS want to have around is becoming self-sufficient for your own entertainment.
For example, I have a friend of mine who is HABITUALLY late. Seriously, it’s not unrealistic to wait for him for 2 hours before he joins you after the scheduled meeting time. But the thing is, I don’t mind it, because I don’t rely on him for my interactions. I’ll take my time getting to where I’m going, I’ll maybe hit up a book store or what have you, then head over to the meeting place and maybe get a bite to eat while I wait for him, taking the time to chat up any woman I may see in the vicinity.
This is something most people won’t do. Instead, they may wait at one place for a long time, sitting there quietly, bored, waiting, wondering when their friend will show up so they can start having fun. But you have to make your own fun. You have to rely on yourself for having a good time.
This means that come Friday, when you’re all alone at your place and you feel like going out and having a good time, do not wait around for your friends! Go do things you enjoy! Go out to dinner and chat up your waitress. Go see a movie. Head to the local bar for a happy hour. Just GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! The simple activity of going out in public, even if it is by yourself, will keep those feelings of “being a loser” at bay, because you are being active. You are opening your life up to possibilities that would not be there if you were by yourself at home.
But what do you do when you’re out by yourself? Well, I’ll probably write about that some other time. I know a lot of guys rely on others so much that the thought of venturing into the world solo can be earth-shaking. But it is vitally important to make yourself be active in life, in having experiences that make you a more well-rounded individual – even if it is by yourself!
Thundercat
Thundercat's Seduction Lair
