Don't be a doubter... be great.

[dbot]

"There are two types of people: those who are great, and those who doubt them." -dbot

That's right... I just quoted myself. Only someone who is truly great like me can pull off a stunt like that I'm here for a reason though, and that reason is to get some of the naysayers around here to stop living pathetic lives and start aspiring to do better. And no, just because you're on a self-help forum of sorts does not mean you're actually doing anything to improve yourself!

It saddens me when I browse the boards for the first time in months only to find more people calling me out in my threads or dismissing my logic, because "the girl must be a ho" or I must be "Brad Pitt" in order for such events to be believable. Actually, it doesn't sadden me, because I'm not the one who's missing out on the fun!

I read a comment where someone stated that if you talk to 25 women, 1 of them might hook up with you, should you be able to deal with all the rejection in the meantime. This person is severely misinformed. I almost never get rejected, mostly because I'm awesome, but partly because I DONT WASTE MY FUCKING TIME WITH CHICKS WHO AREN'T INTERESTED. If she's looking around like there's somewhere else she'd rather be, then trust me, you'd rather be somewhere else too. Start talking to women who are actually interested, and your success rate will go from 1 in 25, to 1 in... 1.

But that's not the point of this thread. The point is this. The information that makes sense is NOT the information you should be paying attention to. Think about it for a minute... the most successful people in life are the ones who take the unconventional approach - the approach that others believe will fail.


"If conventional wisdom were truth, everyone would be great. But alas, only I am." -dbot


I'm willing to bet that not one person who doubts my stories or my approach to pickup has ever attempted it themselves. Up here at the top, competition is pretty easy. Most of you will battle it out at bars and clubs, running unnecessarily complicated routines on women who are trying to get laid anyway, all while I can effortlessly pick them up while going about my normal daily routine.

If I post about it in an attempt to demystify and uncomplicate the community, I'll receive nothing short of a handful of "bullshit" or "yeah right" replies, as if the ideas I'm suggesting are so far-fetched that it's impossible or at least improbable to see the results I claim.

This is understandable, as nobody who is struggling with something wants to hear someone else tell them how easy or simple it really is. That's why people on this forum are constantly using the "you must be super good looking" or "women get hit on all the time, so that would never work" defense mechanism. This defense mechanism is the primary reason why so many of us are creating complicated solutions to problems that don't even exist. I'll say it again: we are creating complicated solutions to problems that don't even exist. Once you realize this, then everything I've been saying will start to make sense.

Sure, men hit on women all the time. But if you GENUINELY and RESPECTFULLY offer a lady a chance to be with you, I guarantee you will be the first. This is how I can consistently pick up cashiers at grocery stores or baristas in coffee shops... because I'm not "hitting" on them. I'm making them a genuine offer that they can take or leave at their own will, without obligation. Chances are, if she's interested, then she will accept the offer.


"If something sounds too good to be true... then it must really kick ass!" -dbot


Don't be a doubter. Doubting limits your improvement because you're not willing to accept an inconvenient or uncomfortable truth. Embrace the unconventional ideas, for it's those that put you far ahead of the game. No amount of logic or level thinking will give you the insight to understand what only a few people really get.

I've said this before many times, but I'll repeat it here anyway. Field reports suck. No matter how descriptive you are, you will never be able to fully describe the level of non-verbal sexual chemistry between the participants of an encounter. This results in the reader trying to piece the story together based on dialogue. Unfortunately, dialogue is not what gets you laid. Just read any of my field reports and see how many people make statements along the lines of "I don't see how saying X to a chick will make her want to bang you." It has nothing to do with the lines or even how you say them, and everything to do with recognizing attraction and leveraging it in your favor. I swear everytime I see someone ask what they should say to a girl in this or that situation, I want to fucking smack them. SNAP OUT OF IT!

Just face it... your logic sucks. Mine does too, but I've learned from experience to adjust my mentality so that it's congruent with reality. Don't be a doubter. Embrace the unconventional. Let us succeed while everyone else is busy reinventing the wheel.

-dbot

 

[Isko]

I've searched for your posts and read through pages of them, just because I believe in what you say... I've felt that way before. I really want more information, maybe a video or something, but I'll keep going for this state of mind either way.

I sometimes get into a state of mind where I walk around and see other people as they are.. no one is a stereotype and no one's life is magic... Everyone is just a human just like you, in the same room as you. It's actually very surprising how much you can interact with anyone. No one really talks to each other very often. They might chat, but they barely ever connect. The feeling I'm chasing, the state of mind, is the one where I'm so present in my own body that I understand the extent to which I can interact with others. I have become more aware of how my eye contact, body language, and every other thing I do affects the behavior of those around me.

