Does your reputation precede you?

[Scars]

Was talking with a girl I banged not too long ago, and she casually mentioned in conversation that before she met me she was "warned" by other guys that I am a player / "man wh0re" and I should be avoided.. well, you already know the ending and she definitely didn't listen to that advice..

Wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences?

This has definitely happened more than once in my life.. it's like a girl is warned that you're a "bad boy" and she immediately gets intrigued and has to see for herself.

Why do women get so attracted to men perceived as "man slvts"? Logic would tell you that they would find these men repulsive, disgusting, maybe even have women in fear of catching an STD.. but it's the exact opposite. All that goes out the window.

Women would rather share a high status male than have a lame who is 100% faithful to her.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Was talking with a girl I banged not too long ago, and she casually mentioned in conversation that before she met me she was "warned" by other guys that I am a player / "man wh0re" and I should be avoided.. well, you already know the ending and she definitely didn't listen to that advice..

Wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences?

This has definitely happened more than once in my life.. it's like a girl is warned that you're a "bad boy" and she immediately gets intrigued and has to see for herself.

Why do women get so attracted to men perceived as "man slvts"? Logic would tell you that they would find these men repulsive, disgusting, maybe even have women in fear of catching an STD.. but it's the exact opposite. All that goes out the window.

Women would rather share a high status male than have a lame who is 100% faithful to her.

Because women want men who other women desire. Because Women want men that they know can close the deal and not leave them going home all horny because he couldn't make sex happen. Because women want a man who is experienced and knows what he is doing in the bedroom. Because women know that there must be a reason why other women are so attracted to you and they want to find out for themselves.

It's like pre-selection or social proof when you are out somewhere and they see you with hot women. You immediately become more attractive to them.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Because women want men who other women desire. Because Women want men that they know can close the deal and not leave them going home all horny because he couldn't make sex happen. Because women want a man who is experienced and knows what he is doing in the bedroom. Because women know that there must be a reason why other women are so attracted to you and they want to find out for themselves.

It's like pre-selection or social proof when you are out somewhere and they see you with hot women. You immediately become more attractive to them.

Scarcity and urgency are psychological heuristics. They apply to literally anything. That's why precious metals are so valuable. That's why those hypebeast clothing drops are so f*cking expensive. That's why we wouldn't set foot in a restaurant that's empty. Groups that surround an item, a location or even a person always make it more interesting.

 

[SW15]

I've never had this happen to me. I've spent my post college years living in bigger U.S. cities and not dating within social circles. I've met people mostly through websites (pre-apps), swipe apps, and cold approaches. In a big city, very few people are well connected. Almost no one has known a lot about me when we met.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Scarcity and urgency are psychological heuristics. They apply to literally anything. That's why precious metals are so valuable. That's why those hypebeast clothing drops are so f*cking expensive. That's why we wouldn't set foot in a restaurant that's empty. Groups that surround an item, a location or even a person always make it more interesting.

Yes, which is why always being available to a woman is such a turn off. Anything that comes easily has little value associated with it and anything that has to be worked hard to obtain has great value associated with it, even if it is the same reward in the end.

An example is if you woke up every day and there was an envelope with $1000 in it that was in your mailbox. At first you would be excited and happy but then the thrill would wear off...you might go a few days without checking and even take for granted that it was there.

However if you randomly received it once a week, you would run to the mailbox everyday to check to see if this was the day it was there.

 

[isasda66]

Because Women want men that they know can close the deal and not leave them going home all horny because he couldn't make sex happen.

Fascinating but what about LMR for women who dont want to put out on the first date? No matter how horny they wait it out.

How frequently does a guy turn on a woman so much and then fail to escalate to fvcking. (not taking ED etc but escalation/logistics)

 

[Roober]

Sounds like they are jealous, good for you! Better to be the man that is admired than the admirer.

To your point though, it likely depends more on your landscape. In the Bay Area, there is almost 10 million people, and my dates ranged from San Francisco to Pleasanton to Oakland, which are about 20-30 miles apart. It's very unlikely any of the women I met knew each other.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Fascinating but what about LMR for women who dont want to put out on the first date? No matter how horny they wait it out.

