Does this site cause paranoia and insecurity?

[Jariel]

Have you ever noticed that whenever you post on this forum asking advice on a relationship or someone you've been dating, you always get a lot of cynical responses.

Subject: "My girlfriend is a bit distant lately"
Answers: "She's branch swinging" or "She's sucking some other guy's d1ck"

Subject: "A girl cancelled our date and said her dog died"
Answers: "Lies! Her dog isn't dead, she's probably sucking his d1ck right now" or "She just isn't attracted to you"

Subject: "My girlfriend and I had an argument"
Answers: "She's trying to pass blame to you because she wants to suck some other guy's d1ck".

You know how it goes.

Now I've come to notice just how much that negativity and paranoid has been instilled in me. So, the first blip in a relationship, when a girl cancels a date or stops texting for a while, I automatically think she has devious intentions.

A lot of guys might think it's good to be guarded and good not to let women take advantage of you, but often enough that very mind set is what drives these women away.

Instead of assessing the situation, discussing it with her or just giving it time, a lot of guys (myself included) will often jump to the worst conclusion and throw a tantrum. We'll either ignore her, next her, "call her out" on it or dump her in a desperate attempt to protect ourselves.

This really isn't good. People do have genuine reasons for cancelling a date, acting a bit distant and not every woman is out to hurt you. If they do, it's usually because you're acting so insecure and negative. And that's the irony.

 

[VikingKing]

For me a bit. I feel more jaded to, but that's my fault.

Ultimately its been helpful and driven me to change.

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

Many replies are playing the percentages based on experience and observation.

That doesn't mean they are necessarily right or wrong in any particular circumstance.

That said, someone looking for advice here should give the collective wisdom careful consideration.

And THAT said, yes, reading such boards a lot can make us too suspicious and overly cynical toward women's behavior... though that doesn't mean they've done nothing to elicit that either.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Ya, I feel like it does

 

[TheGambino]

'my gf has changed lateley' standard replie: she prob sucking someone elses ****. lmfao that example killed me lol

 

[NewJack]

This is sooooo true OP!!!!

A lot of guys might think it's good to be guarded and good not to let women take advantage of you, but often enough that very mind set is what drives these women away.

Did the guys who founded the original DJ theories be honest with others and themselves about how many girls next you when you start behaving this way? A lot of girls just 'next' the mysterious stranger. I guess that is why there are all these questions about "flakes" and "strange behavior". The guys aren't recognizing that the women are nexting them, so it seems like they have a lot of "strange relationship endings" and "flakes".

Now I've come to notice just how much that negativity and paranoid has been instilled in me. So, the first blip in a relationship, when a girl cancels a date or stops texting for a while, I automatically think she has devious intentions.

Yeah, that itchy trigger finger fvcked things up for me with one of the best girls I ever dated. Scratch that, two of the best girls I ever dated. These were girls who liked me a fair bit and easily approached my physical ideal, I would prefer them physically to most supermodels, and one had mental and spiritual gifts that go beyond what I could easily describe here.

What am I supposed to do, walk into a bar and just replace them? The problem is once your standards get high enough you cant just replace women.

Likewise, once your standards get high enough, you can't just do this shotgun, assembly-line style tactical sh1t. The chances are too precious. I can't afford to next someone carelessly because the world isn't overflowing with women who are my kind of smart, my kind of beautiful, my kind of emotional, and interested in me.

 

[skinnyguy]

The guys on this site are jaded because they aren't "alpha" and can't get women as much as they want to.

 

[BraddH]

'my gf has changed lateley' standard replie: she prob sucking someone elses ****. lmfao that example killed me lol

Llfmao that **** it reply almost killed me hahahaha

 

[PlayHer Man]

If so... then you're listing to the wrong people and/or taking the wrong message from this site.

I would sum up the overall mindset of this site in the following points:

-Your physical and emotional well-being is more important than pleasing, marrying or settling down with any woman.

- Women are not innocent creatures and you have to look out for your best interest when dealing with them.

- Spin plates

- Don't be a faggot

I often say its better for men to NOT attempt bonding with women. Just f*ck them and let them get emotionally attached to YOU. Most men want this "soul mate" crap and they go into relationships looking for a support system. No woman wants to be any man's emotional support system. Don't confuse the ones who try to fix you (mold you into what she wants) with wanting to support you.

Most men lose the game before they even say "hi" to a new woman. Why? --> Because they are co-dependent faggots who need a girlfriend/wife soooo so bad.

Look at it this way: The minute you need someone more than they need you.. you have no power over that person whatsoever. Play all the mind games you want.. you will still lose in the end because you NEED them and they don't need you.