I want to be in that enlightened state more often, hopefully always. It's the only way to live.. I'm tired of autopilot. I want to connect with people, to make them feel alive, and share experiences. I don't want to slide past other people.

When I find myself in that state of mind, I feel as if I have no boundaries and am able to do whatever I want. Which is usually getting girls... Nothing is better than sharing that mood with another human being and helping them feel real, alive, and human. I suspect it's the same state of mind you've developed...

Your posts, especially "Instant Attraction and the Truth About Sex", have been gestating in my mind for a long time and honestly I believe they've enriched my life. I have become much better at instantly connecting with people and I often feel much happier in my day to day life, just by attaining the state of mind to which your writing led me. I've been wanting to ask you for clarification. Please give me whatever you can. Thank you It's been a pleasure.

 

[Lexington]

I agree that VERY few guys genuinely offer a girl the chance to be with them. They walk up to a girl and try to make her laugh, entertain her, befriend her etc. but that doesn't necessarily lead to getting laid.

 

[suaveplayer]

I've searched for your posts and read through pages of them, just because I believe in what you say... I've felt that way before. I really want more information, maybe a video or something, but I'll keep going for this state of mind either way.

I sometimes get into a state of mind where I walk around and see other people as they are.. no one is a stereotype and no one's life is magic... Everyone is just a human just like you, in the same room as you. It's actually very surprising how much you can interact with anyone. No one really talks to each other very often. They might chat, but they barely ever connect. The feeling I'm chasing, the state of mind, is the one where I'm so present in my own body that I understand the extent to which I can interact with others. I have become more aware of how my eye contact, body language, and every other thing I do affects the behavior of those around me.

I want to be in that enlightened state more often, hopefully always. It's the only way to live.. I'm tired of autopilot. I want to connect with people, to make them feel alive, and share experiences. I don't want to slide past other people.

When I find myself in that state of mind, I feel as if I have no boundaries and am able to do whatever I want. Which is usually getting girls... Nothing is better than sharing that mood with another human being and helping them feel real, alive, and human. I suspect it's the same state of mind you've developed...

Your posts, especially "Instant Attraction and the Truth About Sex", have been gestating in my mind for a long time and honestly I believe they've enriched my life. I have become much better at instantly connecting with people and I often feel much happier in my day to day life, just by attaining the state of mind to which your writing led me. I've been wanting to ask you for clarification. Please give me whatever you can. Thank you It's been a pleasure.

well well said. exactly my thoughts esp on the "enlightened state of mind"

 

[Isko]

I've noticed how I react to other's presences. I slide right past fat girls. They register as existing, but not sexually.. I'm not nervous about how they react to me... If I make eye contact with them or smile at them, it's in a relaxed way, and it's to be nice.

With hot girls I become very aware of myself, very self-conscious. I can carry on conversations just fine, but they don't feel like real conversations... My body language tenses up and everything becomes a little controlled.

I remember reading in a Dbot post that he can tell when girls are attracted to him because they will tense up when they get around him... That's the truth... they're becoming self-conscious because they care about the outcome of the interaction...

The times I'm best with women are the times when I try to not see them as sexual beings... It goes against the whole idea of testosterone and gunwitch being correct, but this seems to be the best mentality for me: "I can't deny that she's attractive, but I'm not going to try to get her to have sex with me..." In fact, I seem to have good luck with trying to not be cool or sexy. People react much better to that.

The problem is that these are phrases that come to me when I have the right attitude. They never seem as poignant later, and they rarely get me back into the zone.

I want advice and help, because I'm gonna keep practicing and working on this.

Sometimes I think it's shallow to be so focused on sex, though. My ultimate goal is to be happy and feel like I understand the world so that I can make better decisions.

I'm pretty sure the big difference between someone who does what you (Dbot) do and the rest of us is mindset and beliefs. Reading your old posts, I see that you hammered out your skillz by constantly trying...

I expect that words can't convey the mindset, only experience.. but they can sort of point in the right direction. It's not just feelings though. I want to know beliefs. I want to know what you think of yourself and of the girls you're with. I doubt that you feel like an exploitative jerk. I think that you probably are a responsible person who likes other people, and cares about them up to the point where the person cares about themselves...

