Doesn't want a boyfriend - Question

[Daily Insanity]

Hello I am new here and I have a simple question for you guys as you seem to be knowledgeable on this subject.

So I decided I "want" a girlfriend, and I have know this girl though my previous job for about 2 years now , never actually hung out since 4 weeks ago, and the last time 2 days ago. I have taken an interest in her a while back however I did not want a girlfriend at that time and I didn't know if she was interested since I didn't care much. But she texted me 4 weeks ago and we decided to hang out since then. This wasn't everyday hangout, since I am a busy guy, but maybe twice a week. Attraction was absolutely there and she even told me she liked me. She's down to earth so I decided to give this girl a chance as my girlfriend and moved from there.

Last week I took her to my companies outing where we enjoyed ourselves and things seemed fine until she spoke of another guy, this is what she said.

Her: So this guy I liked lied to me because he hung out with my best friend when he said he was busy to hang out with me. I hate liars.
Me: Do you like him still?
Her: No Way, hes a liar.

This is obviously a red flag for me as you probably already know this.

So I asked her to hang out again before I flew to Colorado for a business meeting and got down to some serious conversations about dating. I asked her if she was ready to date, she said she was and I told her that I liked her "like that" <-- I did not use this terminology. She told me she liked me like that too but she just doesn't want a boyfriend. I followed up with why not? She came up with couple excuses such as, not being free, not being able to hang out with her friends.

Obviously another red flag.

So I told her we hit a brick wall and to track back a bit to just being friends. Which was fine with me. She said if I was sure I want this, I said yes I am sure, I know where we stand now.

She went home that night, and texted me saying she wants to give us a chance.

I didn't get a chance to reply to her because I was knock out cold asleep. So I invited her to come out with me to a movie 2 nights ago, where the topic of us being together came up. She stated she talked to her friends and asked what was the hurry? I replied, there is no hurry but I am ready for a relationship. She again said she doesn't want a boyfriend to which I replied, again we stand at this, just friends. Now I was serious and I told her not to never bring up that we should get a chance again and just stay as friends. Since two days ago I have not texted or called her. I am OK with this, as I don't like women who don't know what they want.

Sorry about the long story, but my question is, did I handle this correctly? I am OK to move on and all, she was just the type I would like to date.

Thank you for your replies.

 

[Burroughs]

less talky talky

more fvcky fvcky

:crackup: :crackup:

Are you saying its because I failed to get her in the bed first?

yes

women want men of action not words

 

[Daily Insanity]

less talky talky

more fvcky fvcky

:crackup: :crackup:

Are you saying its because I failed to get her in the bed first?

 

[DonJuanabe]

Just shut up. You are making this heavy and serious - it should be positive and simple. What girls say means nothing; how they act means everything. Before a girl says you are her boyfriend you have to act like her boyfriend, which means you have to pound her in bed. Have you even kissed her? That's your first step.

 

[Daily Insanity]

Just shut up. You are making this heavy and serious - it should be positive and simple. What girls say means nothing; how they act means everything. Before a girl says you are her boyfriend you have to act like her boyfriend, which means you have to pound her in bed. Have you even kissed her? That's your first step.

Kissed her yes, slept with her no.

 

[Igetit!]

Like the other have said.....you talk TOO MUCH. You're approaching this chick LOGICALLY. That's where you messed up. Another thing....you don't "announce" to a girl,"Ok,I'm ready for a girlfriend now".


You just date,enjoy each other,and have a good time....let her bring it up.

So I asked her to hang out again before I flew to Colorado for a business meeting and got down to some serious conversations about dating. I asked her if she was ready to date, she said she was and I told her that I liked her

Two mistakes in one here bro. You DON'T ASK a girl if she's ready to date.....you JUST DATE HER. The whole topic of "whether she's ready or not" should NEVER have even came up.


And "TELLING HER" you liked her....come on now......you know better than that. :nono:

She told me she liked me like that too but she just doesn't want a boyfriend. I followed up with why not? She came up with couple excuses such as, not being free, not being able to hang out with her friends.

Heh...if you let people talk long enough,they'll reveal their true selves.


She LIED to you here. When she said she doesn't want a boyfriend,she was LYING. She wants one,just not YOU. How do I know she was lying? Easy....



She said she doesn't want a boyfriend cause she won't be free and she'll no longer be able to hang out with her friends. Well she certainly seemed to be upset at the guy who lied to her about being busy. She was WILLING to make time for him. Now all of the sudden time is an issue?

Heh...typical female.

So I told her we hit a brick wall and to track back a bit to just being friends. Which was fine with me. She said if I was sure I want this, I said yes I am sure, I know where we stand now.

She went home that night, and texted me saying she wants to give us a chance

You know what happened here,right? You bruised her EGO. When you told her you two should backtrack to just being friends,she felt like you rejected her. THAT'S WHY she texted you later on saying she wants to give things a chance.



If you do give her a chance,I'll give it a few days...maybe a week before SHE turns around and breaks things off cause a woman CAN'T maintain a relationship based on EGO,she needs attraction/chemistry.