How frequently does a guy turn on a woman so much and then fail to escalate to fvcking. (not taking ED etc but escalation/logistics)

Apparently pretty often

 

[isasda66]

Apparently pretty often

So he sets the mood right and calls her over for "Mario Kart" and actually starts the game up instead of making a move?

So LMR is a double edged sword even if a chick wants to **** and she has a 2 date rule she gets angry cause nice boy didnt push hard enough.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

So he sets the mood right and calls her over for "Mario Kart" and actually starts the game up instead of making a move?

So LMR is a double edged sword even if a chick wants to **** and she has a 2 date rule she gets angry cause nice boy didnt push hard enough.

Have you not read through the litany of posts on here where guys talk about not making a move when they are alone with a girl and then wondering how to get another chance?

These are guys that CLEARLY are aware of what they should do but don't, imagine all the guys out there who aren't aware and how often they fail to make a move.

Clearly I am not saying to force the issue but there is a certain skill at working around it that many guys don't have.

 

[isasda66]

Have you not read through the litany of posts on here where guys talk about not making a move when they are alone with a girl and then wondering how to get another chance?

**** I didnt realise the girl you be horny af. Always figured out the girl thinks the guy isnt that into her or a *****.

 

[BeExcellent]

Here’s how you handle this sort of statement from a woman:

“How interesting”. And you smile and pause and just move on as though nothing happened.

Never apologize. Own it. In a sophisticated it is what it is kind of way. Be solid & unaffected.

I love the players. Love them. Most of my male friends (who are strictly friends) are players and I typically date this archetype. They are fun, bold, unapologetic, sexy, charming and masculine. What’s not to love about that? They are not boring and are a blast to be around.

Here’s what you’ll discover as a player when interacting with a woman...

1. You’ll find out if she is insecure (if she’s too worried about your reputation she’s insecure). Insecure women get needy & clingy fast. If she’s uncomfortable with the reputation she’s very likely this type.

2. You’ll find out if she’s confident & cool. A woman who is secure & confident isn’t going to worry about a playboy reputation. She’s going to be unflappable and appreciate your comfort level with women. I will say that this type gal is rare compared to the insecure type. A secure woman will know that most women are insecure and will be patient enough to give you some time to realize her value. If you don’t see her value you’ll eventually lose her, but she will give you a shot because she actually enjoys you and isn’t too concerned about the competition.

3. Players love women and who doesn’t like that? Women want a desirable man just like men want desirable women. Beautiful women freak insecure men out just as players freak out insecure women.

4. You’ll see if she respects herself and you, and you’ll see if she has standards. You want a woman who has self respect and standards. You really don’t want a woman who will tolerate disrespect, just as you should not tolerate it.

5. Women love the ego boost of dating or LTRing a player. Not gonna lie it’s fun to be that girl. It has a certain cache.

The main thing is be straight up and transparent about who you are. Don’t be a deciever (although many players are). I’d much rather a man be straight forward that he’s exploring his options (or I will assume this to be true based on observations & conversations) than be a douchebag who is a liar. It’s the deceitful type that give players a bad name. Those are people who hurt others. As a woman who knows the game well I can see this type pretty quickly and they don’t merit the investment...but it does take some calibration to see the deceiver pattern.

So it’s a market. Players are sought after in the market for reason. Be one. You can always hang it up or chill it out if you meet a really great woman.

Cheers

 

[logicallefty]

Oh yes I definitely am considered a man wh()re among my friends and even family. My body count isn’t triple digits like some guys here but it’s 8-9-10 times more than almost all my friends and male relatives. When it comes up I have said “Oh you know I’m the second most interesting man in the world what can I say”. When they ask who the #1 most interesting man in the world is “The ‘I don’t always drink beer’ beer guy Of course. Duhh! everyone knows that!”

