Doing daygame : Many Dates but...

[LightOfVictory]

My guess is: you're too conservative, easy-going, agreeable, non-threatening, and (like you say) desperate and over-eager for immature girls who just want to have fun; live off the thrills and emotional ups and downs; want to acquire the "prize"; are obsessed with the chase and challenge and uncertainty (and their status); etc. They will get bored very quickly if you're not exciting, ****y, sexually stimulating, challenging, etc.

Young people are all about the bad and cool, and what they deem quality is based around their shallow criteria. So, being a nice / decent guy towards a group looking for "bad boys" and alpha losers is pretty futile. That's why you get "friend-zoned", and ****. They're shallow, immature, and cliquey. Status is HUGE among young people; douche bags and loud-mouthed *******s fare well with them. They want someone they can "look up to".

Since you're not physically attractive enough (young people are also obsessed with looks, and judge people by how "hot" they are, and if they give them butterflies, and if they're cool and respected enough to be seen by their peers), they don't give you any chances, push for sex, try to set up FWB situations, etc. Just give you once chance out of curiosity (not high interest), then done. So, you're facing an uphill battle already, and need to stimulate them in other ways.

It's pretty much ****, but that's how it is. Many of them are fake, shallow, stuck up, etc, and couldn't really care less about anything other than their shallow lifestyle and mindset. You gotta either lower yourself to appease them, and NOT take them seriously, or aim higher in age / maturity. These "kids" are very flakey, indecisive, confusing, drama-ridden, conniving, etc.

Firstly, Im from an Asian conservative country. It so happens that the girls that I have managed to retain through cold approach are from my uni. All these gals are conservative also and preety intelligent. I am very egotistical on the dates. I talk about how good looking I am and I normally have good challenging conversation with them. The people in my country have traditional family values. Girls and Guys here stay with their parents till they get married.

Secondly, I am good looking. When i approach, the approach is talking about me mostly. Preety short approaches. I have had many girls tell me that I am good loooking. Its a very ' I am the prize approach'. But I do get a lot a girls who also think that it is weird. Anime eyes, preening, legs crossed are common stuff I get.

I have adpoted an egotistical style in a conservative country where majority of the gals are not open to cold approach at all and have it made it work. I attribute this to the centredness that I got from practicing inner body meditation and learning spirituality.

The gals that I have managed to retain are those that I have cold approached and happened to be from my uni. I have a whole lot of gals who have dissappeared after one date.

I did have a lot of inner issues starting, and it reduced trememdously as I walked the path. But I m still working on eradicating all of them. An issue that keeps appearing is the 'Fear of loss'. Girl cancels last min, fear of loss. Girl takes unusually long to reply, fear of loss. Neediness is reducing but still there.

So yeah.

 

[floydb25]

Fair enough... like I said, just a guess. If it is as you say, then maybe it's the opposite. You're TOO ****y, egotistical, conceited, playerish, etc for these conservative, intelligent, traditional, family-oriented girls who have no interest in players and bad boys.

That's the problem with the whole game. This kind of stuff works wonders on the kind of girls I described, but repels the decent ones. And vice versa. It's the choosing in which girls to date / ****, and which to get involved with. Society and culture has a lot to do with it, also.

 

[JohnChops]

Fair enough... like I said, just a guess. If it is as you say, then maybe it's the opposite. You're TOO ****y, egotistical, conceited, playerish, etc for these conservative, intelligent, traditional, family-oriented girls who have no interest in players and bad boys.

That's the problem with the whole game. This kind of stuff works wonders on the kind of girls I described, but repels the decent ones. And vice versa. It's the choosing in which girls to date / ****, and which to get involved with. Society and culture has a lot to do with it, also.

Yes. You really have to choose which girls to go for. For example if you wanted to date the emo/goth type girl you will never get them by building huge amounts of muscle mass and being a ****y dbag. That will attract those shallow, slutty girls.

If you want to attract shy nice girls, you be sincere and sexual and tone down the ****y and funny.

Attracting women one thing. Determining what kind of women she is so you can run proper game is another. And of course going for a certain type will also dictate the game you run. I can tell you first hand being ****y and playerish to a nice girl is all kinds of fail. However, dumb blondes love that sh1t

 

[Demonpenz]

You are eventually going to figure out what works and what does if you just keep at it. The magic of the vagina will soon be in your mouth.

 

[floydb25]

Yes. You really have to choose which girls to go for. For example if you wanted to date the emo/goth type girl you will never get them by building huge amounts of muscle mass and being a ****y dbag. That will attract those shallow, slutty girls.

If you want to attract shy nice girls, you be sincere and sexual and tone down the ****y and funny.

Attracting women one thing. Determining what kind of women she is so you can run proper game is another. And of course going for a certain type will also dictate the game you run. I can tell you first hand being ****y and playerish to a nice girl is all kinds of fail. However, dumb blondes love that sh1t

Agreed... And vice versa. Bad / crazy / shallow / dumb / fake girls are REPELLED by decent guys. Unfortunately, they're the ones who get the juices flowing, and are usually hot, but aren't worth keeping around. Gah... :cuss:

 

[JohnChops]

Agreed... And vice versa. Bad / crazy / shallow / dumb / fake girls are REPELLED by decent guys. Unfortunately, they're the ones who get the juices flowing, and are usually hot, but aren't worth keeping around. Gah... :cuss:

sure they're hot, and we would all love to bang them. But think long termish. I'm glad they leave me alone (there was a time when thats all i attracted) and they are just so much trouble. Honestly, i got sick of the drama and annoying sh1t they bring.

