DonnyJuanny Improvement Journey (Want Help!)

[DonnyJuanny]

Alright fellas. Here's the deal.

Met girl. Fell in love. First serious relationship. Thought she was the best thing ever. Go out for a while. She breaks it off with me. Devastated obviously. I love her a whole lot (or maybe it was infatuation)? Anywho, for the first month after the relationship we were still trying to make things work and still hanging out and talking but I felt like we were getting nowhere so I decided NC. She blew up my phone but, like an idiot, and against all the advice given here, I gave up on that and we started talking again. Whatever. That's the past and there is no reason to worry over it cause it's already done.

I get to a point where I'm doing the whole begging and pleading thing now instead of her. Screw it. I know that's a mistake now too. This is all in the past. I know I've ruined things with this one and I've always heard the biggest "screw you" to your exes is living an amazing life so that's what I want to do. I sent one last message mid-August and she didn't respond. Oh well. Screw it. Another mistake.

The reason I'm talking of all these mistakes is to get insight from ya'll on how to improve my life in every facet. Not to get her back. At first I wanted her but since I haven't been talking to her it's gotten easier everyday. I just want to know where to start in finally getting over her once and for all and finding a woman that will blow her out of the water.

Improvements made since breakup 4 months ago:
Quit smoking. Been cig free for four months now.
Lost 35 lbs.
My social life is still trying to come back seeing as how I dropped most of it for this girl. (another mistake. I know.)

Just looking for guidance and help. Thanks to anyone and everyone!!!

 

[DonnyJuanny]

What have you been doing to meet new girls, new friends, or re-establish contacts with old friends?

Well, I've always been a shyer character until people get to know me. The problem is that people don't get to know me if I don't talk to them. My roommate works at a bar here where we live. Amazing college town. I usually go a good bit and hang out with him even if he is working. I never really talked to a lot of people but really really recently I've been at least attempting to talk to people.

One thing I am proud of is that the other day I saw this cute looking girl so I decided screw it, I'm talking to her. Went up and said hello and chatted for a few seconds. Then she started talking some nonsense about exes and whatnot and started get really hostile towards me. I just cut her off and said, "Look, I thought you were really pretty so I decided to come over and say hi. After talking to you for a couple minutes, I've noticed that you don't seem like a very nice person so I'm leaving." It's really silly but normally I wouldn't say things like that.

I will not lie that my ex didn't get in my head. For the longest time I thought that I was the crazy one even when EVERYONE told me not to date her from the start because she was loony. Oh well. Live and learn. I still care but I'm trying not to anymore.

 

[DonnyJuanny]

Woke up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare with her in it. Took a good while to calm myself down enough to fall back asleep. I FINALLY realized that she is out of my life. That means that ANY pain I'm feeling has to be caused by ME. She has nothing to do with it anymore. It's a rough day so far and right now I am feeling kind of down but I hope to get out and have a good day on campus. Make some good grades. Get a nap in. I've got a 2 mile run scheduled for later today and that usually helps my brain work itself out.

 

[DonnyJuanny]

Perhaps I'm having an epiphany here but I'm single. I'm a good guy. This one didn't work out and I resented her for that but maybe I'm finally starting to let go. I mean why would ANYONE want to be with a whiny snivelling shell of a man? This improvement's aim is not to get her back but if I do ever talk to her again then I want to say "thank you." Her dumping me, at the very least, has gotten me started on this path. I don't know where it will lead or how I'll end up but it feels promising. Yeah, I'll get them next time. It's amazing how much happier you feel when you begin to let go of that resentment. It's draining to hold onto it. Just let it go.

 

[Reborn357]

Perhaps I'm having an epiphany here but I'm single. I'm a good guy. This one didn't work out and I resented her for that but maybe I'm finally starting to let go. I mean why would ANYONE want to be with a whiny snivelling shell of a man? This improvement's aim is not to get her back but if I do ever talk to her again then I want to say "thank you." Her dumping me, at the very least, has gotten me started on this path. I don't know where it will lead or how I'll end up but it feels promising. Yeah, I'll get them next time. It's amazing how much happier you feel when you begin to let go of that resentment. It's draining to hold onto it. Just let it go.

I'm in the same situation as you man (just got out of my first relationship). As others have said, just use the knowledge of what happened as motivation to continually better yourself. Plus now you will be better prepared for your next relationship.

Stay strong

 

[DonnyJuanny]

Class went pretty well today. Came home and napped for about an hour. My roommate decided last night that he wanted to lose weight and wanted to start running with me so we went today. Maybe he'll help to keep me motivated even though I really don't typically have a problem with it. Hell, if he gets me out there one day that I don't wanna be out there then that's terrific. I was planning on doing 2 miles today but I felt really good at mile 2 so I decided to kick it for another .3 miles or so. Things are starting to look up. And the best part about that is that they're looking up because I made up MY mind that they are. Not because of some arbitrary force. I'm calling the shots. I rule my world.

 

[DonnyJuanny]

So I didn't run yesterday as a buddy and I had an impromptu day drinking day. That's fine. You have to cut loose sometimes. We just went to the bar and hung out for a good while and had some real fun. Talked to a few women but I wasn't worried about trying to sleep with them this time and overall that seemed to make it easier to talk to them. Not sure if that is good or bad just observing a difference within myself. Going for a little run after class today to aid with getting rid of this hangover. Should be fun.