Does this site cause paranoia and insecurity?

[Trump]

Now I've come to notice just how much that negativity and paranoid has been instilled in me. So, the first blip in a relationship, when a girl cancels a date or stops texting for a while, I automatically think she has devious intentions.

A lot of guys might think it's good to be guarded and good not to let women take advantage of you, but often enough that very mind set is what drives these women away.

Instead of assessing the situation, discussing it with her or just giving it time, a lot of guys (myself included) will often jump to the worst conclusion and throw a tantrum. We'll either ignore her, next her, "call her out" on it or dump her in a desperate attempt to protect ourselves.

If a girl cancels a date, you should think "OK" and move on. You have already lost the battle if you think anything more.

Being guarded and not letting a women take advantage of you doesn't drive them away. Not having a job, supplicating, pleasing, thinking you have to have her at all costs will.

"Assessing the situation"? Bro this is not Operation Barbarossa on the Eastern Front, it's a girl. If she acts badly, you ignore her. If she puts you down, you respond. If she doesn't respect you, you next her. Not that hard

This really isn't good. People do have genuine reasons for cancelling a date, acting a bit distant and not every woman is out to hurt you. If they do, it's usually because you're acting so insecure and negative. And that's the irony.

Come on bro, you are old enough not to think like this. A woman's whole goal is for you to get emotionally attached to her so she can play on your nerves and dump you. She may not be out to purposely hurt you, but if she can make herself look good, she will do it at any cost.

 

[skinnyguy]

This site should be called the "I hate women" site because most guys on here hate women to the core.

It's tough to find, but there are girls out there who are actually really sweet and make good girlfriends. They are not at the clubs.

 

[Jariel]

I think this thread proves my point.

Nothing wrong with responding to indifference with indifference or standing up for yourself if she disrespects you, but living in this paranoid belief that you can't trust women indicates very low self worth.

I've had women cheat on me, but that's because I've been insecure, needy and driven them away. I take a lot of the responsibility for that, because I'd do the same thing if I was with a girl and she got fat and stopped taking pride in herself.

But on the other side of the coin, I've had women so deeply obsessed with me that I'm the centre of their universe and not even Brad Pitt could lure them away.

And let's face it, if you're truly confident, you don't go for the low class skanks who have a habit of messing around with other guys.

 

[user name]

This site should be called the "I hate women" site because most guys on here hate women to the core.

It's tough to find, but there are girls out there who are actually really sweet and make good girlfriends. They are not at the clubs.

that's not true. i love women. enough to want to arm myself with information about how they work mentally.

i cringe at how i behaved with women as recent as a year and a half ago prior to reading sites like these.

 

[BraddH]

This site should be called the "I hate women" site because most guys on here hate women to the core.

It's tough to find, but there are girls out there who are actually really sweet and make good girlfriends. They are not at the clubs.

Yes to every word. The guys here expecting a quality girl from a bar who gives head in her momas bed the same night while her daddy is drunk asleep next to her.

 

[user name]

This site should be called the "I hate women" site because most guys on here hate women to the core.

It's tough to find, but there are girls out there who are actually really sweet and make good girlfriends. They are not at the clubs.

i made a BIG mistake underestimating one 'sweet' girl. seriously, she was like an angel. butter wouldn't melt. but make no mistake she was as horny as they come (no pun intended). we are carnal animals and our carnal desires are strong.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Depends 100% on the quality of the girl and 0% on your own delusions of "self confidence".

QFT

Was thinking on the exact same line.

 

[PlayHer Man]

This site should be called the "I hate women" site because most guys on here hate women to the core.

It's tough to find, but there are girls out there who are actually really sweet and make good girlfriends. They are not at the clubs.

All women are sweet and make good girlfriends provided the man continues to be "on top" in whatever way she requires (status, money, looks, fame, etc.) and provided he continues to be the best she can do.

All human beings are selfish and opportunistic at their core. No matter how much they go to church, send money to kids in Africa or rescue kittens from trees. They are all selfish and opportunistic at their core. Survival requires this. To be ignorant of this fact about your fellow humans puts you at a huge disadvantage in both dating and life. Its very naive to believe there are a few precious angels out there who's only dream in life is to find a man and treat him like a king until she (or he) drops dead.. FOR NOTHING IN RETURN. :crazy:

Lets get serious. Wake up dude. :crackup:

 

[Stagger Lee]

Depends 100% on the quality of the girl and 0% on your own delusions of "self confidence".

You mean all my delusions of self confidence still won't change a ho into a quality girl ?

So true though. If a woman is showing bad or suspicious behavior, regardless of what you want to believe it's still suspicious.