Ive always been trying to find a nice girl, somewhat at least, but my ****y and funny attitude (Since i was used to attracting trash, *****y women) got in the way.

Time for a mindset change is all.

 

[Swampcamel]

You have this "needa girl" mentality. You can't annihilate it until you understand it. It's a core part of your subconscious, and until you raise it up to the conscious level and observe it, you won't get rid of it. Once you observe it, you're the observer outside the ego, and it moves outside you, you can drop it.

That's what the issue is at the core. An ego problem. You needagirl to validate yourself. You can either remove yourself from the ego so you don't need validation, or you can validate yourself in other ways--but will it ever be enough? You work out at the gym, you hang out with more dudes, you get more proficient, but the doubt is still there, you'll still be constantly looking for validation from those around you. You have to rise above the need for validation from others, you only need to validate yourself. If you're honest with yourself, and you put yourself to hard work on the things YOU care about (not what girls, or your family, or your boss cares about, your projects), you'll accomplish this. You have to taste success in areas uninfluenced by external pressure and see that success. When you later hear other people's opinions, you'll grasp that they don't have a clue about you, what you've been through, and what you're capable of, so their opinions don't matter. Then you'll project that frame of mind into the rest of the areas of your life. Then you become incredibly attractive to people, because people want the incredible and rare qualities of a person that allows them to have happiness that isn't dependent on what others think of them. They want to absorb that, and they want to surround themselves with people who are like that.

I read a lot of Osho. He's a crazy motherfvcker, and he did some questionable things, but his readings are crazy lucid and spot on, explain a lot of the hindu and buddhist concepts in a modern fashion. Book of Secrets is my favorite one, cause you can pretty much flip to any section and find something relevant.

 

[visions]

Yes. You really have to choose which girls to go for. For example if you wanted to date the emo/goth type girl you will never get them by building huge amounts of muscle mass and being a ****y dbag. That will attract those shallow, slutty girls.

If you want to attract shy nice girls, you be sincere and sexual and tone down the ****y and funny.

Attracting women one thing. Determining what kind of women she is so you can run proper game is another. And of course going for a certain type will also dictate the game you run.

well said. from your previous posts i can tell you know your stuff

 

[floydb25]

sure they're hot, and we would all love to bang them. But think long termish. I'm glad they leave me alone (there was a time when thats all i attracted) and they are just so much trouble. Honestly, i got sick of the drama and annoying sh1t they bring.

Ive always been trying to find a nice girl, somewhat at least, but my ****y and funny attitude (Since i was used to attracting trash, *****y women) got in the way.

Time for a mindset change is all.

Damn... you just described me. Same experiences, personality, and problems. I think it's ok to bang them still... just don't get attached or sucked into their BS. Many of them are players and manipulators; it's all their lives revolve around.

Desperation, low self-esteem, approval-seeking and co-dependancy issues ****ed me real good in this regard. As well as wanting the trophy to show off, and to be accepted and respected by peers. Definitely not worth it. They just tried to tear me down, sabotage, and compete over everything, anyway. So much for that idea.

 

[LightOfVictory]

You have this "needa girl" mentality. You can't annihilate it until you understand it. It's a core part of your subconscious, and until you raise it up to the conscious level and observe it, you won't get rid of it. Once you observe it, you're the observer outside the ego, and it moves outside you, you can drop it.

That's what the issue is at the core. An ego problem. You needagirl to validate yourself. You can either remove yourself from the ego so you don't need validation, or you can validate yourself in other ways--but will it ever be enough? You work out at the gym, you hang out with more dudes, you get more proficient, but the doubt is still there, you'll still be constantly looking for validation from those around you. You have to rise above the need for validation from others, you only need to validate yourself. If you're honest with yourself, and you put yourself to hard work on the things YOU care about (not what girls, or your family, or your boss cares about, your projects), you'll accomplish this. You have to taste success in areas uninfluenced by external pressure and see that success. When you later hear other people's opinions, you'll grasp that they don't have a clue about you, what you've been through, and what you're capable of, so their opinions don't matter. Then you'll project that frame of mind into the rest of the areas of your life. Then you become incredibly attractive to people, because people want the incredible and rare qualities of a person that allows them to have happiness that isn't dependent on what others think of them. They want to absorb that, and they want to surround themselves with people who are like that.

I read a lot of Osho. He's a crazy motherfvcker, and he did some questionable things, but his readings are crazy lucid and spot on, explain a lot of the hindu and buddhist concepts in a modern fashion. Book of Secrets is my favorite one, cause you can pretty much flip to any section and find something relevant.

Hey man, thanks for ur reply. I m applying the teachings of J.krishnamurthi and eckhart tolle for this. But I would like to ask u how did u bring it up consciously and observe this? Did u relive the memory of it?

Regarding the embarking on ur projects thing, i think u are so right! Doing things tht u want to do rather than what society dictates to u. That is living ur life!

I'm into J. Krishanmurthi and his teachings. Had a glance at osho. Don't think ill be delving into him for now.

I would also like to hear about how u overcame ur neediness if u were at all needy.

Many thanks!

 

[LightOfVictory]

bump

 

[LightOfVictory]

Hey man, thanks for ur reply. I m applying the teachings of J.krishnamurthi and eckhart tolle for this. But I would like to ask u how did u bring it up consciously and observe this? Did u relive the memory of it?

Regarding the embarking on ur projects thing, i think u are so right! Doing things tht u want to do rather than what society dictates to u. That is living ur life!

I'm into J. Krishanmurthi and his teachings. Had a glance at osho. Don't think ill be delving into him for now.

I would also like to hear about how u overcame ur neediness if u were at all needy.

Many thanks!

bump