 

[BeExcellent]

Oh yes I definitely am considered a man wh()re among my friends and even family. My body count isn’t triple digits like some guys here but it’s 8-9-10 times more than almost all my friends and male relatives. When it comes up I have said “Oh you know I’m the second most interesting man in the world what can I say”. When they ask who the #1 most interesting man in the world is “The ‘I don’t always drink beer’ beer guy Of course. Duhh! everyone knows that!”

Perfect! Precisely!

 

[zekko]

Why do women get so attracted to men perceived as "man slvts"? Logic would tell you that they would find these men repulsive, disgusting, maybe even have women in fear of catching an STD.. but it's the exact opposite. All that goes out the window.

You have to remember that women are by and large attracted to the exact opposite things we are. We tend to find slvttiness unattractive, so women tend to be the opposite. To them it's like dating the popular guy. Be aware not all women are like this, however. I've known many women who will not date guys with such reputations.

 

[Desdinova]

Was talking with a girl I banged not too long ago, and she casually mentioned in conversation that before she met me she was "warned" by other guys that I am a player / "man wh0re" and I should be avoided.. well, you already know the ending and she definitely didn't listen to that advice..

Wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences?

Yes, many times.

Why do women get so attracted to men perceived as "man slvts"?

It gives them an emotional reaction. She'll be more interested in a man who gives her an emotional reaction over a guy that nobody knows. She'll also be wondering if she's attractive or interesting enough to be one of his bedpost notches.

It's all based on emotion.

 

[AttackFormation]

Men have this strange delusion that "players" are unattractive to women. In fact the opposite is the case, for two reasons:

#1 - To be a player you have to be attractive to women in the first place. So, the unstated implication is already that this guy is hot.
#2 - The fact that he's a player makes him more emotionally exciting in itself. Can she figure him out? Will he make her feel special by choosing her? Will she discover why other women like him so much? What's so special about him? Will her social sphere be impressed? How fun is it gonna be to play games with him? What's he going to do with her? OMG. The emotional thrill/emotional excitement of being with a man like this is what makes the woman feel alive.

As BeExcellent herself so nicely says above, women love hot, experienced, suave guys who are popular with (many) other women. The idea that they don't is just a delusion. Being called a player means jealous or envious men see you as MORE of a threat, not less. It means women see you as MORE desirable, not less. I speculate that when a woman outwardly claims to "hate players", she does so for two reasons:

#1 - She likes the game when she's winning, but not when she isn't. The player knows the game. But, the fact that she can't control him is simultaneously what makes her more attracted to him. She hates him because he's sexy, teasy, uncontrollable and has plenty of options - which is why she wants him.
#2 - She just wanted to fvck him too, but she needs to cross her fingers behind her back and portray him as an "@sshole" to safeguard her reputation.

 

[andreihaha]

Men have this strange delusion that "players" are unattractive to women. In fact the opposite is the case, for two reasons:

#1 - To be a player you have to be attractive to women in the first place. So, the unstated implication is already that this guy is hot.
#2 - The fact that he's a player makes him more emotionally exciting in itself. Can she figure him out? Will he make her feel special by choosing her? Will she discover why other women like him so much? What's so special about him? Will her social sphere be impressed? How fun is it gonna be to play games with him? What's he going to do with her? OMG. The emotional thrill/emotional excitement of being with a man like this is what makes the woman feel alive.

As BeExcellent herself so nicely says above, women love hot, experienced, suave guys who are popular with (many) other women. The idea that they don't is just a delusion. Being called a player means jealous or envious men see you as MORE of a threat, not less. It means women see you as MORE desirable, not less. I speculate that when a woman outwardly claims to "hate players", she does so for two reasons:

#1 - She likes the game when she's winning, but not when she isn't. The player knows the game. But, the fact that she can't control him is simultaneously what makes her more attracted to him. She hates him because he's sexy, teasy, uncontrollable and has plenty of options - which is why she wants him.
#2 - She just wanted to fvck him too, but she needs to cross her fingers behind her back and portray him as an "@sshole" to safeguard her reputation.