She didn't suggest you two giving things a go because of attraction,it was cause of her EGO...her bruised ego. Once her ego is fixed,and she's there with you...alone....with NO ATTRACTION,it'll be game over.



Here's my suggestion.....if she DOES decide to give things a go....EVEN IF it's cause of her ego....SHUT UP "TALKING" to her about being ready for a relationship,and just do things to make her attracted to you.


Flirt,tease,be playful,use sexual innuendo,maybe an occasional neg,some DHVs....just focus on making her FEEL attraction.



You talk TOO MUCH. You're too logical. Throw reason of the window and make her FEEL something.

 

[QuodErat]

Her: So this guy I liked lied to me because he hung out with my best friend when he said he was busy to hang out with me. I hate liars.
Me: Do you like him still?
Her: No Way, hes a liar.

Why is that a red flag? That's legit -- no girl is going to like it when some guy she likes ditches her to go fvck her best friend.

Anyway, bring her over, get her in the mood, ignore what she says, and escalate as far as you can.

 

[Daily Insanity]

Like the other have said.....you talk TOO MUCH. You're approaching this chick LOGICALLY. That's where you messed up. Another thing....you don't "announce" to a girl,"Ok,I'm ready for a girlfriend now".


You just date,enjoy each other,and have a good time....let her bring it up.






Two mistakes in one here bro. You DON'T ASK a girl if she's ready to date.....you JUST DATE HER. The whole topic of "whether she's ready or not" should NEVER have even came up.


And "TELLING HER" you liked her....come on now......you know better than that. :nono:




Heh...if you let people talk long enough,they'll reveal their true selves.


She LIED to you here. When she said she doesn't want a boyfriend,she was LYING. She wants one,just not YOU. How do I know she was lying? Easy....



She said she doesn't want a boyfriend cause she won't be free and she'll no longer be able to hang out with her friends. Well she certainly seemed to be upset at the guy who lied to her about being busy. She was WILLING to make time for him. Now all of the sudden time is an issue?

Heh...typical female.




You know what happened here,right? You bruised her EGO. When you told her you two should backtrack to just being friends,she felt like you rejected her. THAT'S WHY she texted you later on saying she wants to give things a chance.



If you do give her a chance,I'll give it a few days...maybe a week before SHE turns around and breaks things off cause a woman CAN'T maintain a relationship based on EGO,she needs attraction/chemistry.


She didn't suggest you two giving things a go because of attraction,it was cause of her EGO...her bruised ego. Once her ego is fixed,and she's there with you...alone....with NO ATTRACTION,it'll be game over.



Here's my suggestion.....if she DOES decide to give things a go....EVEN IF it's cause of her ego....SHUT UP "TALKING" to her about being ready for a relationship,and just do things to make her attracted to you.


Flirt,tease,be playful,use sexual innuendo,maybe an occasional neg,some DHVs....just focus on making her FEEL attraction.



You talk TOO MUCH. You're too logical. Throw reason of the window and make her FEEL something.

Makes sense. Thank you for clarifying. I am a logical person for the most part, I am in a business where I have to be, maybe that's my issue.

 

[foreverAFC]

Like the other have said.....you talk TOO MUCH. You're approaching this chick LOGICALLY. That's where you messed up. Another thing....you don't "announce" to a girl,"Ok,I'm ready for a girlfriend now".


You just date,enjoy each other,and have a good time....let her bring it up.






Two mistakes in one here bro. You DON'T ASK a girl if she's ready to date.....you JUST DATE HER. The whole topic of "whether she's ready or not" should NEVER have even came up.


And "TELLING HER" you liked her....come on now......you know better than that. :nono:




Heh...if you let people talk long enough,they'll reveal their true selves.


She LIED to you here. When she said she doesn't want a boyfriend,she was LYING. She wants one,just not YOU. How do I know she was lying? Easy....



She said she doesn't want a boyfriend cause she won't be free and she'll no longer be able to hang out with her friends. Well she certainly seemed to be upset at the guy who lied to her about being busy. She was WILLING to make time for him. Now all of the sudden time is an issue?

Heh...typical female.




You know what happened here,right? You bruised her EGO. When you told her you two should backtrack to just being friends,she felt like you rejected her. THAT'S WHY she texted you later on saying she wants to give things a chance.



If you do give her a chance,I'll give it a few days...maybe a week before SHE turns around and breaks things off cause a woman CAN'T maintain a relationship based on EGO,she needs attraction/chemistry.


She didn't suggest you two giving things a go because of attraction,it was cause of her EGO...her bruised ego. Once her ego is fixed,and she's there with you...alone....with NO ATTRACTION,it'll be game over.



Here's my suggestion.....if she DOES decide to give things a go....EVEN IF it's cause of her ego....SHUT UP "TALKING" to her about being ready for a relationship,and just do things to make her attracted to you.


Flirt,tease,be playful,use sexual innuendo,maybe an occasional neg,some DHVs....just focus on making her FEEL attraction.



You talk TOO MUCH. You're too logical. Throw reason of the window and make her FEEL something.

wow you seem like you really do get it, great insight