Does your job matter?

[I'm Joe Dirt]

"Gold digger?" "Looking for a provider?" Excuse me, isn't that one in the same?????

Well not quite. A gold digger will milk you for fancy outfits, jewlery, and expensive nights out, and even cold hard cash (as in "hey honey I'm a little low, can I get a few bucks for gas?").

Someone who is looking for a provider is simply looking for someone who can make sure there is food on the table and that future offspring are well fed and have what they need.

So basically whereas a gold digger is looking for maximum cash, a provider would be happy to know you have stable full-time employment.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by I'm Joe Dirt
...a provider would be happy to know you have stable full-time employment.

... Ummm, what about the part about her wanting to be provided for, by means other than her own? In the hopes of not sounding too much like PRL I will say that a woman who is looking for a provider could be no different than a gold digger other than she has more tact and may give raise a family to be taken care of for a longer length of time.

Now if she is a woman with her own means, that's another thing altogether. Kinda like the merging of two corporations building something together to create a better ROI. It may sound cold and uncaring but face it, we are talking about the livelihood of at least two people and it isn't necessarily fair to put all of the providing pressure on either party.

 

[PoS]

isn't 30 to 35k income fall into an average (middle class) category?

 

[RedPill]

I hate to say it, I really do, but money does matter. It actually matters a ton. Yes, money and happiness are not bound together, but there is a strong correlation.

If you've made the life choice to say "do what you want, money's overrated," you are binding yourself to a certain reality.

In this reality:

1) You'll never be in true control of how your time is spent. This will be determined by your employers.

2) Your lack of purchasing power will always leave you at the mercy of lenders (for your house, auto, bills, etc).

Right now I've made the choice, in my early 20s, to take on a major risk and sacrifice of starting my own small business. Growing up in the classic suburban enviornment, it makes my stomach turn how the whole supposed point of my existence was to produce another good worker bee who will blindly follow the middle class mold.

As it relates to game, nobody has to be rich to score with chicks. But... if you want to end up with a REAL woman, who will be the total supporter of you, you have to be the total provider for her. There's too many women out there who are independent w****s who leach off the fact that you'll give them a home and mall money and sperm. Money does matter.

Everyone gets what they get in the end. Real, feminine women want a provider. I just don't want to be the guy who's busting his nuts to make ends meet while his woman is off shagging someone else who can afford to take her places. These days, making a minimum of 50k a year is about what's necessary just to live comfortably by yourself.

 

[Alpine]

Deep down all women want a provider and a protector no matter what job she does.

But that doesn't mean she doesn't knock off the 18yr old football player when she gets the chance.

Sooooo cynical

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
It only matters if you enjoy dating women that judge men on things other than who they really are.

who you really are depends in part on what you do and how you do it. for chicks in their mid to late twenties, especially the hotties who have dated loser after loser, it matters more. not because they are gold diggers, but because they want a MAN. someone who is reliable, stable, has responsibilities, has ambition, and is going somewhere in life. what you do for a living reflects that.

and this leads to the whole idea that you are "hard to get" and the perverbial "you are the prize" idea.

very few chicks are actual real gold diggers. those that are, are easy to spot. but just because a chick wants a guy who has a good job and career and is going somewhere, DOES NOT mean she's a gold digger.

women want a man who can "provide". that's a simple fact of being a man.

hey, i want a chick that is going somewhere too. i'm not a gold digger.

this is a pretty dicey subject, but i will say this: you should definitely make more than she does! if she makes more than you do, it fukks things up subconciously. power is shifted to her and that will NEVER work...you will be emasculated. if not in her mind, in your own mind, and the latter is worse.

two times as much is a good figure. think about it, if she makes $30k, you make $60k (at least). this is reasonable.

it's just a fact of being a man. don't biatch and moan about it. get out there and hustle your azz. these are the qualities that quality chicks want in a man.

 

[HereToImprove]

I don't want to date a gas station clerk or a waitress or a girl working at Target in the long run either. Maybe for a fling, yes, but for the person I think about settling down with, money is important. She doesn't have to be a corporate executive, but something at least respectable and stable and that pays a decent salary such as teaching would be nice.

Most women feel the same way as this. They may sleep with a garbage man, but the good ones will seldom stay with him, past the college years.

I also have never found a problem with seeing someone who makes more than you or has more money than you. I know several guys whose wives make more than them, and they never have a problem with it. These guys all make good money, some close to six figures, but their wives make a little more. No biggie. I think the extra 100K they are pulling in over a guy who's wife works at Burger King is worth more than a little bit of ego. I once dated the niece of an NBA franchise owner (a billionaire on the Forbes 500 list), and I never once had a problem with her financial situation!

