Does this sound like you?

[Dapper Swindler]

To be honest, I'm no DJ and my game is terrible. I couldn't get laid at a weight watchers meeting. It's bad, I tell you. Not good at all. But, I don't consider myself an AFC because of the true definition of it.

Average: I'm in fact well below average. Even AFCs stumble their way into "getting lucky" once in a while. My record for my age is definitely below average.

Frustrated: Frustrated is the guy holding flowers in the rain outside a oneitis's window. Frustrated that he is so nice to her but she chooses the jerk over him. He doesn't understand why. I used to be that way, but not anymore. I don't get frustrated because I know exactly why.

Chump: Am I clueless and stupid? Not at all. I'm more than familiar with the DJ Bible and more importantly, I understand why it works. I understand what women are attracted to and why with complete clarity. There is no mystery to it. I know the right things to say, the right behavior. I can read a dozen threads at this site and tell you exactly what the poster is doing wrong.

So if I'm so smart, then why is my game so bad? The reason is that my INNER GAME is a wreck; its crap. I have as much confidence as Stephen Hawking would have playing in the NFL. I must have gotten started in life on the wrong foot or been born without any confidence genes. But I don't feel like a confident, complete human being who can interact normally with other people. I've never felt good about myself. It affects my body language, voice, posture, and behavior. Smiling is unnatural for me. And even knowing what I know from this site and elsewhere, I just can't pretend or act my way to success.

Maybe I will discuss some of the things I am doing to gain confidence and ask for further suggestions. But first I am interested if anyone else is in the same boat as me. We're not DJs but we're not AFCs because we understand the game. Maybe we're LIGs, Lacking Inner Game. Anyone else a LIG?

 

[Sapiens]

So you know what's wrong, why don't you get a mentor?

I knew all this stuff back in '88,, but my real comming of age didn't happen until I had a mentor show me the ropes.

He said "Sapiens, you are a nice dude, but you gotta realize that you can be Tom Cruise but with no money, not many women will want you around long; but with money and your looks you will be more than alright!"

I was his wingman for 18 months. What I got out of the deal?

1. Laid like a rooster!

2. Awesome physical shape.

3. Confidence and Financial Independence.

4. I think I am a better human being.

What did he get out of the deal? My eternal gratitude and a friend that would follow him to hell and back.

-Sapiens

 

[tmpgstx]

Lol .. Stephen Hawking playing football, now that would be a site. Poor guy.

Everyone has insecurities. Some more than others, but everyone has 'em. Even if you're not feeling confident, imagine what you would do or how you would be if you were - in every situation.

Start by facing up your body language. Doing this will make you feel better.

You may think guys then get alot of girls are all confident etc. but many of them aren't and either are the girls they get - not at all. Remember this: You're as good as anyone.

Alot of it has nothing to do with you say, but more how you say it, your actions, self-control and the confidence in knowing that you're doing the right thing (or as right as right gets).

We're all just humans beings. I think the best thing you can do is just stop caring - it seems then that things start going more your way when it comes to things you can't control.

 

[Tazman]

My Uncle once told me that I have to open myself up more. Me being an introvert, didn't (and still don't in most cases) want to do this, but I know I HAVE TO. I'm not used to being open with people, especially people I don't know that well, but that's the only way I'm going to get more opportunities (and much needed practice). I have too many "insecurities" to list here, and it's hard to feel good about yourself without any positive reinforcement, but I've taken on a new attitude.

No one trully cares about my problems, only I do (know this....live by this). Don't look for gratitude and appreciation, just go out there and get what YOU want. Having a more "selfish" mindset has helped me overcome barriers that I thought were too difficult to destroy. I make EC, and don't look away until the other person does (I do this with women mostly because I don't want guys getting the wrong impression or to instigate fights). Be glad you're not a 26 y/o virgin like myself who's just started taking this stuff seriously with the last year.

I made a total of ONE approach recently and was turned down......it felt surprisingly GOOD. I felt like a normal guy asking a girl out (something I haven't done in 10 years).

 

[DonJuanMonk]

I think you may need a positive male role model.

The current DJ model system focuses on techniques and "inner game" on how to interact with women when the TRUE core of dating is masculinity. If you didn't get it from a dysfunctional/absent father - YOU MUST get it from someone else. You must also make amends to associate yourself positively with this male friend and disassociate yourself negatively away from other male friends or even female friends who seem comfortable staying home, idling by, playing video games, or doing boring ass shiat.

 

[Boner da Stoner]

Used to be a LIG. Inner game and lacking are old definitions but they are useful in most situations!

Only problem with asking if this 'sounds' like me is just that, it's not me it only sounds like me!

I am me, with stupid NLP anchors that I acquired from society.

 

[Dapper Swindler]

Thanks for the advice.

Sapien a mentor would help tremendously. Not just for this problem but for everything. But how am I going to get a mentor? Anyone want to be my mentor? It's not that easy.

More replies to come.

 

[Boner da Stoner]

LMAO wow I told you nothing except what my drunk brain was thinking... holy **** I sound like a flaming reatrd with a dictionary for a brain.

Being a mentor is tough ****, but you have to play it as a game... A mentor will be your conscience. haha con science, nice.

You have to be your own mentor. I have met tons of people who are extremely intelligent, motivated, overweight, depressed, social genius', players, teachers, parents. They all had everything they wanted, they were extremely happy with their lives.

But they didn't get laid, they had horrible sex lives, and thats ONE of the things that bothered them. They were still happy on the outside, but wrecks on the inside.

LMFAO, this almost turned into a motivational speech.

Wha eva I wanna copy ALI G, now that would be a :crackup: night for myself. I'm sure a bunch of people would want to beat the crap out of me. I wonder how it must feel to be jamaiican?

damn, well to find yourself a mentor, do the simple thing... be where you need help. Than, tell people. Nobody who is not doing what you need done is going to do it for you... that is a waste, your mentor won't be a genie in a bottle.

 

[flippinfreak]

bump