I guess my conscience bugs me if I don't feel like I'm being moral, but my sex drive bugs me if I'm not getting sex, and I don't know which I'd choose.. I don't think they have to be mutually exclusive, but I try to navigate this stuff morally, so I am probably making mistakes.. Girls want sex and someone to pay honest attention to them.. right? I guess it kinda feels like I'm "using" them for sex... which means I'm doing this wrong. I don't want to use anyone for sex.. In a broader sense, I feel scared to take control or lead other people sometimes, because I feel like I might not have their best interests at heart.

The best answer to this dilemma is to ALWAYS HAVE THEIR BEST INTERESTS AT HEART! That is what gives me the confidence to take over a situation. I have come to this conclusion before... Always have other people's best interests at heart, so that when you interact with them, you'll be confident in what you do, and they'll trust you and want you around, etc... Is this the kind of thing that you would agree with, Dbot?

If it wasn't, I'd be very surprised. When I have other people's best interests at heart (I know I keep repeating that, but I can't think of a better way to phrase it), I become very self-assured and relaxed.

I'm not really insecure about my body at all anymore; I've become insecure about my state of mind because I know from experience that my mind is far from perfect, and it's what really matters to people, including me.

Why do you go out and bang hot girls all day? Are you horny? Do you feel embarrassed or shallow at times? What do you think of the girls when you're doing them, talking to them, around them, or after you've parted ways? How do you interpret the experience? What do you get out of it?

I want you to post more god damnit. Thank you

EDIT: I just posted this: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=160723 and I think it invalidates a lot of this post. This post is now a record of how someone might think, so that you may better advise him.

 

[Isko]

I'm not sure how you reconcile these two ideas:

if you GENUINELY and RESPECTFULLY offer a lady a chance to be with you, I guarantee you will be the first. This is how I can consistently pick up cashiers at grocery stores or baristas in coffee shops... because I'm not "hitting" on them. I'm making them a genuine offer that they can take or leave at their own will, without obligation. Chances are, if she's interested, then she will accept the offer.

I've reached the point where I can get any woman to do pretty much anything I want by simply telling her to. I no longer bother with complex routines, patterning or any of that crap. I just tell her what I want her to do, and she will always do it, because that's what I expect. She has no choice in the matter, as the decision has already been made. She will do what I tell her because she knows she's supposed to, because I'm used to women giving me what I want. It's not her place to fall out of line. I am a person of influence and power and she will not hesitate to submit to me in any way.

(from this thread)

I try picturing things from her point of view, and I guess she might go for it if I offer sex without seeming desperate. (While I'm not desperate for sex, and I have no problem getting girls the conventional ways, I've never successfully done it this way.) I guess I just need to go out and try it a bunch of times. I'm not sure about the right attitude to have... But I guess that will come with practice.

 

[edger]

Sure, men hit on women all the time. But if you GENUINELY and RESPECTFULLY offer a lady a chance to be with you, I guarantee you will be the first.

You need to define "GENUINELY and RESPECTFULLY" offering a lady a chance to be with you.

 

[Isko]

Dbot, I've got some random questions for you, or for any of you, if you know what you're talking about.

1: Do girls do whatever you tell them to?

2: Should I tell girls I like them or not? Should I actually like them or not? (as people? or just sexually?)

3: Should I be a challenge or make it easy for them? I think the best way is to make sure they know that I will get laid whether or not they take me up on my offer...?

4. Should I be honest about my feelings no matter what they are?

5. Should I act like I find her physically attractive or not? Should I show it in conversation, body language, or both?

6. Should I act like I think I'm awesome?

7. Should I trust the DJ stuff I've read online or doubt it? Dbot sez don't be a doubter, but he also says that the DJ stuff is overcomplicated; that's confusing and contradicting. I think I really should refer to rule #1 and test it out. I think girls might just do whatever they're told and led to do. Guys too, very often, but we do whatever we want to do a lot of the time.

8. What is it that makes the difference? Honesty? The mentality that you're awesome? Does the mentality that you're awesome come from being 100% honest, because honesty is pretty awesome? Should I just try to be as real as possible, even though that means being negative sometimes?

I'm asking Dbot this because he has the life I want: Able to seduce girls in a moment's notice. At least he says he does.. And I believe him because all his advice seems plausible... I just don't understand what he does 100%. I listen to anyone who says they get these kind of results because they're the results I want and I can always test the theories. I want to be able to get a hot girl in the shortest time possible.. Maybe I'm afraid of it too.. but I want it anyway.

What do you talk about with the girl after the pickup? What is the vibe like? Does it change often? I know that when I do pickup, the vibe goes from sexual to asexual very very often. No one is ever turned on all the time. Is that balance the ideal? I really don't understand what successful DJs do or whether they enjoy it... What the **** do you talk about with girls? Do you show that you sometimes think things are weird?