 

[PoS]

Originally posted by TooColdUlrick
who you really are depends in part on what you do and how you do it. for chicks in their mid to late twenties, especially the hotties who have dated loser after loser, it matters more. not because they are gold diggers, but because they want a MAN. someone who is reliable, stable, has responsibilities, has ambition, and is going somewhere in life. what you do for a living reflects that.

and this leads to the whole idea that you are "hard to get" and the perverbial "you are the prize" idea.

very few chicks are actual real gold diggers. those that are, are easy to spot. but just because a chick wants a guy who has a good job and career and is going somewhere, DOES NOT mean she's a gold digger.

women want a man who can "provide". that's a simple fact of being a man.

hey, i want a chick that is going somewhere too. i'm not a gold digger.

this is a pretty dicey subject, but i will say this: you should definitely make more than she does! if she makes more than you do, it fukks things up subconciously. power is shifted to her and that will NEVER work...you will be emasculated. if not in her mind, in your own mind, and the latter is worse.

two times as much is a good figure. think about it, if she makes $30k, you make $60k (at least). this is reasonable.

it's just a fact of being a man. don't biatch and moan about it. get out there and hustle your azz. these are the qualities that quality chicks want in a man.

most of people (guys) i know makes under 35k a year and they have no problem getting marry. think about it .. if u make 60k a year, your consider upper class aka "rich". and how many people you know around you makes that much money? high paying jobs are hard to find now days even with the BA or masters because there are 100.000 other people just like you wants that job.

thats why you need to find someone that who are on your level.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by PoS
most of people (guys) i know makes under 35k a year and they have no problem getting marry. think about it .. if u make 60k a year, your consider upper class aka "rich". and how many people you know around you makes that much money? high paying jobs are hard to find now days even with the BA or masters because there are 100.000 other people just like you wants that job.

thats why you need to find someone that who are on your level.

if you think that $60k a year is upper class aka "rich" you must live in Botswana. it's barely middle class. on the west side of LA, or SF, Manhattan, or most other metro areas, you can barely survive on $60k. everyone i know (my buds) make six digits, some deep six, some seven.

i know that most of you guys here are younger and a $60k a year job might sound like a lot. but it's actually peanuts. please, set your long term goals just a tad higher.

great PoS...find someone on your own level, and keep yourself nice and poor for the rest of your life.

 

[Interpol]

I agree with TooColdUlrick here.

It's funny how some of you guys talk about feminism like it's the black plague, but then suggest that if a women wants to be "provided for", she's all of a sudden a no-good gold-digging *****.

Wake up guys, for the male to be the truly dominant force of the relationship, he MUST be the provider.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

this is what will eventually happen in an LTR when the chick makes more money than you do. trust me it will happen...never happened to me because i make bank, but it's happened to friends. i witnessed such a dialog, first hand once...and it was UGLY.


her: honey, you said you were going to take the trash out
you: hang on, i'm in first place (need for speed, xbox, tuning her out)
her: you don't do anything around the house
you: ...uh...yeah...hang on a minute...i'll take care of it
her: are you listening to me?
you: yes...WHAT?
her: i said, TAKE THE TRASH OUT!!!
you: I WILL!!!
her: i'm sick and tired of this sh!t. i work hard all day. you said you were going to take the trash out. you don't do sh!t around the house anymore.
you: yes i do
her: you should do more
you: why? it's your house too. we're equal partners.
her: WHY!? it's only fair...I MAKE MORE MONEY THAN YOU DO!

re-read that last line a couple of times.

snip...snip...snip...

THAT IS THE SOUND OF YOUR NVTS GETTING CHOPPED OFF. THIS RELATIONSHIP IS OVER, FORTHWITH.

if you think it won't happen, think again. it was there in her mind all along, latently resting, festering resentment, not respecting your income earning (e.g. "provider") status as a MAN, begging to come out, the big guns, at the right time. eventually, these exact seven words will be spoken--

"i make more money than you do".

ouch. the circumstances are meaningless...when she says those words...GAME FUKKING OVER! you will never forget it, and you will latently or overtly develop resentment towards her for throwing it in your face. most likely all respect is gone.

i would say an exception would be the following: you are banging a uber rich trust fund baby; you are a wannabe rock star and dating a stripper to support you; you are a puzzy boy who is already emasculated.

there are exceptions, but you NEVER EVER want to hear those words from your chick. EVER! the only way to prevent this, is to bust your ass and make the money. or date a "loser" chick whom you know will always make her $20k a year.

and as a side note...one of the reasons why a chick might ask what you do, or perhaps point blank what you make, could be for this very reason rather than her being a gold digger. she WANTS you to make more than she does. she knows perhaps that she cannot respect a man who makes less than she does.

this is why you should not jump to the conclusion that she is a gold digger if she inquires about your income or what you do. it's a fair question.

in addition, it's more about what your income-earning POTENTIAL is, rather than what you're making at the moment. chicks want guys that have potential...the quality ones will be your cheerleader...and root you on. but if they see you slugging along, going nowhere, not working to your potential, not becoming the MAN, the PROVIDER that she wants/needs, she will most likely dump you for someone else that is.

as well she should, IMO.

this is a good topic!

 

[HereToImprove]

I disagree. If I can date someone making more than me, great. More power to her, and us.