I agree with all this.
Also, if you're seen as the player, you're seen as the guy who can give women what they want/need. And that you're not needy and can next her if she doesn't meet your criteria. It sets your frame before you do it.
Being seen as a manwh0re is like having a free business card spread to all women nearby. Clearly a win!

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Was talking with a girl I banged not too long ago, and she casually mentioned in conversation that before she met me she was "warned" by other guys that I am a player / "man wh0re" and I should be avoided.. well, you already know the ending and she definitely didn't listen to that advice..

Wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences?

This has definitely happened more than once in my life.. it's like a girl is warned that you're a "bad boy" and she immediately gets intrigued and has to see for herself.

Why do women get so attracted to men perceived as "man slvts"? Logic would tell you that they would find these men repulsive, disgusting, maybe even have women in fear of catching an STD.. but it's the exact opposite. All that goes out the window.

Women would rather share a high status male than have a lame who is 100% faithful to her.

Of course, all the time. As @BeExcellent mentioned it acts as a filter. If a woman thinks I'm a player I look to see how she behaves. Does she assume I'm fake or somehow disingenuous because I have no problem pulling? Or does she keep a more open mind? Obviously I'm attracted to a woman that's not bothered but intrigued and up to the challenge, so that's the type I naturally attract.

The trick is to never get too hung up on your reputation. It's bound to change and yes it's important to guard it, but if it does change always assume it's for the best, that it's meant to somehow make you better, even if you went from God to bum in a girls eyes.

 

[BeExcellent]

Reputation is an interesting topic. For men it is advantageous to be seen as a player or playboy or manwh0re etc. That's a man who loves women and as I noted it has a certain appeal and women love being that woman who captures the player...

For women reputation is different. It is not advantageous (in my view) to be seen as a wh0re, although I do know some women who are, unapologetically, and they have slept with who knows how many men and they simply don't care what anybody thinks. They never lack for male attention and they make the manwh0res look like amateurs. That's because it's EASY as a woman to get sex. The two women I'm thinking of are both cool from a personality perspective and very attractive. But that's not how I roll at all.

My ex BF (an enormous player) would call me a prude at times because I would NOT act like a wh0re, . I'm not, but I do exercise restraint and I do not sleep around. My entire social circle (which is large) knows this. It's interesting. Men want to take me out and get to know me...knowing that my ex was a big player, and knowing that he was INTO me, which means there must be something about me that made it worth LTRing me rather than tossing me. See the difference? My value went up in my social circles because of my restraint and because it is well known that I do NOT sleep around.

I am a player myself in the sense that I know how to play the game as well as anyone, but for a woman, sex isn't necessary. Why? Sex is easy for an attractive woman to get. Relationships are a bigger trophy for a woman. I'm the girl a playboy will actually date, LTR or marry. I still have the ring that my exBF gave me (yes he gave me a ring and used to show it off to other women) and many of my exes from years past would jump at the opportunity to have me back again...several have told me so.

The main thing is to be unapologetic for the way you choose to exist in the world. A number of women, when I first started dating my recent ex, warned me, told me "He's a player, he'll play you, etc. etc." I simply smiled at them and said, "Yes I know. I am WELL aware of what I'm dealing with..." and we certainly had our issues along the way, but the issues were less about him being a playboy and more about much deeper issues that were unique to him, and became the reason I walked away. Even now, 2 months into solid NC I see his family members and close friends creeping my social media (he is totally blocked and pulled down his social media accounts) and I know he is reeling because he did not think I would walk away...even though I told him I was capable of leaving him.

Other men are curious as to why I was compelling enough for that guy to have a relationship with. So I've had more dates and offers to get together etc. than I can shake a stick at.

And yes I do like nightlife and getting out and being social...and I prefer men who are urbane and like the same sort of thing. You have to put yourself in an environment where you meet people who enjoy what you enjoy. I golf, dance tango/Latin/swing, and like expensive restaurants and high end clubs. I also enjoy live music and sports. Guess what? I meet men in all these places and they already enjoy something I enjoy.

Reputation, as my wise granny used to say, is more important than everything except your health. Guard it and be sure it precedes you.