 

[MikeOck]

Subject: "My girlfriend is a bit distant lately"
Subject: "A girl cancelled our date and said her dog died"
Subject: "My girlfriend and I had an argument"

Learn to think for yourself and stop asking questions about every minute interaction in your relationships. If you keep it up, your girl IS going to run off and suck some other guy's ****, because no woman wants an insecure man who can't read common behavior or make a single decision on his own.

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

I'm beginning to suspect that BraddH, SkinnyGuy, and user name are the same person.

In any case, the level of naivete mixed with assuredness is pretty telling.

As is their stereotyping and arguing with/ignoring several older guys on here with experience and lots of rep (not even including myself here).

A good lesson on the learning process and the impetuousness of youth.

 

[youngmack]

Unfortunately most of the time she is sucking another guys penis, OP.

Exactly, this is just reality. We gotta understand that yes there are some good/quality females out there, but that miniscule number or percentage is decreasing . Society is getting more fvcked up and so is morality.

Like another poster said, I too have had MANY taken girls try to get at me. Sh1t me and THREE other dudes in my high school fvcked one of them not knowing she had a bf. What's sad is that she took him to our school prom, and this guy feels strongly for her not knowing of her trifling, slutty ways.

We were there like damn this is a cold cold world.

 

[Solomon]

real talk

Now I've come to notice just how much that negativity and paranoid has been instilled in me. So, the first blip in a relationship, when a girl cancels a date or stops texting for a while, I automatically think she has devious intentions.

A lot of guys might think it's good to be guarded and good not to let women take advantage of you, but often enough that very mind set is what drives these women away.

Instead of assessing the situation, discussing it with her or just giving it time, a lot of guys (myself included) will often jump to the worst conclusion and throw a tantrum. We'll either ignore her, next her, "call her out" on it or dump her in a desperate attempt to protect ourselves.

This really isn't good. People do have genuine reasons for cancelling a date, acting a bit distant and not every woman is out to hurt you. If they do, it's usually because you're acting so insecure and negative. And that's the irony.

I think you bring up a valid point, one that has been argued since this site inception. First you have to remember a lot of the advice/opinons/side bars you get here are with peoples biased. This is to be expected

The problem comes that when someone comes with a story we don't know shyt. The truth is we don't know the whole story. When a guy writes a tale about giving advice on how to have sex but is a virgin (I've seen this on this site). It undermines the credibility not just of that poster but the site as well.

Over the years there have been a lots of posters here with aspiriations to fame and "e-props" just to be exposed as frauds

Here is a good thread for example of when a guy is trying to get e-fame the wrong way

The truth is a lot of guys here aren't qualfied to give advice. I'll be the first one to admit I'm not banging 9's or 10's. Hell even the pros aren't. A teacher from RSD recently got exposed for trying to phuck a fat hooker for free the truth is this guys who are very successfull at this won't be around here for long or come and go. In 5 years I've met some guys who were hands down legit so it made sense when they moved on and actually this is normal.

I've said in the past what they should do is allow avatars. And if guys post a girlfriend story it should be mandatory that they pics of their girlfriends. This is done on bodybuilding.com and it works like gold over there. There is a reson why I only post in 6 months increments. The reality is that as men you have to be able to make decisions on your own when it comes to life/work/job and yes women. Crititcal thinking is something I lacked but once I was able to remove my emotions from a situation I was able to pull the trigger faster on situations.

There times where I still eff up cause my feelings get in the way those are the times I may seek council. However I've been here enough where It's easy for me to tell which advice is legit and b.s.

Once you're able to think criritcal without your dyck it makes this thing a lot easier.

However it's easier said then done

 

[Bokanovsky]

Now I've come to notice just how much that negativity and paranoid has been instilled in me. So, the first blip in a relationship, when a girl cancels a date or stops texting for a while, I automatically think she has devious intentions.

A lot of guys might think it's good to be guarded and good not to let women take advantage of you, but often enough that very mind set is what drives these women away.

Instead of assessing the situation, discussing it with her or just giving it time, a lot of guys (myself included) will often jump to the worst conclusion and throw a tantrum. We'll either ignore her, next her, "call her out" on it or dump her in a desperate attempt to protect ourselves.

This really isn't good. People do have genuine reasons for cancelling a date, acting a bit distant and not every woman is out to hurt you. If they do, it's usually because you're acting so insecure and negative. And that's the irony.

The right approach is to develop an attitude that falls somewhere between naiveté and paranoia. Give her the benefit of the doubt if it seems reasonable under the circumstances but never be blind to the fact that she could be lying to you. You should cultivate the same mindset for dealing with men too; not just women.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

This site should be called the "I hate women" site because most guys on here hate women to the core.