Maybe its because I am younger and its less of an issue at my age (and most women in my dating age bracket are impressed with my income and the vast majority make less than me (around $55K), while someone who is 30 may not be.

If I worked in a gas station making minimum wage and she was a doctor, maybe that is an issue. But if she makes $80K as an attorney or something and I make $60K, its not a big deal in my opinion. Better that than having her be a $7 an hour drain on your finances.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by HereToImprove
More power to her, and us.

get that out of your mind. it's a red herring. it's eharmony crapola. but you're ahead of the curve at 55k @ 24yr/old.

but you are correct, it's much less of an issue when you're younger. mid to late twenties is what i'm talking about. that's when chicks begin to "get it", after they've dated guys who can't "provide" or there's no resonable expectation of it.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Re: no job no money

Originally posted by whitedragon
Hey, haha 30 k a year is very good dough to some people, but ah, i wouldnt let that get in the way...

for instance,

i drove a geo metro....piece of crap trust me
no job...
live with parents...

and still i think i got the don juan magic, i can get laid anytime i want (I have three girls in rotation), im confident that i can get at least 3 numbers a nite...

like master p said...its not where ya from, its how ya come...

imagine if i had a job...a nice car...hmmm..i wonder.........

wh0res don't care if you got a job/nice cars. They're not in it for the long run. Why would they? They think they're men too and just like to fu*k. They don't mind being in a "rotation".

I think the context of this discussion is a real women considering a LTR type deal....not a multiple ONS wh0re.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by TooColdUlrick
who you really are depends in part on what you do and how you do it. for chicks in their mid to late twenties, especially the hotties who have dated loser after loser, it matters more. not because they are gold diggers, but because they want a MAN. someone who is reliable, stable, has responsibilities, has ambition, and is going somewhere in life. what you do for a living reflects that.

and this leads to the whole idea that you are "hard to get" and the perverbial "you are the prize" idea.

very few chicks are actual real gold diggers. those that are, are easy to spot. but just because a chick wants a guy who has a good job and career and is going somewhere, DOES NOT mean she's a gold digger.

women want a man who can "provide". that's a simple fact of being a man.

hey, i want a chick that is going somewhere too. i'm not a gold digger.

this is a pretty dicey subject, but i will say this: you should definitely make more than she does! if she makes more than you do, it fukks things up subconciously. power is shifted to her and that will NEVER work...you will be emasculated. if not in her mind, in your own mind, and the latter is worse.

two times as much is a good figure. think about it, if she makes $30k, you make $60k (at least). this is reasonable.

it's just a fact of being a man. don't biatch and moan about it. get out there and hustle your azz. these are the qualities that quality chicks want in a man.

If a guy only has his job to offer good luck, but putting such a emphasis on it usually works against him in the long run.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

Your job tells people a lot about your personality, and your attitude.

Its not the money, its the job itself. If you're 40 and you work at McDonalds, it screams "I'm a loser with no ambition!!!"

Everything you do gives off an image, from your career and job, to your clothing and attitude.

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

Well I don't know about you guys, but I would like to have a family some day and if I am out doing work or taking care of business I would like someone to stay home and raise the kids.

I'd wanna spend as much time as possible with my family and I am not saying my wife shouldnt work at all, but while the kids need most attention in their early years I'd like her to stick to part time work or something so that my future kids are raised by loving parents not day care centers or TV.

In such a case, I would want to be a good provider, and I sure as hell plan to be.

There are also plenty of women out there who havent bought into all the Feminazi b.s. who also want to raise their families and to them being taken care of so they dont have to work as hard so that they can help raise the kids is important to them as well.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by diplomatic_lies
Your job tells people a lot about your personality, and your attitude.

Its not the money, its the job itself. If you're 40 and you work at McDonalds, it screams "I'm a loser with no ambition!!!"

Everything you do gives off an image, from your career and job, to your clothing and attitude.

Sorry, but anyone who would judge my personality by my career wouldn't be worth my time or effort in knowing. They seem superficial and perhaps they would spend the majority of their time posturing in an attempt to prove their own social worth.

 

[Junior Sanz]

i dont think the job matters as much as the mans attitude and drive....

women are attracted to driven, highly motivated, men... its something about their ability to get things done and move up the ladder of professional success.

my GF knows im not making a ton of money but she sees the fire in my eyes to someday be able to live comfortably and enjoy nice things....

my recent promotion at my current job has supported my "killer instinct" when it comes to my professional career and probably has boosted my stock up a little bit as well...

its about your ATTITUDE not how much you bring home a week...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Junior Sanz
i dont think the job matters as much as the mans attitude and drive....

Ahhhh, so it's a man's character that is more important, what a concept!

Job titles and earning means squat if the guy is an @sshole, we've all worked for/with one of those guys that thinks he big sh1t just because of his title. Ever see what happens to these types of guys if their title is taken away from them? It's a sad sight to watch.

Authenticity in character is worth more than any salary or title when it comes to becoming a DJ.