Most men still don't get this. All the PUA tricks, mind games, money, power, etc. don't mean sh!t if you care more than she does. Many a powerful man has been financially and emotionally raped by a woman who just doesn't give a sh!t.

 

[TheGambino]

Llfmao that **** it reply almost killed me hahahaha

'my gf didn't pick up her phone last night'

standard replie: 'your princess is probably in another room s1cking d1ck, I suggest to spin more plates and nc her right away'

lmfao

 

[Jariel]

Don't get me wrong, I do understand that some people need to wisen up. If a girl is clearly not into them or is playing them for a fool, they need to recognise it, but I think in most of those cases they know the score, but they just want some kind of reassurance.

I was thinking that I've overreacted and ruined things with a lot of women due to my insecurities, and each time I was thinking of my PUA/Seduction training. I would even say that many times it's a calculated decision. "I better let her know this sh1t ain't on" kind of mentality. But this crap makes you look like a spoilt diva.

The worst part of it is, most of these times I actually jumped to the wrong conclusion and a day or two later (sometimes more) I realised what an insecure and paranoid loser I had been and how I'd ruined a perfectly good opportunity.

It's a self fulfilling prophecy...you expect to lose the girl, your insecurity drives her away, so you end up losing the girl afterall.

It's much better to show patience, maturity and indifference to these situations. It's a much more attractive way for a man to behave.

 

[BraddH]

'my gf didn't pick up her phone last night'

standard replie: 'your princess is probably in another room s1cking d1ck, I suggest to spin more plates and nc her right away'

lmfao

Hahhahaahha

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

you expect to lose the girl, your insecurity drives her away, so you end up losing the girl afterall.

That's why you spin plates!! ^^^^Agree 100%.

Many replies are playing the percentages based on experience and observation.

That doesn't mean they are necessarily right or wrong in any particular circumstance.

That said, someone looking for advice here should give the collective wisdom careful consideration.

Repped, well said.

 

[instantnoodles]

Butthurt people ----> Butthurt Responses. Weaklings.

Happy, secure, mature people - good responses.

You pick.

 

[DonGorgon]

no it sheds light on the truth an reality of the situation so you can better understand and cope with the current state of the male female mating dynamic

 

[user name]

what makes it pretty depressing here (as well as that other PUA forum) is that the advice is usually true. i learnt this the hard way.there i was thinking my angel was playing hard to get...when in reality she is sucking the guy off in the office next to me and getting off with another. ouch. she's left town but i still have to face that humiliation every day that everyone knows i was being played by this skank whilst she was having it off with everyone else.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Unfortunately most of the time she is sucking another guys penis, OP.

On the flip side in real life I see lots of people in relationships and makes me wonder what do they have that allows them to maintain a relationship that the posters here don't.

I also think it's hard to analyse a situation over text and give credible advice.

In my own opinion this place gives great advice and if I listened I wouldn't have been used over and over again by the same women.

 

[BraddH]

what makes it pretty depressing here (as well as that other PUA forum) is that the advice is usually true. i learnt this the hard way.there i was thinking my angel was playing hard to get...when in reality she is sucking the guy off in the office next to me and getting off with another. ouch. she's left town but i still have to face that humiliation every day that everyone knows i was being played by this skank whilst she was having it off with everyone else.

What humiliation? Are you stupid? The guy should be so low to himself. What kind of man with self-respect would do that? And that chick? She was a slvt. And this man goes fvucking slvts. Are you stupid? What is there to feel humiliated. The guy who did this must have been the lowest possible. The chick also - they belong to the same category.

Also your story is simply story and bull****, nothing more. The way you say it proves you to be a troll or simply the most stupid man on this earth.

Sonetimes I wonder what kind of chick to guys been dating here? Must be slvts and lowlifes. In my own experience, I have not encountered one - you all must be lowlifes yourselves.

 

[Jariel]

Confidence is key.

If you believe your girl is going to be sucking some other guy's d1ck when she has the opportunity to be with you, then you have no confidence.

 

[user name]

What humiliation? Are you stupid? The guy should be so low to himself. What kind of man with self-respect would do that? And that chick? She was a slvt. And this man goes fvucking slvts. Are you stupid? What is there to feel humiliated. The guy who did this must have been the lowest possible. The chick also - they belong to the same category.

Also your story is simply story and bull****, nothing more. The way you say it proves you to be a troll or simply the most stupid man on this earth.

Sonetimes I wonder what kind of chick to guys been dating here? Must be slvts and lowlifes. In my own experience, I have not encountered one - you all must be lowlifes yourselves.

er the humiliation of everyone knowing i really liked this girl and her playing me whilst she was banging someone else?

she wasn't a slut really. just a normal girl.