It's tough to find, but there are girls out there who are actually really sweet and make good girlfriends. They are not at the clubs.

I've been on here 2-3 months, that is some warped perception right there.^

As a older guy but newbie on SS, NO this site does not cause paranoia and insecurity.

Now a new younger guy with little life/woman experience then yes it possible could, but I think it will do more GOOD than bad. I would imagine most older guys on here learned through just living life, trial and error and observation. Sh*t these younger new guys coming on here have it made, they just don't realize it.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

The right approach is to develop an attitude that falls somewhere between naiveté and paranoia. Give her the benefit of the doubt if it seems reasonable under the circumstances but never be blind to the fact that she could be lying to you. You should cultivate the same mindset for dealing with men too; not just women.

Open but guarded. Let her bury herself, don't dig her grave for her....or yours.

 

[user name]

I'm beginning to suspect that BraddH, SkinnyGuy, and user name are the same person.

In any case, the level of naivete mixed with assuredness is pretty telling.

As is their stereotyping and arguing with/ignoring several older guys on here with experience and lots of rep (not even including myself here).

A good lesson on the learning process and the impetuousness of youth.

now you're just being paranoid.

 

[user name]

Open but guarded. Let her bury herself, don't dig her grave for her....or yours.

i agree with this. i had terrible oneitis with this one girl at work who was playing me like a fiddle by giving IOIs etc but not committing to a date whilst i suspected she was seeing other guys in other departments.

i just stopped contact until the point she showed her cards after one drink too many.

although my ego still tells me she was using them to get a reaction out of me as a result of me going NC.

 

[In2theGame]

I think a lot of the negative responses come from bad experiences with women but here's the sad thing many times it can be true.. Ive seen some VERY shady things from women (the types you think would never do wrong), Ive been the other guy she's talking to, Ive been the guy cheated on badly etc. After my 5 year relationship ended it opened up a grimm world for me. I mean, she was a great GF for 5 years and I was thinking of marriage until the very end when i found out some horrible things she was doing behind my back and would talk to me as if NOTHING was going on. Once you get trust betrayed badly like that, I believe a man is never the same. As for me that experience sent me on such a wild traumatic emotional pit that I can never be as open as I was before.

Another example of many would be my own step sister. Years ago, I remember listening to her arguing with her serious boyfriend on the phone and even crying telling him that she loved him so much and "why do you not trust me?!". I hated listening to her argue and cry on the phone while i tried playing Xbox but anyway, do you want to know what would happen after she cried and pleaded her love and trust worth self to her BF? Late at night she would meet guys from AOL chat and i would look out the window to see her making out with another guy. When her BF would come over i would feel weird and bad for him. I was really young but still knew right from wrong. He was a real cool guy too.

I dont think the guys on this site actually hate women but that "hate" came from somewhere and most likely came from a woman doing something very fvcked up that caused deep pain and we never forget how that felt. Unable to sleep, Deep depression, Anxiety, unable to focus on work, not wanting to eat, Crying, A feeling of deep sadness and hopelessness in the pit of your stomach through out the day.. All while the woman who fvcked you over is indeed sucking on another dudes c0ck.

Us men remember sh!t like that and that's why you get the responses you get. Couple that with the games woman like to play and the deep deceiving lies many of them tell and its just basically very hard to have a positive outlook on things because when we hear "She cancelled our date because she didnt feel well" and then find out she was out in bars, How would you react if the next girl your talking to tells you the same thing one day? you will assume shes bullsh*tting.

With that said, Today's society (especially here in U.S) many woman act like they dont care about anything or anyone else and therefore get tossed around by guys who just dont give a fvck and then wonder how come many guys dont want to stay. One of my favorite parts in the movie Hitch is when Will Smith makes a point to the two women in the room about why he does what he does and tries to help the average guy and trick women into getting out of their own way from being with guys that fvck them over . Woman need good Men as the solid rock or else they are an emotional mess but according to todays standards... Woman are "empowered" and can do it all on their own. Give me a fvcking break. Ive never been married but have spoken to and heard many stories of divorce and it all sounds like a horrific train wreck for the man. Im sure that also scars deeply.

Overall, Many responses here unfortunately come from life experiences with females.

 

[Chamber36]

I feel like I know what's going on, then I read the front page and everyone is confused.

I can't bear to read most of what's written here as it feels much like the male version of Cosmopolitan. It can help to read this stuff if your heads are in the clouds with ONE-itis for example, but too much will only disassociate you further from reality.