A lot of this sounds more like "life" advice

When I'm around girls, I honestly waver in the middle of two alternatives: Thinking they're the most beautiful specimens of femininity ever, and thinking they're just ordinary silly women. Should I favor one outlook? Both? I think both are true so I'd probably have to be convinced otherwise.

Thanks for reading and responding. Man, I know I'm harassing you in your own thread but I really want to talk to you :rockon:

 

[dbot]

Why do you go out and bang hot girls all day? Are you horny? Do you feel embarrassed or shallow at times? What do you think of the girls when you're doing them, talking to them, around them, or after you've parted ways? How do you interpret the experience? What do you get out of it?

Don't get the idea that all I do all day long is walk around and fuck women. Yes, I'm a very sexual person, and I've learned to get it when I want it, but it's definitely not the only thing I live for. I don't ever feel embarrassed about my sexuality. My sexual desire is what makes me human, and everyone else experiences the same urges, no matter how much they try to cover it up.

And the more women you're with, the more you start to realize how similar we all are. We all want the same thing, and we're all scared as fuck to admit it. Everybody "knows" this, but very few people actually get it. If they did, they'd understand why I can simply ask a girl to follow me home, knowing that she probably would. Also, the more women you're with, the more appreciative you become of them and their body rather than simply the satisfying of your sexual urge.

ALWAYS HAVE THEIR BEST INTERESTS AT HEART!

Don't get too hung up on this. 80% of the time your interests and her interests are going to be the same... you're both looking for an opportunity for sex. She's probably thinking "I want to fuck this guys brains out, but I don't want to look slutty." It's your job to provide her with that solution - that "opportunity." When I tell a girl to "come with me for a minute" or to "call me when you're off work" or to "meet me outside" or to "follow me to the bedroom," I'm simply giving her a chance to get what she's looking for.

Also, her best interests should not be important so long as you're both getting what you want. If she needs an emotional and physical connection to help her distance herself from her ex, and you just want her body. GREAT! You're both getting what you want.

Get yourself out of the mentality that it's wrong to use people for sex. Consensual sex is NEVER one-sided. Everyone in this world is using each other for their bodies and for their emotions. Embrace it. Your sexuality is a gift. It's one of the rare instances in life where you can truly have your cake and eat it too. You shouldn't ever have to "trick" or "convince" someone into having sex with you, because they have just as much to gain from the experience.

That brings me to another point... you will never be able to fully understand women (or enjoy the fruits they have to offer) if you label them. There is no such thing as a slut, and there is no justifiable reason to apply it to anyone. The word alone is responsible for so much of the psychological instability in american women, it's painful to think about. Who has more self respect: The Slut, who embraces her sexuality and the nature of life, or The Prude, who deprives her body of it's natural urges and pleasure?

Answers to your questions:

1. If they're attracted, yes.
2. This isn't a question you should be asking yourself. You can't force yourself to like someone. But just because you don't like someone doesn't mean you can't share your body with theirs.
3. This is also not what should be on your mind.
4. Big question. In general, yes.
5. You shouldn't have to consciously worry about it. If you're in a sexual state, she will pick up on it (and most likely get horny herself). People feed off each other's sexuality...it's contagious.
6. No. You should be awesome, and know that you are. No acting required.
7. I don't doubt any of the DJ stuff on here. It all works perfectly fine. I'm simply saying that its overcomplicated and completely unnecessary.

8. What is it that makes the difference? Honesty? The mentality that you're awesome? Does the mentality that you're awesome come from being 100% honest, because honesty is pretty awesome? Should I just try to be as real as possible, even though that means being negative sometimes?

You're still missing the big picture. Sex is mutual! Both parties benefit!

It's like everyone has a giant bag of Skittles, and they all want to know what everyone else's Skittles taste like. She wants your Skittles, yet you're asking me "how can I get her to give me some of her Skittles?" Ummm I don't know... maybe try offering her some of your goddamn Skittles!


-dbot

 

[slaog]

Love the quotes dbot!


How you see yourself will determine the outcome of your interactions with people. If you have low confidence/self esteem then you can learn all the pick up lines and moves there is but you'll still send out a low value vibe. Be great and women will sense that and be attracted to you. I've experianced this myself. As soon as I began to believe that I was high value I got instant results. Its still an on going process but I wouldn't call myself an AFC anymore.


People don't get it when they're told to "be" great. When you are a great person you won't need cheesy pick up lines and you'll see things from a higher point of view ie instead of trying to make women like you, you give them a chance to spend time in your company (because you're the prize).