does this happen with every relaitonship

[BackInTheGame78]

Looking back at my previous relationships conversations i realized how epic the beginning was. All love and compliments and the sexy kinky things we will do to each other. Then like 8 months in the conversations become more dramatic, jealousy issues, cheating implications, just yuck. Is this normal or is this just a problem i have?

Because you don't understand how relationships need to progress to become anything more than they were at the beginning.

You continue trying to do the same things thinking that is what will work.

What works to get into a relationship is not what will work to deepen the relationship.

What it sounds like is your relationships stay on a very superficial level or revolve around sex and you don't allow yourself to become vulnerable which basically is the death knell for any real relationship past 6-8 months..

At some point you have to stop being afraid.

 

[RickTheToad]

Looking back at my previous relationships conversations i realized how epic the beginning was. All love and compliments and the sexy kinky things we will do to each other. Then like 8 months in the conversations become more dramatic, jealousy issues, cheating implications, just yuck. Is this normal or is this just a problem i have?

Add space and mystery. That helps a lot. Having your own lives alone with some together time works well too. Like anything in life, too much of anything isn't good for a person.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

You know it’s interesting. When I start seeing someone I don’t really take things too seriously at the beginning precisely because of the honeymoon period. This is the time of love bombing if you are getting involved with a BPD or a narcissist, it is a time to pay attention to red flags and chemistry and it is a time to enjoy sex but be paying attention to everything besides sex.

Real relationships entail pain, struggle, sacrifice and work. But they reward you with depth, intimacy, bonding and meaningful connection to your partner. I now will put the brakes on “insta relationship” behavior that some men get into. It disappoints them somewhat in that moment. It also allows them to understand reality...which is where all solid relationships end up. It also encourages men to trust & go deeper, understanding that I’m not afraid to listen to & tackle big things. I am real. I know depth takes time to achieve. That’s where the real reward is. Many men resist depth. Variety and shallow sex based interactions are easier. Pursuit of pleasure is seductive. It seems easier. Until it leaves you empty.

Emotional maturity and stability are required for a successful LTR. Shallow dalliances and using people will never get you there. Those are the realizations that must be grappled with before a person can value the road after the honeymoon phase.

When I hear men say that their relationships always flame out after the honeymoon phase? That tells me the man has internal work to do because he himself is choosing interactions that inherently lack depth. So they provide pleasure until they don’t...and it’s wash, rinse repeat ad nauseum.

Then these guys end up bitter and jaded (once pleasure seeking no longer fulfills them) and they think women are the problem...all the while ignoring the mirror where the REAL problem (themself) is staring back at them.

 

[Velasco]

No tbh I find the reverse happens for me. If I can make it past 5 months then the girl starts worshiping me.

This is correct

 

[RangerMIke]

Full of excitement, lust, obsession, and missed red flags

Yep... if you want a relationship to last, you can not ignore the red flags. But it is really easy to spot if you keep your eyes open. Bottomline, if there is ANYTHING, no matter how small, that you do not like about the other person, it will only amplify over time.... and as the initial attraction fades... because it will... all the little things become monsters.

 

[Lookatu]

Many men resist depth. Variety and shallow sex based interactions are easier. Pursuit of pleasure is seductive. It seems easier. Until it leaves you empty.

This part I think is the key take away and unfortunately some never learn and some learn later in life after some damage has happened.
I'm guilty of it as well as I think many other guys that's been a DJ.

From a guy's perspective though, I think it's a catch 22 for younger guys. They need to experience it for themselves and discover it(hopefully) on their own after many experiences to fully understand what you wrote above.

 

[BadBoy89]

Being able to maintain a healthy relationship and keep a woman in her feminine self is the true indicator of whether you have matured as an awaken man.

Possibly. Personally I don’t want to mature as awaken man with an aging women who been f*cked 18 ways from Sunday. I want money and power.

It’s not the man’s job to maintain a healthy relationship, it’s the woman’s job. The man’s job is to get sex and get her PREGNANT. Everything else is up to the women.

Remember men, the media convinces women to commit to themselves only. But it convinces men to commit to women. The courts favour women in almost all circumstances. Public opinion is almost always on the women’s side. If the women is not happy, upset, and depressed, it’s always the man’s fault. The media has told men that Women are Gods who can do NO wrong.

Everything and everyone is on the woman‘s side, no reason the man should not invest anything more than sex in a relationship.

 

[metalwater]

Possibly. Personally I don’t want to mature as awaken man with an aging women who been f*cked 18 ways from Sunday. I want money and power.

It’s not the man’s job to maintain a healthy relationship, it’s the woman’s job. The man’s job is to get sex and get her PREGNANT. Everything else is up to the women.

Remember men, the media convinces women to commit to themselves only. But it convinces men to commit to women. The courts favour women in almost all circumstances. Public opinion is almost always on the women’s side. If the women is not happy, upset, and depressed, it’s always the man’s fault. The media has told men that Women are Gods who can do NO wrong.

Everything and everyone is on the woman‘s side, no reason the man should not invest anything more than sex in a relationship.

what are some of the things men invest that they should not. not the obvious stuff, but what are some of the subtle things men that are already awake still invest in that they should not that results in problems. for each of those what should he do about it instead.